Chapter Seven
Hadley dashed inside Autumn and Kate’s apartment mere milliseconds after Autumn opened the door. “Don’t mind me!” Hadley said. “Just got home from work, and I need a quick fix before my plans tonight. Are they up?”
“They are,” Autumn said, laughing. “They were wondering why they hadn’t laid eyes on you yet this afternoon. This morning was so long ago in baby time.”
“It feels like an eternity has passed,” Hadley said, desperately. Per Autumn’s rules, she quickly washed her hands before handling the babies. “Are they talking yet? Have they said Auntie Hadley is our best friend? If not, we can keep working on it.”
“Shockingly, no. They did, however, master crying in tandem for forty-five minutes and then staring in amazement at the light show the mobile puts on. Will, in particular, makes eyes at it. He’s learning to flirt.”
“Because my William notices everything! It’s his gift. Hi, Care-Bear,” Hadley said, scooping tiny Carrie up from where she lay in her Rock ’n Play. She was swaddled snugly and the cutest baby in all the world as she blinked up at Hadley. Her hair was starting to show red highlights in the blond, maybe signaling that she would take after her mother’s red locks in the end.
“Have you noticed that Izzie seems quieter than usual lately?” Autumn asked, as Hadley made her goofiest of faces. Of their group of friends, Autumn was the consummate mother hen, eagerly observant and watching over the others. “She nodded along at Breakfast Club this morning, but it was clear she was distracted. Her head is somewhere. I just hope it’s somewhere good.”
Hadley was torn between putting Autumn’s fears to rest and holding on to Isabel’s confidence. She trusted her gut and went with the latter. “I think she’s just tired, you know? They pull some crazy hours at the studio and she probably needs a break.”
Autumn tapped her chin. “I don’t know. It feels like more.”
“I’m sure if it is, we’ll hear about it soon enough. You’re such a sweetheart, though, always looking out for us.”
“Well, someone has to. Speaking of looking after people, my new hire quit yesterday. I have an interview this afternoon with their potential replacement.”
“Is this moonwalking-barista we’re talking about? Or smells-way-too-much-like-mint girl?”
“Mint girl,” Autumn said. “She thinks coffee just isn’t in her blood, to which I scoffed and politely accepted her resignation, because what kind of person is she anyway? A lunatic. That’s what kind. I mean, seriously, she should go find a mint farm somewhere and live out her days chewing gum and wearing coats.”
“I’m sure she would leap at that suggestion.” Hadley smiled at Autumn’s fiercely loyal stance when it came to coffee and its importance in the scheme of life. She would go toe-to-toe with anyone who argued differently. While she was still checking in daily on the happenings at the Cat’s Pajamas, she’d left Steve in charge so she could spend the twins’ first few weeks at home with them before slowly rotating herself back onto the schedule. She and Kate had secured a nanny they liked very much, who would help watch the kiddos when both parents were at work. Luckily, with Autumn just next door, she could peek in on them and kiss their tiny cheeks whenever she wanted.
“So, what’s new with you?” Autumn asked.
“I have a date tonight,” Hadley said. “A real one. Not just one with my television.”
“Get out of my apartment. You do? I miss the outside world. What does it look like? Who is your date? Will you go to a restaurant with a menu and not a drive-thru? What kind?” Autumn rested her chin in her hand and looked up at Hadley, who’d swapped out Carrie for Will, like she held the keys to the kingdom.
“You know, I’m thinking we need to work on a night out for you and Kate soon. You’ve been cooped up in here too long.”
“Are you serious?”
“Very.”
“You’re like a blond Mother Teresa,” Autumn said, nearly moved to tears. Sleep deprivation tended to bring Autumn’s emotions to the surface, Hadley had learned, and then stirred them up like a big stew.
“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard that,” Hadley said, with a proud smile.
“Tell me about your date so I can live vicariously through you. Tell me. Tell me.”
“It’s with Spencer. Remember, we had the business meeting at Pajamas a couple weeks back?”
Autumn reached for Carrie, who’d begun to whimper. “I knew it. You were so into her that day, like a little hummingbird to her nectar.”
Hadley felt the familiar tingle move through her. “Well, the hummingbird’s wings are still a-flapping.”
“This story just keeps giving. Don’t slow down.”
Hadley could oblige. “We went to a jazz club the other night, so maybe this is date two.”
“We’re counting it,” Autumn said vehemently. “Two it is.”
