“What if you lived in Big Sur?” I said under my breath for the fifteenth time. “What if you lived in Big Sur?” I kept practicing as I laid out the blanket, arranged the bouquets of peonies, lit the fireplace, placed dozens of tiny tea-light candles all along the bar, popped open a bottle of red I’d been saving for a special occasion (this one), laid out two wine glasses, and stepped back to review my handiwork.

The Bar looked slightly less dingy and a little more romantic.

Not bad.

“What if you lived in Big Sur?” I said again. I buttoned up my shirt. Re-buttoned it. Smoothed back my hair and re-tied the bun.

Calvin and Lucia had just left, and I felt oddly buoyed by their obvious spark and connection. In so many ways, they faced a similar situation. They came from two different worlds, lived in different places, but I felt like they were just going to make it work. Like you do when you think you might have stumbled upon your soulmate when you were least expecting it.

“What if you lived in—”

A sharp knock at the door interrupted my nervous rambling. My stomach twisted. My heart flip-flopped. I pulled open the door, and there she stood. Leather jacket. Ripped jeans. Combat boots.

Dammit.

“You made it,” I said on a long exhale.

Her smile was like a burst of sunshine. “Did our two lovebirds just leave?” she asked, walking in and shedding her jacket. Underneath, she wore an old Dark Side of the Moon shirt. Her hair was up in a messy bun.

I wanted to kiss her so badly.

“Just left. And they were adorable together,” I said, laughing and heading towards my iPod. I slid through a few playlists before pulling one up.

“I know,” Josie said, eyes bright. “Lucia’s never been this excited about any guy she’s ever dated. It’s pretty amazing.”

“And didn’t I call it the first night we met?” I said, tossing her a wink.

She blushed prettily. “I don’t have a memory of that,” she said, sifting her fingers through her hair. “Not a memory at all.”

I grinned, pressing play, and the sounds of Pink Floyd drifted through the speakers.

“Well done,” she said, slowly turning. “And what is… this?” she asked, voice catching at the end. “Wait… did Gladys and Gloria tell you to do this?”

I rushed to pour her a glass of wine, leading her over to the blanket.

“No,” I said. “Actually… maybe. Okay, yes.”

What if you lived in Big Sur?

I couldn’t read her expression—it was simultaneously open and guarded.

What if you lived in Big Sur?

Might as well get it over with.

“Yes, they did tell me to do this,” I said, sinking down onto the blanket. Josie lowered herself gingerly, the firelight reflected in her eyes. “Because I wanted to talk to you about something.”

She took a long sip of wine. “Okay. I kind of… well, maybe wanted to talk to you about something.”

Hope was an effervescent thing, floating up and around me like dandelion seeds in the wind.

“Good,” I grinned, attempting to keep my voice steady. “Because this is where I make a complete and utter fool of myself by asking you to stay here in Big Sur with me.”

Josie’s eyebrow arched but not necessarily in surprise. Then she took three large gulps of wine.

But she didn’t say anything. So I soldiered on.

“Josie, I want to respect what you’ve been through. With… your engagement and whatever happened there. Which you don’t need to tell me about. Now or ever. But I just want to tell you the truth. No games.”

“Okay,” she said softly.

I took a deep breath. “I really like you. For the past decade, when it comes to love and relationships, I’ve just been… floating along. Assuming it would eventually happen for me. Taking home strangers or tourists when I got lonely. Yearning for a connection I thought might never happen.” I held out my hand, laying it gently on her knee. “And then you showed up. And I know we’ve only known each other for a week, and I’m really not trying to sound like a crazy person here, but I feel a real connection to you. From the moment we met. And I can’t explain it—I truly can’t. Except that I can’t stop thinking about you. Can’t stop wanting to talk with you and make you laugh and walk through the woods and drink coffee in my bed together.” I paused. “You want to keep dominating me? Making me submit to you?” My voice had grown raspy. “Good. I crave it now. Crave giving up total control to you. Because you deserve to have it, Josie.”

I let out a long exhale. “How am I doing?” I asked sheepishly.

