JAK. “Jak I don’t know how I’m going to help you, I really don’t,” he sighed from across the large living room.

“Commander, this isn’t something I want. I need this. I just hopped on a commercial bird and flew here from Kansas. I haven’t slept in almost thirty-six hours. This is critical,” I shouted.

He began to plead, “Jak, I’d love to help, I’m just afraid…”

I was a degree of angry I had never known. The thought of the woman I deeply loved being my daughter was something I was currently incapable of comprehending or dealing with. The pain I felt when I considered not spending my life with Karter was enough to bring me to the brink of suicide. Daughter or not, I loved Karter. I loved her even now. Try as I might, I could not change how I felt.

The crushing pain weighing down on my breaking heart far exceeded the guilt and self-imposed blame from all of the men I had killed combined. Denying she was my daughter didn’t change anything. Over the last twelve hours, I attempted to accept the fact she was my daughter. All of the events began to make sense. As a matter of fact, it was almost undeniable. Karter was my daughter. I forced myself to believe it, yet I still loved her with all of my being. Now filled with tremendous guilt for loving the woman I had planned on spending a lifetime loving and cherishing caused me to feel ill. Feeling ill for loving her made me angry. I loved Karter and it was beginning to infuriate me.

The anger built up inside of me.

And I eventually exploded.

“Afraid? You’re afraid? The first time we went into Wardak province. The first fucking time,” I screamed.

He stepped back two steps and looked as me as if he believed I was insane.

“Who the fuck was the first one to volunteer?” I bellowed.

His face was filled with worry, “Jak. It’s just…”

“I wasn’t done speaking, Commander. Who was first?” I demanded as I began to walk closer to him.

He raised his hands to his chest and turned his palms toward me as if to slow my approach, “You were Jak.”

“You’re fucking right, I was. Now, do you recall how many confirmed kills I had on that mission alone? How many, Commander?” I shouted as I continued to walk his direction slowly.

“Jak…”

“Four. Four confirmed. You want to know about the kills not on the report, sir? Do you? Do you think I was scared?” I tossed my bag onto the floor and looked up.

“Kandahar province. 2007. When I caught that bullet in the back of my thigh. What the fuck did I do?” I growled.

“Jak, this isn’t about…”

“What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Do?” I growled.

“Jak I don’t remember…”

“You can’t remember? Well, I’ll never fucking forget. With all due respect, the fuck you don’t remember, Commander. What did I do?”

He took a deep breath, stared down at the floor, and sighed, “You dug the bullet out with your blade and refused treatment so you could go back in,” he sighed.

The anger began to mount within me. I nodded my head and crossed my arms, “Kunar province back in 2006, when we went in to save those Marines from being ambushed. Who carried three of those poor boys down that mountain? Do you sir, remember that? I sure as absolute fuck didn’t carry them all down at once, either. Remember? I went up and motherfucking down the mountain, taking fire with each trip up and each respective trip down sir. Over and fucking over as I was shot at by a hundred Al Qaeda.”

I recalled receiving the Silver Star for my bravery in carrying the wounded Marines down the mountain from the ambush site. Gallantry in action against an enemy of the United States. My eyes began to well with tears.

I took the last step which separated us and tightened my jaw muscles. My voice elevated even higher, “Who earned the Silver Star in that mission alone? Over almost twenty-one years sir, I was awarded the Silver Star, Bronze Star, six Purple Hearts…”

“Jak, alright. You made your point. Exactly what do you need and when?” he asked as he raised his hands between our chests.

“It isn’t about making my point, sir. It’s about sacrifice. I sacrificed everything. And although ultimately it was for the country, I did it because you asked me to. You. Now, the time has come for me to request a service from you. I’m asking you to pull a few strings, not break laws. Are we understood, sir?”

I was exhausted and angry. He took a few shallow breaths and looked into my eyes, “What Jak? What and when?”

“I already told you, I need a DNA test,” I sighed as I turned away and reached for my bag.

He exhaled loudly, “What type of timeframe are we talking about?”

“I need it by tomorrow,” I said as I pulled the two marked envelopes from the bag.

“Tomorrow?” he complained.

“You and I both know it takes less than twenty-four hours. Like I said Commander, pull a few strings,” I grunted as I tossed the envelopes on the couch beside where he stood.

He crossed his arms, “If it’s siblings or distant…”

“It’s father-daughter. A simple test,” I said as I tossed the two envelopes on the couch beside where he stood.

“You in some kind of a mess, Jak?” he asked.

“Have the test performed, sir. I’ll be back in the morning,” I sighed.