CHAPTER 19 – Grace
I love you.
Those words played over in my mind on a continuous loop. Hearing them had broken through any remaining doubts I had about Ink. Over the past weeks, he had chipped away at my uncertainty and with those three words he’d smashed it to pieces. He loved me. Exposing his own vulnerable memories and gifting me more honesty, had snatched me away from the horror of Connie’s death and cushioned the fall from such a heavy sorrow. Only one tear had managed to fall free for her, but more would come later when my mind finally processed what had happened. For now, I was happy to ignore the world outside my cabin and just be with Ink. He was leaning over me, his big hands positioned on either side of my head, holding his strong body off mine. There was too much distance between us, and he was still wearing his jacket. I needed his warmth now more than ever.
“Help me forget,” I all but begged, reaching for his jacket and releasing the zipper.
My eyes were riveted on his face, fascinated by every little feature. The freckle by his right eye, the short beard on his jaw, long dark lashes fringing beautiful blue eyes. Eyes currently full of burning need. As always, my gaze was drawn to my name scrolled down his cheekbone. My name on his body. Once upon a time, he told me it didn’t mean love, but I knew differently now. It was a declaration in its loudest form.
When he pulled away from me, I actually pouted until I realized he was pulling his jacket off, quickly followed by his long-sleeved shirt which he gripped from behind and discarded like only a man can do. His boots were quick to follow and when he looked back at me, his hand on the zipper to his pants, my eyes were fast to drop from admiring his wide shoulders and heavily tattooed arms and chest to watch those fingers slowly peel away his cargos. Embarrassment almost forced me to look away, but the hardness beneath his boxer briefs won over any awkwardness.
This was the closest I’d come to seeing this particular part of a man. Ever. Even when Ink had stumbled groggily around the back of Jebediah’s truck naked, my gaze hadn’t dropped to his body. Hurt nudge its way in and with a small shake of my head, I shook those thoughts away. There was no room for them here and now. My gaze once again dropped to his groin. The world outside could crumble and fall, and I would not look away.
Those deliciously long inked fingers took the elastic from his hips and tugged the fabric down his thick thighs. My mouth dropped open, eyes widened as I watched his erect length bounce under my scrutiny. His dick was long, and thick, with a vein running down one side of its heavy length to a mushroomed head that looked smooth to the touch. From the books I’d seen as a curious young teen, I assumed an excited male’s erection was more erect. Instead, Ink’s dick appeared hard but hung downward, heavy and almost angry looking.
“You keep looking at me like that, and this will be over before it starts.”
His low, husky voice jump-started my frozen stupor, and I found his amused eyes watching me as he lowered himself to the bed, resting alongside me on the small mattress.
“It’s bigger than I expected,” I quietly confessed.
Ink’s smirk transformed into a full-blown grin, one of those elusive ones that I’d never witnessed him share with anyone but me.
“You sure say the nicest things, buttercup.”
Slapping his chest, I scoffed. “It’s not going to fit,” I said with a blush, squeezing my thighs together.
“Gracie, you were made for me, we’ll fit.”
In this moment that was supposed to be romantic and erotic, according to the stupid books Skye made me read, I was having a mild panic attack. There was no way something that big would fit inside me. Of course, I’d experimented with my own fingers in the past, but lifting my hand in front of me now I noted the considerable size difference between him and my dainty digits.
“You’re thinking too hard,” Ink growled, before pushing my hand aside and leaning forward to kiss me.
Warm lips pressed against mine, his tongue dipping into my mouth and tangling with my own. He kissed with an expertise that sent a pang of jealousy into my heart at the most inappropriate of times. All thoughts of Ink’s sexual prowess vanished as his fingers slipped beneath the top cup of my bra. Pulling away, a soft gasp left my lips as the backs of those fingers touched my nipple.
“You like that?” he whispered as he tugged and pulled at the taut bud.
