Chapter Sixteen
Saying goodbye to my sister would have been a lot harder had she not felt it necessary to keep ribbing me about Billy. The last twenty-four hours felt like we were back in high school, and while I loved having her here and felt really guilty about having her take care of Lucky and me, I was relieved to be alone with my thoughts about Billy.
The truth was I’d turned into the total cliché. I slept with him and now I couldn’t get him out of my head. The idea of dismissing him was only going to work when he left town, and there was a big part of me that wished that wasn’t going to happen.
Lucky was curled up next to me, and I was waiting for the man of the hour to show up. My wrist had been throbbing recently, probably from using it so much at the resort yesterday, and I’d told him the door was unlocked so I didn’t have to get up again.
I was so conflicted about Billy. I wanted to know more about him, but I wasn’t sure if it wasn’t purely for selfish reasons. Was it just because I could hope I could change his mind about relationships? I’d like to think that wasn’t why.
But I also thought back to when we first met, and he didn’t seem completely against dating until we’d had a couple more interactions. Then it seemed like it turned to fun-only and nothing long-term. Or I was imagining it completely?
“Lucky, how did you know Lady was the one?” I whispered, and he let out an exasperated huff.
A car pulled up outside, and I immediately got excited at the thought of seeing Billy again.
Yeah, I had it bad.
Within a minute the front door opened and the energy of the house immediately changed. It felt warmer and more secure.
“Guess who just had her baby?” Billy asked, coming in with his favorite Pomeranian.
“Please tell me it’s not Lady,” I teased.
“If Lucky worked that fast…” Billy whistled. “So do you want to go visit?”
“Is she home?” I asked.
“No, over at the hospital.”
“I’d love to, but are you sure she wouldn’t mind? I’m not sure every woman would be thrilled when a stranger shows up right after she’s given birth.”
Billy’s expression fell. “Tiff, no one thinks of you as a stranger. That’s not how this place works.”
“I’ve only been here a little over a couple weeks, but that’s really sweet of you.”
He placed Lady next to Lucky on the couch and sat in the recliner.
“Everyone who meets you loves you and you’re going to be here for another couple months. Believe me, you won’t ever be able to shake these people off. They’re impossible to get rid of.”
“Present company included?” I asked, wondering if I’d ever hear from Billy once he took off. There’d be no reason to, and I fully expected not to, but I couldn’t help throwing it out there.
He propped his elbows on his knees and steadied his gaze on me. “You won’t be able to get rid of me very easily either.”
“Well...” I let out a quiet sigh, yet another conflicting message shared between the two of us.
“If I showed up at the hospital without you, I’m sure Maddie would be upset.” He straightened up.
I glanced at Lucky who didn’t look like he had any major plans for the day.
“I would love to see them and her new baby girl.”
“Good. Then it’s a date. We’ll drop Lady off at my house on our way, and we’ll get there before lunch.”
“Perfect.” A pulse of excitement pounded through me at the thought of getting to see Maddie and Chance’s new addition, and I wasn’t even completely sure why. There was something about these people—this island—that had some sort of magical pull over me.
And maybe it was about Billy. Maybe I loved the community of Hound Island so much I was trying to read things that weren’t there with Billy.
Billy scooped Lady away from Lucky and helped me up from the couch.
Feeling his hand wrapped around mine sent a spark of desire through me, which I quickly pushed away. I had to get a grip. He was leaving town a day from now, and I didn’t need to have a crush on a guy who I couldn’t locate. So, maybe it wasn’t just the island.
I gave Lucky a quick kiss and followed Billy out the door.
I’d been expecting things to be awkward since the other night, but they weren’t. They were strangely normal. I didn’t know if it was because he was used to sleeping with women he didn’t plan on pursuing a relationship with or if we happened to click. Either way, I was relieved because the thought of spending today and tomorrow with a man who didn’t want to see me sounded horrible.
“What’s got you quiet all of a sudden?” he asked, helping me into his car.
“I was thinking about the other night,” I confessed.
His gaze ignited with the same heat I’d come to love, and I blushed.
“It’s pretty hard not to think about that night.” He shut the door and walked over with Lady still in his hand. He buckled her in the backseat, and I held in a chuckle as he tugged the straps to double-check the tightness.
We drove in the opposite direction of the ferry as we made our way to his house. I didn’t really know what to expect, but what we pulled up to wasn’t like anything I’d imagined for him.
A sprawling one-story home sat behind a wrought-iron gate where a separate oversized garage or workshop was also located. The piece of property was large but still manageable with a riding lawnmower.
Billy drove up to the gate and punched in a code.
“Fancy,” I joked and Billy laughed.
“It came with the house. I’m not sure who the previous owners thought might come for them here, but I haven’t had the time to get it removed.”
