Chapter Seven
Harper
I fumble with the small heart locket I’m trying to put around my neck. It’s because I’m running late and in a hurry that I have trouble, I tell myself.
“Hey,” Teague says, walking into our Jack and Jill bathroom in her robe. “You’ve been trying to put that on for five minutes. Let me help.”
“Thanks.” When her fingers find the clasp, I gather my hair off my neck and stare at the silver locket situated against my bare skin. Maybe I shouldn’t wear it.
“There. It looks really pretty, Harp. I haven’t seen you wear it in a while.” She tilts her head to the side so it touches mine and admires the necklace’s reflection in the mirror.
“I’m not sure what possessed me to put it on tonight.”
“Were you thinking about him today?” Teague asks softly.
“More than usual, I guess, yeah.” Joe gave me the necklace for my sixteenth birthday. His gift was the hardest one to accept when a week after my party I sat down with my family to open my presents.
“Then it’s good you put it on.” She kisses my cheek and walks back to her room, leaving me to contemplate if that’s true. For a long time, I didn’t open the locket, thinking I’d be devastated all over again to see a picture of Joe and me together. Eventually I caved and looked inside. It was empty, which disappointed me on some level, but relieved me, too. Rubbing the smooth metal between my fingers now, I wonder if Joe meant for me to put a picture from my birthday party inside it.
“Whose house is the party at again?” Teague calls out, saving me from my troubling thoughts.
I let go of the locket and square my shoulders. I didn’t put the necklace on to bring me down. “The maid of honor’s. You remember her. Her boyfriend is the chef.” The party is a wedding shower-slash-bachelorette-slash-bachelor party for Colleen and George.
Teague pokes her head into the bathroom. “Got it. Rochelle, right?”
“Right.” I pick up the curling iron and run it through my straight hair. “I wish you were coming. I’ll probably be the only one without a date.” This shouldn’t bother me. It’s a party. I’m good at parties, with or without a date. But for some reason, there’s a huge knot of apprehension sitting heavily inside my chest.
Teague pops back into the doorway. She’s half dressed in a cute little black skirt and pale pink bra. “Whoa. Back up there, sister. Since when did this turn into a date thing?”
“Since the wedding got moved to next month. Tonight is a couple’s party of everything rolled into one, including the bachelor party.”
“Let me get this straight.” Teague slaps a hand on the doorframe. “There’s going to be boys at this party?”
“That’s what I’m told.”
“And you’re not bringing one.”
“Nope.”
“Because?”
“I don’t need one.”
Teague disappears for a minute then reappears wearing a cute sleeveless top that shows a hint of cleavage. “You do in this case.”
I put the curling iron down on the counter. “Why?”
“Because it’s the polite thing to do.”
“How do you figure?” I finger comb my hair until the large, loose curls cascade down my back.
Teague leans over the sink and looks in the mirror to apply mascara. She and Mateo have dinner plans tonight. “The party is for couples. That means if you show up without a date, Colleen is going to feel awkward. Especially since you’re a bridesmaid and her cousin. And if she’s uncomfortable, then she won’t have as good a time.”
“I don’t think she’ll care.”
“She’ll tell you she doesn’t mind, but she really will. Brides want everything, including showers and bachelorette parties, to be perfect. Plus, on top of having wedding worries, she’s got pregnancy hormones making her act like an unreasonable person a lot of the time.”
“Fuck.” Teague’s right. I should have thought about Colleen and not myself in this situation. “I don’t have time to ask someone to go with me now.”
“I’ve got a guy,” Teague offers, her lashes now spectacularly long. “But you’re not going to like it.”
“It’s almost seven o’clock on a Friday night. I can’t be picky at this point. Wait. Since when do you have a guy?” I cross my arms over my chest. Before Mateo, my sweet best friend had sworn off getting within five feet of a penis.
“Since Mateo.”
“Oh no. I’m not taking Levi or Elliot.” Elliot will make a big deal of it, and I don’t want to give him any wrong ideas. And Levi…all week I’ve thought about him. How amazing he is with a camera. How devoted he is to his family. I can’t believe he shared so much about his ex with me. Every time we’re together I learn more about him, and the more I learn, the more I like. Which, in a normal girl, would make her happy. But I’m not normal. I haven’t been since my sixteenth birthday. What I feel for Levi scares the shit out of me.
Teague puts her hands on my shoulders. “This is just a few hours, Harp, nothing more.”
