Chapter 21

It used to be that Wednesdays were the nights Molly looked forward to all week. Whether she was working or not, she’d be able to see all the people she loved most, gathered together in her favorite place. But here she was, two weeks since she and Sean had ended their relationship, and her stomach was roiling over the evening ahead.

Last week, she’d had a reprieve when Sean was called out of town again. But now he was back. He’d even texted on Monday to let her know he’d be there. So for days, she’d been making herself sick, anticipating what it would be like to sit across from him and know that thing between them was broken. That he wouldn’t be shooting her the smiles meant just for her, that it wouldn’t be a matter of time until he found a way to get her alone, to back her up against some wall and—

She cleared her throat and tried to hide beneath a bar menu she’d memorized before it went to print, hoping that no one showed up until she’d fought back the stupid tears that seemed to reside only a single thought away these days.

Not surprisingly, Brody showed up first, dropping into the seat at her right. He was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved charcoal-gray T-shirt that looked like it was at max capacity handling the brawn beneath. One wrist was sporting a wide leather bracelet and the other a watch that probably cost more than what she made in a year. His hair was pulled back in a tie she’d bet he put in and took out six times over the course of the day.

“How’s it going, boss man?” she asked, going for the kind of casual and easy she hadn’t felt in any part of her life since before she and Sean said goodbye.

“Not bad, Moll. Lucky for you Jill didn’t want to give up that shift tonight. New bartender had some kind of bug, showed up, and hurked—like, full-on projectile—five minutes after walking in the door. Jill was scrambling for an hour to get someone to fill in.”

Her hopes soared. “Are you short? You know I can cover the bar.” Maybe she wouldn’t have to just sit there all night. At least she wouldn’t be stuck sitting five feet away from the lap she desperately missed crawling into.

“Nah, she’s got it covered. Besides, you look like you could use a break.”

“Good to know it shows,” she said with a laugh. “Wonder if I’ve got some mild version of what the new guy has.” Whether the persistent stomach upset was viral or not, she’d be able to use it as an excuse to cut out early. Not that she’d catch up on any rest even if she did. She was exhausted all the time, but no matter when she went to bed, all she did was toss and turn, thinking about Sean and what it had been like for a little while. What it had been like at the end, when she’d told him it was over and he’d sat there looking completely impassive. No denial. No demand. Just nodding along until finally, there had been nothing more to say and he’d left.

Shoot. She didn’t want to start crying again, especially with Em and Jase and Sarah and Max all headed toward the table.

Sarah’s brows pulled together as she neatly tucked herself into the chair between Brody and Max. “Molly, you okay?”

Brody had a hand up, signaling Jill to come over. “Bug going around. Don’t let her share your beer.”

Sarah frowned at her. “Again?”

She could have kissed Brody right then, but since the guy had been warning everyone off an exchange of germs, she figured better not to.

They were all laughing and joking around when Sean showed up a half hour later. Molly knew the second he walked through the door. She could feel the pressure change in the room around them. That queasy sort of nervous tension accumulating deep in her belly.

Their eyes met from across the bar, and he stopped. Just stood there for a second like maybe he wasn’t going to stay.

That pause nearly killed her. Because this was Sean. Her Sean. And after almost two weeks of not seeing each other, instead of running up to him for the giant bear hug that she’d always considered her due, she sat glued to her chair, willing her eyes away from the clean lines of his chiseled face and that half-cocked smile she knew wasn’t coming.

“Hey, guys,” he said, settling into the open chair across the table.

The way his eyes drifted past her without stopping had her stomach kicking up another revolt. Pressing a hand to it, she looked away, blowing a slow breath through her nose.

She could get through this.

In time, maybe she’d even be able to look at Sean without thinking about how close she’d been to having him forever. Without wondering how very bad it would have been to pretend she didn’t know what being with her might cost him.

No. She never could have done that to him. And the very fact that Sean hadn’t put up more than a cursory argument when she’d told him it was over was all the evidence she needed to confirm she’d done the right thing. No matter how much it hurt.

When Molly had it together, she returned her attention to the table and found Emily drumming her fingers, watching her intently. Oh no. She knew that look.

“Enough’s enough, Molly. Who’s the guy?”

