The spot next to me is cool for the first time in nearly a week, since V’s proclamation of slowing things down. It was something that I would have never expected to come out a man, associated with my brother’s club. Their usual modus operandi was to fuck first and ask questions later. The brain below the belt often was the prevailing thinking in their man to dick relationship. But he was different, and I couldn’t thank him enough for it. The brooding alpha male ego was hard to deal with, and finding someone who was still all male, yet so down to earth was refreshing.

Night after night, we spent time together in the confines of my room out of my brother’s watchful eye, getting to know each other mentally. Though he made sure that he kissed me silly, until I feel asleep in his arms, after watching one of the many movies in his collection. Super Troopers was a little crazy for my tastes, but he had slowly introduced me to the new Marvel comic book movies one by one. In sequential order of course. It was a little odd to find out how much I was starting to like them. The characters reminded me so much of some of the men in this clubhouse, and of V. I think I could have knocked him over with a feather, when I told him that I hadn’t really seen many movies. How could I, when the government controllers dictated so much of my life? Leaving my house outside of work was too much of a risk, and I found myself drowning in books rather than movies to pass the time.

The attraction I felt for V was growing every day we spent time together. And again, his drive to make time for me was just as unexpected, as the way I felt about him. He made me feel important as odd as it sounds. I was always an afterthought with my dad, with my brother, and with the few guys I had dated in my life. Maybe it was the kind of guy I was seeing or the situation of my childhood, but until V, I was never someone’s number one priority. Even though, some of it was the fact he was in charge of me. It just didn’t feel like I was a job for him.

It was exciting. For the second time in my life, a man had swept me off my feet in tremendous fashion. The only difference between this time and the first was that he was right in front of me, living and breathing.

Beauregard’s hold on my heart seemed to be slipping away. The initial driving need to talk to him was fading, but I still found myself texting him from time to time. Maybe it was out of habit or maybe it was for closure. The answer was lost to me despite the fact I knew that many days without contact could only mean one thing. He’d moved on in my absence, which both relieved and frightened me all at the same time. My mind was a category five hurricane of confusing emotions. It raged out of control, and the only time it seemed to still was when V was around, even though he was the exact opposite of Beauregard. He was dangerous and walked on a thin line on the right side of the law. Yet as I learned more about him, my stance of no bikers and definitely no members of this club were slipping.

The nights that V spent with me here in my room was a constant barrage of new information about him. He talked about the loss of his parents to a drunk driver, while he was studying computer technology at Tulane with so much heartfelt emotion. It was like I was living with him right there in the moment. I could feel his pain, fear, and most of all the love he had for them, and his sister, Remy. Growing up in New Orleans had been rough on his family, but together they had made it through. He was first and foremost a family man, and even years later, V still looked after his little sister and nephew Beaux from a distance. His eyes swelled with pride, as he told me stories about them, and shared a few photos. His nephew was a spitting image of him with a mess of black hair and striking blue eyes. Even at the age of five, Beaux was already too smart for his own good, something that made V laugh. His sister was in a heap of trouble should he end up having a tenth of his uncle’s spirit inside of him.

The smile he wore was genuine, when he spoke of them, and it warmed my heart like a hearth on a cold day.

V’s presence was comforting to me. He listened, as I talked about my family life growing up. He listened to me like I do to a patient. Never casting judgment, and I even caught him a few times growling, as I talked about my father’s reign of terror. He had thankfully been gone, when V joined the club. I doubt my father would have even allowed him to join because he wouldn’t have seen the usefulness of having someone that was good with computers on the roster.

Am I crazy for even considering moving forward with V? This wasn’t the life that I had wanted, but now I had caught myself on more than one occasion thinking about what life would be like here with Voodoo. A thought that baffles me because I didn’t even know this man’s real name. In any other courtship, that would have been the first thing exchanged in polite conversation. Just another reason why this entire thing was such an enigma for me. I wanted him, but to possess him would mean giving up every plan that I had made, since I was a little girl. Was I willing to do that?

After sliding from my bed alone, I make quick work of showering and getting ready for the day. Just as I’m about to leave my room, I spy a surprise waiting for me on the edge of the bed. V had been back in here. Why else would I find a little brown teddy bear with a leather vest wrapped around its body? I snatch up the small token of his affection in my arms, and cling to it, detecting just a hint of the woodsy scent of his cologne lingering on its plush fur. Smiling, I tuck it between the pillow at the head of the bed, and head out the door in search of food.

The smells of sizzling bacon and waffles float down the hallway, making my stomach growl. Most mornings, V leaves my breakfast in my room, but today, it was nowhere to be found. He had warned me that there would be days where he would have to be away to work on the case. His absence hurt, but I had to understand. He was trying to protect Ginny and I along with his brothers. I couldn’t fault him for doing his job, even if I missed him.

