Chapter 14

Molly walked back to the site in a daze.

She couldn’t believe what he’d said. He wanted her.

Maybe it was true. Fine, she knew it was…for now. Temporarily. But the future Sean’s parents had outlined for him, the one he’d been working for all these years, didn’t include her.

What was she supposed to do with that? She wanted Sean. She’d always wanted him…but to set herself up for heartbreak like this? She couldn’t do it.

She’d be insane to even think about it.

“Molly, you’ve got to try this,” Sarah called from beside the table where cocktails were set out in tall, narrow glasses with a pitcher beside them for refills. After the bomb Sean had just dropped, one of Brody’s concoctions was just what the doctor ordered.

She wondered if anyone would notice if she just took the pitcher and skipped the glass.

Sarah stirred through her ice with her straw and took a long pull.

“Whoa, you may want to go easy on those, Sarah,” Molly offered with a laugh. “Brody’s drinks are known for their punch.”

Sarah’s eyes gleamed as she nodded, taking the straw out of her drink and pointing it at Molly. “I am aware. In fact, I’m banking on it to help me get through.”

At Molly’s curious look, Sarah went on, waving her hand around as though whatever she was about to reveal was no big deal, but something in her eyes said it was. “I have a little thing about bugs where I’m sleeping. They don’t bother me when I’m up. Sitting out here around the campfire? No big deal. It’s when I have my guard down. When I’m sleeping. I don’t like being vulnerable to them.”

Molly set her drink back on the table and pulled Sarah in for a tight hug. She couldn’t tell her about what had happened with Sean. Heck, she didn’t even know what had just happened with Sean. But she could share what happened before. “You do not know how much better I feel hearing that. I just made a complete scene because of my hang-up about guys’ showers.”

Sarah’s face scrunched up. “Like Max’s shower?”

Molly shook her head and looped her arm through Sarah’s, recapping what had happened up at the shed and why she couldn’t get past the whole public shower thing. Sean was back by the time she finished her story, and Sarah couldn’t stop laughing as she stumbled over to her husband and laid into him for being the worst big brother of all time.

That wasn’t true. Max was probably the best big brother on the books. But he was still a big brother, and Molly didn’t know one who could resist the lure of tormenting a little sister from time to time. Besides, what goes around comes around, and while she’d never given him any real trouble, she’d made sure he paid in the little ways little sisters knew best.

Sean climbed out of the tent. He’d changed into a long-sleeved fitted shirt and a pair of jeans. He straightened and started walking toward them, his eyes landing on hers as he scrubbed the top of his head a few times, leaving his hair in a wild state of damp disarray.

Geez, he knew exactly what he was doing. Pushing buttons she probably should’ve known better than to reveal to him.

They needed to talk, but she’d been too chicken to stay and finish what he’d started up at the showers. She hadn’t seen it coming, wasn’t prepared, and had run off before clearing the air between them. And now she was looking at serving out the rest of her night surrounded by an audience she wasn’t ready to share her drama with.

Sean dropped into the chair Sarah had just vacated. Leaning over, he pulled Molly’s chair closer. Her eyes cut to his, a warning he wouldn’t miss in them.

The corner of his mouth hitched up, and he stretched an arm over the back of her shoulders, casual as can be.

“We need to talk, Sean.”

“We were talking. You ran off.”

She nodded, letting out a slow breath. “You’re lucky I did, with Max right there.”

His eyes twinkled with mischief. “True. I definitely wasn’t thinking about your brother.”

Molly turned in her seat, taking a closer look at the man beside her. He looked utterly delighted. And something about that hitched-up smile pulled at hers too. “Just what are you grinning at?”

He leaned closer, dropping his voice to barely above a whisper. “Thinking about all the things I’m going to do to you tonight. About your hands in my hair and how I’m going to keep you quiet when you’re panting my name.”

Molly gulped, her body getting on board all too easily with Sean’s plans. His completely presumptuous, totally flawed plans that absolutely were not going to pan out.

