Jasper

After dropping off Connal’s parts, I try to get the books done and deal with all the other shit around here without thinking of Emma. Things take nearly twice as long as I can’t stop thinking of her.

Finally I hit the Club’s bar, looking around I see Gunner and Vice playing cards with a cloud of smoke over their heads. Deb, one of the Girlies, is sitting on Gunner’s knee, stroking his dick; he’s gotta watch out for that one, she’s basically marked him as hers. Can’t tell who, but one of the blonds is blowing Vice under the table.

I join them, waving off Diamond and the honey hole Vice had brought around the week before as they start towards me from different sides. “I’ll be in and out the next few days. Need you to call me if anything is going down.”

Sharing a look between them, Vice is the first to speak up. “What’re you doing about that, Pres?” Deb’s ears perk up, though knowing I don’t like her, she pretends to focus on Gunner’s dick.

“Don’t know yet. Don’t know the story.” Not willing to say more than I need to, nor mention Emma in front of the Girlies. “Don’t see Roy here, when he shows up tell him to come out tomorrow morning for another check-up.”

They’re both smart enough to keep their opinions to themselves. “I’ll be stopping by, just keep your eyes open. Going to need to organize a run to Colorado in the next few days; I’m open to suggestions on who goes.”

We all nod to each other and I move to leave, the new honey hole isn’t the brightest star in the sky and tries to latch onto me; grabbing my hand and sticking it up her shirt.

“I want some more of you, big boy!” She says in the most obnoxious, high pitched voice. Fuck, I had had a few drinks the first time she was in, but hadn’t noticed her voice nor the fact that her fake titties were nearly rock hard. I snarl, yanking my hand back, never making eye contact and leave her in my wake.

Pulling up to my place, it’s nearly dark but I can still tell Probie doesn’t look happy. Stopping to check in with him, I ask the score for the day.

“Um, well. I screwed up,” He says, staring at the insignia on my vest. “Gunner said we could keep it quiet but you’ve been fair to me and I want to be honest.”

“Yeah?” I say as he pauses.

“So, she climbed out a window, snuck into the woods, but happened into Gunner’s shop and he brought her back. She’s been sleeping the past few hours. I let you down.” He stammers.

“Yeah, but you manned up to it, Gunner didn’t mention it to me.” I nod at him, understanding that was a test on Gunner’s side. “I’m gonna need you to keep an eye on her from time to time these next few weeks, then Connal mentioned he could use you at the Garage?” His eyes get huge. “That is if you don’t fuck up again.”

“I’d like that; I won’t fuck up her watch again, I swear it.” Jesus, he looks like a puppy dog now. I give him money and send him to get take out for us before I head inside.

Going to the bedroom first, I find her lightly snoring with her mouth open; her bag is off to the side so I grab it to inspect the contents. Dirty clothes are separated out from the clean; I put the dirty near the front door to get taken care of at the clubhouse. There’s a wad of cash, not enough to get her by very long; a folded knife, dime-store mace, a gold cross on a chain, and a photo album. No IDs nor bank cards.

Going through the album, it seems to be mainly of her and an older blond girl as they’re growing up. Parents make the pictures fairly often but interestingly, the parents are always wrapped around Blondie with Emma standing untouched next to them. As they get older, there’s no doubt they’re sisters, except for their hair, they look so much alike. From the progression, I can see that Emma went from flaming red hair in her youth to the darker shade of red she now bares. A bag taped to the back page of the album holds medals from various meets, looks like Emma’s quite a runner.

It occurs to me that if she wasn’t in the rough shape she is, I would have lost her today. Remembering the tone of her legs, it’s obvious she hasn’t given up running. Putting the rest of the things back in the bag, I see a piece of paper. Unfolding it to find a diploma, it seems one Emma Marie Jones graduated less than a year ago with an Education degree. That’d make her at least twenty two; making note of the school, I’ll have Wrench look up what he can find on her later.