We look each other in the eye, and both know that’s not the case with Levi. I’ve told her about him. Not every little thing, because even though she’s my best friend and the closest thing I have to a sister, I don’t allow myself to be that vulnerable with anyone.
I don’t tell her that if anything bad happened to Levi, I’m not sure I could deal with it.
“How do you know he doesn’t already have plans?”
“He?” She drops her arms and smiles innocently.
“We are not having this conversation again.” The one where she tries to sell me on a relationship with her boyfriend’s best friend so the four of us can live happily ever after together. And I don’t mean Elliot. Not that there’s anything wrong with Elliot. He’s hot in a business-suit, corporate way, if you like that sort of thing.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She picks up the mouthwash and pours a little into the cap. “So, Levi. I don’t know if he has plans tonight or not, but he owes me a favor.”
This is news to me. “For what?”
She pours the contents of the cap into her mouth and swishes it around. A few seconds later, she spits the mouthwash out into the sink. “I can’t tell you.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Never mind, then.” I turn and march into my room to slip on my heels. There is no way I want to get in the middle of a favor from Levi. Actually, I guess I would be the favor, which is worse.
“Harper,” Teague says, trailing behind me. “Don’t be so…”
“So…?” I bounce down on the foot of my bed and reach for my shoes.
“I don’t know. Proud? Let me at least give him a call and see if he’s available.”
“Why won’t you tell me about the favor? I tell you everything.”
She raises her eyebrows and looks down her nose at me. “That’s almost true.” She spins around and takes the spot next to me, bumping my hip. “But that’s okay. And this is one of those things I can’t tell you.”
“Fine. Call him.” I’ll just ask Levi what Teague did. A couple of drinks, a few accidental touches, and he’ll spill.
“Be right back.” She pads away in her bare feet in search of her phone, I assume.
I fall back onto my bed, eyes on the ceiling. This is a mistake. It’s bad enough I have to be with Levi for the next two Saturdays while we film. I hate feeling like I have no control around him, like my emotions are out of my reach and closer to his. There’s more than attraction between us, and I can’t let myself go there. I’m not sure what’s going on in his head, but I’m worried that if we do hook up, it won’t be so easy for me to say never again.
For the hundredth time, I wonder if I should be over Joe’s accident. My mom thinks so. She says hearts break, but they eventually heal. But how is that possible when I can’t forget the sight of Joe’s cold body? His blue lips. The smell of his soap mixed with tequila and chlorine, and the devastating agony of holding him in my arms, helpless and guilty. I never should have taken him near the pool that night. If we’d gone anywhere else, he’d still be alive.
How does a person ever process being up close to death? One night and my life changed forever.
“Levi is on his way over,” Teague says, strolling into my room with an extra bounce in her step.
I sling my arm over my eyes. “Of course he is,” I mumble.
“He did have plans, but he said he could get out of them.” She lifts my arm away from my face and gazes down at me. “It’s not a big deal.”
“It kind of is.”
She tilts her head then lies down beside me. “What if you just turn off your brain, have some naked fun, and leave it at that.”
“I’m pretty sure I said something similar to you about Mateo, and look what happened.”
“True. But I wanted to fall in love. You don’t. Not yet.”
“Not ever.” I sit up. “But you’re right about tonight. It is about fun and making sure Colleen has a good time, nothing else.” I can be around Levi and not be bothered by feelings.
The doorbell rings and Teague pops to her feet. “That’s Mateo,” she says excitedly.
I follow her toward the front door, veering into the kitchen for an apple. I need something to do while I try not to think about Levi and hanging out with him tonight.
Mateo is lip-locked with his girlfriend the second he sees her, one hand on her ass, the other on the back of her head. I clear my throat. “Hi, Mateo.”
He continues to kiss the shit out of her for another minute before looking up with a grin plastered across his face. He glances over Teague to meet my gaze. “Hey, Harper.”
“Nice greeting.”
“Can’t help myself.”
“Just be sure you don’t steal all the air out of my girl’s lungs.”
Teague spins around wearing a blush. It’s adorable how my best friend still turns every shade of pink when there’s an eyewitness to anything physical between her and Mateo. “We’re gonna go,” she says. “You’re good, right?”
“I’m good. You two kids have fun tonight. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Teague’s cheeks turn even pinker. With Mateo, there’s nothing my best friend won’t try. She 100 percent trusts him and is devoted to him. He’s devoted right back. The two of them are adorable and nauseating at the same time.