Hadley shook her head. “I’m the opposite of a pro at this, though, Autumn, and really feeling the learning curve. The last time I went on a date was the woman from the online dating site who talked for hours about the insects on her patio and the factions they’d formed. That I could handle. This has me all wobbly. We don’t even have a destination tonight.”
“Wobbly is a good sign, though. Embrace it. Oh! There’s a whiskey tasting at that cute little new age shop not far from here.”
“Really?” Hadley nodded a few times, considering the option. Imagining it playing out.
“Someone posted a flyer on the bulletin board in Pajamas.”
“That could be something fun to do together. I don’t know much about whiskey, but Spencer ordered something boozy at the jazz club the other night, so she might like that. I’d be playing to my audience!” she said with exuberance, really finding her momentum now. Her papa had always instilled in her the importance of playing to her audience whenever possible. It had paid off so far in life. “Do you realize you and these babies might have saved me? I feel so much better with a direction to head in.”
Autumn held up a finger. “Let’s not go crazy with credit placement. These munchkins stared in awe as I solved your destination dilemma. Me. Do not give this goofy twosome points for being handsome and beautiful.”
“Too late!” Hadley said, kissing little Will’s cheek. “This guy is looking sleepy.”
“That’s because he blew off his nap two hours ago. Almost time to try again, isn’t it, little guy?” Autumn asked, taking him from Hadley, who missed his cuddly warmth almost instantly.
“I guess that’s my cue to get out of your hair and let them sleep.”
“But you better be around tomorrow with an update.” Autumn set the baby into his Rock ’n Play and took Hadley firmly by the shoulders. “I’m isolated here with people who do not speak and rarely allow me to sleep. I need this. Do you understand?”
Hadley, caught a little off guard by Autumn’s uncharacteristic intensity, nodded back like an agreeable soldier.
“Good,” Autumn said, releasing her, though her stare remained unrelenting. “I’ll be waiting.”
Hadley passed Gia in the courtyard on the way back to her own apartment. “Hey, G. I’m a tad worried about Autumn. I think we may need to give her a break from the twins at some point soon.”
Gia nodded, her eyes full of fear. “Did she grab you and look at you like she could see right to your soul?”
“She did.”
“She did that to me yesterday, and I haven’t forgotten it. What do we do?”
“I’ll see if we can schedule an outing for the two of them this weekend. I think Kate has Saturday off from the station. Want to help me watch them?”
Gia looked like a tiny animal caught in a trap. “I’m not sure I’m qualified.”
Hadley punched her arm. “We got this. Besides, you’ll have me.”
“If you say so,” Gia said. “In the meantime, I need to work out harder than Elle is. She’s ridiculous and lapping me. Cannot happen.”
Hadley winced. “Best of luck. I’ve seen her in action.” Gia and Elle often battled it out on the Women’s Pro Surf Tour. After Elle finished the previous season ranked second in the world, and Gia fourth, they were training with a new kind of vengeance that seemed to be paying off. They’d learned how to juggle love in the face of competition quite effectively over the last few months. Both had their eye on number one by season’s end. While they loved each other relentlessly, they also stoked the fires of competition.
“You think I haven’t?” Gia asked. “Her stamina is terrifying. Her abs alone should make me quit the sport altogether.”
“Who has great abs and terrifying stamina? I need to meet this woman,” Elle called down from the second-floor exterior railing.
Caught! Gia and Hadley exchanged a wide-eyed OMG stare.
Gia glanced up. “No one you know,” she said, in the worst display of lying ever. She was simply awful at it, which made her awesome. Hadley covered her smile.
“Is this because I kicked your ass on that last sprint this morning?” Elle said playfully.
“You took off early and you know it,” Gia said.
“Did not. And if I remember correctly, the winner was supposed to receive a victory massage. I secured that vanilla lotion and everything. I’ve just been up here, all by myself, waiting for the hands that would take me places. Still waiting.”
Gia relaxed into a lazy grin. That had done it. Competition spell broken. “Yeah, you probably won fair and square.”
Hadley decided to get out of their way, noticing the moment seemed to be shifting to the private variety. She took the stairs to her own apartment quickly, high-fiving Elle as she passed and then waving at Stephanie down below, her stoic neighbor who dressed daily in all black. Stephanie, all eyelinered up, just stared back at Hadley as if she were invisible. Nothing new. Didn’t mean Hadley would stop greeting her in the future. It simply wasn’t in her DNA to be unfriendly.
