In some strange twist of fate, when I woke up, I felt at ease with where things stood with Ash. Maybe it was our date last night, or possibly what he’d told me in the car on the way home. Whatever it was, the impatience I’d drowned in ever since deciding to go for it with him no longer suffocated me. It no longer threatened to pull me under until I went crazy with need.

I still wanted him.

Still woke up with an ache between my legs that only he could soothe.

But I felt oddly okay with waiting for him to take things further.

Although, that didn’t mean I would just sit in my room and stare at my phone until his number popped up. Just because I wasn’t compelled to throw myself at him every chance I got or beg for his touch as if I’d die without it didn’t mean I’d lost the desire to see him or hear his voice.

Before I even got out of bed, I had his message box pulled up on my phone.

One of the best parts of Ash was that he never made me wait long for a response.

I blushed, even though no one could see me or even knew what his text said.

I cursed at myself for offering two options when I really only wanted confirmation for one.

I both loved and hated how he made me feel like a teenager.

While I waited for his message to come through, I went ahead and got dressed, fully prepared to walk across the yard to spend some time with Ash in his garage—even if I only got to watch him work.

By the time I had my teeth brushed, my phone chirped.

After furiously typing and then deleting, I gave up on the phone and ran out the door, barely managing to get my flip-flops on my feet. Somehow, I made it to Ash’s garage without falling on my face.

“What can I do to help?” I was out of breath and hoped he didn’t notice. But the second he glanced over his shoulder and took me in from head to toe like he always did, I lost that hope—there was no way he hadn’t noticed.

Ash set down whatever tool he had in his hand and turned to face me, offering the smile that left my heart begging for more and my panties drenched. “That was fast.”

I shrugged and took a few deep breaths before attempting to speak again. “What can I say? I didn’t have anything going on, and I thought you might’ve wanted some company. Seriously, put me to work. What can I do?”

“You can stand there and talk to me so I don’t have to keep imagining your voice.” He winked and picked up the block wrapped in sandpaper. “How’d you sleep last night?”

“Better than normal.” I couldn’t keep the smile off my face, and when he met my eyes, I could see he couldn’t, either. The things he’d texted me after getting home left me sated and thoroughly exhausted. “What about you?”

He returned his attention to the large pieces of wood that formed what I could only assume was the top of my island and shrugged. “I must’ve woken up twenty times, so by six, I decided to give up and get to work.”

“Why? I mean, why’d you keep waking up?”

“My dick.” He huffed a laugh through his smirk and shook his head. “You kept me hard all night, Kris. I don’t think I’ve jacked-off this much since I was thirteen.”

My face flamed, though not with embarrassment. It was heated with excitement. “Oh…well, I’d say sorry, but that would totally be a lie.”

“Keep this up, and I doubt I’ll know what to do with the real thing.”

I stepped to his side and propped my hip against the top he was in the middle of smoothing. “You know…the faster you get this island done, the faster you can have the real thing. You act like I’m the one making you wait. You only have yourself to blame.”

“Yeah, and you’re not making it easy.”

Lowering my voice so there was no mistaking the innuendo, I said, “I could make it a lot harder if you want me to.”

“Fuck, babe.” Ash hung his head and growled, his knuckles white from gripping the sanding block so tightly. “Maybe having you here while I work isn’t such a good idea.”

I knew he was only teasing, but still, I hated the way it made me feel—like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and torn into unrecognizable pieces. To hide the discomfort of his words, I played along. “If that’s what you really want.”

Slowly, I put one foot behind the other, only taking two steps before he intervened.

He turned toward me and bent at the waist. Without warning, he slung me over his shoulder. At first, I laughed. It had been a while since someone had tossed me around like this. But the second his giant palm landed on my ass, all amusement vanished. That one slap filled me with intense heat and forced a thunderous moan past my lips. At the sound of it—or maybe the vibration against his shoulder—he nearly stopped moving.

“Kris,” he warned in a heady rumble as he slid my body down the front of his.