“What’s gotten into you?”

Sean laughed, giving her a look like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. “You have.”

When she couldn’t do more than stare, he stretched back in his chair, looking up at the evening sky before he stood. Taking Molly’s glass from her hand, he rattled the ice. “Get you another one?”

Her eyes bugged. She’d sucked down the whole thing without even realizing it. Molly shook her head. “Just bring me the pitcher.”

Sean spent the rest of the night sitting too close, touching her at every opportunity, and repeatedly violating her personal space to whisper one outrageous thing after another in her ear. By the time Brody’s Friday night feast had been devoured and the dishes all cleaned, not only were Molly’s cheeks blazing, but all those dirty suggestions had more than warmed up the rest of her as well.

She’d asked him what had gotten into him, and he’d told her she had.

It was exactly the kind of thing she had dreamed of hearing those first years when he’d been her hardest crush. But now, suddenly all she could think about was how much there was at risk. Because this didn’t feel the same as it had a couple of weeks ago. This didn’t seem like just one night…because it wouldn’t be. They’d already had their one night. So this was more.

Maybe it was Brody’s drinks or the nearly newlywed status of their company, but as obvious as it seemed to her, the rest of the group seemed oblivious to what was happening. Completely missing the way Sean’s fingers were playing at the back of her hair or how his eyes burned when he looked at her. Whatever the reason, she was grateful for it.

Finally, Sarah stretched her arms overhead in an exaggerated yawn that set off an avalanche more from everyone else.

Standing up, she conceded, “That’s it. I can’t fight it any longer. I’m going to have to risk the bugs.” Max grinned, wrapping his hands around her hips as he stood as well.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll protect you.”

Sean tilted his head toward Molly’s. “He added an extra lining to their tent and used some kind of perimeter spray along the door. So unless she’s got a spider hitching a ride on that sweatshirt of hers, I’m guessing she’ll be good.”

Molly gaped. “He installed a second liner? You remember when we came out here those first years, and he wouldn’t even let me bring a pillow. We had to roll our jeans up to make one, because he wanted it to be authentic.”

“I remember. He was a hard-ass. But those trips were fun.”

Brody and Jase loaded the coolers into the truck and locked it up, while Emily stared down at her phone from across the fire, periodically rubbing her eyes or covering her mouth for a yawn.

“Crowd’s getting thin,” Sean commented, his eyes cutting to Molly’s.

He was right, but it wouldn’t take more than a single look at Brody, and the guy would stay up as late as she wanted. Only what good would that do, really? Eventually, they’d have to go to bed, and when they did, Brody had his own tent, and she and Sean were sharing. Like they did every year.

Sooner or later, she was going to have to finish this conversation, and it was going to kill her when she did. She was going to have to tell him no. And of all the scenarios she’d imagined over the years, that had never been one of them.

* * *

Sean unzipped the mesh flap of their tent and crawled inside, moving quickly in the darkness to close up behind him. A couple of fires were still going strong farther up the loop, but with the exception of Brody’s air mattress inflating, from this end of the campground, things were quiet. Too quiet.

Molly wasn’t ribbing him the way she always did. She wasn’t gasping about something she’d forgotten to tell him or sticking her foot out of her sleeping bag to shove at his ass while he dug through his stuff. She was just lying there silent at the farthest edge of her side of the tent.

“I know you’re not asleep,” he said, keeping his voice low enough so the words wouldn’t carry.

Her sigh was his only answer.

“Molly.” He reached for the end of the mat and found her ankle beneath a layer of sleeping bag. Not exactly the kind of scorching move he’d been promising all night, but now that they were alone and he could literally feel the tension coming off her, a move didn’t feel right. “Talk to me.”

He’d been so sure earlier with Molly in his arms. It had been as if the clouds had parted and suddenly the answer was right there in a clear blue sky as bright as Molly’s eyes. He’d been fucking giddy with the revelation—laughing at her shock, because he’d been so damn sure it wouldn’t take more than a few minutes before she was right there with him. But the minutes passed and then the hours, and despite him playing with her in ways he knew she liked, she still hadn’t turned to him with that too-bright, too-beautiful smile and tried to drag him off to find some place private to celebrate the two of them finally seeing the most obvious thing in the world.

