SIXTEEN

 

 

For whatever reason, Justin seemed pretty quiet. It sort of worried Ken, who was definitely getting a very real sense that Justin didn’t let people into his house very often. Or maybe at all. Was this going too fast for the older man? Was Ken rushing into something all over again?

Ken, uncomfortable and awkward and unsure of himself, perched on the very edge of the couch, stealing occasional, furtive little looks over at Justin. There was a thoughtful quality to the older man’s face and a sort of sadness, almost, that made Ken ache deep down inside to reach out and touch the man.

Well, maybe that wouldn’t be appropriate, given the strange state of things between them, but he could at least talk to him, right? No law against talking. So, hating the tentative feeling of his movements, Ken leaned back into the plushness of the couch and shot a little smile at Justin.

“So what’s up?” Maybe there was a more tactful way to go about this, but Ken had never been especially noted for his tact. This probably wouldn’t be the time to start, and anyway, it seemed like Justin actually sort of appreciated the blunt approach.

“Hmm?” Justin murmured, his voice indistinct, his eyes far away. But when Ken spoke, those eyes sharpened a bit, like Justin was coming back to him, and that, at least, felt good.

“It felt like you were not really here.” And it was true. Justin got more lost in his own thoughts than anyone that Ken had ever met before. “Is something wrong? Do you want me to go?”

Ken held his breath after saying the words. The offer was sincere, but he couldn’t say that he hoped it was an option that Justin took. To his vast relief, though, Justin shook his head and even smiled at him as he reached over and took Ken’s hand, drawing him gently closer.

“No. I don’t want you to go. It was just weird for me to introduce someone to my daughter, I guess. And I’m sort of freaked out about what’s going to happen next, because she really, really liked you.”

Wow. That was honest, and yes, it seemed like the blunt approach was definitely the best way to go when it came to Justin. He returned it with equal bluntness, and for Ken, who was used to people far more subtle than he was, it was a huge relief to know that Justin would just say what he meant if he were asked.

“I liked her, too. So what are you freaked out about?” They were close enough now that Ken could wrap an arm around Justin’s shoulders, and while those shoulders were tense and hard at first, Ken felt them soften as Justin laid his head against Ken’s chest.

“That I’ll let you in. Into my life, and Jade’s, and then you’ll just take off,” Justin admitted, and Ken felt his heart clench, and a strange, tingly, burning feeling took hold in his eyes, making him need to blink rather rapidly.

That was the most open, honest thing that he’d ever been told, he was pretty sure about that, and it showed so much vulnerability, which was something that Ken had always been punished for. For Justin to say such a thing, well, there was no denying that it touched Ken, and he pressed a quick, but fierce, kiss to the top of Justin’s head.

“I can promise you that I won’t just take off,” Ken told him impulsively. It was probably a bad idea for him to make a promise like that, but after Justin’s openness with him, what else was he supposed to do? Besides, he meant it. “Look, babe, to be honest with you, this thing between us, I haven’t felt anything like it before. I want to see where it goes.”

There was a pause that seemed to drag on forever, or at least for long enough that Ken was sure that he’d made a mistake in speaking so openly himself. After all, when had he ever been rewarded for that? And Justin had literally just said that he was nervous about letting someone into his life more than he already had.

“Hey, Ken?” Finally, after what felt like an hour but probably was only a few minutes, at most, Justin spoke again, and Ken looked down into his eyes as Justin raised his gaze to meet Ken’s.

“Yeah?” Ken asked, more tentative than he usually was, bracing himself and saying very firmly in the depths of his own mind that whatever Justin said next, he wasn’t going to take it too personally. If Justin told him to back off, well, Ken had certainly learned some lessons about backing off since joining the Lost Boys.

“You want to stay the night?”

It was probably the last thing that Ken would have expected, and a grin, which wouldn’t leave his face for anything, stretched his lips wide, so widely that his cheeks started to hurt and he felt like an idiot. But at the same time, he didn’t even really care, and he somehow doubted that Justin did, either.

“Yeah,” Ken admitted softly, and, hand in hand, they got up as if they shared the same mind, moving in perfect unison, and wrapped their arms around each other as they headed to Justin’s room.

 

* * *

 

They had both undressed and watched each other closely as they did, and there was an undoubted air of sensuality in the room. A tension which grew slowly, but surely, between them, an erotic air to everything that either of them did which tingled on the edges of Ken’s nerves and made him more exquisitely aware of everything.

But, though it all built very slowly, but surely, into something more intense than anything that Ken had ever felt before, it didn’t turn into sex. They didn’t even kiss as they lay down in bed together, completely naked, both of them fully aroused but just lying beside each other.