I didn’t recall him walking very far, though now, we stood in the rear corner of the garage, hidden by organized racks of tools and supplies. It was like he’d taken me to an alternate universe, one where I could have my fill of him without anyone seeing. I didn’t have to worry about one of our neighbors catching me touch him and question what I was doing with someone so young. I didn’t get bogged down in the fear of a rumor starting and Emma finding out about my tryst with the man who was only a few years older than her and her friends. I could explore him the way I wanted without a single doubt in my mind.

And that’s exactly what I did.

I began by running my hands along his chest, practically memorizing the dips and valleys of each muscle before dragging my fingertips to his stomach to count his abs. I traced each line while he stood in front of me, propping himself with both hands against the wall that held me upright. But once I got to the waistband of his cargo shorts, I trailed my attention back up his body to his neck.

I’d completely lost my grip on reality as I stepped into him, fisting the sides of his shirt while settling my face against the center of his chest. It wasn’t until he growled that I even realized I’d closed my eyes, and by then, I had already filled my lungs with his masculine, soothing scent. Just holding myself against him made me feel safe, as if nothing and no one in the world could touch me. And even without the feel of his hands on my body, I sensed his desire, yet it wasn’t lust like I had expected.

That’s when my world tipped and spun out of control.

This thing with Ash was no longer about getting off, about finding someone to tend to the needs that hadn’t been met in years. What had started out as desperation to have a man touch me, want me, scratch the itch that had threatened to consume me, had grown into something so much more. And I wasn’t sure I could handle it.

At the same time, I wasn’t sure I could give it up, either.

“This is so bad,” I whispered against him, more to myself than him.

“Kristy,” he groaned again, though this time, it sounded much closer to my ear. He’d dropped his head and leaned into me, yet his hands remained propped on the wall rather than holding me to him like I desperately wished for. “This is about to get really bad if you don’t stop.”

I knew I needed to. I needed to step away and go home. But I couldn’t. I refused to give this up, especially so soon after realizing how tangled up in him I’d become. There was a good chance this would be the end of it all. That he’d understand the shift in my desire and cut me off. And that was something I wasn’t ready to risk quite yet.

“I just need another minute, Ash. Please.”

With that, he dropped his arms, his hands settling at the base of my spine before lazily falling to my ass. At first, he just held them there, but then his biceps tensed and his grip grew stronger. A split second later, he pulled me against him in what could only be described as frantic need.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” I whispered, unable to use my voice.

“This can’t happen.”

We were talking about two different things, and while I yearned to correct him, fear choked me into submission. Instead, I lifted my chin to hide my face in the crook of his neck and asked, “Can we just pretend for a little while longer?”

Ash must’ve lost his balance, because in an instant, he fell forward, pinning me between the wall and his body. Although, he never released his death grip on my lower back or allowed any space to come between us. “What are we pretending, Kris?”

The anguish in his tone cut through me, leaving me to bleed out at his feet. In that instant, I realized he knew exactly what I was talking about, and just maybe, he wanted the same things. Although, I still wasn’t sure why he was so determined to fight it.

My hesitation must’ve been too much for him to handle, because he added, “Tell me what to pretend, and I’ll do it.”

“That this is okay. That you want this as much as I do and won’t push me away anytime soon. That if someone were to see us like this, no one would care or say anything or turn around and gossip about the woman who took advantage of a younger man.”

Without warning, he grabbed the backs of my thighs and lifted me off the ground until I had my legs secured around his middle, my ankles crossed at his lower back. In this position, we were face to face, and nothing gutted me more than the war brewing in his eyes.

I cupped his jawline, taking a moment to absorb the storm settling in behind the faint orange glow in his irises. The urge to calm his fears was strong, yet I was powerless to do anything about it.

Finally, he brought his mouth closer until his breaths drifted along my lips. He had his forehead rested on mine with his eyes shut and every muscle in his body coiled tight. “We won’t have to pretend, Kristy. We can have that…if you want it.”

I paused to question myself, to dig deep and find the truth that had lodged itself inside my chest, taking up residence in each beat of my heart. And that’s when I understood his request to wait, to discover more about each other. While we’d talked a lot over the last couple of weeks and learned things about one another we wouldn’t have otherwise, there was still so much I wanted to know. It was as though we were on the cusp of something greater, and if we simply held on for a little while longer, we could have it all.