She dressed quickly in white capris and a royal blue off-the-shoulder top she knew would bring out her eyes. A small silver necklace would accentuate her neckline and a pair of tan slingbacks with a small heel would elongate the lines of her legs. If there was one thing Hadley found confidence in, it was putting together the right outfit for a given physique, and she was intimately familiar with her own. She bolstered her perceived strengths and minimized her weaknesses. All in a day’s work.
She spent the remainder of the early evening going over Spencer’s sketches, making notes along the way. Most everything she had to say was complimentary, however, as Spencer had taken her notes from their last session and run wild with them, adding touches, details, and textures Hadley would have never dreamed up—yet all in the right direction for high-end retail. “Gorgeous,” she muttered to herself, and dropped the sketch pad into her bag to meet Spencer below.
She’d only been waiting in the courtyard for a few minutes when the woman she couldn’t stop thinking about appeared. Right on cue, every part of her sighed dreamily and she stood, bag on her shoulder. As their eyes met, Spencer broke into a million-watt smile.
“You look amazing,” she said. “Not that there’s a world in which you couldn’t.”
Hadley let the compliment land and spread out. “Hi,” she said happily. “And thank you.” Spencer’s own outfit was in the vein of her designs. Sophisticated, with a side of rebellious tossed in. Her short-sleeve black top had small rips down the side, offering only a fleeting glimpse of skin. She had a scarf with a faded leopard print around her neck, and her slim-legged jeans had Hadley’s mouth watering. It was a really good look for Spencer.
“Where should we go?” Spencer asked.
“Hear me out, and understand that you can totally say no.”
“The suspense is killing me.”
“I’m told there’s a spirits tasting tonight at this great little shop down the street. What do you think?”
“I’d be one hundred percent down with that,” Spencer said, easing her hair behind her ear. “But I’ve only ever seen you drink wine. You’d be up for something a little heavier?”
“Pshhh,” Hadley said, as if she did spirit tastings on the daily. “I can hang with the big girls, Spencer. You don’t give me enough credit.”
“Okay,” Spencer said, as if still not quite able to picture Hadley tossing back whiskey neats. But then again, this would only be a tasting. They would sip, and see where the night led them. And really, who knew where that might be? Hadley was nervous and excited to find out.
“Follow me.”
Spencer smiled. “Anywhere.”
* * *
The night was definitely going places. Spencer realized she was doing that thing where her feet weren’t touching the ground, and called herself on it. As much as she enjoyed Hadley and felt reeled in by her contagious, bubbly charm, feet-on-the-ground realism was where Spencer preferred to live.
Before they’d met, she didn’t have any intention of getting tangled up with a woman, but Hadley made her laugh and go weak in the knees. Plus, the whimsical aspect of Hadley’s personality coaxed something lighter into her disposition. While she couldn’t quite imagine herself roller-skating through Hadley’s courtyard, she could damn sure smile at the reality of Hadley doing so. Hell, maybe she could even cheerlead. As a kid, she’d rejected dolls, stuffed kittens, and anything sparkly. She’d just never been a fan of cute things, feeling that they’d signal something weak in her. Hadley had tossed the entire notion on its head. She was the definition of cute, and Spencer couldn’t get enough. Toss in her alluring appearance, and Spencer had trouble remembering her own name.
They hopped an Uber to Chadwick’s, the little shop Hadley had mentioned, just as the sun began to set. The store was just as quaint as Hadley described, selling liquor and incense and candles of all soothing scents. A classical guitarist had set up in the corner and had his case open for tips. Spencer tossed in a five as they approached the tables that had been set up in parallel rows for tastings.
“Have you done one of these before?” Hadley asked. Her small silver earrings caught the light, as the guitarist began to play “Hotel California.”
“A handful.”
“Tell me, what’s your favorite?”
She thought on the question, distracted by the way Hadley pursed her lips as she waited for the answer. She had really good lips. “I’m a rum devotee, but I try not to discriminate.”
“An open mind. I like that.”
There were so many other things Spencer was feeling open to, but she focused on the task ahead of them and enjoyed merely being in Hadley’s presence, all optimistic and eager.
Two small glasses with intricate silver designs were placed in front of them. Hadley’s glass was pelican themed, and Spencer’s a series of fishing hooks. Chadwick’s was certainly eclectic, as nothing else about the shop said ocean. Their server was named Jeremiah, and he briefly explained that there would be six tastings provided, to which she made mental note to take it slow.
“Where are you from?” Hadley asked Jeremiah.
He was close to their age with sandy brown hair and a pointy goatee Spencer thought he should lose. She imagined all the ways she would style him, given the opportunity. Gray and light blue would be a killer combination on him. Occupational hazard. Sometimes she just couldn’t turn off that portion of her brain.