I toss my apple into the trash then fiddle with the tray of appetizers I finished making before getting dressed. Tonight’s theme is “A Perfect Pair” so I made lobster mac and cheese. I put small servings in shot glasses and topped each one with toasted breadcrumbs. I’ve paired them with a couple of bottles of buttery chardonnay. I totally googled this combo. I know nothing about wine, but being that mac and cheese is my specialty and I love lobster, it was an easy pick. I’ve also got a bottle of sparkling apple cider just for Colleen. I can already picture her sad face when she doesn’t get to drink with everyone, so hopefully this makes her happy.
A few seconds before Levi knocks, I have the feeling he’s right outside the door. Worse, jitters slide down my spine like this is a first date. Which is ridiculous. This isn’t anywhere near a date. It’s a favor, and the lesser of two evils, I quickly decide. The decision calms me down. Slightly.
“Come in!” I call out, walking around the kitchen counter.
Pants Charming lets himself inside with an ease and confidence that sends a strange thrill through me. That he looks drop-dead gorgeous in jeans, a beige-colored fitted designer tee, and stubble on his angular jaw, doesn’t help. “Hi,” he says, closing the door behind him.
“Hi.” I search the room for my purse, hoping he doesn’t notice how much his being here affects me. “We need to hurry. Mind grabbing the tray of appetizers and the bag of wine on the counter?”
“Not at all.”
“So, I hear you owed Teague a favor.” I can’t help saying this now rather than later. If we can get the matter out of the way, maybe I can relax. Not that being close to Levi elicits calm inside me.
“Looking for this?” he asks instead of answering me.
I turn to find him standing by the kitchen table holding up my purse. He’s also smiling. He wears smiles like he’s got a million of them to give, but more than that, his face is filled with warmth. Intimacy. It’s impossible not to be taken with him when he looks at me with familiarity and hot-blooded desire.
“Yep.” I zero in on my small bag, putting all my focus on the outside pocket. “Thanks.” I wonder if I can get through the rest of the night without looking at his face again.
“Nice outfit. Sorry I’m not more dressed up.”
“No worries.” I don’t dare glance back up at his expression, but I guess he’s looking me over. Tonight’s attire is a short, pale-blush raglan-sleeve body-con dress. Levi’s shirt and my dress go nicely together. You could say they’re a perfect pair.
Which is not what I’m thinking. Not. Not. Not.
He clutches my purse to his chest when I reach out to snag it. My eyes jump back to his. I’m close enough to get a whiff of his body wash and notice his hair is slightly damp. Was he on his way to another date when Teague called?
“Do you mind?” I say, suddenly mad at him for everything. It’s his fault I burned my finger on the pot of boiling water earlier. It’s his fault I ran out of shampoo in the shower. And it’s his fault I left my car lights on the other night and needed my neighbor’s jumper cables.
He arches his eyebrows. “Are you tapping your foot at me?”
“Maybe.”
“You were too far away.” He says this like I know what he’s talking about.
“What?”
“You were too far away,” he repeats. “And I minded.”
I grind my teeth and tug my purse free. “You are not allowed to let things like that bother you.”
“Then you’re not allowed to look so hot in a dress.”
“I can do whatever I want.” I twist around before he catches a glimpse of my mouth stretching into an unwelcome smile.
“But I can’t?”
“Nope.” I’m about to pick up the tray of appetizers when Levi traps me against the kitchen counter, his front to my back and his arms on either side of me with his hands on the stone worktop. I freeze.
“Last I checked, it’s a free country.” His warm breath fans my ear, which shouldn’t be a big deal, but somehow it has me squeezing my thighs together. “Which means I’ll do whatever I please.”
He smells so good. Looks even better. And when he couldn’t care less what I say in these entertaining situations, I want him to do me. Thankfully, he backs away before I forget myself. I use the space to steal a moment and close my eyes, rubbing my necklace between my fingers.
“I’ve got this,” I say, lifting up the lobster-mac tray. The Levi-effect is mostly gone now, thanks to my birthday reminder. “Would you please take the wine?”
“Sure.”
We talk about basic stuff on the drive to the party. It’s nice, but not exactly relaxed. I’m hyperaware of his hands on the steering wheel and the way his shirt molds to his shoulders and biceps. I’m ready to leap out of the car when we reach our destination. By the number of cars parked in front of Rochelle’s house, we’re one of the last to arrive. “Hey,” I say before we head right inside through the large, white-painted front door, “you never told me why you owed Teague a favor.”
Levi thinks about it for a second. His expression is hard to read. “That’s not why I’m here.”
“No?”