Nodding, I whispered, “Yes, Ash. I want that. But—”

He silenced me with the barest graze of his lips against mine. It wasn’t a kiss, not even enough to taste him, but it sufficiently forced my argument down and tamed the negativity that bred inside me.

“Then we’ll have it. Once I finish with your island. Bear with me, babe. That’s all I ask.”

“Okay.” As soon as that one word left my tongue, Ash sucked in a deep breath, swallowing my acceptance as if it were a key he never planned to return. “Just promise you won’t take long.”

“I’ll have it finished as soon as I can. I swear.” With that, he lowered me to my feet and forced himself to back away. “As much as I enjoy your company, I’ll never get anything done with you here.”

His smile almost seemed forced or strained, but once I noticed the impressive bulge in his shorts, I understood why. My cheeks flushed, and I could only imagine their crimson hue, but I didn’t let that stop me from making eye contact with him.

“You plan on taking care of that?” I pointed to his covered erection.

Without dropping his gaze, he cupped himself, lifted his brows quickly, and muttered, “As soon as you tell me if you followed the dress code today.”

My smile stretched wider no matter how hard I fought to control it. “I haven’t put any on since your bedtime story last night.”

His brown eyes darkened as he clenched his jaw, his chest vibrating with an animalistic rumble of desire. “You’re gonna fucking kill me, Kris.”

“Then I suggest you hurry and build that thing, Ash.” I closed the distance between us and lifted myself onto my tiptoes, bringing my lips to his ear to whisper, “In the meantime, go take care of yourself while picturing my bare ass sitting on the finished countertop, legs spread, waiting for you to devour me.”

I walked away with the sound of his growl curling my lips.

“Hey, babe…do you have any plans for this evening?” Ash’s deep voice floated through the speaker on my phone, filling my bathroom as I shaved. I’d made a habit of ensuring my legs were always silky smooth, considering I never knew when his restraint would snap, and I wanted to be prepared in the event it wasn’t planned.

“No. Once again, Emma’s ditching me for her boyfriend.” I wouldn’t have cared, but Ash’s dad had asked that he spend the evening with him, which meant I would have to watch the fireworks all by myself this year. “Did your dad say what he wanted to do tonight?”

“Same as every year—set off the biggest finale anyone’s ever seen,” he said in what I could only assume was an impersonation of his father’s voice. “I’ve tried to get out of it a hundred times, but the old man just won’t let me. Apparently, we started a tradition when I was a baby, and now he thinks we have to do it every year.”

“What about the years between the divorce and you moving in with him?”

“Ironically, Fourth of July was the only holiday we consistently spent together. For some reason, the man always made sure he was available for Independence Day but not Christmas or birthdays. Don’t ask me why…I’ve never been able to figure it out.”

“Well, I guess you can’t complain. At least he reserved one day out of the year for you.” I didn’t want him to think that was meant as a lecture, so I added, “We can see each other when he leaves. Remind me again when that is?”

His throaty laughter drifted through the line, causing my nipples to instantly harden despite the warm water I sat in. “Sunday morning. Not soon enough. I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

“We’ve managed to survive the last four days with nothing more than calls and texts, Ash. What’s one more night?” His dad had gotten into town late last night, though we’d decided to keep a good amount of distance ever since our moment in his garage on Saturday. “Does this mean you’re done with my table?”

“No. I just want to see you. Am I not allowed to miss the sound of your voice when it’s not through a phone?”

I might’ve literally swooned.

“Well, I’m in the tub shaving. We could always video chat.”

“Fuck no,” he growled. “That would get out of hand.”

“Not in hand?” I was playing a dangerous game, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Do you shave your pussy or trim it? Or neither?” His deep voice went straight to my core and left me panting with need.

“Um…” I glanced down—not sure why, considering I looked at it every day, so I had no need to check before answering. Yet the idea of saying the wrong thing left me paranoid about turning him off. “Trim?”

“You don’t sound very confident about that.”

I dropped my head to the back of the tub and closed my eyes. “I trim. I’m positive about that. I just wasn’t expecting you to ask, is all.” I swallowed thickly and went for it. “What about you?”

