TWENTY

 

 

When his phone beeped at him, Ken was, at first, inclined to ignore it. After all, it was probably just his mother, calling to yell at him for the phone conversation that he had just had with his sister. Or, more likely, it was her calling to try to get him to change his mind. To take some girl, instead of going alone, as he had told Luna he was going to do.

But it beeped again, and this time, Ken felt like there was an insistent quality to the tone. Something that suggested that, whoever was trying to call, they wouldn’t be put off. It was probably better to just bite the bullet, to tell his mom that he was going to Luna’s wedding alone and that was just how it was. It was going to happen sooner or later, and at least this way she would yell at him over the phone.

“What is it?” Despite all of his resignation, his voice came off just a little bit snappish. Something in his mother just brought out the best in Ken, no doubt about it, he thought wryly, but he didn’t actually try to modify his tone much.

“Uh, is it a bad time?”

Shit. That voice. That most definitely wasn’t his mother’s voice. Chagrin filled him, making him feel like even more of an idiot than he would have if it had been his mother, and Ken sighed softly and reached for an excuse, the first one he could think of.

“Sorry, babe,” Ken admitted, and that much was true. “I didn’t sleep too good, and I don’t feel great.”

Actually, that was all true, but he knew that it sounded like he was sick, and he wasn’t.

“It’s okay. You’re not feeling well?” Justin asked, and Ken could have kicked himself when he heard the worry in the other man’s voice. “I’ll come over. Jade’s in school.”

That just wasn’t something that Ken was used to. He was an adult, he’d been on his own for a few years now, and he’d mostly taken care of himself. Something strange flushed through him, making him smile a little despite himself, when he realized that Justin actually wanted to do this. He could hear it in his voice.

“No, it’s okay …” Ken wasn’t ill, after all. Tired, yes, and pretty worn out in general, but not actually sick, but it was too late. He was talking to a dead line, and he softly sighed as he set his phone down.

He hadn’t really wanted company, but now that he was getting it, he couldn’t actually claim that it would be unwelcome. So he settled in, put a mindless movie on the television and curled up on the couch.

It wasn’t really like him to need to rest much, but a lot was going on, he had to admit. Maybe a day of downtime was all that he would need.

Soon enough, there was a knock on the door, and Ken raised his head. “Come in, babe,” he called, and it was then that he knew just how exhausted he really had been. It was like, now that he had decided what to do about the wedding, all of the tension just broke all at once, and his body gave up and sought out the rest he had been denying himself.

“Hey,” Justin greeted, coming in with a bag of something that smelled delicious. “I brought lunch. So what’s going on with you?”

Ken sighed softly. How could he even begin to explain that, especially when a lot of the reason that he was so tired was because of his own conflicted feelings about Justin himself? He shook his head, sitting up and offering Justin a part of the couch.

“I’m just really, really tired,” he said, not quite honestly. There was more to it than that, but he really didn’t have the energy for any of that. “The wedding, and the pressure that Lester’s putting on all of us, I guess it’s just a lot. And then there’s gonna be a tour, there always is after we drop a new album.”

Justin nodded, and Ken supposed that was the good thing about dating someone in the same industry. Justin wasn’t a performer, but he had a lot of the same stresses on him that Ken did, and he could definitely understand.

“Okay. It’s time for a lot of fat and carbs,” Justin instructed, pulling out takeout containers and opening them to reveal big, thick, juicy, succulent burgers and crisp fries, still steaming gently. “Eat.”

Ken did as he was told, and with real, sincere pleasure. He liked food, and he rarely turned it down when offered, but he realized that it had actually been yesterday that he’d last eaten. He’d just been too distracted when he woke up, and he’d called Luna right away, so there hadn’t been a lot of time.

Well, his body was enjoying it now, and they both tucked in, sitting companionably close to each other on the couch. Somehow, with things as awkward as they had been before, Ken wouldn’t have expected for Justin to come here, to take care of him, and it just added to the confusion.

What is this?

He wanted to scream the words, to make Justin tell him, to sit on him if he had to, to get it out of him. What did this mean to Justin? Ken was ready to throw himself into it completely, but he had no idea if Justin was the same. And why should he be? He had Jade to consider.

So he bit his tongue, and, completely uncharacteristically, he said nothing. He held his silence as he ate, and he continued to hold it even after they had demolished those huge burgers and most of the fries, though even Ken’s stomach was groaning under the weight of so much food after all of that.

Justin shifted against him, and Ken, acting purely on impulse, slid his arm around the other man’s shoulders. He seriously had not expected Justin to be so sweet to him, to come and take care of him. And he closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to the top of the older man’s head, pulling him close against himself and trying to figure out why this one small, gorgeous, strong, sexy as hell man could mess with him so much.

“What’s up now?” Justin whispered, his head settling against Ken’s chest, and Ken’s arm tightened around Justin’s shoulders as he tried to fight down a wave of emotion that was an actual physical sensation, threatening to steal his voice and sweep him away.

