CHAPTER 6 – Ink
Gracie’s gaze dipped to my groin as if her eyes had a mind of their own. She blushed deeply when she realized what she’d done and was quick to look away. Clearing her throat, she nodded. Reaching out my hand, palm up, I waited for her to take it. Gracie didn’t know what I felt or thought, she had no idea of the strong, beautiful, resilient woman I saw standing before me. She assumed I was still looking at her and seeing a child, and I’d never given her any reason to think otherwise. My regret for how I’d treated her burned deeper, and I wished I could wipe the slate clean and do it over. Guilt was a useless bitch, though. Instead of lamenting on my shame, I decided to begin making amends with Gracie. First things first, I needed her to know I saw her as my equal.
Gracie stared at my open palm for a few short moments, then as her gorgeous mouth swung up into a smile, she placed her small hand in mind. Gently I laced my fingers through hers, my thumb rubbing soothing circles on the soft skin at the back of her hand.
“Okay,” she whispered.
Rather than tugging her through the compound like I usually did, I slowed my stride and we walked side by side in companionable silence. Once we reached her cabin, I unlocked the door, quickly checking that the cozy room beyond was empty. Even though the lock didn’t look as if it had been tampered with, I couldn’t help my driving need to protect Gracie.
Normally, we didn’t lock doors, but with Jebediah’s invasion of our safe community, I’d ordered Gracie to dig out the never before used key buried at the bottom of a drawer. Gracie didn’t bother with the light. Instead, she lit a lantern before making her way over to the old stove heater in the corner. Stripping off my wet shirt, I threw it to the floor. I hadn’t been kidding when I said I was freezing my ass off. My skin almost ached from the ice cold that had assaulted me outside. Gracie was quick to pick up my discarded shirt and added it to a pile of dirty clothes sitting in a basket by the bed. While she was a neat freak, I was the exact opposite. In my own room, most everything I owned had a place on the floor. Organized chaos I liked to call it. I should be more respectful of Gracie’s space and made a mental note to pick up my act right then and there. Using a towel, I dried off my skin as I sat on the side of her bed. Gracie tried in vain to look anywhere but at me.
“Buttercup.”
Her furious glare pinned me in place, and I raised my hands in a placating gesture. “Sorry, it just slipped out. Come sit,” I suggested, patting the space beside me.
She only hesitated a moment before she sat at my side. Taking a deep sigh, I rubbed my tired eyes.
“You need to understand, when I found you in the Underworld, my heart fucking broke. You were this tiny, thin rail of a girl, your hair was all matted, your face was dirty. I knew there were children in the Underworld, but seeing it and knowing it are two totally different things. I picked you up off the floor, and in that moment something inside me shifted. It was the first time I’d ever cared about anything on such a deep level. You weren’t mine in any sense of the word, but you were my responsibility.”
I turned to face her so she could see the honest truth in my eyes. “Just because you grew up doesn’t mean my sense of responsibility toward you is going to change. But what did change, and what I wasn’t expecting, was how I saw you. Fuck Gracie! You went from child to woman overnight. One minute I’m thinking of you as a pain-in-my-ass brat, and the next I’m thinking how perfect your breasts are.”
As expected, Gracie blushed.
“I didn’t know what to do with those feelings. I thought I was a fucking pervert. So, I did the only thing I could think of, I ran.”
“Why? It’s not like I was a child—”
“I know, but at the time I was having trouble reconciling between the child you had been and the woman you had become.”
“So, you thought you’d be mean to me?” she spat out.
“I thought I’d dissuade you. Your feelings for me were as clear as day, and I thought I needed to discourage that. I was an asshole because apparently, that’s something I clearly excel as.”
Gracie snorted, and the room became silent. “I understand, Ink. I get what you were feeling and why you did what you did, but you hurt me. I don’t have much in this world, but I was always content to know I had your friendship, and you took that away from me so ruthlessly it left me with whiplash. I’m not sure how that’s going to heal.”
Her words painted a hopeless picture, but instead of feeling despondent I warmed at the challenge of healing Gracie’s hurt. I wasn’t a healer by nature, but I’d never liked seeing Gracie in pain. She’d fractured her wrist during training when she was fourteen, and her tears had flayed me from the inside out. Ashlynn had set her wrist in a cast, and I’d spent weeks fussing over her, making sure she was comfortable and her pain non-existent. This hurt she felt now wasn’t from a visible wound, but it was no less painful, and I wanted to fix and soothe it just like when she was a young teen.
