KARTER. After Jak’s last mission, he seemed to be far more willing to let himself simply exist. Almost immediately after my art show, he became more jovial, relaxed, and simple. He had never seemed uptight or robotic like I had heard other people describe former military Soldiers, Sailors, and Marines. To see him now versus seeing him before was the difference between night and day. I never would have guessed it could have been possible to enjoy him even more, but it sure was.

“I don’t have my glasses, but let me see your hand, honey,” his mother said as she reached for my hand.

I lifted my hand from my lap and straightened my arm to extend over the table. Gingerly, she reached under my hand with hers and lifted it to her face. As she focused on the ring she fumbled across the table with her free hand and attempted to find her glasses. After raising them to her face and pushing them onto her nose, she gasped.

“My word, that’s beautiful Karter. Now when are you two thinking you’ll get married?” she asked.

Jak sighed and shook his head, “Mom, we just got engaged. The marriage won’t be for a while.”

She looked up from the ring and over the top of her glasses toward Jak, “I wasn’t talking to you, Jak. I was talking to Karter. Go in the other room if you’re going to interrupt us every time we try to talk.”

“We just got here mom. If you want to call that an interruption, it’s number one,” Jak sighed.

“When would be a perfect time for you, honey? If you got to pick?” she asked.

I turned toward Jak and stared.

Help me out here, Jak.

“Don’t look at him, Karter. He doesn’t know a damned thing, no matter what he tries to tell you. If you got to pick, when would you want to get married? Pay attention, Jak,” she said as she turned her gaze toward Jak.

Lady, I like you. You make me feel good.

I looked at her and grinned. I had already thought about it. Personally, I would prefer a June wedding. It seemed like everyone did it, and although I really didn’t know why, I always expected if I did get married someday, I would want to do so in June.

“I’d like a June wedding,” I smiled.

“Did you hear that, Jak? She’d like a June wedding,” she said as she removed her glasses and set them on the table beside her cup of coffee.

I turned my head slightly toward Jak, in hope of seeing him give confirmation of what I had said, and his acceptance of it as being okay. As always, I got exactly what I needed and wanted. His dimples showing were all the endorsement I needed. With my hand still resting in her palm, I turned to face his mother.

“Well as far as I’m concerned honey, you’re already my daughter-in-law. It’ll be nice to finally make it official,” she said as she released my hand.

I shifted my gaze toward Jak slightly. As soon as I did, his mother snapped at me.

“Stop looking at Jak for answers, Karter. He’ll do nothing but get you in trouble with those eyes of his. He’ll hypnotize you with those damned things,” she laughed.

I raised my hands to my cheeks, “I know, right? He does it to me all the time. He tells me things and I find myself just…”

“Go in the other room, Jak. We need to talk,” his mother said softly.

  “Mom, I’m not going in the other room,” Jak complained.

His mother turned her head toward Jak slowly. As she reached for her cigarettes, she lowered her chin and raised her eyebrows.

“I’ll be in the other room,” Jak sighed.

Jak leaned over and kissed me softly. As he walked through the door and into the other room, his mother stood from her chair, tip-toed to the doorway, and stared into the other room. After a silent moment of her staring into the living room, she turned around and walked to the table and sat down.

“You’ve got to keep an eye on him, he’s a sneaky one. We don’t need him listening to our girl talk,” she said as she scooted her chair closer to the table.

“Now we can talk,” she smiled.

I grinned and nodded my head, “Okay.”

“I want this to work for all of us, honey. You and Jak. So, I’m going to give you what little advice I can,” she said as she lit a cigarette.

As she began to smoke her cigarette, she looked around the kitchen as if she was thinking of what to say next. Silently, she continued to smoke and look down at the ashtray. I sat nervously and waited for her to continue. After a few moments of her not speaking, I decided to say something.

“We’ll be just fine, I’m sure of it. We don’t fight or argue at all. I really think he loves me as much as I love him. And I love him more than I can ever sit here and try to explain,” I said.

She looked up from the ashtray, “I’m sure you do. He’s told me over and over how much he loves you - ‘till he’s blue in the face. I’m happy for us all. I don’t have much experience, Karter. Not with men. Jak’s father died when he was a little boy. I never remarried or even saw another man after his father was gone. I couldn’t bring myself to. It wouldn’t have been fair to either of us. I still loved Jak’s father then and I still love him today.”

“What was his name? Jak’s father?” I asked.

“His name was Anderson. Jak didn’t tell you? His name was Anderson Jackson Kennedy. We named Jak so his initials would spell his name. We thought it was cute. Jak Anderson Kennedy. J.A.K.,” she smiled.

I smiled and nodded. For some reason, I preferred having names attached to people in the tales which were told about them. Without a name, the story meant less and it was difficult to believe. Simply having a name made everything become real. Without one, the statements felt meaningless and weak. As she puffed on her cigarette she looked at me as if she wanted to eat me.

She smiled and tilted her head back as she blew smoke in the air, “Karter, you’re a beautiful woman. I like looking at your face, it’s beautiful. You remind me of a girl I went to school with. Her name was Jennifer. She was the prettiest girl in school. I envied her. I wanted to be as pretty as her, but it never worked out that way. You’re prettier than she was, and she has always been the prettiest girl I’ve ever known. You just shoved her aside and took over.”

You make me feel so good. I can’t wait to have you as a mother.

You’re adorable.

“Thank you very much. That’s nice of you to say. I liked hearing it. You’re adorable,” I smiled.

She grinned and smashed her cigarette into the ashtray, “Okay so there’s a few things I want to tell you. You may already know, but if you do, just entertain me. I want to feel like you learned them from me. Okay, honey?”

I nodded my head and smiled.

“Now, you and Jak. At some point in time, you will have a disagreement. It’s bound to happen. When it does, make sure you get it resolved before bedtime. Never go to sleep angry with the one you love,” she picked up her cigarette case, looked inside and closed the case.

“And, when you have a disagreement, never raise your voice. It’s hard for a man to scream at a woman if she’s whispering. So, if you’re arguing, keep it quiet and make whatever point you have to without raising your voice. Loud doesn’t make right.”

I couldn’t imagine Jak screaming at me, but her advice made perfect sense. It was nice to have someone care enough to sit and talk about their relationship opinions and give advice. It would be far too easy for me to spend a few days a week with Jak’s mother talking about things I’ve never felt comfortable talking to other people about. She seemed to spend most of her time at home, and almost all of it in the kitchen, but she spent it alone. As I sat and admired her for being so sweet, I felt terrible for her being alone for the last twenty years.

“And when it comes to sleeping, before you go to sleep tell Jak you love him. Do it every night. And give him a kiss. Do it in bed, not a half hour before or anything silly. And every morning when you wake up, kiss him and tell him you love him before you get out of bed. You’ll reach a point when you’ll feel like he knows, but tell him anyway. It’s always nice to say and it’s sure nice to hear.”

She reached across the table toward my hands. Without thought, I straightened my arms and extended my hands toward hers. Our fingers met in the middle of the table. As she held my hands softly in hers, she looked up into my eyes and smiled. 

“I love you, Karter.”

If you make me cry, I’m going to throat punch you.

I wanted to tell her I loved her too. I wished I knew her name. As if she knew what prevented me from immediately responding, she spoke.

“Jaqueline. You can call me Jackie,” she said softly.

And at that particular moment, everything she had said became real. I felt warm inside. As I held her hands in mine, I swallowed and responded without any thought.

“I love you too, Jackie.”