His airy laughter swarmed me with comfort. “I keep it neat, but I have an issue with genitals—either gender—looking prepubescent. I like hair, just not a lot of it.”

“Wow. We just got really personal with that one.”

“Isn’t that part of getting to know each other?” He was so easy to talk to when I wasn’t begging him to sleep with me. “Tell me one thing you’ve never told anyone else.”

I had to think about that for a moment, though not because I was an open book, but because I had so many things to choose from. Plus, I didn’t want to scare him off after realizing my feelings for him had wandered past the land of strictly physical.

“I’ve always wanted to go skinny dipping, but I never have.” That was an easy one, and technically, something I’d never told anyone.

“We just might have to rectify that. I know of a pool we could use.”

“Yeah, except I’d rather not chance having someone catch me.”

“The thrill is half the fun.” His smile hung in his words.

I finished rinsing off the shaving cream from my leg. “Sounds like you have experience.”

“Babe, if you or I didn’t use that pool, no one would. Trust me…it’ll be fine.” A knock sounded through the line, and then there were muffled voices, though I couldn’t make out the words. When it went quiet again, he came back on and said, “Dad’s ready to go. I’ll give you a call later. Stay inside—too many crazies on the road.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” Yet another reminder of how incredibly boring my life was.

Although, that might have been half of Ash’s appeal. He offered me a reprieve from the monotony, and for the first time since I was in high school, I was able to laugh as if I didn’t have a care in the world. There was definitely something magical about him, something I hadn’t found with anyone else, and I started to wonder if I ever would.

It had to be his age, which if I were honest, still bothered me at times. But for the most part, I’d been able to forget and just give in, be carefree, and enjoy myself. In fact, it had been so long since I’d last felt this way, it was almost like it’d happened in a past life—technically, it was, considering it was prior to being a mom and primary caretaker of another person.

“Mom,” Emma called out half a second before she stormed into the bathroom. Thank God I wasn’t still on the phone with Ash. At some point, she needed to learn to knock; she wasn’t a toddler anymore. “Did you know there’s a Fourth of July block party going on at the pool tonight?”

I released the drain and reached for my towel, suddenly feeling modest in front of my daughter who’d spent the last sixteen years barging in on me while I used the bathroom. “No, I didn’t. But aren’t you going out with your friends tonight?”

“Oh, that’s not until way later. Thomas is picking me up at nine, and we’re meeting Tori and everyone else at the bridge for Red White and Boom by nine thirty. They do the finale at ten. I didn’t know if maybe you’d want to go down the street for a little bit before I left.”

“First of all”—I wrapped the towel around my midsection and wiped my feet on the bath mat—“why would you go to the bridge so late? I would imagine you’d want to see the entire show. And don’t they have other things going on down there beforehand? Like carnival stuff?”

She rolled her eyes and huffed, as if she’d answered this same question a dozen times already, even though I’d never asked—this was the first time I’d even heard that she was heading down there so late.

“It’s mostly beer vendors, which I’m not interested in, and the other stuff is geared more toward little kids…probably to entertain the young ones while their parents booze it up. We’re only going to see the grand finale and then heading over to Brookstone for pizza. It’s downtown anyway, so we’ll be right there.”

“You know, I’m not sure how comfortable I am with you being out on the road after hearing about all the drunks that’ll be down there.”

Emma followed me into my room, hot on my heels as if I wasn’t in a towel or had just stepped out of the tub. I clearly hadn’t set enough boundaries when she was younger. Maybe if I’d taken her to more places with carnival games for her to play while I got drunk then she wouldn’t want to plop on my bed while I got dressed.

Yeah…probably not.

“We’ll be fine. We’re going to park at Brooks and walk over. That way, by the time we leave, all the drunks will have cleared out. See? You have nothing to worry about. Now, back to the party in the neighborhood. You want to go for an hour with me?”

The idea that this neighborhood would have something like that baffled me. I mean, everyone in this subdivision aside from us, Ash, and his dad were all senior citizens. Then again, maybe that was why it was so early—so they wouldn’t have to stay up much past their bedtimes.

