Chapter 11

The rest of the night had been pretty mellow. Sean and Molly both did their best to act like what happened in the alley wasn’t completely messing with their minds. Both pretended everything was cool. Both feigned fatigue when normally neither of them would even be thinking about calling it a night. Both kept a minimum two feet of distance between them. Neither joked about the kiss that had nearly set them on fire.

Sean had called an Uber, and they’d ridden home at opposite sides of the little economy’s bench seat, Molly offering strained small talk before retreating to the sanctuary of her phone and then Sean following suit.

But Molly could practically feel that kiss dismantling the foundation between them, changing the terrain of their relationship. Or maybe she was just imagining the lingering tension in the air between them. The eye contact they didn’t break quite fast enough. The heat in that single extra glance back after they finally had. Maybe she was the only one who felt like something inside her had been twisting slowly into an agonized knot since they’d done the “right thing” and put a stop to the kiss that had felt more right than anything she could remember in her entire life.

She looked across the car at Sean, aching for some sign she wasn’t alone in this. Not that it would make things any easier or better…but a part of her had become dependent on Sean being with her in everything.

Sensing her eyes on him, he glanced up and gave her a tight smile before returning to his phone. Maybe it was better if they weren’t in this together. Because if Sean could be strong—well, she would have to be too.

The car stopped outside their building, and Molly headed up to the apartment, trying to ignore her awareness of Sean’s proximity. Trying to be cool. Failing.

Inside, Sean went to his room and closed the door. Molly only made it another three steps before stopping, completely at loose ends and irrationally wanting to turn around and rush back to him, because he was the one who made everything better.

But he’d just closed the door. So that was that.

She didn’t know how long she’d been standing there when she finally forced her feet to move. She went into her room and pulled out a pair of cutoff sweats and a clean tank to sleep in. But first a shower. Maybe she’d be able to wash away the feel of Sean’s hands on her.

Sean’s door was still closed, no sounds emanating from beyond it, when she headed to the bathroom. Probably for the best, considering she still wasn’t quite right in the head about the two of them. Rationally, she knew there was no way that kiss could ever be repeated. She knew what a bad idea it was to give in to this attraction even a little. But the part of her that wasn’t entirely rational still wanted more.

Turning on the tap, she stripped out of her T-shirt and skirt, leaving them in a little heap next to the radiator. Her fingers were on the front clasp of her bra when she heard Sean. His muttered curse was followed by a loud thud. There wasn’t time to question what it was before the bathroom door swung open and her breath rushed out in a whoosh.

Sean stood in the frame, his hands gripping either side as he raked a dark look over her. He was fully dressed, his breathing strained and ragged.

“Tell me to get the fuck out of here, Molly,” he bit out, his voice different than she’d ever heard it before, rough enough to scrape against her every straining sense and nerve.

She should. Of course, she should. And yet if someone had tried to pry the words past her lips, she wouldn’t have been able to give them up. Because that wasn’t what she wanted. Not when Sean was practically vibrating with a tension that matched her own, his body looking like it was a blink away from propelling itself into her space.

And then it happened.

Pushing off the frame, he reached over his head and grabbed a fistful of the back of his shirt, yanking it off. Moving into the small room, he caught her by the back of the neck and pulled her in to all that muscle and hot, bare skin. He kissed her hard, crushing her against him as her arms flew around his neck. They were beyond desperate, picking up where they’d left off in the alley and then catapulting past it in the next heartbeat.

A flick of his tongue, and that burning need low in her belly was reignited in a flash flame. The ache to have him inside her was almost unbearable.

Sean clutched her closer and kissed her harder, growling against her mouth. “I’m sorry, Moll.”

“Don’t be,” she panted in response, jerking at his belt and fly until his cargo shorts dropped and hit the floor with a clack that sounded like his phone might still have been in his pocket. “I’m not sorry.”

A tiny voice in the back of her head whispered, “Yet.”

His tongue swept through her mouth, setting off a needy pulse deep in her belly. So good. Too good. Sean’s hands tightened at the nape of her neck and over her ass, that borderline rough touch ratcheting the tension within her all the higher.

The hand at her rear shifted inward over her panties so it was splayed wide and covering both her cheeks, the curve of his fingers following the seam between her legs. Another deep kiss and sweep of his tongue, and he pulled her against the thick length of him.