They weren’t just friends.

When Molly still didn’t answer, Sean found the zipper of her sleeping bag and opened it up, easing down onto the mat beside her. Arms wrapped around her waist, his feet tucked in with hers and most everything else hanging out, he closed his eyes and breathed her in. A second later, she turned into him, pressing her forehead into the center of his chest above where her hands had balled in the fabric of his T-shirt.

Jesus, when she clung to him like that. Like somehow she thought he was the answer, when they both knew he was the problem. He was the one pushing them past the lines that had framed their relationship to this point.

He stroked a hand through her hair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“It would be a mistake,” she whispered against his heart, breaking it just a little. “We were lucky that first time. Lucky to be able to slip back into things being normal between us. But I can’t risk it again.”

He sighed into the space above them. He got it. “Moll, I was freaking out about things changing too. After what we did, I was panicked we wouldn’t be able to go back to how we were. But then we did, and I was grateful, except…somehow, the way we were didn’t feel like it fit anymore. It didn’t feel like enough.”

He could hear her swallow, feel the unsteady breath filling her lungs. Did she even realize how tightly she was clinging to him?

“How can you say that?” she asked, her voice so low, he could barely hear her. “How can you think what we have isn’t enough? To me, it’s everything.”

“Molly, don’t misunderstand. You do mean everything to me. I’ve never questioned that. It’s just that suddenly…it feels like there could be even more. Like maybe there already is.”

Like maybe there always was, and he’d just refused to see it.

She was shaking her head slowly against his chest. “Sean, I-I know it feels good being together. Believe me, I know. But it’s not as simple as that. I don’t think I can be with you without getting invested.”

He let out a quiet laugh, holding her closer. “‘Invested’ doesn’t sound like a bad thing to me. Not at all. In fact, it’s pretty much where I’m going with this whole thing. Invested. Committed. The whole shebang.”

“For now,” she whispered.

His hand stilled at the back of her head, the air seeming to go solid in his lungs. For now?

“Molly, no—”

She pushed back from him, going to her knees. “Sean, I know this stuff with your parents hit you hard. I know you’re angry, and right now, it feels like maybe the last thing you want is the life they have. But one of these days, you may realize your feelings about the mistakes they’ve made don’t matter when it comes to the kind of future you want. And when that happens, I don’t want to be what’s holding you back.”

Sean pushed to his knees as well, his heart hammering. “What happened with my parents changed a lot of things. It made me take a look at what I was doing with my life. And yeah, it made me question the priorities I’d taken for granted all these years. But, Molly, this isn’t just some whim or passing phase. For Christ’s sake, I’m not some fifteen-year-old kid rebelling against my folks…and you sure as hell aren’t some bad decision I’m using to do it.”

“I know. And I’m not trying to make light of what you’re feeling. It’s just”—she bit her lip, searching his eyes—“I’m not sure you completely understand where I’m coming from. Why I’m afraid to let things go any further than they already have.”

“Then tell me.” So he could tell her why she didn’t need to worry.

“I was in love with you, Sean,” she admitted in a whispered rush, her brows furrowed, her big blue eyes pleading for understanding.

They were the kinds of words he’d spent his adult life consistently working to avoid. But hearing them come from Molly’s lips—Jesus, he didn’t know if his heart could take what was happening to it. He wanted to grab her shoulders and pull her in to his chest so she could feel what she was doing to him. Only one thing stopped him.

“Was?” he clarified, the single word sounding like it had rolled around in gravel and glass. He didn’t like was. As in past tense and no longer. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. Which was crazy—but man, it also felt like the most sane reaction he’d ever had.