“How much fun can we have with a bunch of old people? But if you want to go, I’ll join you.” Truth be told, I was just excited my daughter actually wanted to do something with me, even if it was one notch above playing Bingo in the clubhouse.

“Most of the people on the other side are younger. Well, older than you, but definitely not grannies.”

“How do you know that?” I questioned her while slipping on a pair of jean shorts beneath my towel. “You’ve been here for all of two weekends, and even then, you haven’t really been here. When did you get out and meet the neighbors?”

“Tori’s ex used to live on the backside.” Apparently, that meant she knew everyone and everything—just like every teen I’d ever come across.

However, I didn’t argue. There was no point, especially since she technically had more information than I did. Instead, I slipped into my closet to finish changing in what little privacy she offered.

Twenty minutes later, Emma and I walked side by side into the pool area, and I had to admit, I was rather surprised at how many people gathered around the tables on the deck. And even more surprised that it wasn’t a sea of white hair and walkers.

God, I was going to hell.

“I’m going to find a cooler and pray they have a diet soda. Do you want anything?” Hopefully, the offer to grab me a drink meant she planned to come back instead of leaving me alone in a crowd of people I’d never met before.

There was a good chance this was her way of forcing me to make friends.

I secretly plotted her punishment if that ended up being the case and said, “Sure. I’ll take whatever they have. You know what I like.” I grabbed her elbow before she could trot off. “And you know how much I don’t like you drinking diet soda.”

“Yeah, almost as much as you hate me drinking the real stuff.” She tossed a condescending smile my way and walked off. She thought she was funny…I doubted she’d still feel that way when I snatched the soda from her hand when she returned.

“Hey, it’s about time you showed up,” an unfamiliar voice said from behind me.

When I whipped around, not expecting to know anyone in attendance, I was shocked to find Ash’s dad with a wide grin that reminded me too much of his son to make me comfortable. “Oh, hi. Yeah, my daughter just told me about it. I didn’t know anything was going on. I had planned to just stay at the house until she mentioned it.”

“Well, I’m glad you came.” He took a paper plate off the table next to him and held it out. “Are you hungry? We have hot dogs and hamburgers, and there should still be plenty of coleslaw and macaroni salad left. Here, let me grab you some.”

I stopped him before he could take two steps. “Thank you, but I’ve already eaten.”

It was obvious he wasn’t sure what to do other than nod and set the plate back down. “I’m sorry, I guess I’m used to everyone around here being familiar with the event. Most come on empty stomachs,” he said with a laugh. “Krista, right?”

I shrugged since that might as well have been my name with the number of people who got it wrong. “Uh, Kristy. And as embarrassing as it is, I can’t remember yours. God, that sounds so horrible, doesn’t it?”

“No, not at all.” He held out a plastic chair for me to join him at the table. “It’s Will. We only met once, and you had just gotten home from work, so I don’t blame you at all. I have to make up a game to remember names.”

I quickly glanced around, wondering where Ash was since he’d told me he would be out with his father tonight, and if he was here, then Ash had to be as well. Unfortunately, there were too many people in the way, and if I spent much longer seeking him out, Will would probably get the wrong impression.

Instead, I took the seat and waited for him to settle into his across from me. “A game? Like what?”

A smile spread across his lips, brightening his blue eyes. It was amazing how in one second, he could remind me so much of Ash, and then in the next, I wouldn’t have even guessed they were related, let alone father and son.

Before he could explain this name game he used, Emma slid up next to the table and set down a bottle of water in front of me. “They wouldn’t let me get a wine cooler for you. Apparently, they thought I was trying to get it for myself.”

I didn’t miss the diet cola in her hand, and she didn’t miss the way I took it and replaced it with the water. Although, she didn’t seem to appreciate the smile I offered—likely identical to the one she gave me a few minutes earlier.

“Is this your daughter?” Will asked, seemingly very interested, unlike most guys I met.

“Yes, this is Emma. Emma, this is Mr. Jenkins, he lives next door to us.”

“Oh, please…she can call me Will. I get enough formalities at work.” His demeanor surprised me, not at all the hard ass I’d expected after seeing him in suits and polished shoes. Even the way he carried himself with such a rigid posture had led me to believe he wasn’t as easy-going as he seemed to be tonight.