“Well, I’m sure Lady doesn’t mind feeling that extra protection, and it’s probably a good idea since you’re going to be gone for so long.”
“True.” He nodded as he pulled down the long driveway toward his home, and I took in everything about it.
The house had a wraparound porch, and I spotted several fruit trees dotting the driving. There were even a few apples still clutching on for dear life.
“The fruit trees are what sold me on the place. The backyard is filled with them.”
“What do you do with them?”
He parked in front of his house. “All kinds of things. I made peach filling for pie, peach jam, apple butter, apple filling, pear marmalade.”
My heart warmed hearing him list all the things he’d made with the fruit, and I let out a little chuckle. I didn’t know why, but I loved that this big, burly man with tattoos was spending time in his kitchen making jam.
“What? I don’t look like the pie-making kind of guy to you?” He smiled and opened his door.
“I plead the fifth.”
“Did you want to come in?” he asked, climbing out of the car.
I did want to see what his house looked like, but I wasn’t sure if I went in if we’d ever get to see Maddie, and my wrist was still throbbing quite a bit.
“Nah. I’d only hold us up.”
He was already in the backseat taking Lady out of her harness.
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
I nodded and watched him take Lady up to his house.
His home was gorgeous. No doubt about it. And very large. I wondered what all was inside it and how it was decorated. Was he more rustic or edgy? Modern?
By the time he made it back to the car, I’d come up with an entire home that probably looked nothing like it really did. And worse yet, it was something I shouldn’t even care about.
“You know, I was thinking…” he began.
“Uh-oh. That sounds dangerous.”
“I’d love to have you and your parents over for dinner tomorrow when they get into town.”
Of all the things I’d expected him to say, this wasn’t one of them. I swallowed back my surprise and glanced back at his house.
“Or not,” he quickly added. “If it’s too much.”
“No,” I nearly choked out. “Not too much at all, but I’d feel bad since you’re heading out of town and all the next day.”
He turned around in his driveway and made our way back onto the main road.
“I’m all packed. There’s nothing left for me to do but load up Lady and hit the road.” He glanced over at me and smiled. “Besides, I can’t have you thinking Chance is the best cook on the island. After all, we went to the same school.”
I laughed and felt my heart warm even more toward Billy, but I also recognized we were both a walking set of contradictions. Neither of us thought we wanted more, yet we were determined to share who we were with one another, at least little by little.
It sounded like the start of a relationship to me.
“My parents would love it, but after all you’ve done for me, I feel like I should be the one making you dinner.”
“Maybe another time.” He slid his hand over mine, and my chest tightened as his words rattled around in my head.
I honestly hadn’t pictured another time beyond tomorrow. He’d be cruising across America, and I’d be onto my next job, but the way he said it made me believe there could be, and I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t try to read between the lines.
“Well, the pressure’s on my friend.” I looked over at him and he smiled. “Chance makes a killer decadent cake.”
“Who do you think gave him that recipe?” He winked at me, and my heart only melted more.
“No, you didn’t.”
“I did.” He laughed as we pulled onto the ferry and parked. “Why do you seem so surprised?”
“I don’t know.” I cocked my head and studied the man I’d really come to like. “You seem so full of surprises. There’s so much about you I want to discover, and I know I shouldn’t.”
“Shouldn’t what?” His eyes stayed on mine.
“Shouldn’t want to uncover more about you.” I swallowed and glanced out the windshield to see the ferry workers directing traffic in the next lane over. “I can do this purely fun, no commitment thing as long as I don’t know that much about you, but the more I learn…” My voice trailed off, and he let out a soft sigh.
“That’s how I’ve been feeling since I met you.” His confession did all kinds of things to me, but it wasn’t like either of us was making the steps to change the course of our non relationship.
“The timing is probably perfect.” I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. “You’ll take off before we start to go down the wrong path, and by the time you come back, I’ll be gone. No harm. No foul.” I didn’t quite believe what I was saying, but it looked like he did.
“It’s funny how something that seems so uncomplicated can turn into something of a mess.” He slid his hand to mine, and I adjusted my foot, not wanting to look at him while I was processing his words. I didn’t think this was a mess. I thought I was keeping it clean. “When I saw you with Lucky that first day, I felt something I’d never felt and then when you spoke…”
“When I spoke what?” I finally looked at Billy.
“I knew you’d give me a run for my money.” He laughed. “I simply didn’t realize how quickly I’d fall for you. You seemed so set on this idea of fun and nothing more.”
“So did you.”
He nodded. “Well, I’ve never let myself go down that road with anyone who didn’t fully understand that there can be nothing more.”
The ferry docked, and we drove through the heart of Fireweed Island toward the hospital, which turned out to be near the orthopedic clinic. Thick silence hung in the air between us. I didn’t know what to say. I thought I’d done a good job of keeping things casual. I didn’t think I was messy or this was a mess. I thought I’d followed the rules.