“I’m not running anymore, Gracie. I know I hurt you and I don’t expect your forgiveness. But you do need to know I’m not going anywhere, and I’m going to take all your anger until you’re empty of it. Then, just maybe, you’ll wake one day and see me as more than the asshole who broke your heart.”
Gracie sighed, her shoulders sagging forward. “You know I don’t have it in me to stay angry at you, Ink.”
“You might think that, buttercup, but I know you’ve got anger under that hurt.”
“Stop calling me that!”
I wasn’t sure I could, she was my buttercup, but not in the way she thought. “Have you ever seen a buttercup?”
Gracie shook her head as she cast me a wary look.
“They are this delicate flower, but at the same time, fierce. Did you know they’re poisonous?”
“You nicknamed me after a poisonous flower?”
Smiling, I nodded. “Fierce, remember? Anyway, Buttercups are bright and beautiful and grow wild just about anywhere. They’re kind of relentless, and strong, like you.”
Gracie’s lips fell into a perfect ‘O.’
“But, because you don’t like it I’ll try not to call you by that name anymore.”
“Well, it’s not that I hate it…” she began.
“I’ll probably slip up, old habits are sometimes hard to break.”
“That’s okay,” Gracie said, all the fire and anger in her voice gone.
Glancing her way, I found her gaze on my chest, and I resisted a smile. When she realized she’d been caught looking at me, her face predictably filled with color.
“It’s okay to look, Gracie.” She snorted but didn’t say anything. “In fact, I wish you would touch me like you do at night when you think I’m sleeping.”
Her embarrassment was so strong it almost permeated the air before it quickly turned to indignation. “You asshole,” she snapped, jumping from the bed.
“Gracie, I like it when you touch me,” I explained, trying hard not to laugh as she beat the blanket at the end of the bed into a perfect square.
“Whatever,” she grumbled.
“Buttercup, I pretend to be asleep because I figure if I let you know I’m awake you’ll stop. I’m that desperate for your touch I fake sleep. How pathetic does that make me?”
She finally stilled, and I stood from the bed, lifting her eyes to mine with a finger under her chin. “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about touching you. Your flesh is so soft, and warm, it’s like a beacon to my hands. But after today, I promise I won’t, not even when you’re sleeping, because buttercup, I want you to want my touch, not just in here…” I pressed my fingertips to the side of her head, “… but in here.” Then I moved them to her chest, right over her heart. “And we’ve got a ways to go before you’ll be ready for that. Meanwhile, feel free to take liberties with me, you can look and touch to your heart’s content,” I added with a voracious grin.
The desire in Gracie’s eyes was unmistakable, but I lowered my hand, and she took a small step away, finding the space she needed to sort through all the words and feelings I’d confessed today.
“I saw Robbie talking to Jebediah earlier.”
The change in conversation was a reprieve for the both of us, and I went about finding some clean, dry cargos while I listened. “What were they talking about?”
Gracie shrugged, her fingers working the messy knot of hair on top of her head free. “I don’t know. It was weird.”
“Weird how?”
“I approached them and asked Robbie if he was okay.”
She looked nervous, and I knew why. I’d told her to stay away from Jebediah. She would never have walked away from a situation where one of Liberty’s people could have been in trouble, though. I couldn’t fault that compassion because it was one of the things I loved about her.
“What did he say?” I asked.
“He was angry at me. Said he was fine and said I should mind my own business.”
Gracie turned her back to me when she noticed my hands dropping to the button on my pants. I quickly tugged them off along with my boxer briefs and pulled on a clean set. Gracie’s interaction with Robbie did sound unusual. Sure, he was a brooding shit from time to time, he was nineteen and still shaking off the hormonal teenage years that made boys mope, and girls chuck a fit for no reason at all. Up until recently, Robbie had one hell of a crush on Gracie, and the only way I’d coped was knowing Gracie didn’t return his affection. Jealousy wasn’t something I was accustomed to but seeing Robbie follow Grace around like a little-lost puppy had tested my limits. Robbie was now dating Prudence though, and as far as I was aware, he was blissfully happy. I hadn’t heard or witnessed any ill feelings he might have had toward Grace.