Max’s face lit up. “You dating someone, Little Sis?”

She was going to have to tell them something. But right then, all she could think was that she could feel Sean’s eyes on her, waiting for her answer.

Time to tug up the big-girl panties.

“No guy. Not anymore,” she answered as casually as she could manage. Molly reached for the beer Jill had brought over and then, on second thought, put it back.

“It’s over already?” Sarah asked, her pretty smile melting into a pout. “That stinks.”

Emily was nodding in agreement, but she wasn’t through. “So what happened? Two weeks ago, you thought this might be the one.”

Molly was shaking her head, that sick feeling growing by the minute as heat spilled into her cheeks. From the corner of her eye, she could see Sean leaning forward in his chair.

“No. That’s not what I meant,” she lied, wondering why she hadn’t just kept her mouth shut.

Emily sighed, her eyes filling with compassion. “You were all breathless and whispery, like you could barely keep from telling us his name. Molly, you were so excited. What happened?”

“Yeah, Molly,” came the voice she couldn’t stop remembering, midnight gruff at her ear. “What happened?”

She turned, meeting Sean’s dark stare. Her walls were starting to crumble. This was too much.

Finally, she managed the truth. “We were just too different.”

“Jesus, Molly,” Brody muttered from beside her, but he was looking at Sean. Of course he knew.

Max grunted. “Sounds like a douche. Fuck ’em, Moll. You can do better.”

She smiled, knowing her brother was just trying to be on her side. But she couldn’t let it go. “Nah, he’s a good guy. I want him to be happy, and I’m really hoping we can stay friends.”

This was where Sean was supposed to assure her they would. Where he gave her the smile the two of them—and maybe Brody—would understand. But when she met his eyes, all she found was that same closed-off stare from two weeks ago. No words. No smile.

Nothing.

She was going to lose it. Jumping off her stool, she started cutting around Brody. “Give me a minute, guys, I’m not—”

Her stomach lurched, and the edges of her vision went dim.

“Whoa, Molly,” Jase said, jumping up from where he’d been sitting at her other side. His big hand caught her beneath the elbow, the other circling around her back. “You okay? Looked like you were going down. Here, sit a sec.”

Sean was standing now, a deep furrow between his brows as he watched her. “Molly?”

Brody caught a passing server and grabbed a water off her tray. “Drink some.”

“I’m fine,” she grumbled, taking a small sip. “I just… I think I’ve been fighting a bug, and it’s starting to get the upper hand.”

“Fighting for how long? Because you’ve been kind of pukey for the past few weeks.” Sarah’s brows furrowed, and she looked as if she might be counting on her fingers before adding quietly, “Maybe even longer.”

It was the counting that snared her attention, made Molly’s throat go Sahara dry as she ticked off weekends in her mind.

Too many weekends, only that couldn’t be it. Her heart started to race. No way was that it. She missed months all the time. Had from as far back as she could remember. It’s why she never bothered keeping track. Only this time…

All the clues had been there: the relentless fatigue, the tears, the loss of appetite, the achiness she’d thought meant her period was finally coming…and then figured was stress or a bug when it didn’t. But for every obvious sign, there’d been another equally compelling explanation: a broken heart.

She looked across the table at where Sean had gone deadly still.

“Oh my God, Molly.” Emily’s eyes went wide, her palms flattening over the table as she leaned in, the action pulling along the rest of their friends at the table as well. “Could you… I mean, is it possible you might be pregnant?”

The reactions around the table ran the gamut.

Max shot back in his chair with a dismissive grunt. “Fuck, Emily, come on.”

Jase raised a brow, looking from Molly to his wife and then back again.

Sarah’s eyes bugged as she took in Molly’s face and then turned to her husband, resting a hand gently on his arm.

Brody muttered a quiet “fuck,” running a wide hand down his face.

But it was Sean who Molly couldn’t look away from, the way his head came up in slow motion, his eyes demanding answers to a question she hadn’t even considered until only seconds before.

She opened her mouth to tell him, No. Not to worry. That they’d been careful, but they both knew they hadn’t been quite as careful as they could have. Sure, he’d always finished with a condom, but they’d almost never started that way. Which meant it most definitely was possible.