Maybe he’d had a few drinks to loosen him up.

“You guys just moved here, right? Relocation from a different area, or did you already live in town?” He was very inviting and left me comfortable talking to him, yet it still felt odd considering his son had told me in very colorful words exactly what he wanted to do to my naked body.

It made it difficult to maintain eye contact with the man. “Oh, we literally kept the same zip code.” I laughed and prayed it didn’t come across as awkward or off-putting. “I finally got tired of renting and decided to buy. Nothing like waiting until my only child is almost off to college before getting a mortgage for the first time.”

“You don’t look old enough to have a daughter on her way to college.”

“Well, not yet.” I ignored Emma’s huff and continued my conversation with Will. “She just turned sixteen, but thank you. I wasn’t old enough when I had her, so that’s probably why you say that.”

“There’s no such thing as being old enough to have kids. I was twenty-six when my son was born, and trust me, I was not at all prepared.” There was a chance he had told me that to make me feel better, but after what Ash had said about him, I leaned more toward taking his word as truth. “You might actually know him, Emma. What school do you go to?”

“Uh, Lindfield High.”

“Oh, that’s where he goes.” Will had caught my complete attention.

I wasn’t aware Will had any other children, and I couldn’t believe Ash had never told me he had a brother—or maybe they weren’t close. If he was in high school, then there was probably a decent age gap between them, and it made me wonder if this other child had been the cause of his parents’ divorce.

However, it was what Will said next that knocked the wind out of me. “His name is Asher Jenkins.”

It felt like someone had come along and plucked Earth out of the solar system, shook it up like a magic eight ball, and then tossed it aside. If that truly had happened, then there was a chance the fortune read: You have the right to remain silent; anything you say or do can be held against in a court of law.

“Yeah, I know Ash. Mom, he’s friends with Thomas.” Emma suddenly seemed enthusiastic—meanwhile, I was about to hurl all over Will’s outrageously expensive shoes. “He lives here? Wait…Ash lives next door?”

I nodded, unable to speak. But thankfully, it didn’t seem like Will was aware of anything that had happened between his teenage son and me, because he had no problem whatsoever carrying on with the conversation. “I’m surprised you haven’t seen him around. You moved in about a month ago, right?”

“Oh, I only stay with my mom on the weekends during summer vacation. Maybe that’s why I didn’t know he lived that close. Wow, that’s pretty cool. Thomas will be excited to hear that when I tell him later. Is he here? Have you met him yet, Mom?”

Paranoia nearly caused my heart to shrivel up and die. I couldn’t stop panicking that everyone knew; that was the only reason I could come up with as to why Emma had asked so many questions. “Um, yeah…I mean, I’ve seen him outside. I didn’t know he was your age or anything. Or in high school. In fact, I haven’t even spoken to him. Ever. I’ve just seen him a few times on my way home from work.”

“Really?” Will cocked his head. “He told me he helped you move in.”

Fuck.

My.

Life.

“Oh, that’s right. I dropped a box while getting it out of my car. He came over and helped me pick up the mess. They were mostly picture frames.” Of Emma. Such as the one I’d specifically pointed out and had said, “That’s my daughter, Emma,” right before he neglected to tell me they went to the same school—because he was a minor.

“And yes, Emma. He’s around here somewhere. Last I knew he was grilling up more hot dogs, but he’s probably done by now.” Adoration brightened his eyes as he spoke of his son.

If I weren’t so sick to my stomach or violently angry over what Ash had done, then I might’ve appreciated the sight. But alas…that wasn’t happening. It was all I could do to keep dinner from spilling out all over myself.

Emma didn’t waste time slipping away, probably looking for her friend in the crowd.

Will turned to me with a smile that almost calmed my nerves—only because it was the same smile that had graced my dreams nearly every night. Except the one I saw behind closed eyelids was a much younger version. “Would you like one of those wine coolers, Kristy? I can get it for you.”

“Yes, please. That sounds fantastic.” Not really, but if it got him to leave so I could sneak away, then I would unapologetically ask for a case.