Heading back to the bedroom, I stand over her staring at the damage some unknown, soon to be dead motherfucker has done to her face. I kneel beside her, smoothing her hair back and gently caress her face until she wakes up.

That was stupid.

She wakes with a start and shoots her arm out, blindly striking me in the eye. “FUCK! Goddamn it!” I yell as she screams and scuttles back from me, terror in her eyes.

“Don’t touch me!” Emma yells, as I reach a hand out to sooth her again. “Just give me a minute.”

“I didn’t mean to…” I start, wiping my weeping eye with a corner of my shirt.

“Well, you did,” She cuts in until she notices my face. “Is your eye alright?”

“I’ve taken worse, Darlin’.” I smile at her, trying to reassure her. “Course, next time I try to wake you, I’ll do it from the doorway.”

“Jasper, you know you can’t keep me, right?” I sigh at her statement but this will lead to the conversation I want to have with her, so I ask her to come talk to me in the front room.

She already has sweatpants on under the covers, and I miss the sight of her legs as she slides stiffly from my bed. I let her proceed me out of the room, admiring her ass but grinning at her messy curls. Suddenly, a picture I saw of her and her sister springs to mind; the perfectly put together girl with straight blond hair, smiling serenely at a young Emma – hair flying everywhere, a rip in her tights, and a dirt streak on her face.

Once she hits the center of the room she turns, one hand on a hip, narrows her eyes and starts to speak. I hold up my hand, pointing to the couch. “Sit. I will ask questions, you will answer the questions.”

“Go to hell. You cannot keep me here!”

“I’m helping you! Now I need to know what happened, so stop being stubborn, sit down and explain it to me.” We stand there staring at each other, neither giving in nor saying anything further.

We both turn at the sound of a vehicle outside. “That’ll be Probie with our dinner. There are drinks in the fridge, I’ll have a beer.” I say. Heading to the door, I scoop up her laundry that I had put aside earlier.

I take a deep breath as I go out to meet Probie, seeing me he stumbles getting out of the truck with take-out containers in his arms. “Oh, sorry, I was going to bring it in.”

“Not tonight,” Handing him the bag of laundry. “Have someone at the clubhouse clean these and put them aside for me. I’ll call you if I need you tomorrow,” I slap him on the shoulder and head back inside.

On the floor near either side of the couch I see she’s gotten us each a bottle of beer and one of water; I take the empty end and divvy up the food between us.

After a couple bites eaten in silence, Emma says something faintly. I miss most of it and cock my head to indicate that as my mouth is full, so she starts again. “Stop giving me orders all the time. It isn’t right.”

“Do I?” Actually curious.

“You never say ‘please’, you just tell me to do something you want. I’d like you to listen to what I want.”

“Not if it involves running off with less than two hundred dollars to someplace you’ve never been to be alone,” I plop a French fry in my mouth as her jaw drops opens. “Will you, please, talk to me?”

She looks away, taking a cautious sip of her beer. The crinkle in her nose makes me think she’s new to the taste. Letting her finish her meal, I start again.

“I grew up here, how about you?”

“Nebraska.”

“I had an older brother, Chris,” I’m not sure what I’m doing, telling her about me but I need her to talk to me and I doubt she will until she begins to trust me. “He was killed in a hit and run about four years back. From your pictures, it looks like you have a sister?”

Her breath catches and her eyes well with tears. “I’m sorry, Jasper,” She whispers, looking at me. I nod back.

“My sister and father died in a car wreck last year.” She says, taking a deep breath, looking at me as though trying to read my intentions. “That huge pile-up on 80 that made the national news, the spring before last?” I nod. Videos of it had been constantly played at the time.

“I’m sorry, too, Darlin’. What about your mom?” She looks away then directly at me.

“The first time he hit me, she asked me what I did to provoke him.” Anger is pouring from her steady gaze.