‘Like’ was far too simple a word, and I would have tried to find another except my brain shut down as I absorbed these new feelings. My eyes fluttered shut and my tongue no longer tangled with his as I melted under Ink’s hands. Obviously, reading my body’s enjoyment, he left my unresponsive lips to pull the cups of my bra down beneath my small breasts. Once he had them free, he kissed one tight tip, then the other, then he sucked one nipple, hard and strong, and my body bowed off the mattress.
“Ohhh…” I managed to groan as he continued to play with my nipples, licking, sucking, even biting.
There seemed to be a nerve ending from my breasts to that heated juncture between my thighs because each time Ink drew a nipple into his mouth, that place throbbed with need. I’d barely noticed the whisper of his calloused fingers as he smoothed one hand down my stomach and under the elastic of my plain, cotton panties. Another long, unrecognizable word fell from my lips as one finger slid into the crease between my thighs, touching me there, where no man had ever dared touch before. That finger slipped in, then out, in, then out, over and over again, with long, slow movements. I’d given myself a few orgasms over the years, but none of them compared to the way Ink made that pressure in my body build higher and higher. Then, he disappeared, his mouth leaving my breasts, his fingers gone from under the fabric of my panties.
“Dammit,” I groaned.
Ink chuckled, but moved swiftly down my body, pulling my underwear free from my legs before using two big hands to press my thighs wide apart. I was mortified having him so close to that part of my body, but any embarrassment disappeared as he buried his face between my legs, his tongue sliding into the slit his finger had been in only moments before.
I’d heard about this—oral sex. I’d read about it. Heard Skye talk about it as if it were a holy miracle of devout proportions, and I’d wondered what it would be like. Everything I’d heard was a pitiful drop in what was a vast ocean of sweeping tides. It was… mind-blowing. Ink dipped his tongue into my wetness, tugged my clit with his lips, nipped with his teeth and sucked hard, and I was swept away, gone, falling into a white, noiseless haze. As my body returned from wherever Ink had sent it, I found his strong, hard body over me, one hand positioning himself at my entrance as his forehead rested against mine.
“We can stop right now if you’re not ready to go any further.”
“I want more,” I was quick to blurt out, my face heating.
Ink smiled and kissed the corner of my mouth. “I can give you more,” he breathed roughly. “I’ll be as gentle as I can, but the first time is going to hurt you, baby.”
I’d read that too, but right now I was too blissfully languid to care. Nodding, I lay like a lazy sack of potatoes beneath Ink as he pressed his hardness into me. He was huge, and it pulled tight and uncomfortable almost right away. But true to his word, Ink was gentle, thrusting with slow, shallow movements.
“I never wanted to cause you pain.”
I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the physical pain of our joining or our past, but either way, I’d take every moment of that pain and more to be right here with him now. With one final hard thrust that made my body shift up the mattress, Ink was completely inside me, and I grunted through the pain which was like a sharp, stretched sting.
We lay there, still, joined, and loving each other. Ink’s hands fondly whispered over my body as if he were trying to touch every exposed piece of flesh and memorize every dip and curve. The fullness of having him inside me remained, but the pain eventually dulled as Ink lowered his mouth and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips as if an apology, then he moved. Slowly in and out, much like his clever fingers had done.
“Fuck! You feel so good,” he murmured, lowering his body, so he was covering me much like my favorite blanket.
His chest was against mine, one hand lifting my knee to allow him more room, his other hand under my shoulder, pulling me against his sweat-slicked skin. There wasn’t an inch of us separated, and just like Ink promised, we fit. There was still some pain, but the magic of this moment, the unbelievable beauty of it had my legs hooking behind his ass to drag him closer.
With a long groan, Ink continued to rest his forehead against mine, and he panted hard as his thrusting increased in speed and strength. Harder, faster, more. The feeling of an impending orgasm began to build again, and even though Ink had said this would be painful, any pain was quickly replaced by a tingling pleasure. The walls of my channel clenched at Ink’s cock, and he groaned, pushing himself into me so hard that the bed creaked and groaned beneath us.
