Chapter 17
When they arrived home, Emily met them at the door, Eleanor in her arms.
“She seems quite distressed. She was fine most of the afternoon but this past half hour she has just cried and cried. Her tears are silent. It is just heart-breaking.”
Emily smiled at Robbie’s sister. “She shall be fine. She still finds this large house a little strange and is not used to you or the servants yet. Give her to me and I shall settle her.”
“Did I do something wrong?” Emily’s eyes were wide with fear.
“No, of course not. Eleanor is different to other children. She takes a little more time to adapt to her surroundings. It is difficult to explain things to her.”
“It is why she needs a tutor who is trained to work with deaf students,” muttered Robert.
Lucy frowned at him. How dare he use this situation to try to coax her into marriage.
Emily still looked unconvinced. “Emily, she was like this a few times with Susan.”
“Susan was cruel.”
“Mayhap sometimes but I do not think she was cruel all the time. I have seen Eleanor like this when I have had to leave her with a friend once before. Even the presence of the boys cannot soothe her. She needs me. I am sorry to have been away so long.” She gave Robert a significant look. He did not flinch or look at all chagrined.
“Well, as long as it was nothing I did.”
“No dear. I am sure you were fine.”
“I do worry that I shall be a terrible mother.”
“Oh Emily, you shall be a wonderful mother.”
“I keep telling her that,” It was Lord Beattie, entering the hallway. “There, did I not tell you the child just needed her mama.”
“Oh, I am not her mama.” The lie sliced through Lucy like a knife, but Lord Beattie gave her a curious look and Emily gave a tiny shake of her head. He had obviously assumed or thought all the orphans considered her their mama.
“I should take Eleanor up to the nursery,” she said.
“No please, stay and have tea with us. I saw the horses approach and ran for it. She seems quite settled now. Eleanor is welcome in the drawing room. Nurse is looking after the boys.”
Lucy did go to the drawing room for tea and discussion turned to rather mundane topics, such as the weather, the May Day fair, the boy’s schooling, and events in the village. When tea was over, Lucy excused herself and took Eleanor to the nursery. But Eleanor would not be settled. It took until after ten o’clock before Eleanor eventually fell asleep in her arms. Lucy had sent her apologies that she would not be down for dinner. A tray was duly sent up, but she did not eat it. She did try to convince Eleanor to eat a little with some degree of success.
When she arrived back in her bedchamber sometime after ten o’clock, there was a letter lying on her bed. Thinking it may be a note from Lord Whitsnow, she opened it.
Dearest Miss Butterworth,
I note that your behaviour since your dalliance with Lieutenant Dick has not improved. Shall we increase the cost of keeping your secret about your bastard child to six hundred pounds. I am sure, despite the Earl of Whitsnow’s fondness for ruined young ladies, or perhaps for ruining them, he would not want to marry such a creature and take the chance that the first babe in his nursery was somebody else’s bastard.
I am happy to keep the secret that you cannot keep your skirts down and your legs closed. As I said, the price has just gone up.
Consider your behaviour, Miss Butterworth. We should hate for the people of the village to learn what a lightskirt you are once you have paid your penance.
A concerned Subject of King George III
Bile rose in her throat and she ran to the basin next to her ewer on the dressing table. She retched but nothing came up. After three more heaves, she had still cast up absolutely nothing from her empty stomach. Water filled her mouth and she allowed it to drip into a linen as tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks. Another hundred pounds. Could she really ask Robert for another hundred pounds to keep her secret? It was unfair. Of course, she would pay him back but the whole charade was getting ridiculous.
But the thought of the look on his face. Now she was not sure if he would be disgusted she had given birth out of wedlock or that she had denied her own child these past five years. He could certainly never take a bastard into his family.
And it was one thing to accept that Eddie had convinced her to do the deed with him. Perhaps she had painted Eddie as the villain. She had been willing, if only to prove to Eddie she loved him. With Robert it was different. She wanted to experience the act itself with him. After everything that had happened at the waterfall, she knew it was going to be so different and so pleasurable.
She called the maid who quickly and efficiently helped her undress and prepare for bed. The maid seemed to understand she was in no mood for talking tonight and organised her clothes for the morning before taking her clothes from the day and bidding her goodnight.
Lucy opened her book, hoping Mansfield Park may take her mind off the happenings in her own life.
She realised she was dozing and not taking a word of the book in when the door connecting her bedchamber to her dressing room opened and her book slid from her lap.
She looked through half closed eyes at Robbie, standing in a dressing gown, frowning at her.
“My love, you’re falling asleep.”
She rubbed at her eyes. “I can wake up.”
“No. You look like you need three nights’ sleep instead of just one.”
“We were going to do it.”
“Not with you half-asleep we were not. Come, let me slip in beside you and hold you until you fall asleep.”
“Hmm, that sounds nice.” He nudged her over in the bed and he slid in beside her, his dressing gown still on, then he pulled her hard against his body. She was able to wriggle away a little to untie the belt of his dressing gown.
“Darling, what are you doing?”
“I want to feel your skin.
“As long as that is all you are doing.”
She ran a hand over his bony but soft skinned hip. Then between them and found his long hard arousal.
“Robbie, it is hard.”
“Leave it alone and eventually it shall not be hard.”
“How long shall it take to go soft?”
“With you in my arms? Oh, I should think about thirty years at the very least. Now go to sleep and stop touching parts of my body.”
“Robbie.”
“Hmm?”
“I need another one hundred pounds.”
“Why?”
“The price went up.”
“How?”
“I was a very silly person.”
She snuggled into his chest He was so warm, and everything was becoming very hazy. She was sure he asked in what way she had been silly, but it seemed her lips could not move against the skin of his chest. So, she stopped trying to speak and succumbed to the warmth and comfort of Robbie’s embrace.