And that’s the moment the queasiness took it to the next level.

Molly pushed back from the table and darted to the bathroom, barely making it in time.

The door opened behind her, and then strong hands were there helping her to her feet as the only voice that mattered sounded at her ear.

“Come here, Molly,” Sean said, pulling her against his chest and wrapping his arms around her. “I’ve got you.”

Tears rushed past her lids as the reality of it hit her.

It couldn’t be.

Pushing back from his arms, she wiped her face and walked over to the sink to rinse her mouth. Meeting Sean’s eyes in the mirror, she gave him a watery smile. “We don’t know anything yet.”

The look he gave her suggested otherwise. “How long?”

Long enough that she should have thought about it. “Since before we went camping.”

He blinked, those deep-brown eyes dropping to her belly as he nodded, no doubt remembering the same things she was. How reckless they’d been, and not just that first time.

She was always so careful. About everything, especially sex. But with Sean, she’d just felt so safe. So right. So caught up and carried away. And when she should have cared enough about him—about herself and her plans, God, his plans—to just stop and think, she hadn’t thought at all.

“Sean,” Molly whispered, her voice breaking. “What are we… How are we…?”

“Together, like always. Whatever the results, whatever you decide…I’ll be there,” he answered, meeting her eyes with the kind of conviction powerful enough that for one perfect second, she actually believed.

The bathroom door flew open, and she jumped, instinctively stepping away from Sean as Max stalked in. “Who the fuck is the guy?” he demanded. “Jesus Christ, Molly, I didn’t even know you were dating.”

Sean straightened, and Molly sent him a pleading look. She wasn’t ready to see him laid out on the ladies’ room floor by her brother.

Max turned to Sean. “Did you know?”

“Yeah,” he said, looking Max in the eye. “I—”

“Max,” Molly cut in, desperately pulling at his sleeve as she ducked into his line of sight. “I’m sorry I didn’t want to tell you. It was new, and I was nervous…and then we broke up.”

Sean’s hand landed on Max’s shoulder, bringing his attention back around. This wasn’t good. “Look, Max, I need you to give Molly and me a couple minutes. I know you want answers, and you’ll get them, but just let me talk to her first. Then I’ll talk to you.”

She closed her eyes as another layer of guilt landed squarely on her shoulders. Sean hated to lie—to anyone—but for her, he’d done it. Now the truth was coming out, and her refusal to let Sean be honest with Max was going to seriously damage their friendship.

“You’ll talk to me?” Max rubbed the back of his head and let out a humorless laugh. “Okay, I see where this is going. But take it easy, Sean. The girls aren’t even back from the place on the corner with the pee-stick thing.”

Molly nodded. “Okay, but umm, maybe we should take it out of the ladies’ room for now. In case any customers need to use it. Sean, could you let me talk to my brother a minute in Brody’s office?”

Both guys seemed to register that they were in the ladies’ room for the first time and followed her out to the hall. But when Molly and a bristling Max started for the office, Sean kept pace. She stopped at the door, meeting the intensity of his eyes. She could see Sean was already at his limit and didn’t want to risk what might happen if he were the one to tell Max about them. Her brother needed to understand why his best friend hadn’t been straight with him from the start—that it had been because of her—before he went ballistic. “Sean, please.”

Max shouldered past, too spun up to register the silent exchange happening between them. “Sean, I get that you two have probably cooked up some sort of secret pact about this shit, but this is Molly’s fuckup and— Jesus, man?” he demanded as Sean grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shoved him into Brody’s office.

“This is no one’s fuckup,” Sean grated out, vibrating with anger. “Do you understand me?”

So much for wanting to explain. Turned out that having Sean get in his face was all the explanation Max needed. That sharp intellect of his kicked back in, and his cold gray stare narrowed, threatening like a storm. “No. No way you did this. To. My. Little. Sister!”

Molly tried to get between them, but in the blink of an eye, they’d taken it to the floor. One man rolled on top of the other and then back again, fists flying as she begged them to stop.

The door burst open, and Brody came plowing in with Jase on his heels. Within seconds, they had the men separated. Brody stood between them at the ready, but it was clear they were done.