Molly pinched her lips together and nodded. “For years. From the time I was sixteen until I was twenty-three, you were the beginning, the end, and everything in the middle. I was just a kid, and eventually, I got over it. I have my heart under control now, but, Sean, there’s no way I’d be able to maintain that control if we were adding some kind of regular benefits package to the mix.”

She was killing him.

“Molly, you’ve got this all wrong. I’m not asking you for some ‘benefits package.’” Unable to hold himself back any longer, he pushed his hands over her hips and pulled her in tight to him. “What I’m talking about—asking you for—is you and me, together. Giving more than friends a chance, because this is the first time in my life that I’m not waiting for what feels right. I’ve found it. It’s you… Damn it, Molly, it’s this.”

He took her by the back of the head, pulling her into his kiss, telling her everything he’d meant but couldn’t get right with words, reminding her of all the reasons why.

Her hands were in his hair, her fingers pulling as she opened beneath him. All that stiff resistance gone within a single breath.

Couldn’t she feel this?

Tearing her mouth from his, she sucked in a breath and then another. But she was still holding him, her hands at his shoulders now, her fingers bunched in his shirt. “So this isn’t just another night or another string of nights? You aren’t trying to get me out of your system?”

Molly, Molly, Molly.

“No. I don’t think there’s any getting you out of my system. And more than that, it feels so fucking good having you there, I don’t even want to try.” His hands coasted up her sides, following the dip of her waist and the rise of her ribs before reversing their paths and starting back down again.

“So you want—?” She sounded so vulnerable, but beneath that soft tremble, there was something else making his heart start to pound. Because she sounded hopeful too.

“I want you, Molly. I want us.”

“But what about your plans?”

He could hear her swallow, hear the doubt and the hope just beneath it in the words she could barely whisper.

His fucking plans.

“There’s got to be a reason I haven’t been able to follow through on the plans I had, and I think you’re it. I think you’re my plan, Molly.” Just saying it out loud felt so good. So right. So fucking different from those conversations with Valerie, where they talked about compatibility, discussed their acceptable levels of attraction with the distance he would never have been able to manage with Molly.

Now, here in the dark, with Molly trembling beneath his hands, he couldn’t believe he’d been so blind to this woman who had been in front of him the whole time.

She’d been in love with him.

He wanted that back.

“What if it doesn’t work?” she hedged. “What if we try this being together in front of all the friends we share and love…and we realize we made a mistake?”

It wouldn’t be a mistake. “Then we go back to being friends, Molly. Because that will never change.”

“Do you think that’s even possible?”

“I swear to you, I do.” He believed the two of them could do anything.

The silence stretched, and then she whispered, “I’m afraid to tell them. I’m not sure—”

“Maybe we leave them out of it for now, if it makes you more comfortable.” It wasn’t what he wanted, but if there was anything he could do or say that would put Molly’s mind at ease, he was in. “See how we feel about just being us?”

He waited for her answer, the seconds stretching.

His heart sank, a cold chill slicing through him as she pulled away.

Too late. He’d figured out what he wanted too late, and now she wasn’t willing to risk a relationship. After she’d admitted to having loved him for years, he’d finally seen what was there in front of him the whole time, and it was too damn late. Which meant now it was going to be his turn to make sure his feelings didn’t get in the way of the friendship that meant more than anything.

He had to say something. Make sure she knew it was going to be okay.

“Molly—”

The velvet touch of her fingertips at his lips interrupted his words, and then he felt the soft press of her breasts against his chest as she leaned in to him. “I’m scared, Sean. Terrified. But I don’t want to say no.”

His arms locked around her waist, hauling her in closer still as he caught her in a crushing kiss. Because she didn’t want to say no. “Molly, you won’t regret this. It’s going to be so good with us. I know it.”

“It’s already pretty good with us,” she said, her words coming breathless and soft. “You sure you’re going to be able to improve on perfection?”

He could hear the smile behind her words, the teasing challenge as she tested the new ground beneath them.

“Oh, baby, let me show you the ways.”

And with that, he laid her back on her mat and followed her down.