“No.” He’s adamant about his answer but doesn’t elaborate. “Come on. Sounds like there’s a lot of fun going on without us.” He opens the door, and we’re quickly swept inside, all thoughts of favors forgotten.
Colleen’s eyes widen when she sees Levi at my side. “Hi!” She gives me a hug then waits for me to introduce her. George wanders over, and the four of us fall into easy conversation. “I’m really glad you brought someone,” Colleen whispers in my ear while Levi and George talk about baseball. “I was afraid you wouldn’t.”
I have to admit when couples are pitted against each other for various games, I’m glad I brought someone, too. I’m as competitive as they come, and apparently, Levi is, too.
Right now, for example, we’re sitting beside each other on a small loveseat in the living room. We’re ready. Eager. We each have a paddle in our lap. On one side are the words I have. The other side says I have not. I glance at the rest of the couples spread around the room. I have no idea how this game is going to go, but I’m excited to play.
“Okay,” says Rochelle, the uber-organized hostess standing in the center of the room. “First question. And remember, you have to be honest with your paddles and score sheets. Here we go… Have you ever had sex in the backseat of a car?”
I don’t have to even think about my answer. I lift my paddle and show Levi “I have.” His paddle also reads “I have.” Yay! Not that he’s had sex in the backseat of a car, but because we both answered the same way. I give us a point on our score sheet for question number one. Couples get one point when their paddles match and zero points if they don’t.
“Have you ever spent the night sleeping by the toilet?” is Rochelle’s next question.
Levi has. So have I. We get another point. “One too many Madras?” he asks, remembering my drink of choice.
“No, actually. Tequila shots. What about you?”
“Sadly, no alcohol was involved that night. Or maybe not so sadly, since I have spent an hour or two praying to the porcelain god before, and it sucks.”
“Explain,” I say. “The sadly part,” I clarify. I understand the rest.
He gives me a cute little half smile like he was about to explain the praying part. Smartass. “It was a stupid April Fool’s joke.”
I motion for him to continue. I need more info than that.
He sighs like the incident embarrassed him once, but it doesn’t anymore. “Mateo and Elliot reversed the lock on my bathroom door, and I had to sleep in there all night. Made a pillow out of a towel and slept on the floor.”
I laugh. “No bathtub?”
“No,” he says with an affable grin.
Rochelle clears her throat. “Have you ever gone commando?”
Once again, Levi and I answer the same way. As I give us another point, I wonder if he’s commando tonight. I picture him shirtless, wearing low-slung jeans, the top button undone, his arms out to the side with his hands gripping the doorframe to my bedroom. I’m lying on my bed, waiting for him. The image is so vivid, I startle when he says, “Ham?”
Shit. I missed the next question. “Sorry. What did she say?” I whisper.
“Have you ever been skinny-dipping?”
I have not. Levi has. Damn it. No point for us. “You’ve never skinny-dipped?” he asks incredulously.
Before I can tell him no, Rochelle says, “Have you ever eaten food that fell on the floor?”
I’m kind of ashamed to admit this, but yes, yes, I have. So has Pants Charming, which makes him even more endearing. We tap paddles. It’s a paddle bump. “Five-second rule,” we say at the same time. I’m around kids all the time for my swim lessons, so obvs. And he’s got nieces and nephews, so it makes sense.
We also get points for the next three questions:
Have you ever faked being sick to stay home from school or work? Yes, we have.
Have you ever broken a bone? Nope, neither one of us.
Have you ever been awake for two days straight? Paddle bump!
“What did you just say?” Levi asks, the corners of his mouth lifting to a lethally sexy angle.
Fuck. I said “paddle bump” out loud. “I asked what kept you awake that long.”
He tilts his head and drops his chin, an okay-fine-we’ll-play-it-your-way move that earns him yet another smile from me. “Axl’s birth. He’s the first grandchild, so we were all at the hospital, and I couldn’t leave or even close my eyes in the waiting room until I knew everything was okay. Amelia didn’t have the easiest pregnancy, and her doctor had said the delivery could be difficult, so my mom was especially anxious. I kept her occupied by playing Words With Friends. What about you? What kept you up?”
“A bet in college with a guy friend. It turned into a big fraternity-sorority thing with his friends bringing him Red Bull and mine bringing me Mountain Dew. He dozed off before me.”
“What did you win?”
“Bragging rights. And he had to dye his hair our college colors, which looking back, wasn’t even the slightest big deal. School pride and all.”
“So you’re a betting girl,” Levi states, an unfamiliar note in his voice.
I shrug.