“Calabasas originally. I live in the city now.”
“Oh, wow! Me, too,” Hadley said beaming. “My dads still live out that way. I visit them a couple of times a month. They just remodeled the whole house. It was quite the project. You don’t want the details.”
“Who handled the work?” he asked.
She thought a moment. “Um…a company called Mandalay Brothers. They were great, but it took close to a year for everything to go in. The end result was stunning.”
He extended his hand. “Jeremiah Mandalay. My two older brothers own that company.”
“Get out!” Hadley turned to Spencer with a look that said, “Can you even believe this?” Back to Jeremiah. “You get out of here right now! Turn around and leave this instant.”
Jeremiah held up his hands, smiling right back at her. “Honest to goodness truth. I didn’t get the construction gene, so I stick to alcohol. Learning about it, not just drinking.” He laughed.
Hadley joined him. “Can you imagine?”
Spencer listened as the two chatted animatedly about Venice, the cooler weather, and how often they visited Calabasas and its little-known ice cream shop. It turned out she wasn’t the only one who found Hadley easy to talk to. It was becoming clear that she made friends wherever she went, like an inescapable ray of sunshine. Where in the world had this woman come from? Nice people didn’t work on Rodeo Drive: a cosmic rule.
“And this is Spencer. My date,” Hadley told Jeremiah, after their first tasting, a shot of tequila that Spencer made sure to sip and discard. Hadley, on the other hand, drank and talked, and drank and talked until her shot glass was empty.
“Nice to officially meet you,” Spencer told Jeremiah. “I feel like I already know so much about you.”
He shook his head, a giant grin spread across his face. “The world is a small place, and it’s nice to meet a kindred spirit like Hadley.”
“We should exchange information after,” Hadley said. “Two Calabasas kids and all.”
“Definitely,” he said, and poured them a sample of vanilla rum. “My girlfriend would love you guys. We could make it a foursome some night for dinner. Either here or in Calabasas.”
“You’re on.” Hadley turned to Spencer after downing the small glass. “My lips are numb,” she said, touching them. “Do you think it’s okay that my lips are numb? Where did they go?”
Spencer grinned. “Might mean that you want to slow down.”
“Good call,” Hadley said. “I’d love my lips to come back.” Her cheeks were flushed and she seemed a tad tipsy. Spencer decided to keep an eye on her intake, just in case.
After they progressed to a mellow vodka, Hadley was talking kind of fast. “The thing about Venice,” Hadley said, speaking with an alcohol-fueled conviction, “is that it’s so darn expensive. I just can’t get away from it though. The people, the culture. They speak to me, ya know?” The alcohol was also speaking to her. It was cute, but Spencer thought maybe they should pause the tasting.
“Hey, Hadley?” she asked. “You know what I’ve always wanted to do in Venice?”
“What’s that?”
“See the canals. Maybe we can skip the rest of the tasting and check them out. What do you think?”
“Yeah. Yes. Definitely,” she turned to Jeremiah. “Do you mind if we skip the rest? My lips never returned.”
“Not at all,” he said warmly, and passed Hadley his card. “I’m glad you two stopped in.”
Hadley took his hand and shook it. “You’ve done an amazing job tonight. You’re going to go far.”
Jeremiah and Spencer exchanged an amused smile. “Thanks,” Spencer mouthed back at him and then walked a very tipsy, quite possibly drunk Hadley, out of the store. “So, that was fun,” she said,
“Wow!” Hadley exclaimed once they hit the streets. “That stuff hits you out of nowhere.” She touched her forehead. “I apologize. I’m not used to straight alcohol all on its own. Oh! Look at the birds up there, flying free!”
“It’s nice when they’re able to do that,” Spencer said. “Can I tell you something? You’re a different kind of fun when you’re drinking. Like regular Hadley times six.”
“Can I tell you something right on back? You’re really sexy when I’m drinking.” She closed her eyes. “That’s ridiculous. You’re really sexy all the time. I just said that out loud and it’s fine.”
“It is.” Spencer smiled. “Nothing wrong with that.”
Hadley held up one finger. “Time to cut me off, ma’am.”
“I’ll fight off any potential barkeeps who may approach us.”
“You would do that for me?” Hadley asked, exponentially touched.
Spencer laughed at her drunken sincerity. “Come on. Show me these famous canals I’ve heard so much about, and then you can tell me how sexy I am again.” She handed Hadley one of the bottles of water she’d picked up in the store.