I waited six and a half seconds after he walked off to slip away from the table, keeping my eyes on him just in case he was one of those who glanced backward to make sure women didn’t run off when he had his back turned. Although, from the looks of him, I doubted he had that problem. In fact, I’d be willing to bet this was the first time it had ever happened, and unbeknownst to Will, it had to do with his son, not him.

It seemed I was quickly securing my place in hell.

I took off down the street, going as fast as my feet would carry me. And once I made it to my house, on my way up to the front door, I breathed a sigh of relief. That was, until Ash came up from behind like a ninja in the night.

“What are you doing, Ash?” I held up one arm—using it to block him or guard myself, I wasn’t sure which. Anger flooded my veins, betrayal burned my skin, but the second I met his remorseful gaze, I almost caved.

Almost. The only reason I didn’t was because it was hard to forget how he’d lied to me over the last month. How he had deceived me, endangered my livelihood and reputation for… Well, I wasn’t sure why he did it, only that he had, and it was unforgivable.

“Will you please listen to me, Kristy?”

“There’s no point. I can’t trust a single word you say.”

He glanced around, I assumed to ensure we were alone, and then stepped closer to where I stood with the key in the deadbolt. Without a word, he held my stare, covered my hand to disengage the lock, and opened the door.

“Y-you can’t be here.” I might as well have been speaking a foreign language, because he ignored me and did the complete opposite of what I’d said. It wasn’t until we were both inside my house with the door closed behind him that I realized just how far this had gone. “I’m not playing around, Asher. I need you to leave. Do you have any idea how much trouble I could get in if anyone finds out you’re here…alone with me?”

“Think about it. How many times have we been alone together over the past month? And how many of those times did anyone see us? How many people said something when I took you to dinner on Friday? Or hung out with you in your back yard, or when you spent time in my garage? None. No one saw or said anything.”

I scoffed and moved into the center of my living room. With my head in my hands, my fingers tugging on my hair, I desperately fought to control my breathing before I passed out. “You can’t possibly be that stupid. Just because no one’s said anything doesn’t mean they haven’t mentioned it to other people. And if by some small miracle we had managed to go unseen this whole time, that doesn’t guarantee tonight won’t be the night that all changes.”

“Just hear me out, and then I’ll leave. I swear.”

His dominance made me want to give him what he asked for, even though I knew I shouldn’t. It was difficult to do the right thing when he was around—his hypnotic tone, masculine scent, and all-consuming aura left my mind spinning and my moral compass shattered.

I glanced at the clock on the wall above the TV. “Fine. You have three minutes. But you better hurry, because once your time’s up, you’re gone.”

He dropped his chin and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

“I never meant to lie to you, Kristy.” When he lifted his gaze, I could’ve drowned in the sea of despair that shone back at me. And if that hadn’t been enough, the agony in his voice when he spoke might as well have been shrapnel, ready to slice my heart into a million pieces. “You assumed I was older, and I didn’t correct you. It was never meant to be malicious.”

“Then why? Why didn’t you correct me that very first day we met? What about the following weekend when we were at the pool together? My God, Ash…you told me you were twenty-two.”

“No. I never lied. I just didn’t correct you, and I continued to let you believe I was older, but I swear, no matter what we talked about, I never outright lied. That day in the pool, I asked you how old you thought I was. You’re the one who said twenty-two.”

I tried to think back to that moment, but no matter how hard I tried to remember how it had all gone down, my mind raced at the speed of light and prevented me from recalling any detail of what had taken place over the last several weeks.

“Regardless, Ash…that would’ve been a fantastic time to say, ‘Actually, Kristy, I’m only sixteen.’ But—”

“Seventeen,” he corrected me, suddenly sounding a little angry himself.

“Oh, because that makes such a big difference?”

“Yes. It does. Why do you think I wanted to wait? Why do you think I’ve been so adamant not to touch you or kiss you?”

“But telling me you want to fuck me is okay? That’s not immoral or wrong?”

He dropped his chin again, but this time, instead of lifting his gaze to meet mine, he kept his sights on the floor while his posture deflated like a punctured lung. “I’m not denying that. I was wrong for allowing you to go on believing I was of age, and I did so while carrying on an inappropriate relationship with you.”

“But why?”