“I can feel you,” he grunted with another sharp thrust.
And with that, I was caught in another orgasm, cast into that foggy ocean where everything disappeared except the feeling of my pleasure. It wasn’t as powerful as the orgasm he’d given me with his mouth, but it was no less pleasurable. Ink jerked roughly, growled loudly and sighed with my name on his lips. Eventually, we stilled, and the room came back into focus. With the curtains drawn it was filled with a dull light, the chirping of birds outside the only sound. Resting his head beside mine on the pillow, but otherwise remaining on me and in me, Ink took a long breath in, then out, before lifting to show me those sated eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“Uh-huh,” was all I could manage.
I was, after-all, in a post-orgasmic haze, my body stretched and heated, my virginity gone. Holy shit, I was no longer a virgin. I’d given that precious piece of myself to Ink. My Ink.
“What’s that smile for?”
“You’re mine.”
His nostrils flared with a deep inhale, and his face grew serious. “I’ve always been yours.”
“Not like this.”
His features softened. “I was just waiting for you to grow up, Gracie. You’ve always been mine, and I’ve always been yours.”
We continued to lay there as Ink softened inside me, touching each other, expressing our love without words.
“I didn’t use a condom,” Ink eventually murmured. “I’m safe… I’ve never gone without one. Even with… her.” His body tensed above mine and his eyes slipped off me and peered at a spot over my shoulder. I knew he was referring to his unwanted moments with Jeze.
“It’s okay,” I whispered, wanting to wipe that memory from his mind. “I’m safe, too, I always washed my hands before and after I masturbated.”
Both of us froze, Ink watching me with disbelief and my cheeks flaming with mortification. I’d wanted to move his thoughts away from Jeze, and apparently, I’d succeeded in spectacular fashion. Ink grinned, and I groaned covering my face with my hands. His grin turned into a low chuckle that grew as he finally slipped free of my body and rolled to one side, laughing loudly. I had never heard the sound before, so carefree.
“Glad I was able to amuse you,” I said, trying to sound mulish though it was impossible when I was completely awestruck with his deep timbered laughter.
“You surprised me, is all,” he said when he finally gained back control of himself, kissing my forehead lovingly.
“What now?” I asked after a long silence.
My body and mind were exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. Even as fatigued as I felt, there was too much going on inside my head. Thoughts of Connie spinning around and around on a never-ending loop. The way her body amongst the leaves with morbid gracefulness. The blood.
“I need to go see David and make sure Slink got off okay. Then I need to talk to my men. We’ve got a small stockpile of weapons, and it’s probably not enough, but we need to move. We’re going to take the barracks back. I believe the NIM in the basement will protect us from Jebediah burning it to the ground.”
“What about the people? He’ll use them to flush you out.”
Ink glanced at me, his intelligent gaze thoughtful in that moment. “We take everyone in, the building’s big, like an apartment complex. We create a diversion, sneak everyone in and hold his NIM for ransom. The supplies he has down there must be valuable.”
Rolling from my side to my stomach, I turned my head and lay it on my arms, watching Ink. I could look at him all day long and never get enough. Ink reached out his hand and traced an invisible line up and down my back.
“When will we do it?” I wondered, rays of hope touching the dark puddles of despair.
Ink shook his head. “I don’t know, that’s something I need to talk to my men about. Creating a diversion large enough to draw the soldiers away and allow our people in, is going to take something big.”
He looked at me and grinned. I’d seen so many smiles from this man’s sexy mouth in the last hour, more than I’d seen in my entire life. It made me happy to see him happy.
“We got this,” he whispered. “Get some rest, baby, you’re going to need it.”
Part of me didn’t want to sleep, I wanted to drag Ink from my cabin and set in motion the rough plan he had begun to piece together. Yet, even as excitement coursed through my veins, my eyes drifted shut. My body was languid mush, my mind finally quieting. My last thought before sleep pulled me into its embrace was how for the first time in weeks, I actually believed we were going to be okay.