Something was happening, something that Ken didn’t even really know how to put a name to because it was utterly outside of his experience. Somehow, he knew that he and Justin would have sex, but only when it felt right. Until then, there was, oddly, no rush.

Slowly, after some amount of time had passed but not anything that Ken could measure in minutes, Justin turned to Ken, and the hot, aroused length of his body rested against Ken’s, his cock throbbing against Ken’s hip. Softly, lips open, Justin started to trail a length of kisses over Ken’s chest, not stopping until his sweet, soft, lush lips were pressed right against the hardening nub of Ken’s nipple.

Groaning softly as the wet heat of Justin’s mouth surrounded the sensitive skin, Ken raised his hand and cupped the back of Justin’s head, trying to encourage him. But the whole thing was done slowly, languorously almost, like they were both moving deep, deep underwater and the pressure was stopping it from speeding up.

“Justin,” Ken moaned, and then, by some miracle, Justin was slipping his hand down Ken’s body, stroking over his sides, his stomach, his fingertips trailing sparks as they snuck further down all the time.

Ken gasped softly as those fingers pressed against the head of his cock, and it twitched as precome leaked from it. With a groan, Ken arched his hips almost lazily up toward the stimulation, and he only got harder than ever as he realized that Justin was grinding his own dick against Ken’s hip, leaking his fluids all over the skin there.

Why was this so unbearably hot? Ken tended to be pretty rough and tumble in bed, and this was pretty much the exact opposite of what he would expect to be into. But at this moment, with the things that he and Justin had said to each other still resonating in the air between them, it felt perfect.

Justin gripped Ken, stroking him slowly, so unbearably slowly, from the base of his aching dick all the way to the leaking, slick tip. His grip was firm, just short of actually painful, and Ken found himself helplessly writhing as he was touched in a way that he hadn’t even known would be perfect for him, but which was, totally and completely.

It all built up into something that Ken barely knew how to deal with. Was this what it was like, sex with someone you really, truly cared about? Only that wasn’t it, was it? Because he had cared about Darien, and the other people that he’d taken into his bed, and this was different.

So another question was in order here. Was this what it was like when there was love involved? For the first time, he let himself think the word as it related to Justin because for the first time he thought there was a chance that Justin could feel the same way about him.

“Hey, babe?” Justin murmured, his hips rocking slowly, his cock grinding and slippery against Ken’s skin. “Do you ever top?”

That made Ken laugh softly, and he turned his head to look at Justin, to seek out his lips and to give him the slow, lingering kiss that seemed to fit perfectly with the rest of what they were doing. So weird to not be rushing it, but so amazing, too, to feel the build-up, to wonder how far they could go before neither of them could take it anymore.

“Yeah,” Ken admitted. “I usually top. Why?”

He knew at least one reason that Justin would ask that, but he didn’t want to assume anything. Though really, what else could it be? Why would Justin ask him that, if he didn’t intend to do something about it?

“I want you to fuck me,” Justin murmured, a slight smirk on his full, sinful lips, his eyes glimmering in the low light. “Do you want to?”

Ken considered that and then shook his head, seeing the surprise on Justin’s face and not above feeling a little bit of bratty pleasure at it.

“No,” he told the older man, and then he gripped Justin and rolled them both so that Ken was on top of him, hip to hip, their cocks leaking and throbbing against each other. “I don’t want to fuck you, baby. I want to …” For just a moment, he hesitated. He’d never said these words to another human being, and they had to sound so hokey, but it was what he wanted, and he didn’t know a better way to put it. “I want to make love to you.”

The surprise on Justin’s face deepened, but—a little to Ken’s own shock—it didn’t change into the derision that he might have expected. Justin didn’t make fun of him for it, he simply nodded, apparently accepting it.

“Okay. I’m in,” Justin said simply, and Ken groaned as he rocked his hips, still relatively slow and careful about it, still building the tension between them. He knew, he could tell, that soon they would both be at the point of no return where they had to have each other, where they needed each other like they needed to breathe.

Honestly, he wasn’t far off from that point even now.

Slipping down, he kissed over the toned, tight little body of the man under him, even nipping lightly at the skin around his navel and his hips. With more care than he usually ever showed, with the desire, above all, to make Justin as crazy for him as he was for Justin, he licked at the thick, blunt head of the other man’s cock, tasting the salty-sweetness of his precome.

“Damn it, Ken,” Justin moaned, his voice deep and throaty and hoarse. “Are you trying to drive me insane?”