“Don’t tempt me,” Hadley said, gesturing with the water. “C’mon. It’s a nice night out. We can walk. Maybe the air will help sober me up so I stop complimenting you like an idiot.”
“Maybe there’s a compromise in there somewhere,” Spencer said.
“We could negotiate.”
Spencer liked the idea and took Hadley’s hand in hers. The stroll to Washington Boulevard and Pacific Avenue was a short one, but something about walking the streets together hand in hand had Spencer warm and comfortable and feeling close to Hadley.
“Wow,” she said, taking in the view before them once they arrived. The last bit of daylight was barely hanging on, illuminating the canals with a tiny sliver of sunlight. A family of ducklings paddled along in the water, parallel to the sidewalk.
“Hey, little gentlemen,” Hadley said, sweetly. “Hope you’re enjoying your night.” She turned to Spencer. “I don’t know why I imagine that they’re boys, but I do. I insert little top hats onto their heads as I look down at them.”
“Well, who doesn’t?” Spencer said, and then passed Hadley a you’re-a-weirdo look.
“Apparently, everyone.” Hadley knocked Spencer’s ribs slightly with her elbow.
The ducks pressed on and so did she and Hadley. A series of walkways took them past a variety of interesting-looking houses, most with a paddleboat or rowboat tied up in front.
“I love coming out here,” Hadley said, surveying their surroundings. “I don’t do it enough.”
“Why do you like it?”
“It’s so peaceful. Don’t you think?”
“I was just going to say so.” This time, no weirdo look. Spencer meant it.
They nodded to an older couple passing on their left. The woman had her arm linked through the man’s. Hadley looked back at them. “That right there is what life’s all about.”
“Sharing a nice evening out?” Spencer asked.
“No.” Hadley led them up onto one of the overarching pedestrian bridges that looked down on the canal. “Finding your person. Your one.”
“Huh,” Spencer said. She leaned her arms on the railing and looked out. It was getting dark now. The light from the nearby lampposts glistened on the water’s surface as the soft sound of it lapping against the bank underscored their conversation.
“What?” Hadley asked. She mirrored Spencer’s stance over the railing and looked over at her.
“I’m just not sure I can get behind that philosophy. I think we’re drawn to a number of different people throughout our lives for different reasons.”
Hadley frowned. “True. Until you find the one you’re meant to be with.”
“See, I’m not sure I agree with that. Why would one be the most important? I can imagine that you might meet two or three people over the course of your life that significantly change it. Maybe at different points.”
Hadley frowned. “Wait. What about marriage?”
“I think it screws things up, so I don’t believe in it. Take my parents. Divorced when I was younger. These are two people who get along great now but failed miserably within the confines of marriage. They were better without it. I think we all probably are.”
Hadley straightened. “I think if I wasn’t sufficiently sober, then I am now.” She took a defeated step back from the railing.
“What? It upsets you that I don’t believe in forever?”
Hadley took a moment before raising her gaze to Spencer’s. “The problem is that I do. In fact, if I were to make a list of all of the things I want most in life, falling in love and getting married and growing old with one person is at the top of my list. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, and I very much believe it’s possible.”
“You’re a hopeless romantic,” Spencer said. “Not an awful thing at all.”
“But naïve.”
“Maybe a little.”
“Well, I don’t have any plans on changing. In fact, I like who I am. You can call me unrealistic or starry-eyed all you want. Some people do. But happily ever after can be real.”
“People like to think it’s real. It’s a comforting idea, I admit. But if you think about it, so is Santa Claus.”
“I can’t believe you just said that!” Hadley shook her head. The metaphorical distance between them seemed to be growing by the second, but Spencer wasn’t sure there was much she could do to change that short of lying about her values, who she was.
“Then prove me wrong,” she said good-naturedly.
“Well, think about it. It’s more than an idea or figment of someone’s imagination,” Hadley said. “It’s who we are as humans.”
“Not most of us,” Spencer said. “Have you seen the recent divorce rate?”
Hadley’s gaze fell in dejection to the ground and Spencer hated that she’d caused such a look.
She took a breath and attempted to regroup, softening. “Hey, wait a sec.” She placed her hand gently under Hadley’s chin and raised her face so she could see her eyes. “I think the world of you, Hadley. Please believe that. This doesn’t have to change anything between us.”
“Doesn’t it?” Hadley asked, sadly. “I feel like it changes everything. We’re looking for different things, so what’s the point?”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This is only a second date.”
