NINE

 

At first, when Aaron’s eyes flickered open, he was sure that he must be on tour already. Why else would he be waking up in a room that he didn’t recognize? In a bed much bigger and more comfortable than his own was?

Even the light felt different here, cleaner, somehow. Aaron hadn’t spent a lot of his money, and he was still living in the small apartment that he had found after his parents’ death. His thoughts had always been, he would move when his sister came to live with him, but until then, he was good.

But there were advantages to a nice place, and Aaron yawned and stretched, glancing around him in slightly muzzy, sleepy confusion. Where was he? And why was there someone, a big, strong arm, wrapped around his waist?

And then he followed that arm up to a well-formed shoulder, and up further to a strong chin, just slightly darkened with masculine stubble. A full, seductive mouth. And then, glimmering golden eyes, looking at him with some amusement as Aaron figured out where he was.

Brad. He was with Brad. The one thing that he had told himself that he wasn’t going to do he had done. He had slept with Brad again, and not only that, but this time he had spent the night. If there was anything more forbidden than the sex, this would be it.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Brad murmured, his voice lowered with sleep, and Aaron studied his face thoughtfully. When he had met Brad, he had thought he was the most handsome man that he’d ever seen, in his severe, solemn suit which only enhanced his good looks instead of hiding them.

But Brad with his dark hair all messed up, with his face creased from the pillow, that was something else entirely. Something that his heart wasn’t going to be able to stand if he kept looking at him, and yet he couldn’t make himself look away.

“Hey,” Aaron returned the greeting cautiously, though it was probably a little bit too late for that. Talk about closing the barn door after the horse has already escaped. Not only had that horse escaped, but it had been running free for ages, and Aaron had the idea that he wasn’t going to catch it.

So did that mean that he should just accept what was going on here? Whatever it was? After all, the sex was incredible, and that date had been a surprising amount of fun. And Brad had more to lose than Aaron did, considering that Aaron was on his way out anyway.

It was a weird thought to have, suddenly. Maybe all of this time with Brad wasn’t a good idea, because Aaron was starting to have doubts. Did he really want to leave this life? Of course, there was Leah to consider, but Brad knew about Leah. Wasn’t it possible that, as a solo artist, Aaron might just have enough time to help her, too?

Ridiculous thoughts, of course. Starting a new career was a lot of work, and he was fooling himself if he thought otherwise. And yet …

Well, it was just getting a little hard to let go of, that was all. Which was probably Brad’s plan, Aaron thought suspiciously.

Only it was a little hard to maintain that suspicion when Brad leaned down and kissed him. At first, it was a light kiss, since they were both still waking up, but Aaron, at least, wasn’t prepared for the way that it made his sleepy body feel. It was like he was more vulnerable than ever to Brad, and he softly groaned as he parted his lips and let their tongues tangle together once more.

It was an odd sort of dynamic because they wanted each other as much as ever, but their limbs were still a bit heavy, their movements filled with both lust and a languorous quality that Aaron found fascinating. It was so easy just to let himself get lost in it, to let everything build between them, touching and stroking and exploring each other further.

In some ways, Brad was the best of both worlds. Someone who seemed to fit effortlessly with Aaron, and yet someone who was still very new and exciting. It was strange, but Aaron couldn’t get enough.

“Hey,” he murmured, when their complicated, sleepy kiss finally ended, leaving both of them panting. “Do you ever bottom?”

He just figured it was better to get that question out of the way, because, well, there could be no doubt that he was thinking about it. Brad had a very well formed, lovely ass, and Aaron would be lying to them both if he pretended that he hadn’t been thinking about it.

There was a long, long silence, and a subtle wariness crept into Brad’s eyes, a slight withdrawing that Aaron regretted the moment that he felt it happening. He had thought that it couldn’t hurt to ask, but maybe he’d been wrong. After all, Brad gave off some pretty toppy vibes.

“No,” Brad told him, his brows furrowed, his full, generous lips pulled into a straight line. “No, I never have.”

As far as Aaron was concerned, that was the end of it. Yes, he wanted to do it, he wanted to be inside Brad, but it wasn’t something that he absolutely needed, and he was going to take that as a sign of Brad being uninterested. But then Brad spoke again.

“I would try it,” Brad admitted, completely shocking Aaron. “If I was really with someone and trusted them.”

At first, Aaron couldn’t get past his shock, but as he slowly thought about the words, he realized that Brad was just saying that he would never do it. Aaron knew something somehow about Brad. It was almost instinctive, maybe because Aaron was the same way.

Neither of them trusted easily, if at all. Aaron at least had the other members of the Lost Boys, and if he trusted anyone, it would be them. As far as he could tell, Brad didn’t even have that.

Aaron nodded, accepting that for what it was worth. Someday, maybe, Brad would meet someone that he would trust, and he would go there, but Aaron saw no reason to think that person would be him. Besides, knowing what it would mean to Brad, would Aaron even want it to be?

So he let the strained, awkward conversation go, and he was sure that it was as much of a relief to Brad as it was to himself. Instead, he crawled on top of Brad, cupping his face and kissing him, letting it build and build until the heat, the pressure, was so much that he had no choice but to push further.

It was just so easy, whether it should have been or not. So very easy to let his body flow against Brad’s, to rub his own growing erection against Brad’s.

To let himself feel, even if it was only just sex. He’d had no way of knowing what it would be like to let that happen since he hadn’t let himself feel since the day he had found out that his parents had been killed.

“I want you to ride me,” Brad murmured, his hands settling on the curve of Aaron’s ass, tugging him closer. It was interesting, being with someone so much bigger than him because it was no problem at all for Brad to tug him around, to adjust him as he liked.