Her mind briefly blanked as his steely pressure met the sweet spot of her sex. She still wore her panties, and he was covered by his boxer briefs, but the way he’d lifted her against him, letting her slide the few friction-filled inches down his hot length, had her closer to satisfaction than most of her past boyfriends had gotten her in a whole night. Sean lifted her again, and it was just right, making her breath catch and her inner walls spasm. And then again, and oh God, if he kept doing that, she was going to—

“Sean!” she gasped when sensation burst through her center on a crashing wave.

His head jerked back, eyes burning like coals as he studied her face. “Fuck, Molly.”

The hand he’d been using to guide her shifted, sliding back up over her ass in what she recognized as a retreat.

Her heart sank. No.

But it made sense that Sean would come to his senses and rein them back in before it was too late. Prevent things from going any further than they already had to minimize the damage.

He’d probably make a joke, something to lighten the mood and remind her of their friendship before he told her they had to stop. And she’d nod and laugh and agree, because she never forgot about their friendship. Which was why, even though what was about to happen would hurt, she wasn’t going to let it show.

Bracing for the rejection she didn’t want to hear, Molly bowed her head and waited.

It wasn’t going to be that simple though. Not with Sean. He caught her chin in the cradle of his warm palm, tipping her face to his. She could do this. Another breath, and she slowly lifted her eyes.

Those dark eyes staring back at her were hard, intense. Totally devoid of the gentle apology she’d expected to find in their depths. Even if she’d wanted to, she didn’t think she would have been able to break from the contact.

“There won’t be any coming back from this,” he warned, the quiet of his voice adding to the weight of the words.

She nodded, a shiver of anticipation spearing through her. “I know.” Then resting her hand against his heart, she asked for the clarification she knew they needed. “Just this once?”

The corner of his mouth hitched, blurring the lines between all the versions of Sean she knew. “Just this once.”

And then he was sliding into her panties from behind, those long fingers stroking through her wetness as he told her how fucking hot she was, how he was about to lose it, how he needed to feel her come again. His words spilled over her neck and down between her breasts, where he licked and kissed her before returning to her mouth with a growl that curled her toes. So sexy. So a side of Sean he’d never shared with her before.

Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her off her feet. Her legs locked around his hips, and it was like coming home. Like this was where she was meant to be.

It wasn’t. She was too smart and had known Sean too long to believe anything else. But tonight, everything she knew was shoved aside. Tonight, she just wanted to give in to the moment completely.

Her back met a bed, and she distantly registered that he’d brought her to his room. Then his mouth was covering the fuchsia cups of her bra, catching the bead of her nipple with his teeth and groaning with her when he gave it a little pull.

“Take it off,” she begged into the thick silk of his hair. The plastic clasp was in the front, and she gasped when he managed it with his mouth. “Whoa.”

One golden brow arched up at her. “Mad skills, Moll,” he offered, his voice thick.

She nodded, not certain she was still capable of speech. Sean was braced on one strong arm above her, his deep-brown eyes fixed on that inch of exposed skin between her breasts.

The cocky smile slipped from his lips as he gently, almost reverently peeled away the thin cup from her left breast and then her right. Sean’s breath washed over her skin in a rush as he cupped the small mound.

“Beautiful,” he managed hoarsely, his thumb brushing back and forth across the sensitive peak.

The frantic, grappling desperation that had been the driving force between them in those first minutes had quieted, giving way to something almost calm. Like maybe they’d each realized the other wasn’t going to back out, and they could just…take their time.

Threading her fingers through Sean’s hair, she whispered his name as he ran his tongue around her nipple and then kissed the very tip.

“I shouldn’t know how sweet you are.” He looked into her eyes. “I was never supposed to know.”

What could she say to that? They both seemed to understand what they were doing was a mistake, but for whatever reason, neither could stop. “Now you do.”

“Not quite. Not the way I need to.” His nostrils flared. “But I will.”

He backed off the bed and went to the drawer where he left his watch and wallet each night and, apparently, kept his condoms.

Just the sight of Sean holding that foil packet was making her squirm.

This was happening.

Pushing up on her elbows, Molly shrugged free of her bra and scooted to the edge of the bed, where she hooked a finger into the side of Sean’s boxer briefs and tugged him to stand between her knees.