“Up until this moment, it was an outstanding one. And if we go on a third, or a fourth? Then what?” Hadley dropped her hand from the railing. “What you may not know about me, Spencer, is that while I may be outgoing and confident on the outside, I have a tender heart and a lot of feelings.”
Spencer nodded, already understanding the truth of that statement. She was seeing so firsthand. “I wouldn’t ever want to hurt you, Hadley, and I’m a big believer in meaningful relationships. Don’t mistake me. Marriage and all of that? Might not be for me. But that doesn’t mean I sleep around and it doesn’t mean I don’t feel things just as deeply as the next person.”
Hadley seemed confused. “But if you don’t believe in the possibility of forever, then what would we be working toward? Fun for a little while?” She sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She was grappling. “It sounds like a whole lot of heartbreak waiting to happen. At least for me. At the end of the day, I’m looking for the one, not a good time. I don’t think I’m made that way.”
“I would never think of you as a good time.”
“I appreciate that, because there’s a lot more to me than the physical.”
Regret twisted in Spencer’s stomach, uncomfortable and sharp. She wanted badly to just enjoy their time together, complications be damned. She liked Hadley. What was so wrong with focusing on only that for now and seeing where it led? “Hey,” she said, moving to Hadley. “Let’s not get hung up on this one detail.” But it was clear from the desolate look on Hadley’s face that the mood had been shattered irreparably. There was nothing Spencer could do.
“I think we need to take a step back from this part of us.”
It was like a punch in the stomach. Spencer closed her eyes and took a moment. “Okay.” She understood where Hadley was coming from, but she didn’t have to like it. “So, what now?”
“We take those designs of yours and get them on the retail map, and that starts with Silhouette.” Hadley attempted a smile, but Spencer didn’t buy it. Her eyes didn’t shine, and when Hadley smiled genuinely, her eyes shone brighter than any she’d ever seen. She hated that something she’d said had inspired the change in that beautiful smile.
“Fair enough.”
They stared at each other. They were on new, uncomfortable ground now.
“I love what you’ve done in the new sketches.” Hadley reached into her bag, pulled out the pad, and returned it to Spencer. “My notes are in the front, but honestly, I’m not sure I contributed anything to this round. Consider me your cheerleader.”
“What you said before, your suggestions, inspired all of it. You set me in a new direction.”
“Oh,” Hadley said. “I’m happy to hear I helped. What’s next to make it all happen?”
“We go to manufacturing and wait. I was also hoping you’d take a look at some ideas I have coming up for the summer. It’s still early and the designs are rudimentary, but there’s enough there for you to get an idea of where I’m heading.”
“I’d love to,” Hadley said. Something in the water caught her eye and she turned. Her whole face lit up and she laughed, melodious and free. “I think the duck and that fish are having a fight over what looks to be a piece of bread.” Spencer followed Hadley’s gaze to the water, but her eyes moved back to Hadley almost immediately. Much more to watch there. The sparkle was back, brought on by something so common as some splashing in the water. “Oh, and one for the duck,” Hadley said, shaking her head. Hadley took enjoyment in the little things life had to offer. If they all took a page from her book, the world would be a much happier place.
They made the loop around the canal and finished their walk mostly in silence. The sounds of nature took over, edging to the forefront. The rustling of palm trees, the quiet ribbits of the frogs, and the easy lapping of the water. All would have been like music to her ears any other evening. Tonight, they couldn’t pull her from the melancholy that had settled like a heavy drape over everything.
“Listen, I don’t want you to have the wrong impression of me,” Spencer said finally, once they approached the sidewalk in front of Seven Shores. They stood outside the complex between two streetlights, where Spencer’s car was parked along the curb. “I’m not some callous, unfeeling person who discards one woman for another like tissue. I’m capable of maintaining and valuing a meaningful relationship.”
“For the foreseeable future,” Hadley stated delicately.
“Or longer. It depends on the woman, on the relationship.” She wasn’t making herself as clear as she could. “I am just very much aware of the fact that life is about chapters, and sometimes a chapter ends and that’s okay. There are more to come.”
Hadley smiled. “Are you offering me a chapter, Spencer?”
“It could be a really great chapter. Life changing. We don’t know. Are you willing to walk away from that possibility? Tell me goodbye forever and miss out on what could be?” She held her arms wide open.
Hadley sighed, as uncertainty crisscrossed her features. “Why did you have to use a book analogy? I love books.”
“I know.” Spencer took Hadley’s hand and gently pulled her in. “Neither of us knows where this might lead. Fair?”