“Molly, you okay?” Brody asked, and all eyes landed on her.

“I’m fine,” she promised, looking from Max to Sean. Needing each to hear her. To believe it.

“The girls are waiting for you in the ladies’ room. They’ve got a test, if you want to take it.”

* * *

Minutes later, it was official.

“So I guess maybe you didn’t want to get out of Sean’s tent after all?” Emily murmured as she, Sarah, and Molly all stared at the test window reading “Pregnant.”

Molly laughed quietly as more tears spilled down her cheeks.

She was going to be a mother. And Sean was going to be a father.

Sarah was shaking her head, her concern split between Molly and her husband, who, according to Jill, would be good as new after ten minutes with a bag of ice on his eye.

“So Sean was the guy you thought might be the one?” she asked gently.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys. I wanted to. I was just…”

“Don’t worry about any of that.” Emily sighed. “We always thought that maybe… I mean, there was always something a little deeper with you two. And after the weekends away at the same time… But then you were back and he wasn’t.”

“And you seemed so upset,” Sarah added, leaning in. “I don’t think either of us believed if you guys ever got together, it wouldn’t last. So we assumed we’d been wrong the whole time. Chalking it up to wishful thinking, you know?”

Wishful thinking. Nodding tightly, Molly fought back another bout of tears. Yes, she knew exactly.

“It shouldn’t have happened. Neither one of us was thinking clearly.” Molly covered her face with her hands and whispered the truth she couldn’t deny. “I was so stupid.”

“What? No way,” Emily countered firmly. “You were following your heart, and no one’s going to judge you.”

Molly peeked between her fingers, catching Sarah’s raised brow and twitching lip. They started to laugh, really laugh, because that just wasn’t true.

Emily’s head dropped forward, and she held up her hands. “Okay, Max will.”

Sarah bit her lip. “But that said, if you want to talk about it, we’re here.”

Molly nodded. “I will. I want to. But right now, I need to talk to Sean. And probably Max too.”

Sarah started toward the door but stopped before opening it. “Molly, I know what a big part of your life Max is. He loves you like crazy and only wants to make things better, but sometimes he forgets you aren’t his responsibility anymore. It’s okay to remind him. This… What you’re dealing with tonight? It isn’t really about Max. It’s about you and Sean. So that’s what you focus on. I’ll take care of Max, and you can talk to him tomorrow.”

Molly pulled Sarah in for a tight hug, trying to blink past the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. “Thanks, Sarah,” she whispered, thinking for the millionth time how lucky she was to have her for a sister-in-law.

* * *

“How the fuck long do those things take?” Max demanded, pushing up from the couch, only to have Jase plant a hand on his shoulder and push him back down.

Just as well. There was only room for one of them to be pacing, and all things considered, Sean considered it his due.

“One minute,” Jase replied with the kind of certainty that had all of them turning his way. “I only know because I got the tests, just in case Emily decided she was ready to try. The front of the box says the results are ready in one minute.”

“It’s been ten,” Max groused, returning the bag of ice to the side of his face and shooting Sean a scowl as he passed.

It had been twelve and a half minutes. Not that it mattered. Molly would come talk to him when she was ready. But the very fact that she hadn’t already rushed in and collapsed on the couch in relief or sent some emissary to report the false alarm was telling enough.

A baby.

He rubbed at the spot at the center of his chest that felt like it was bursting and breaking all at once.

Two weeks ago, the news that Molly was pregnant would have been the best he’d ever gotten. But now, damn it, why couldn’t things be different? Why didn’t Molly want him?

Except, he knew why.

From his spot on the couch, Max pointed a finger at him. “I don’t care how this started. What you thought you were getting into. You’re going to marry her,” Max stated flatly. As if it were as simple as that. As if it hadn’t been Sean’s first thought.

As if it weren’t everything he wanted.

Max rubbed his hand over his face and winced.

Sean would feel bad about that bruise later, but for now, it served the asshole right for starting it.

Letting out a frustrated breath, he met Max’s stare. “I couldn’t even convince her to let me tell you we were together.” He hadn’t even been able to convince her to keep dating him.

Brody looked over from where the bear of a guy was holding up the wall. “Like together together? Not just a thing?”