“You look really good in these,” she said quietly, letting her palms smooth over the sides, down the leg to where they ended, but not quite mustering the courage to venture to the front where the fabric strained against the swell of him. He looked big.

Tossing the condom to the bed, Sean took her hands in his, moving them to the place she’d been too intimidated to touch. Her hand curved around him, molding to his shape as she eased up and down the length that seemed to grow more with her every stroke.

“I never let myself think about what it would be like to have your hands on me,” he confided, his fingers sifting through her hair before moving lower. “But now that I know, I’m afraid I’ll never be able to stop.”

Molly peered up at him as he leaned closer. But instead of kissing her the way she expected, he caught her by the backs of her knees and tugged.

“Sean!” she squeaked, her back hitting the bed.

“Panties,” he growled, hooking his fingers into the waistband and pulling them off.

She was naked. With the light on. In front of Sean. And not just artfully bare, like some tasteful nude in a gallery. She was brazenly exposed, her thighs spread to Sean’s urging touch.

Dropping to his knees, he stared at her sex like a starving man. Then, eyes flicking up to hers, he gave her a peek at that half smile again. “You remember all the times you told me to bite you?”

Her eyes went wide as he leaned into the space he’d made for himself. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I would,” he assured. “I will.”

And then he was kissing her there, making love to her with his mouth, slow and sweet. Running his tongue through all that wetness before dipping inside and tipping her world off its axis.

Dropping a kiss against the spread of her sex, he looked up at her. “Do you have any idea what it did to me, hearing you come?” Easing a finger inside her, he thrust slowly. “I’d barely touched you, and you were falling apart in my arms. Is it always like that with you?”

“No,” she answered, the single word unsteady but true. Because while she was not a virgin, getting off had never been an easy feat. She’d been with guys she was really into, guys she’d been less into but who had been built or beautiful or talked a big game about everything they were going to do to her and how much she was going to like it. She’d tried to be polite, putting on a good show so their egos didn’t have to take the hit when she couldn’t get past lukewarm—and most of the time, she couldn’t. But tonight, with Sean, she’d come less than ten minutes before, and already her body was winding tight again, the heat in her center ready to boil over and spill through every part of her.

Her inner walls clenched around him, and he raised a brow as he lowered his mouth to her again. “No?”

“Aghh,” she cried out as the sensation intensified. “Only with you.”

Sean’s eyes met hers again, the amusement and teasing gone. “You can’t say that to me, Molly.” Adding a second finger to the first, he stroked in and out. “It makes me want things I shouldn’t have.” Then curling them, he hit the spot that until that very moment she hadn’t totally believed existed. “It makes me want to take all your ‘only with yous.’”

Just imagining what that would be like had her fingers digging into the comforter and her back arching hard.

“You like that, Molly?” he asked with another beckoning stroke.

“Yes,” she panted, her hips lifting to meet him. “Oh God, yes.”

“So fucking hot, Moll.” Another stroke, and she was there, her body seizing around his thrusting touch, her head thrown back as she shattered.

Sean leaned over her, kissing her hot and deep, giving her a taste of her own pleasure as he moved them back up the bed and reached for the condom.

“Last chance, Molly,” he said, restraint tightening his features as he searched her eyes.

Sliding her heel up the back of his thigh, she asked, “Trying to back out?”

But she knew that wasn’t it. He was trying to make sure they didn’t regret this night any more than they had to.

Sean’s mouth met hers in another soul-shattering kiss, and then he was pushing inside her, stretching her as, inch by inch, he took her deeper, filled her more, until finally, she had him all.

Her breath left on a shuddering gasp as emotion and sensation tangled together, overwhelming her. Everything she’d wanted was, in that minute, hers.

“Molly, look at me,” he urged, bracing on his elbows so his hands could cup her face. “It’s just us. You and me.”

She nodded, tears pricking her eyes. “It’s just…so much.”

She knew he understood what she was saying, could see it in his eyes. They were connected in a way they never had been before. It was powerfully overwhelming, in the very best way.

“I know, Moll.” And then because he was Sean and he always knew exactly what she needed, he added, “I’m a big guy.”

She laughed, which made him laugh too, which was really weird considering the way they were connected but was also the most perfect thing that could have happened. She touched his cheek and sighed. “Only you.”