I peer around the room and find that nearly all of the brothers are missing in action. The tables are empty, except for a few of the club girls seated off to the far side of the room, and Ginny sitting alone. She twiddles her fork in a circle as I approach, and she smiles when she notices me heading her way.

“What’s good around here?” I ask, trying to open up a dialogue with her. Ginny’s eyes seem distant today. A sign that she was battling her anxiety that I had learned to recognize in the years I have worked with her.

“The bacon is a little burnt, but the waffles are pretty good. Get the blueberry syrup,” she advises me, with a monotone voice.

She’s definitely about to have an episode. I just have to hope that I’m in time to help her through it, before she hits the bottom. Ginny’s mental situation is volatile, when she’s like this. One small misstep, and it would blow up in all of our faces.

I step away to grab breakfast, and keep my eyes trained on her the entire time I shovel a few waffles on my plate with three nearly black pieces of bacon. I’m not sure which of the club girls cooked, but they really need lessons because I’m almost positive a necromancer couldn’t resurrect this slice of pig. It was about as dead as it could get.

I re-join Ginny at the table, while she remains silent. Her emotionless expression indicates that her mind is a sea of turmoil. I shovel my food in quickly, as I realize this needs to be handled now rather than later.

“Ginny?”

“Yes?” she answers flatly.

“Why don’t we go over to my brother’s office and talk? You look a little lost today.”

“Okay,” she replies, as if she was a robot answering to his designer. Her mind has taken her personality away from her, and she’s slipped into the darkest realm of her psyche.

I pop up from the chair, reaching out for her. She takes me by the hand and doesn’t let go, as I lead her down the hallway towards the office. I peer into the room, and find as I has suspected that my brother is absent. While I probably should have asked for permission to use it, Ginny is more a dire need. I’ll just ask for forgiveness later.

I gesture for her to sit in a wooden chair at the front of his desk, and I take his overly large executive chair that overwhelms me. Ginny nervously fidgets in front of me, breaking my heart.

“Let’s talk about how you are feeling right now. Any feelings at all?”

“I’m scared,” she admits.

“Fear is a very real thing, Ginny. We’ve talked about that in so many of our sessions in the past. But the real question is what has triggered your fear impulse this time? I want you to close your eyes and really focus on it. Take the darkness and mold it into words.”

Ginny complies, closing her eyes and steadying her breathing like I had taught her to do. She remains like that for several minutes, before peering back at me.

“It’s like the fear is taking over my brain. Every noise scares me to death. One of the bikes backfired this morning, and I dove under my bed. I didn’t move for a few hours, until Ratchet found me there.”

“And what about your brother? What do you feel when you think about him?”

“I feel shame and betrayal. Looking back now, I should have listened to him. He was trying to protect me, and I was hurt when he sent me away.”

I let her reflect further with a silent pause. For nearly three years, I had been waiting for Ginny to reach this point. She had placed the blame wherever she could for her situation, but deep down, the root of the cause was the one she was finally revealing to me now. I had to let her keep going without interjecting, as long as I could. The more fear and anxiety she released from her mind, the better she would feel later.

“My brother was always the stronger of the two of us. When mama and daddy died, he watched over me. When that man tried…” she mutters, stumbling to find the words. I remind her to take a deep breath and continue when she is able. “When that man tried to molest me, he fixed that problem, too.”

My heart aches for her, as the demons who inhibit her mind are being set free.

“Jude was my everything. My rock, and I threw him away, as soon as he started making decisions that I didn’t like. I thought I knew better, and I know now that I was rebelling against him trying to control me.”

And there it was. Ginny breaks down in sobs, as her head falls into her hands. I move from the chair and kneel down beside her, taking her in my arms, as she cries away the pain. She sobs uncontrollably, until there’s nothing left inside to cry about. She pulls away from me, and wipes the tears from her face.

“I ruined your shirt,” she remarks, looking down at the stream of wet tears that stain the fabric.

“It can be washed,” I declare to her. “How do you feel?”

“I feel free. For the first time in my life, I feel free.”

She smiles the first genuine smile that I have ever seen, since I met her. Her aura even seems lighter.

“I think you know it’s time to talk to your brother. Tell him everything that you just told me. I think you’ll find after you do that your mind will be clearer.”

Ginny nods as I stand up. We walk to the door together, and she slips outside of it ahead of me to find her brother. My eyes fall to V’s closed office. I take a few short steps over to the door, pressing my ear against it. There’s nothing, but silence inside. My heart aches just a little bit knowing that he’s still not here.

I return to my room, as an eerie sense of dread wafts over me, when I notice the door to my room is cracked open and Voodoo sits inside with a dark scowl across his face.

Something has clearly happened, and it’s not good news.