Brad shifted up, his back against the headboard, reclining back against it. Aaron straddled him, his hands pressed against Brad’s chest to steady himself. The way Brad said those words, the intimate look in his eyes, it was too much for Aaron to resist, even if he’d wanted to.

“Condom?” he managed to get the one word out, and Brad pointed to a drawer beside the bed, which, indeed, when Aaron opened it up did have condoms and lube inside. It took only a second to roll the sheath down Brad’s impressive cock, but there was a sense of power to it that Aaron sort of got off on.

He was the one on top. He was the one driving Brad crazy with his hands, the one slicking the lube over Brad and taking the chance to stroke him as he did. He was the one making Brad make incredibly sexy little noises, the one making Brad moan and push up against him.

It was him, and Brad could have whatever issues he wanted to have about bottoming, that was fine. As long as Aaron could throw his leg over Brad, as long as he could lower himself onto him, as he was doing, then he was fine. More than fine.

The way Brad was stretching him open, he was damn near incredible, actually. Brad didn’t know what he was missing out on.

The remnants of sleep still gripped Aaron, and it forced him to slow down a little bit more than he usually would have, especially when he wanted someone as much as he wanted Brad. He rocked on top of him, swiveling his hips to take that amazing cock right against his prostate, little moans spilling from his lips in a way that he couldn’t even help.

Brad’s hands rested on the subtle curve of Aaron’s slender hips, encouraging his movements, seemingly more than happy to let Aaron do all the work. Which was a sign of trust in itself, wasn’t it? It was so different from their first time when it had all been heat and passion and rushed with Aaron spread out over the desk.

No doubt that had been amazing, but so was this. With no chance of being caught, with nothing to do but relax and slowly wake up fully as they rocked together, Aaron’s hands on Brad’s chest, steadying himself as he gazed down into Brad’s eyes.

It would have been intimate if they had been different people, Aaron supposed. It might have meant something if it could. As it was, it still felt really, really good, and for once in his life, Aaron just let himself get swept up in something, let feeling good be enough of a reason without having to overthink it.

It didn’t mean anything at all, the way their eyes linked as they moved together, the way Brad’s hands rested possessively on the curve of Aaron’s ass. Sex was all this was, all that either of them wanted, and Aaron tried to tell himself that, to hold onto those thoughts, as the waves of pleasure started to crash around him, to build, to threaten to sweep him away completely.

He held on for longer than he would have thought he could, telling himself over and over that it didn’t matter, that it meant nothing. Until Brad’s hands tightened on Aaron’s ass, and the other man gave a soft cry as he spilled inside of Aaron. It was then that the pleasure completely overwhelmed him, sweeping him away entirely, and then he didn’t think of anything at all.

 

* * *

 

There was no cuddling after, just like the first time. Aaron hadn’t expected there to be, and he was most definitely not disappointed. He wasn’t. When Brad rolled out of bed and into the other room, Aaron lay back in the soft, comforting embrace of the bed and tried not to think about anything at all.

He heard the shower start and sighed softly to himself. Brad was so eager to literally wash all traces of what they had done away, but that was for the best. Better for him to know what this was, better for them both.

Oh, but when Brad came out, with just a towel knotted around his waist, his chest broad and his arms toned and strong, Aaron couldn’t help but stare. He just couldn’t. He had always had a thing for big, strong men, and Brad, under his fussy suits, was exactly Aaron’s type.

The suits thing, well, that was a bit new for him, but on Brad, it somehow worked, which didn’t make it less heartbreaking when Brad picked out another suit and started to dress silently, transforming himself, in a few moments, from a sex God into a business God. A very, very sexy one, but still.

“The shower is all yours,” Brad offered and then disappeared out through the door, while Aaron forced himself to stand up. A shower did sound good and even drew him out of bed.

The bathroom was still steamy, and it smelled like Brad, which Aaron tried to ignore. He started the water going again and stepped under the spray, which he turned up as hot as his skin could stand it. Like he could scour himself of not only the dirt and sweat on his skin but also of the memories which were far too compelling.

It didn’t work. Even turning his face to the hot spray didn’t save him from himself. He kept thinking, and slowly, his brain turned away from the events of just a few minutes and to the previous night.

And not just to the sex, either, which might have been all right. Sex was fine, or at least inevitable, between the two of them. But Aaron kept thinking about how it had been to go out with Brad on what he couldn’t help but think was a date.

Was it possible to date someone you were working with, he wondered, as he poured Brad’s shower gel onto his hand and started to lather up. Could he make that work? Would Brad want to?

And then there was this thing with the contract. If he signed the long-term one, that would make Brad his boss, no doubt about it. His manager, just his. But what about Leah?

More and more, he was starting to wonder if there was some way to make all of this work. Wasn’t it possible? Shouldn’t he at least be looking at it, since he had to admit, at least to himself, that he wanted it?

He wanted a solo act. Hadn’t every kid who had taken dance classes and voice lessons dreamed of a day when they would be on stage, all eyes on them, the bright lights making everything shimmer and sparkle until you couldn’t even see the audience anymore? But you could hear them, always hear them, and be lifted up by the waves of their adoration.

Yes, Aaron had wanted that. But he wanted his sister to be safe more. If there was a way to do both, then he was interested in at least thinking about it. But that did seem to be a bit impossible, so he turned off the water, clean now, and stepped out to wrap himself in a big, snowy white, clean towel which Brad must have left out just for him.

Once he was dressed, and out of the billowing mist in the bathroom, Aaron smelled coffee, and the crisp, salty smell of bacon and eggs frying. Brad was cooking breakfast, because the other man needed to be more adorable, more irresistible, to Aaron.

Damn it, he was still screwed, and he still had no idea how he was going to deal with that.