The corner of his mouth pulled up, his eyes going tender as he started to move. “Don’t forget it.”

“Never.”

* * *

Just once.

That’s what they’d said. What Molly had said. So it wasn’t even like Sean could pretend she’d been agreeing with him just to be cool. She’d brought it up. She’d said it first. And like the total fuckwit he was, he’d thought she couldn’t be any more perfect, because once was supposed to be enough to scratch the itch.

But now Sean was breathing in the sweet, sexy coconut smell of her neck, the five seconds he’d allotted himself to collapse on top of her well past expired already. He needed to get up. He needed to deal with the rubber. He needed to figure out how to stop thinking of Molly in terms of how insanely hot it was being inside her…how wet her kisses were…what she tasted like.

He needed to stop thinking about what it had been like making her come for him four times.

“Mmm,” she moaned from beneath him, still doing that thing with his hair that he was also going to have to stop thinking about, because friends didn’t run their fingers through each other’s hair, and friends definitely didn’t get hard thinking about how fucking good it felt either.

How was he going to come back from this?

Start by getting off the girl, numbnuts.

It was time, much as he wished it wasn’t. Because this thing with Molly…was just a thing with Molly. It wasn’t their first step toward forever.

And it wasn’t like he and Molly could just date and see where it went. For one, it was Molly, his go-to girl for everything short of, well, this. He couldn’t risk what would happen if things didn’t work out. He couldn’t risk hurting her.

Which meant it was time.

Reluctantly, he started to push up on his arms, making it less than an inch before Molly moaned in protest, wrapping her arms and legs around him tighter.

“Just one more minute?” she murmured with a contented purr when he gave her back his weight. “You just feel so good like this.”

“I’m not squishing the life out of you or cutting off your air supply?” He checked, burrowing his face into her neck, because apparently it was okay.

“No.” Her breath washed over his ear, soft and warm. “Feels good.”

Yeah, it did. Especially when she started sliding one knee up and down at his side. It felt good everywhere, silky soft, but especially where he was still buried inside her. He was already getting hard again. He definitely needed to get out of her. Get rid of this cond—

“Mmm, Sean,” she half moaned, her blue eyes startled as they met his. “Are you…already?”

The tip of her tongue touched her bottom lip, and his cock swelled even more, triggering her lips parting on one of those tiny gasps that hit him like a wrecking ball.

“We said just once.” Okay, and maybe things would have gone differently from there if he hadn’t rocked his hips into her…while licking the lobe of her ear before sucking it between his teeth.

“I won’t tell…if you… Sean!” she cried out, her inner walls grasping at him like hungry hands.

Two thrusts, and she was sucking on his tongue while he took his fill of those insane legs of hers.

So fucking good.

So fucking hot.

So fucking perfect—

“Jesus!” he choked, pulling out before another second passed and, from the looks of it, not a second too soon. “New condom, baby—Molly,” he promised, backing off the bed in record time to change out the equipment. Heart slamming, he shook his head.

What the fuck, man?

That was the closest he’d ever come to flaking on the safe part of sex. And it had happened with Molly. Who he cared about more than any other woman he’d ever been with. It was inexcusable and—

“Sean?”

He looked back, ready to beg forgiveness, when instead, that racing heart skidded to a stop.

Because the way Molly was looking at him—holy fuck. He’d never seen anything so sexy in his life. Those smooth, long legs shifted restlessly together as one hand stroked lightly across her breast and the other played with the pink ends of her hair. She bit softly into her bottom lip, pulling it through the clasp of her teeth before whispering, “Hurry.”

His breath hissed out, that last word tightening every damn inch of his body, flipping switches he didn’t even realize he had. She was killing him, and he never wanted her to stop.

Turning back to her, he rolled the condom on, and catching the flare of interest in her eyes as she watched, he gripped himself, running up and down his length a couple of times just to see how she would react.

“So hot,” she whispered, that hand playing at her chest teasing lower, coasting past her belly until—

“Show me, Molly,” he gritted out through clenched teeth, and when she did, parting her knees for him as she slipped her fingers down to where she was glossy and slick because of him, he groaned, “Fuck.”

And then he was back on top of her, pushing her already-spread legs wider with his knees and pinning her wrists above her head. She took him full length in one long stroke that ended with their mingled moans, their eyes locked, and smiles on their lips.

Just once…more.