“Last two questions,” Rochelle announces, drawing my attention. I’m kind of sorry the game is almost over. It’s been fun learning more about my date. I mean Levi.
“Have you ever had a sex dream?”
My eyes meet Levi’s before we show our paddles. A total accident. I meant to look somewhere else, but those milk-chocolate orbs are magnetic or something. It’s annoying. And arousing. Because right now he’s eye-fucking me. Does this mean his sex dream was about me? I hold his gaze. Two can play this game. I’ve had a sex dream about him, too. More than once, even. Take that, Pants Charming.
His eyes move ever so slightly to check out my paddle. “Looks like we get another point.”
“Looks like.”
“Who’s gotten points for all the questions?” Rochelle asks, relieving me from Levi’s hold. I look around the room. None of the couples answer. “Who’s only missed one?”
“Us!” I answer.
“Us, too,” Colleen says.
It’s weird that we’re tied with my cousin, since we’re so not a pair, Levi and me. But the game really comes down to luck, nothing else. Levi and I aren’t soul mates or anything. Colleen raises her eyebrows and shoots me a WTF look. I know! I shoot back. Who would’ve thought?
Rochelle straightens her shoulders. “Okay, then. Last question. Have you ever been naked with the opposite sex in public?”
I know for a fact Colleen has been to a nude beach and there were men there, because she told me in great detail all about their dick dangles. So, the question is, has George stripped with any females nearby? I’d bet my first-place medals he hasn’t.
Once again, Levi and I make eye contact. His shine with amusement, and all of a sudden we’re laughing. Softly at first. Then louder. Harder. We raise our paddles to show the room we’ve got this.
“What’s so funny?” Colleen asks, her voice light even though her paddle doesn’t match her fiancé’s.
“Levi and I have been naked together,” I manage to eke out through my laughter.
“When we were little,” he adds.
“A lot,” I giggle.
I’ve laughed more tonight than I have in a long time. It’s nice. And as the party people around us stand, move about to grab another drink or more food, and fall into group conversations, the boy I learned to swim with keeps me to himself with talk of favorite movies. He rattles off film after film, who directed and starred in them, and how much they grossed. He asks me to name the one movie I can watch over and over again. The Wizard of Oz, I tell him. I’ve seen it at least a dozen times. When he talks about cinematography in both classic and present-day motion pictures, his eyes sparkle with passion for filmmaking.
Sometime after midnight, we say our good-byes to Colleen and George. As we walk out to the car, I’ve got the bottle of champagne Levi and I won. He opens my door, waiting until I’m seated to circle around to his side. He’s been attentive all night. And I’ve liked it.
Before he puts the key in the ignition, he looks at me. The car’s dome light is enough to see his face clearly as he reaches over to brush the pad of his thumb gently across my cheek. “You had an eyelash.”
It’s no less than the tenth time he’s touched me tonight, but now that it’s just the two of us in the small confines of his jeep, I shiver at the brief, innocent gesture.
“I had a fun time tonight,” he says, pulling his hand back.
“Me, too. Thanks for coming with me on such short notice.”
He turns the engine on, a smile evident in his profile. That I’m the reason for his happy face feels good. The last guy I made grin slyly like that was…
“You saved me from meeting up with Trixie, so I should be thanking you,” Levi says, and I immediately latch onto those words. Trixie? Nanny Trixie?
“Oh?” It’s the only word I can get past the lump in my throat. I hate lumps. It was obvious at the bar a couple of weeks ago that Trixie liked him. And how stupid am I to think tonight was anything other than a favor? I forgot myself more than once during the party, but I won’t let it happen again.
“She’s a nice girl, but she doesn’t know how to take ‘I’m busy’ for an answer. Plus, she’s friends with Kayla.” He makes a left on Wilshire, driving us away from Brentwood.
His ex and Trixie are friends? Do they still see each other? I wonder how Levi would feel if he saw Kayla again. Pregnant. Or with a baby. She’ll always be this weird, painful reminder of his past.
“Looks like I did you a favor tonight, too, then.”
“You definitely did.”
We stay quiet for a bit until I slip the bottle of champagne from between my legs and place it on the floor. We’re about to pass the Electric Fountain, lit up and glowing in hues of green and blue, when Levi says, “I know it’s late and we start shooting in what, eight hours or so, but you up for a little more fun first?”
I should say no and get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, or rather today, is important, and after being sick last weekend, I need to be in top PSA shape. But one glance over at Levi, his hair tousled and sexy, his eyes alight with mischief, and I can’t say no.
“What did you have in mind?”