ELEVEN

 

The really, truly surprising moment was when Aaron realized that he didn’t even want to win the sparring match. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that he didn’t know if he wanted to or not.

Brad’s words had burrowed into his ear, and no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t get them to stop echoing in his head. Could he really be a huge star? He had always thought that the way he held himself apart would make that impossible. He didn’t sparkle in interviews, and he didn’t even do interviews if he could get away with it.

He had always assumed that would make him just a part of the band. The brooding one, which, judging from his fan mail, some people had a thing for. But to carry an act all on his own?

It was like a curtain had been raised, and a world that had been hidden from him was finally revealed, but only in a tantalizing little flash. Was it possible, or was it nothing but a tease?

He couldn’t stop thinking about it, and the more time he spent with Brad, the more he found it stuck in his head. Brad, who was smart enough not to push too much, while still being honest about what he wanted. Brad, who was earnest and smart and who would doubtless do anything that it took to make Aaron big if Aaron only accepted what he was being offered.

After the shower, Aaron lapsed into a bit of silence as he went down to his car, which he had parked nearby the night before. Brad walked by his side, and Aaron didn’t know why he was there, but he didn’t exactly hate it, either.

Finally, they stopped, and there was a moment that spun slowly between them, something almost, but not quite, awkward. Neither of them could look away, though Aaron knew that it was his job to do it. His job to get into the car and drive away and, if he was very smart, never look back.

So he turned to do that, put his hand on his car, and then, without any permission from his brain, his mouth opened and words were coming out that he should never, in a million years, have said.

“I want to see you again.”

What he was expecting, he wasn’t sure. For Brad to deride him, maybe, to make fun of him, or if Brad was feeling generous, maybe to be gently reminded that they had agreed that they wouldn’t make a big thing about this.

It definitely wasn’t, however, to see a slow smile cross over Brad’s strong face, to watch as his lips stretched wide into something that was really not able to be described as anything but a grin.

“Okay.”

Aaron blinked, standing in the weak autumn sunlight, head tilted slightly to the side as he looked at the older man. Okay? Just like that, it was okay for them to say stuff like that to each other? He had expected some sort of chastisement for what he had said, but it seemed that he wasn’t going to get it.

“Okay,” Aaron echoed, and there was another of those little silences that fell between them, which Aaron was coming to love more and more because it meant that he got the time he needed to think things out. Brad seemed to be the same way, too, which was more comforting than it maybe should have been.

“I should tell you, though, I’m not that much fun to date,” Brad warned, and Aaron, remembering the events of the night before, when Brad had taken him out to dinner, had to snort softly. Somehow, he doubted that.

“Try me,” Aaron challenged, and Brad’s grin turned into a bit of a smirk. They stood together, probably too close, but no one was watching, no one was stopping to stare. They were, for the moment, at least, safely anonymous.

“Tonight. Eight o’clock,” Brad’s eyes gleamed with a challenge of their own, and Aaron, not about to step down, nodded. Suddenly, he felt like he could fly, just float right up into the air, buoyed up by the sheer, pure joy that he was feeling.

Them dating was as bad an idea as it had ever been, but that wasn’t stopping them from falling into bed together every chance they had. It was probably better to admit what it was and to keep some sort of control over it that way.

“Okay. I’ll text you my address.” Aaron frowned slightly. “We have to keep this a secret, though.”

“Of course,” Brad nodded, and only then was Aaron able to slip into his car, still smiling and pleasantly warmed by the little smirk that Brad was giving him. It was a look almost as intimate as a kiss, which, of course, they couldn’t exactly do right here.

It was only when Aaron was driving away that he realized something. He didn’t need to keep it a secret for himself. Who would care? It wasn’t like anyone was under any illusions about his sexuality.

He was keeping this secret simply to keep Brad safe, to keep him from losing his job, as he might if this got out. Lara might just be forced into action, and the Lost Boys needed Brad.

And maybe, just maybe Aaron needed him, too.

 

* * *

 

The day passed slowly, too slowly by far. Aaron tried to keep himself busy, but he kept glancing down at his phone, surprised when only a few minutes had passed when he could have sworn that it would have been at least half an hour.

He went to see his sister, which he knew would distract him, but she was out. Maybe even at school, Julie mentioned, and against all of the odds, even with everything she had seen, all the things she had been through, the challenges of dealing with kids that no one else wanted to deal with, there was still hope in her eyes. She still dared to dream that Leah would find her way out.

Then it was rehearsal, and even though the new songs were beautiful, and even though they had to keep them absolutely perfect for when they had to perform them on stage soon, even that couldn’t hold Aaron’s attention. He just had to hope that the rest of the band was paying less attention to him than he feared. His habit of staying in the background should help with that, he hoped.

He didn’t really like the thoughtful look that Lance gave him right as the practice was over. And it was at the worst time, too, because it just so happened that Lance was looking right at Aaron when Brad came into the room to check on their practice. And even though Aaron did his best to keep his gaze cold and professional, well, he wasn’t sure that he wasn’t wearing everything that they’d done right on his face.

But he and Brad were both discreet, and it was probably just Aaron’s guilty conscience that made him feel like Lance knew, or suspected. Because if Lance knew, then obviously he would tell his husband, and if they both knew even oblivious Ken would probably pick it up.

It was a relief to get out of the studio, to leave his bandmates with their perceptive eyes behind, even if it left him at loose ends for the rest of the day. How he would get through the long hours, he wasn’t sure.

He felt stupid about it, but after all, it was his first real, official date since he’d left college. Even then, he’d been too busy studying to go on a lot of dates, so this was, if not uncharted water, at least unfamiliar.

Then, at seven o’clock, he had to face something that he’d never even had to think about before. He was going out, and he had no idea where. Though it wasn’t a usual thing for him to think about at all, he had to wonder …

… What was he supposed to wear?

It was pretty much the biggest cliché in the world, but he had simply no idea. He’d been so underdressed last time when Brad had surprised him with that fancy restaurant.

Well, he was who he was, and Brad was just going to have to accept that. He wasn’t going to moon around like some idiotic teenager. Honestly, he knew that he had already done enough of that sort of thing today. So he wore his normal style of clothing, just jeans and a nice shirt.

It had been good enough to get Brad to take it off the night before, after all, so it was probably fine now.

The good news was, Brad was on time. Even a few minutes early. When the knock came at the door, Aaron actually let out a soft sigh of relief, because the waiting was over. With a deep breath, he went to open the door.

His whole life, he had been waiting for the right time to let this happen. While other kids his age were dating, Aaron was studying. Was this finally the right time? Looking at Brad, smirking on his doorstep, he couldn’t help but think maybe it was.