“I’m dressed, you can turn around. How did Jebediah seem?”
Gracie cast a quick look over her shoulder before turning back to face me. “Just the same smug asshole he’s been since he arrived,” she said with a grimace. “He called Robbie… ‘Robbie the Rumbler’ and said they had business to discuss.”
Business to discuss? Was it possible Robbie was the informant feeding Jebediah information about Liberty? I couldn’t really see how, because Robbie didn’t have access to the outside world. Only soldiers who had completed training went on supply trips. Robbie had only recently shown an interest in joining my team, and had started training a few short months ago.
“You think it was Robbie who told Jebediah about Liberty, don’t you?”
“I can’t see how he would get information out of Liberty, but right now we can’t discount anything.” Jebediah’s admission that he had a ‘source’ within Liberty had cast a shadow of doubt over everyone. It had to be someone who had access to the nearest town, Nelson, which meant it was one of my men. Only the soldiers did runs into town. I needed to talk to Max or Fury about it, they’d both been involved in Robbie’s training and knew him as well, if not better, than me.
“Where are you going?” Gracie asked.
Without conscious thought, I had drifted toward the door of the cabin. “I want to talk to Max and Fury about Robbie, and I need to make sure Charlie, Ace, Axel, and Niall are good for tonight’s patrol. Why don’t I go get something to eat from the kitchen, and we can eat in tonight. Just you and me?”
“That sounds nice,” she admitted in a voice little more than a whisper.
“Lock up behind me.”
Regaining Gracie’s trust in me and repairing the damage I’d done was going to take time and patience, something I felt I might not have with Jebediah’s presence in Liberty. I would still take every scant moment I could of making her feel special and reinforcing the bond between us which I had broken.
I’d only taken half a dozen steps when a wide, looming figure appeared on the path before me. Even in the low light I knew it was Fury. His bulk was unlike any other inside Liberty, something akin to a hulking giant. He was as heavily tattooed as me, most of his ink being dark, angry tribal designs. His brow was creased with anger and his dark eyes full of rage, his lips set in a tight and flat line. It was nothing unusual, for Fury harbored plenty of rage, hence his moniker.
“Somethin’s going on in the field,” he said by way of greeting.
“What kind of something?” I asked, as Fury turned and slipped into an easy gait at my side.
“Not sure. But there’s hammerin’ and buildin’ going on.”
“What the fuck could they be building?” I wondered out loud, scratching at the stitches above my eye. I’d have to get Grace or Trigger to cut them out, the deep cut had healed quite well.
“Looks like seatin’… a few platforms maybe.”
Pausing by Niall’s cabin, I turned to face Fury.
“Seating for what?” When he didn’t answer me right away, I could see the calculated way his eyes were set on the ground between us.
“What are you thinking?”
Even though Fury had lived his entire life in seclusion, he was a smart man. He liked to read, and he loved puzzles. I valued his opinion.
“He calls Liberty the Arena now.” I nodded, encouraging him to go on. “Maybe he’s thinkin’ of doing somethin’ like King did in the Underworld. An arena… a fightin’ arena.”
Fury’s idea had merit. If Jebediah was building seating, it was obviously to watch something.
“He’s definitely obsessed with Kingsley Duke and his fighting cage, he seems just as crazy, maybe more so. I wouldn’t put it past him.”
Curiosity had me wanting to take a walk to the center field and check it out myself. As if sensing my line of thought, Fury shook his head
“They’ve stopped workin’ now, and they’ve got guards set up, it’s tighter than a duck’s asshole. Just wanted you to know,” he said, turning to leave.
“Fury?”
Slowing, he glanced back over his shoulder.
“Need you to keep an eye on Robbie. Gracie saw him talking with Jebediah today, he seemed agitated.”
Fury didn’t say anything, only a slight nod confirmed he’d heard me before he turned and disappeared into the darkness. My stomach took that moment to make a loud grumbling noise, reminding me I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Making sure my men were discreetly armed and ready for a quiet night of stealthy patrols, I headed for the kitchen.