“Together together.” He still couldn’t believe he’d thought for even a single minute that he could live with anything less than Molly’s forever. But then he couldn’t believe he’d managed to ignore what she meant to him for more than a decade either.

“She didn’t want you to tell me what?” Max demanded. “This is the time to start talking. You’re my best friend.”

Throwing his hand out to the side, he fired back, “And she’s mine! What do you want me to tell you, Max? That I thought this was a forever thing, that I wanted her like I’ve never wanted anyone in my life? That I’m fucking in love with her, but she doesn’t want to be with me?” His breath was ripping though his lungs. “That even standing here knowing I’m about to have the best news of my life confirmed, something I hoped for but thought I’d never have, I still feel like I’ve lost everything?”

The room around him went silent, the three guys he loved like brothers staring at him without a clue of what to say.

Finally, Max pushed off the couch and walked over. Clapping him on the back, he bowed his head. “It’s going to be okay, man.”

Jase and Brody echoed the sentiments, and Sean let out a heavy breath. “Sorry about your face, Max.”

Wincing again, Max nodded. “I get it. Now I get it. And hell, you know how I am about Molly. But I should have known I didn’t need to be that way with you about her.”

The office door creaked open, and Molly stood in the doorway. Her eyes and nose were red, but it looked like she’d stopped crying.

Brody went to the door and ushered her in before directing Jase and Max to follow him out.

When they were alone, Sean crossed to Molly and pulled her in to his chest. It didn’t matter that they’d barely spoken in weeks or that she was breaking his heart. She was Molly and he was Sean, and when the chips were down, they were there for each other.

She buried her face against his chest, and her shoulders quaked as she gave in to the tears.

Gathering her closer, he brought her over to the couch and pulled her into his lap. For a perfect moment, she rested her head against his chest, and he could almost pretend everything was going to be fine. That he was holding the woman he loved and the smallest spark of life they’d created between them. That he’d never have to let them go.

“I know you. I know you want to do the ‘right thing,’” she whispered, her voice shaky. Fragile. Her fingers tucked into the gap between the buttons of his shirt. “But trust me on this, Sean. Letting you marry me because I’m pregnant wouldn’t be it.”

Letting him. Christ.

Did she have any idea how much it tore him up to hear that?

“All I want is for you to be happy, Moll. To know you aren’t alone. That I’ll be here to support you in every way.” Even if it was killing him to know he couldn’t make her happy the way he wanted to…with them together. How could he blame her? He understood.

Molly sniffed, pressing herself closer to him. As if on some level, she still felt like that’s where she wanted to be.

Maybe there really was a chance for them to be friends again. Not like they had been before, where the boundaries were so few and far between, it had been all but inevitable they’d stumble past them at some point. But still good friends with a shared life between them, who could be a comfort to each other from time to time.

“Sean, I can take care of myself,” she said gently. Then, after a pause, “And our baby.”

Tears blurred his eyes. It was real now. Our baby.

Easing one hand between them, he covered the flat of her belly with his hand. It would be so small. So precious. Maybe even a little girl.

He cleared his throat. “I know you can, but you’ll never have to.” He should have stopped there, but then all he could think about was the way she’d been looking at him that last morning in the hotel. That look couldn’t be faked. “Molly, we could make it work. If you—”

Molly stiffened, then began to extract herself from his hold. “Sean,” she warned, getting to her feet. “Don’t.”

He stood too. Reached for her, but she turned away. “I can make you happy, Molly.”

She spun back, tears flooding past her lashes. “You can’t!”

“Since when?” he challenged, taking a deliberate step into her space and then another. She didn’t move, didn’t wipe at her tears or tell him to stop or back away. Those tragic pools of blue just watched as he reached for her, as he brushed a bit of silky blond from her brow and then curved his fingers around the back of her neck. “Since when haven’t I been able to make you feel good, Molly?”

He ducked his head, catching her with the kiss he hadn’t tried to hide, the kiss she’d seen coming but hadn’t stopped. Their lips touched, and for one gut-wrenching moment, Molly tensed. Every muscle in her body on lockdown. Even her breath refusing to budge.