Granted, sleeping with him complicated things a bit for me internally, but I certainly hadn’t let Billy onto that, and he was the one inviting my family over for dinner. In fact, he was the one complicating things for himself. Not for me.
I let out an exasperated huff and turned to face him as he parked.
“I fully accepted that there can be nothing more with you and me. I didn’t even ask why. I just went with it. I’m still going with it. In fact, I think I’ve been the perfect just-for-fun kind of girl.” My temper started to flare to life. “Actually, this isn’t all about you. I also didn’t want anything long-term, remember? You’re not the only one with secrets.”
I didn’t actually have any, but it sounded good in the moment.
My eyes flashed to Billy’s and rather than look offended or insulted or angry back, he looked like he was trying to hold in a bit of laughter, which only infuriated me more.
“It’s not funny.” I glared at him.
“Not a bit.” He nodded. “But it does remind me of the first day I met you.”
“I wasn’t angry.” My hand rested on the door handle.
“You weren’t exactly impressed.”
“Impressed with what?” My brow arched.
“Me.”
“Please.” I rolled my eyes. “I couldn’t get you out of my head. “But only because we’d talked about fun so much,” I added.
“You’re really cute when you’re mad.”
“I’m not mad.”
“This isn’t mad?”
“Oh, no, buddy. You ought to see me when I’m really mad. I have no reason to be angry now, right? This is all fun and games for a couple more days. I knew what I was getting into and so did you. Obviously, by this conversation we can each see that we aren’t cut out for something serious, anyway.”
“You know, it wasn’t only me who said I wasn’t looking for something long-term.”
“I know. I said that. That’s precisely why I’m not upset about it.”
Billy looked bemused as I opened the door and hopped out of the car and to the back door where I pulled my crutches off of the backseat.
I had absolutely no idea why I got so mad, but the anger wouldn’t stop flowing and it was ridiculous. I didn’t care where this was going. I had no reason to be angry, yet here I was completely furious.
He came around and slid his arm around my waist and pulled me toward him. And as if on schedule, the sexual tension flowing between us was nearly unbearable. If I didn’t have a broken leg, I just might have figured out a way to push him in the backseat and…
“All I was trying to say was that I thought I could keep it casual with you, but I’m not so sure any longer.” His eyes locked on mine and I forced a swallow as his gaze fell to my mouth. “But I know what I’m like. I know what’s happened to me before. What I’ve done before and I need to protect you.”
“So you’re protecting me by pretending we don’t feel things for one another.”
“Yes. I’m protecting you.” He brought his eyes back to mine. “I’m protecting us both. I know what I want, but I can’t do that to you. I’ve made a mess of things. I wasn’t going to sleep with you and then I did. It’s good that I’m leaving the day after tomorrow. It really is.”
“You sure about that?” I asked, breathing in.
“It has to be that way. No matter what I think I want, I know what I need to do.”
“I wish I knew why you felt that way.”
He placed a gentle kiss along my mouth and all I felt was a lump in the back of my throat. There was no more pretending there could be something more. I didn’t need to read anything into our dinner tomorrow. He was being kind while being cruel simultaneously.
“Then no more of that,” I whispered. “If we’re just friends, we’re just friends.”
“I respect that.”
“Remember, I knew what I was getting into and so did you.” I squeezed his hand. “But I’m not a masochist. I don’t want to keep reminding myself of what I can’t have, so no more of those.”
Billy dipped his head in agreement, and we walked into the hospital. Following the directions to the maternity wing, we spotted Maddie and Chance’s room, and I tried to shake the heavy feelings overwhelming my senses. This morning, I was fine, and I’d be fine again tomorrow.
We stood outside the room and I glanced at Billy.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he whispered. “My mind is so messed up right now and I never should have—”
“It’s fine. Nothing has changed. We started the fling to have fun and that’s how it will end. No big deal.”
But it felt like a big deal. No matter what I did to fool myself over the last couple weeks, there was a tiny part of me that hoped we’d both see what this was differently by the end, that my silly crush would make me believe in love again.
I tried to pretend the world didn’t just drop out from under me, and I took a deep breath as we walked into Maddie’s hospital room.
Chance was standing by her side, beaming, and it made me instantly forget everything that Billy said as Chance held their little girl.
“I’m so glad you made it,” Maddie said, looking as beautiful as ever. Her hair was pulled behind her head, and I realized only she could make a hospital gown look flattering. “Billy mentioned you might be coming and I was so excited. Holly will be bummed she missed you.”
“I wouldn’t miss seeing your little girl for the world.”
And I truly meant it. Even if Billy and I turned out to be nothing more than what we were now, I knew I’d found something special on Hound Island and that was enough for me.