Hadley nodded. “I suppose that’s fair.” A pause as Spencer moved even closer. “You smell like strawberries.”
Spencer laughed quietly. “That’s a new one.”
“It’s true. I can’t get enough of it.”
“I’m going to kiss you now, and take my time doing it, unless you tell me not to.”
Hadley offered the slightest of nods. She held Spencer’s gaze but said nothing.
“You understand? This is your out.”
Hadley only blinked at her in response.
The anticipation was almost too much. Spencer moved in slowly, hovering just beyond Hadley’s mouth in case she had any change of heart, and then all bets were off. The magnetism of the other night returned instantaneously as soon as her lips met Hadley’s in an unpredictable dance. Like some kind of lightning bolt had descended and zapped them into the most tantalizing connection that washed over Spencer from her head to her toes. When she kissed Hadley, it was so much more than just a kiss. She’d kissed a lot of girls in her life. Some were even quite excellent kissers. This was different. With Hadley, Spencer felt her everywhere: in her thoughts, her body, her being, which was a new and unnerving experience. More was the only word on her mind. Hadley’s mouth moved over hers expertly, matching her rhythm. Her hands slid into Hadley’s hair, holding her in place as she kissed the lips that had captivated her all evening, that slayed her now and had her questioning everything she thought she knew. Damn it, if Hadley said the world was triangular, she’d be inclined to agree in this moment. Why the hell couldn’t it be? She sank further into the kiss, pressing against Hadley, melding their bodies together, and savoring that friction. She felt Hadley’s breasts pressed into hers, and the unexpected arousal that snaked down her spine and took up residence between her legs had her deliriously shaken. She wanted her hands beneath that shirt. She wanted to touch those breasts, kiss them. What in the world was this intoxicating dance? Finally, it was Hadley who took a step back with one extended hand on Spencer’s shoulder, leaving her cold and grappling.
“Whoa” was the only word Hadley spoke. Yep. She’d felt the lightning bolt, too. They stared at each other, recovering, becoming reacquainted with oxygen and equilibrium. She pointed at Spencer, touched her lips, and pointed at Spencer again. “Did you feel that?”
Spencer nodded back, her hand finding its way on top of her head. “How could I not? It’s…we’re…yeah.” Her most eloquent of moments.
“We might be approaching big bang.” Hadley’s eyes closed momentarily before her gaze landed on Spencer’s. “You don’t know what big bang is, but this is feeling close. I think that we need to—”
“Well, hey there!” a petite brunette woman called happily, coming up the walk. No. More like strutting. She beamed at Hadley and then at Spencer with her hands on her hips like a proud mom on picture day. “You must be Spencer.”
“Oh. Yes. I am.” She extended her hand and was met with a firm shake from the woman, who studied her with interest. Way too much interest.
Hadley looked on with hesitation. “Spencer Adair, meet one of my best friends, Isabel Chase, who was probably just heading into her apartment back there. Where she lives and is heading. We’re also neighbors.”
“And super close,” Isabel said, rocking back on her heels and smiling at Spencer, still seeming to be in research mode. “Hadley tells me, like, fucking everything. It’s amazing how much I know.” She tapped a finger to the side of her head.
Spencer’s eyebrows rose. “Is that so?”
“So much knowledge right here.” Another tap.
“Okay!” Hadley said, clapping once and shooting Isabel daggers with her eyes, all the while smiling. A true feat to accomplish all three. Spencer was impressed. “Isabel probably has her cat to feed. Yessiree Bob. He’s the hungriest cat. Always counting the minutes until she walks in the door.”
Isabel nodded. “Fat Tony. He’s a mess but means well. Hopefully, you can meet him sometime soon. Provided you’ll be around. You think you might be, Spencer? Around.”
Hadley pinched the bridge of her nose.
Because Spencer wasn’t sure what else to say, she went for the common ground angle. “I have a cat, too. And yeah, that’d be great. I hope to see you.”
“Perfect!” Isabel said happily, clapping Spencer on the back. Hard. “I better get outta here so you two can spend some time alone.” She wiggled her fingers at them like a ghost. “Don’t let me get in the way if you have more kissing to do.”
“Izzie.”
Spencer shook her head. “You don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do,” Isabel said, and made a circular gesture between the three of them. “In the way here. I sense it.” She pointed at Hadley. “I’ll see you in the morning at breakfast, unless you’ll be otherwise engaged?” She pulled a face that said, “am I on the right track?”
“I’ll be there,” Hadley said, through a tight lip.