This wasn’t how it was between them. From the first kiss, contact alone had been enough to spark an inferno. How could everything have changed within one damn night?

Only then he felt it, that warm rush of breath against his lips and the slow clutch of her fingers into his shirt as she pressed herself closer. It was the invitation he hadn’t waited for, the one he wouldn’t ignore. He kissed her hard, needing her to feel how badly he wanted her. How much he missed her. How wrong it was that they were apart.

One hand was fisted in that silky short shag, the other running the length of her back, kneading the firm muscles of her ass.

He couldn’t let her go, couldn’t get enough.

She moaned around the thrust of his tongue, winding her fingers into his hair that way he loved, even though it always made him look like he’d just been pulled out of the dryer. So good.

He was seducing her right there, taking advantage of every weak spot and sensual vulnerability she had. It wasn’t the right time, the right place. But if he didn’t stop, maybe she wouldn’t either. Maybe if she just let him love her—

“Sean, what are you doing?” she gasped when his mouth found that sweet spot beneath her ear.

Simple. “Reminding you how good I can make you feel.”

She pushed him away, heartbreak he couldn’t understand in her eyes. Heartbreak that mirrored his own. “How good you make me feel has never been the problem.”

Shaking his head, he leaned in to her. “I know there are elements about my life you don’t want to be a part of. I understand. But we could work around it, Molly. If there was even a chance you thought I could make you happy…we could find a way. If it meant I could—”

Fresh tears filled her eyes, and quietly, she answered, “I can’t spend the rest of my life being grateful to you for sacrificing yours.”

The answer stunned him. Because that answer…wasn’t about Molly not wanting to put up with the politics of his life. That answer was about something else altogether.

“Is that what you think I would be doing?” he asked carefully.

Tears were streaming down her face, each new path slicing through his heart.

“I know you, Sean. I’ve known you for almost half of my life and, long term, I won’t be able to give you what you need.”

“I need you.”

“Right now, you think you do, but if you take a step back, give yourself some perspective…you’ll see I am right.” Her eyes lowered to where she was wringing her hands in front of her. “I was there, Sean. Available, for years. But in all that time, you never looked at me and saw the kind of woman you wanted for your future. There was a reason for that.”

“Because I was an idiot,” he shot back.

“Because you were realistic. You were waiting for someone I could never be. Someone like Valerie.” She turned away. “Someone who understands the social intricacies of your world. Someone with the sophistication, education, and poise to be an asset to you.”

An asset? Social intricacies?

There was no way… She wouldn’t have. Only in that moment, he knew. She had.

“My mother came to see you.”

Molly walked across the office, stopping at the chair in front of Brody’s desk. “I’d already started to figure it out on my own. She just clarified a few of the finer points.”

Drawing on every reserve of calm he could muster, he took a deep breath and met her eyes. “Figured what out, Moll?”

“That I’ll never belong in your world.”

His jaw clenched, and it took everything he had to keep his voice level as he asked the only question that mattered. “Because you wouldn’t be happy there?”

She shook her head, rubbing her arms. “Because neither one of us would be. Sean, being with me would cost you in ways I couldn’t live with. It would impact the parts of your life that, up until now, you have never invited me into. It has already.”

“Molly, that’s nuts,” he coughed out, frustration building fast. “What are you even talking about?”

“Adelynn Wakefield and your business relationship with her husband.”

The Wakefield name alone was enough to have his fists clenching.

Molly blinked, looking away. “You don’t need to protect me, Sean.”

“The hell I don’t,” he challenged, wondering how she could not understand. “I love you.”

“I know you do. You have since I was fifteen. Which is why I know you would do anything, say anything to make things right for me. Like bribe student housing to look the other way about me living in your dorm. Fly back from Italy to come rescue me in Texas when that jerk dumped me on vacation there. Move into my apartment so I could unload a roommate who wasn’t paying his way. End a successful working relationship with a long-time business partner because his wife insulted me.” She sighed, shaking her head. “Or just refuse to see reason on this because now I’m pregnant, which adds a whole new level of obligation to the mix.”

She was so fucking wrong, it made him sick. Made him angry all over again.

“Molly, you aren’t seeing this clearly.”

Wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve, she shook her head. “I think I am.”