“Not too bad,” she said softly, then chugged the rest of her wine in one gulp. “You may continue.”

I laughed nervously. “Listen. You’re supposed to leave tomorrow morning, but the thought of never seeing you again makes me feel like… like… well, like the world is coming to an end. And I know how that sounds… but please tell me you feel even a little bit the same way. You do, don’t you?”

God, I was a nervous wreck. Hands shaking, sweat beading on my forehead. Josie’s eyes fluttered closed for thirty seconds. A full minute. When she opened them, they were shining.

“I don’t want to leave you, Gabriel,” she finally said.

My heart grew wings and took flight.

“Okay. That’s something to work with,” I said, gently because she still had that same skittish look in her eyes—like she had on the night of the rockslide when she’d fled to my bathroom.

“So, can I share my idea with you?”

She nodded.

“Move to Big Sur. We’ll figure something out. You could… shit, you could work here at The Bar. We could find you some place to live. And we could just try. To be together. My parents would love you. My siblings would adore you. You already know Calvin. I think we could build a community here. You could be a part of Big Sur. Like I am. But we’d do it together.”

And I’m not sure what happened. Because her face had gone from openly cautious to terrified in a manner of seconds.

“What?” I asked. “What did I say?”

Her eyes briefly lit on the ceiling, then back onto me. She was so beautiful, features flickering in the firelight. “On the way over, I was practicing what I was going to say to you.”

“Me too,” I said and was rewarded with a smile.

“I was going to say… this is hard for me, but I wanted to see if you wanted to keep dating me. Even though I live in Los Angeles. Long distance. I’m not sure I can promise much more than that.”

“Long distance? You wouldn’t move here?” I asked immediately, then tried to take the words back. But it was the truth. I wanted Josie here. With me.

“No,” she said. “No, Gabe… my entire life is in Los Angeles. A career I’ve spent nearly a decade building. A career I love. My family. Lucia. I fucking love that city. I told you before, I’m never going to leave it.”

I shook my head. “I don’t… sweetheart, I don’t think I can do long distance. I mean, if neither one of us is willing to move to be with the other person, what’s the end goal?”

“So you’re not willing to move to L.A. one day if our relationship continued? Because you could easily get a job as a bartender anywhere. I mean, it’d take you a day. Tops.” Her head was tilted in challenge.

“Of course I’m not willing to move. The Bar is my life. I am Big Sur. My family, we have a legacy here that I want to maintain. I know everyone… I want to live here forever…” I trailed off, wondering how this conversation had gotten out of hand. There were candles! And a fucking fire in the fireplace!

“Wait,” I continued, threading my fingers through Josie’s. “I feel like this isn’t going how I expected.”

“And how was that?” she asked, removing her fingers.

“I thought… I thought you would say yes. I hoped. I mean, I know it’s complicated, but—”

“—what?” She interjected.

“I thought—” Be honest. “For a connection like we have, I thought it’d be easy. The sacrifice. For love, for true love, wouldn’t a person give up anything? Even if it was hard? Especially if it was hard?”

Wasn’t that what love was all about?

“We’ve only known each other a week, Gabe,” Josie said. “I don’t think we can be in love.” My heart lurched as a look of deep disappointment flashed across her face. But what was she disappointed about?

“It’s something, Josie. There is something between us I cannot categorize. It doesn’t fit neatly into any box. And it feels like if you leave tomorrow morning, we’re jeopardizing something that could be real, earth-shattering, mind-blowing love.”

She stilled. “You really think that?”

“Yes,” I said. “And I know how much I’m asking you to give up. I do.”

“Do you, though? In order for us to have a relationship, according to you, I’d need to give up my job. My apartment. My friends and my family.”

The words coming from her mouth made me sound like a selfish asshole. I started to argue but stopped.

Because it was what I was asking her.

“Gabriel,” she said, drawing me back. Tears were silently streaming down her face. Immediately, I tried to reach for her, but she pulled away, shaking her head. “Can I tell you about Clarke?”