“Yes.” Ken’s answer was simple enough because it was nothing but the truth. With infinite care and more patience than Ken had known that he was capable of, he slid his lips down so that he had the entire head of the older man’s cock in his mouth. And his lips slid down the shaft in a way that had to be nearly excruciating to Justin, as worked up as he clearly was.

“Well, it’s fucking working,” Justin groaned, and he reached for Ken, gripping his head between his strong hands. But even so, he didn’t actually push Ken down onto him. In his own way, Justin was allowing Ken to do what he wanted.

And what Ken wanted was very simple. He wanted to be inside Justin, which he had really never thought would happen. He wanted to slip inside of him, feel the embrace of his inner walls as they clenched down on Ken’s cock. He wanted Justin to groan and cling to him as Ken pushed inside, and he wanted to feel Justin’s ass tighten as he came around him.

So yeah, he wanted Justin crazed with desire. He wanted Justin to want nothing more in the world than to be taken, and while he wasn’t normally big on patience, he knew what he needed to do to get what he wanted.

While he sucked him, tasting the slippery sweetness of his fluids on his tongue, Ken slid his fingers down between Justin’s ass cheeks, toying with the sensitive skin there before pushing his fingertip inside.

“Oh fuck, baby,” Justin moaned, and Ken smirked up at him with his eyes. For a while, he just teased him like that, pushing his finger slowly, slowly deeper, until Justin was writhing and leaking more than ever into his mouth. Only then did he pull away.

“Do you have lube, sexy?” Ken asked, and Justin nodded and grabbed a bottle of it from beside the bed, tossing it over to Ken. With that firmly in hand, Ken poured the slippery stuff over his fingers until they glistened, and then he worked them back in as he went back to sucking Justin’s beautiful cock.

This time, though, when he penetrated him with his fingers, they slid in smooth and easy, and Justin’s whole body tensed when Ken, with unerring fingers, found the other man’s prostate. Ken let his fingertips rub against it, deliberately massage it, and it wasn’t really all that long until Justin was writhing for him and making the most gorgeous little noises that Ken had ever heard.

“Fuck, Ken, Ken, babe,” Justin whispered, his voice broken and rough as his hips pumped up, seeking out more stimulation than Ken was giving him at the moment. “Now. I need you.”

Was it enough? Hell yeah, it was enough, especially since, while Ken had been trying to ignore it, his own body had been throbbing and aching, his cock swollen to the point where the head was almost purple with desire and slick with his own precome.

“Justin, I …” Ken started and then grabbed the condom that Justin silently handed him and rolled it down over his own cock. Those words, they kept almost slipping out, and sooner or later he was going to lose control and say them and probably ruin everything.

“Now!” Justin insisted, his strong legs locking around Ken’s waist, tugging him in. They kissed again, hungry and needy for each other, and all of Ken’s careful control threatened to vanish right out the window.

“Now,” Ken agreed and positioned himself, pressing between the cheeks of Justin’s ass and lodging his sheathed head against the entrance to Justin’s body. Justin had been prepared so well that he and was open and slippery, and it was the easiest thing in the world to just slide inside of him.

And at that moment, as Justin writhed and pressed up against him, when he felt the hot clench of his muscles, his hands on Ken’s body pulling him closer, it was then that Ken learned what it was to really, truly be with someone that he was actually in love with. Not infatuation. Not some sort of crush which was really never going to be returned, but with someone who he loved.

He would do anything for Justin. Including back off and leave him alone, if necessary, because Justin was everything to him. Justin’s happiness was more important to Ken than his own, and that was something that he had never felt before.

“I love you,” Ken whispered, just as he had known that he would. His voice was very quiet, as was everything about their joining, but Ken could hear those three words, and he was sure that Justin could, too. “I love you, Justin.”

For a moment, Ken felt the sharp sting of fingernails in his back as Justin clenched onto his shoulders with surprise, and Ken was sure that he had made a horrible mistake. He should have somehow held his feelings back, or better yet, he shouldn’t have let himself feel them at all.

They moved together so flawlessly even through all of this, though. Ken thought that his body would have said the words, even if his lips didn’t, and despite his emotional torment, Ken started to tense up, to feel the pleasure that Justin always so effortlessly gave him start to build, even at a time like this.

“I love you, too, Ken,” Justin finally spoke, and just like that, like being hit in the stomach with a sledgehammer, with that sort of force, Ken started to come, to pump that condom full of his fluids even as Justin’s own untouched cock spilled all over Justin’s stomach.

Those words hung between them, though neither of them said anything more that night. Instead, they fell asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms, covered in sweat and clinging to each other.

To Ken, though he knew it was probably too good to be true, it felt almost like a silent promise. Like they were gripping onto each other so tightly because neither of them ever wanted to have to let go.