He was supposed to be trying to control himself, right? God knew he’d made enough of an idiot of himself for love before.

“I was just thinking how sexy you are,” Ken murmured, and once more, it was the truth. Perhaps not every single tiny little bit of the truth, but he had been thinking that. “It’s kind of distracting.”

Justin smiled a little, that slight quirk of his lips that crinkled up his eyes at the corners and made him look younger than he was. That much, Ken expected and had even been going for, but Justin soon proved that he could surprise him when he suddenly outright climbed onto Ken’s lap.

When Ken had last spent the night, Justin had been distant and cold, and Ken had had to wonder if Justin even wanted him at all anymore. He’d heard that in relationships the sexual tension was supposed to wear off, though it hadn’t for him yet, but he had sort of become resigned to that maybe being the case for Justin. Or was his lover just angry with him? Ken found it hard to tell.

That wasn’t helped when Justin gripped Ken’s hair, pushing his fingers into the shaggy brown strands, and kissed him. Not a gentle, testing kiss, either, but a kiss which stole Ken’s breath and maybe even his soul dead away from him, tongue hot and plunging demandingly into Ken’s mouth, body straddling Ken, knees by his hips, pressed together from pelvis to chest.

There was really no time even to think. It all happened incredibly quickly, from awkward uncertainty to blazing, raw passion, and Ken found himself having a hard time keeping up. Still, his own body reacted, because of course it did. Ken would have to be a lot more than just a little confused to be able to resist this man throwing himself at him.

So he kissed him back, and any minute, he expected Justin to pull back. Instead, he felt Justin tugging at his clothes, slipping Ken’s shirt over his head, fingers finding and pinching at his nipples, giving him just the slightest, incredibly intriguing, hint of pain along with all the lust.

Ken closed his eyes, arching his body, pressing toward the stimulation, because it was so much better to feel than to think. He’d always thought so, and with Justin’s body starting to tilt and move against him, with the deeply thrilling rub of Justin’s cock against his own through the layers of their clothing, that just went double.

Justin could have had him right there if Ken hadn’t heard the door opening. He had known that Liam and Mason were out doing wedding stuff, suit fittings and God knew what else, but he’d lost track of time. He probably didn’t need his brothers walking in on this, so he grabbed Justin’s ass and put him off of himself.

“Hey, guys,” Ken greeted his brothers, and Liam, at least, was looking at them both with some amusement, clearly having some idea what they were up to. Ken was pretty shitty at keeping secrets, though, and he would just have to trust that Liam would have discretion.

On the other hand, this might be the perfect way to let his mother know about Justin without actually having to say the words.

“Bye, guys,” Justin finished and then locked his arm around Ken’s waist and tugged him toward the bedroom. Ken gasped, then shrugged at Liam before he was dragged away, because while Ken had been willing to try to do the right thing and socialize with his brothers, Justin, apparently, had other ideas.

As soon as they were in Ken’s bedroom, clothing was coming off. Justin was like this force of nature, something elemental, purely primal, stripping Ken before the door was even locked behind them. It was like being caught in a whirlpool—or a tornado—and whirled all around with no hope of understanding what was going on, much less getting out of it.

Not that he wanted to. It wasn’t exactly normal for Ken to be bundled off to bed by a man who was pretty much half of his size, but it was definitely exciting, and once he felt Justin’s desperation it was like it caught and Ken felt it, too.

All that mattered was getting Justin naked, getting him into bed, feeling the glide of their bare skin together. Ken heard himself make a soft growl as he tackled Justin down, no longer content just to be a passive part of this.

It was all made that much more intense by the fact that neither of them said anything, nothing at all. There were moans and whimpers, yes, but no actual words. Ken didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t sure what would end up making things worse, so he kept it all to himself as he shoved a leg between Justin’s and forced a hard kiss on him.

Ken found himself rolled beneath the smaller man, and he pushed him right back over, and it became almost more like a wrestling match than the lovemaking that had happened the last time they’d been together. That had been about something deep and real, at least for Ken, but this was about claiming, and urgency, and above all about desire.

Hands were everywhere. Touching, stroking, even scratching nails lightly over each other’s skin, Ken let himself get lost in arousal. That was so much easier than letting himself get caught up in the confusion and uncertainty that he was feeling normally with Justin these days.

Eventually, after some period of time which Ken couldn’t track but which probably wasn’t even that long, Justin rolled on top of him, distracting Ken with a hard, strong thigh pressed right up against Ken’s dick, which was leaking all over itself now. Whatever else this was, it was hot as hell, and Ken couldn’t actually remember a time when he’d needed sex more than he did with this intense man taking control of his body.