“Aces,” Isabel said. She shot finger guns at them and headed into the courtyard of the complex.
What a weird individual.
Hadley passed Spencer an apologetic look. “I swear to you that I’ve never seen her do that. The fishing for information, flashy game show host routine. I think she’s in a mode lately. She has a lot on her plate.”
“She’s heard of me?”
Hadley looked like a person surrendering in embarrassment. “She has.”
She chalked it up to a small victory. “I won’t ask for any more details. What I would like to know is what you were about to say before we were interrupted.” But now it felt a little like the magic bubble had been popped.
Hadley nodded, and attempted to take them back there. “I don’t have the answers, Spencer, okay? But I know that we seem pretty far apart in terms of what we want in life. That’s scary for me. The kissing? Not so scary at all. That part is full on amazing. No complaints there.”
“I agree on both counts.” She kicked at a rock on the sidewalk. “What about this? I can try and keep an open mind if you can. No one has to compromise anything at this point.” Spencer had never been one to gravitate toward intimate confessions, but this moment felt like a necessary exception. She geared up, softening as a wall came down. This part wasn’t easy. “When I’m with you, a lot of what I thought I knew dissipates. I’m willing to admit that. So, who am I to make any sort of grandstand on what my future may or may not be when it comes to us? I’m feeling things that, quite frankly, have me shocked. Maybe there’s more shocking ahead. I don’t know.” She held out her hands in surrender and let them drop. “I only know that I’d like to find out.”
The smile took shape slowly on Hadley’s face, and its maturation sent a chill right through Spencer. Hadley was an angel, through and through. Just look at her, standing there, haloed by the street lamp, looking more stunning than any woman on the planet.
“So, you’re saying you’re open to the chance that this could blossom into something…lasting?”
Spencer hesitated. She didn’t want to give Hadley false hope, but in that moment, she was open to the sliver of a possibility that there could be a forever waiting. With the right person. Hell, who knew? “I’m saying I can try to be.”
“I’m thirty years old and not looking for another good time. You should know that straight off. No surprises.”
Spencer’s entire body relaxed. “You could never be just that, Hadley. Never.”
In response, Hadley placed her hands on the lapels of Spencer’s shirt and pulled her in for one more wild kiss. Spencer heard herself moan quietly as their mouths clashed. She caught Hadley’s tongue lightly with her teeth, encouraged when Hadley murmured back, her arms around Spencer’s neck. She kissed Hadley long and slow, realizing that she could do this for hours, days. She rested her forehead against Hadley’s and enjoyed breathing in the same air. Even that got her going. Nope, chemistry would not be a problem. Not even a small one.
“I need you to be honest with me as we go,” Hadley said, her mouth still inches from Spencer’s, “and if you ever get to a point where you think ‘This is nice, but maybe only in the temporary,’ that you’ll say so.”
“I will,” Spencer said. “You, too.”
Hadley nodded. “That will be our plan. We’ll just be, you know, honest. No hard feelings.”
“No hard feelings,” Spencer said, and stole another kiss. It was time to say good night, that much she knew, but she liked where this was heading. They’d constructed a straightforward strategy, eliminating invisible strings, and were proceeding with reasonable expectations. “Can I see you soon?”
“I was hoping you’d say so.” Hadley’s blue eyes sparkled once again with hope. Spencer didn’t ever want to be the one to dash it from those eyes, but they’d have to take things one step at a time. She was willing to try if Hadley was. They’d come together in a rush all over the course of a short time period, but what they had between them wasn’t something Spencer could minimize. Hell, after two dates, Hadley Cooper had her world standing on its side as she struggled to hang on one finger at a time. That’s the kind of power this unsuspecting woman wielded.
“I guess it’s good night for now,” Spencer said.
“For now,” Hadley repeated. She brushed her lips over Spencer’s softly, sending every nerve ending Spencer had into high alert. Hadley stood on the curb and watched as Spencer drove away. She glanced one last time in her rearview mirror, awestruck at Hadley and her windblown blond hair, what she made Spencer feel, and the concession she was able to pull from her, a concession Spencer never thought she’d make.
When it came to Hadley, she wanted to push her own boundaries. Well, she was at least willing to try. Time would tell if she was truly capable, and she did have her concerns. She didn’t want to angle her way through it, or play any kind of games, because Hadley deserved much more. Now all she had to do was figure out how to undo years of intellectual conditioning. Shouldn’t be too hard. She flipped on the radio to drown out the murmurings of self-doubt that whispered loudly in her ear.