Finally, he pulled his shoulders back and locked his attention on me. “Because I want you. Plain and simple. I’m sure that’s not what you want to hear, but that’s the truth. I just hoped I could bide my time until my birthday, until it was no longer an issue.”

I couldn’t believe I was about to ask this, but I couldn’t stop myself if I tried. “When’s your birthday?”

“August ninth—five weeks from now.”

“And you thought you could keep us from crossing lines for the next five weeks without me asking more questions or figuring it out?”

His brow furrowed as he concentrated his stare on me. There was no way his emotion was fabricated or enhanced, yet that didn’t begin to make any of this okay. “To be honest with you, no. I hoped I could, but as of lately, I began to question how much longer I’d be able to hold off. Which is why the other day I suggested we limit ourselves to phone calls and texts.”

He came closer, and no matter how loudly I screamed at myself to back away and not let him near me, I couldn’t move. I was frozen in place by his stare. By his presence. By the utter heartache in every step he took as he closed the distance between us.

“I’m actually relieved that you found out. I don’t expect you to believe that, but it’s the truth. I no longer trust myself to do the right thing, and now I don’t have to worry about failing you. We can do this together—hold each other accountable for another month.”

“Wait.” I held up one hand, which landed in the center of his chest, where it remained because I didn’t have the strength to pull it away. “You think you still have a chance with me? After all this? After all you’ve done, you seriously think I’ll let you in my bed? In my home? In my life?”

“Yes, Kristy. I do.” There was not an ounce of question or doubt in his tone, his eyes, his expression, or his posture as he answered with his absolute truth. “Despite how you feel right now, your anger will fade, and when that happens, you’ll remember how great we are together. Because the day I turn eighteen…you won’t have any more excuses.”

The room swayed, and I worried I’d go with it if it tipped too far. Then, something I hadn’t thought of yet smacked me in the face hard enough to cause my head to rear back. “Aren’t you still in school? In high school?”

Ash nodded, but after licking his lips, he answered verbally. “Yes, I’m going into my senior year. My parents made me wait to start kindergarten because of how young I’d be, and they were told boys statistically do better when they are older at the start of school. So, my mom kept me home another year.”

“Well…there’s my excuse, Ash. Eighteen or not, you’ll still be a student in high school, going to class with my daughter.” Just the thought of Emma had my throat closing, suffocating me like the reminder of her had been a boa constrictor around my neck. “You need to go.”

“Not until you agree to give me a chance.”

I shook my head and moved around him to the front door. Holding it open, I motioned for him to leave. “If Emma comes home and sees you here, or if anyone gets the wrong idea about what’s going on between us, you won’t be the one in the back of a cop car. It won’t be you who gets cuffed and interrogated. It’ll be me.”

He came a little closer, yet he still didn’t make a move to walk out the door. “Kristy, we’re neighbors. Stop acting like someone will call the cops if we say hi to each other. We haven’t done anything wrong, so you have nothing to worry about. Not to mention, if anyone happens to question why I’m here, we tell them the truth. The more you act like there’s something to hide, the more suspicious we’ll look. We’re not guilty of anything. For fuck’s sake, we haven’t done anything.”

“I’d rather not take the chance.”

The heat and whirrs of life outside drifted in, reminding me that nothing had vanished—other than my sanity. My palms grew sweaty and my heart began to thump loudly, sounding far more like a judge’s gavel hitting the bench after a guilty verdict than an organ pumping blood through my veins. It was like my body’s way of foreshadowing what was to come in the near future.

“Fine.” He finally relented and stood half inside and half out, preventing me from closing the door until he finished saying what he had on his mind. “But I’m not giving up, Kris. I won’t do it. You’ve already got me anchored to you—hook, line, and sinker. I’ll leave now, but in five weeks, good luck getting rid of me.”

Once he completely stepped outside, I closed the door and leaned against it, releasing every ounce of air in my lungs until my entire body felt weightless and ready to collapse.

I’d focused too much on making sure Emma didn’t cave to the pressures of high school boys, yet I never stopped to contemplate any other problem that could arise—such as her mother caving to the pressures of high school boys.

Yeah, because every parent should have that on their list of what-ifs.