They looked at each other, and while neither of them talked, while they both remained silent, some wordless communication passed between them which was more raw, and open, and deep, than any words could have been. Ken slowly nodded, seeing the question in Justin’s eyes, and then gasped when he felt his legs flung open and up out of the way, bending so his knees were close to his chest, leaving him open and vulnerable to Justin.

Damned if the guy wasn’t surprisingly strong for someone so short and slender, but then Ken had seen him work out. Either way, he was obviously able to manipulate Ken’s body exactly how he liked, and with his heart, body, mind, and soul, Ken submitted to him.

In the end, Justin almost forgot the condom, and Ken realized, with a start of surprise, that he would have let him do it. It had been a long time since he’d been stupid enough to screw without protection, and it terrified him, and excited him, that he had almost done so.

In a second, Justin had the sheath rolled over himself. With that done, he positioned himself, forced another hard kiss on Ken, and then drove himself deep, swallowing down Ken’s desperate cries of pleasure.

And pain, too. Not much of it, since there was enough lube on the condom to keep everything slippery, but there hadn’t been any preparation and the slight sting of the entry somehow only made things better. Ken cried out, glad for the stifling influence of Justin’s lips, and they rocked rapidly together, using each other and letting the other use them, nothing held back.

At least nothing physical.

Justin was so rough with him, and it felt to Ken almost like the older man wanted to claim him, to pull their two bodies together so that they were one. And that’s what Ken wanted, too, straining to get closer, arms wrapped tightly around the slender man’s lovely body.

It was over too soon. It was just too heated between them, too desperate, and Ken actually shook his head in denial when he felt his body start to heat up, pleasure to pool in his cock and balls, built by each inexorable thrust of the other man’s cock against his prostate.

When he came, it was almost against his will. He wanted this to last longer, but his body couldn’t do it, and right as he came, he felt Justin do the same, both of them writhing and moaning and straining together right up until their exhausted bodies couldn’t do it anymore.

 

* * *

 

Clothed once more, Ken watched as Justin ran out the door, a panicked look on his face. Though the sex had only seemed to take a few minutes, it had actually been longer than either of them had thought, and Justin had his daughter to pick up.

At least Mason was gone, probably to swim in the building’s pool. At first, Ken thought that Liam had gone with him, but when Ken settled down to start the movie that he’d been watching before, Liam came out, his hair wet, obviously fresh from the shower.

That was actually worse, having to face Liam, who had to have a pretty good idea of what Ken and Justin had done in the bedroom. Mason was too young to know really, but, from the smirk that Liam shot Ken’s way, he obviously had at least some guesses about what they had been up to.

“Any survivors?” Liam asked, and Ken sighed and shook his head. He really should have been more careful. Should have tried to derail Justin, to stop it from happening until his brothers were safely out of the house again.

“Were we too loud?” Ken asked, not even about to try to pretend that nothing had happened. Liam was clearly not going to believe it, not with the way his brother was smirking at him.

“Nah. I didn’t actually hear anything,” Liam assured him, which was a relief, because they had been pretty all over each other, he and Justin, and it would have been more than a little awkward if he had made his brothers listen to all of it.

Not that he would have cared much at the time. Whatever else that had been, it had been incredibly hot. Rough and desperate and eager, and Ken wasn’t sure what to make of it. At least Justin wanted him, though.

“Okay. Good.” Ken went to grab a cold bottle of water from the fridge, as much because he wanted to avoid Liam’s eyes as because he actually wanted the drink. Though, actually, considering the exercise he’d just been up to, he could probably use the liquids.

“So what’s going on with you and that guy? He looks a little old for you,” Liam commented, and Ken turned to glare at him, his temper flaring, until he saw the smirk on Liam’s face and realized just how neatly he’d been tricked into giving himself away.

“Damn it,” he grumbled and leaned against the counter, sipping from his water and looking thoughtfully at Liam. Growing up, they had been the closest in age, which had led to them being both the best of friends and the worst of enemies, sometimes multiple times in the same day.

So who was this guy? Ever since Ken had left home, he hadn’t been in touch with Liam and had spent almost no one on one time with him since then. And they hadn’t exactly been raised in the most accepting way when it came to same-sex relationships.

“Look, we’re together,” Ken finally burst out. Luna knew, after all, that he was gay, and she accepted it completely. Just because of how they’d been raised, it didn’t mean that nonacceptance was a guarantee. “Justin and I. I love him.”

“Good.” Liam’s voice was calm, and to Ken, it seemed sincere, though he was very ready for it not to be. “Does he love you?”

That was a complicated question, and Ken shook his head as he tried to figure it out.

“I don’t know. He says he does.”

Liam nodded and changed the subject, and Ken smiled a little bit as he looked at his younger brother. He’d always assumed that his family couldn’t accept who he was, but Liam and Luna had both done so, so maybe it wasn’t so hopeless after all.

Now, Ken thought, if he could only figure out what this thing was with Justin, what it meant. That was far, far harder than coming out to his family had ever been.