“Will you tell me who did this?” I ask, dreading what I know the answer will be.

“My Father’s successor as Pastor of his Church, pillar of the community, and my husband.” She spits the last word out, angrily.

Red flashes in front of my eyes. “How long?”

“I wasn’t well after my father and sister died, I started on anti-depressants and was out of it a lot. Adam was always around and my mom pushed that. He had never expressed interest in me before and I think with the meds and my loss... I finished school in the spring, late because of their deaths. I married him before I knew what I was doing.” She finishes her beer and I go to us both a fresh one.

“Our marriage wasn’t consummated that night, it didn’t seem like he could and he got angry at me. I had never been with anyone. Our parents, they were really strict Christians, so no dating. A couple weeks later I broke a plate and he slapped me, I was shocked and thought he was too. He stepped towards me and grinned. He kept hitting me, until he raped me.”

Emma is staring at the wall in front of her, coldly retelling her tale. My fists are clenched and I want to tear this man limb from limb. But I know it’s more important for Emma to tell her story.

“I went to my mother’s house as soon as he fell asleep. She said she was going to get some ice, and she did, but she called him while she was in the kitchen. When she came back out, she held my hands and started to pray to Jesus that I would become a better wife to this ‘holy man blessed by His Hands’.” At this, Emma gets up and starts pacing for some minutes, I silently add her mother to a list of people I would spray with gas if they were on fire.

“He took me home, saying we’d pray together. I said I wanted a divorce but he laughed at me. Whenever he wanted sex, which wasn’t often thankfully, he would beat me; I don’t think he could get it up otherwise. I didn’t have a job, I had student loans, and no close friends left in the area. I was too ashamed to leave the house with bruises on my face and couldn’t the time he broke my ribs.” She pauses for a moment.

“One day, months after we were married, I was in the grocery store and a widowed farmer I knew by sight knocked over a can behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin, it frightened me so badly. Henry was one of the few people around town who wasn’t a member of the Church, he approached me outside and just started talking real calmly.”

“Like you spoke to me the other night in the car.” Emma is pacing the length of the room as she speaks. “He started telling me about how his late wife had been married before him. That her first husband beat her something fierce but her sister was able to help her escape that. Henry said he took one look at her and courted her for two years until she agreed to marry him. That no matter how long they were married, the one thing he was so careful of was not to come up on her suddenly or drop things around her.

“Then he just gave me a long look and said, ‘I know your sister’s not around anymore but I’m here.’ I was mortified that this shattered person I had become was so obvious…was so easily seen by a stranger. He had me repeat his address back to him twice then he went on his way.”

She grabs two more beers from the fridge, handing me one. “A month later I was on his doorstep. The next day I was on my way West with his wife’s old car and you found me a couple days after that.”

Sitting back, I know we have a lot to cover, but one thing she mentioned bothers me. “I don’t know a lot about it but I think I heard it’s bad if you stop taking anti-depressants’ suddenly? You don’t seem to have any with you?”

“What? Oh, no! That was the other thing. I realized after we’d been married nearly a month that the pills I was taking were more than the prescribed amount; if it was even the actual prescription. Adam had been very solicitous and would run errands for us after the accident. I know he had something to do with that somehow, so I started taking less and less and had been off them for nearly six weeks before I left. I didn’t tell him of course.”

Tired of her pacing, I take her hand to gently pull her onto my lap. With my chin resting on her head I quietly tell her about my mom and what Chris did. After that, she starts to cry in earnest and I just hold her, secure in my arms until she falls asleep.

Silently I sit, thankful to the old man who offered her help when everyone turned a blind eye; but mostly I sit, thinking about how to make this Preacher’s daughter my woman. If she can accept the life I’ve led, the men I do lead, and move past that to make a life with me.

First things first, my Darlin’ needs to file for divorce. Not that I don’t intend to make her a widow, but she’ll be protected from scrutiny with papers filed.