Chapter Thirteen
Janie sat on the couch in Chelsea’s office, fidgeting uncomfortably while Chelsea silently regarded her from the seat adjacent to the couch. “So,” Janie finally said, trying to break the uncomfortable quiet. “Where do we start?”
Chelsea looked briefly at the legal pad on her lap, before meeting Janie’s gaze, a small frown on her face. “Brad told me a little of what happened, so we can start wherever you’d like. Do you want to tell me in your own words about last night, or would you like to start by talking about something else?”
“Something else?” Janie narrowed her eyes, shocked at Chelsea’s easygoing manner. “Aren’t we here to talk about the assault?”
Chelsea shrugged, tucking long brown hair behind her ear. “If that’s what you want to talk about. Brad said based on conversations you all had today, there might be more you need and want to speak about. I’m here to listen to whatever’s bothering you. We can talk about the attack you suffered in later sessions, if that’s what you’d prefer.”
“You really don’t care if we just chat?” Janie asked. “Don’t you want to judge me about Jaden and tell me how wrong I am for sleeping with random men just to prove I hold some slim margin of power over my life?”
“We all make choices based on our past, Janie. Heck, if I’d realized how empowering and fun sex was before meeting Brad...” She shrugged. “Who knows what I could have done?”
So, Chelsea really wouldn’t judge her for her sexual exploits? That was surprising.
“You don’t want to call me a slut and say how this was my fault?”
Chelsea’s eyebrows raised. “I think you’re doing enough on your own. But, really, that way of thinking will have to stop. What that man did to you, that was on him, not you.”
Chelsea didn’t blame her. She was surprised, but grateful. A small glimmer of hope whispered inside her heart. If I’m brave and work on myself, maybe someday I can be a person worthy of that storybook romance.
***
It had been two weeks since Janie was attacked.
Archer did another lap around the living room before sitting on the couch, smiling when little Lilly approached him, holding out her favorite stuffed bear. “Are you letting me hold him?” he asked.
Lilly chucked the bear at him, a smile on her cherubic face, and squealed with delight.
A glance at the clock revealed that Janie would be home from work anytime. Before too long, Larissa would come in to take Lilly for her bath. The daily routines of the McCallister household had started to feel natural. Archer was even able to help out in the kitchen a tiny bit, performing small tasks to help Larissa cook the meals.
Tonight, he’d instructed her on making home-made pasta, and he couldn’t wait for Janie to get home and try it. Larissa had followed his instructions to the letter, and Archer had been the one to mix the sauce. It turned out delicious. Larissa and Lilly had even left him alone for a time, going to take a serving over to Quinn and visit him for a while.
It was nice to feel useful. Another few weeks, and perhaps he’d be ready to return to work.
Throughout this time, he’d only felt closer to Janie and more convinced of his growing love for her. He could never tell her that, since she was still obviously traumatized by what that bastard had done to her, but Archer hoped his quiet support would one day make Janie realize what she meant to him, and hopefully that he meant the same to her.
Right on cue, Larissa entered the living room. “Come on, little girl. Time for a bath and then beddy-bye. Give Uncle Archer a kiss.” Larissa picked Lilly up, leaning them over Archer so he could kiss Lilly’s cheek.
“Goodnight, princess. Sweet dreams.”
Larissa smiled at him. “Are you sure you can handle helping Janie get dinner? I don’t want you overworking those ribs and hurting yourself.”
Archer nodded. “I’ve got this, don’t worry. I’m getting stronger every day.”
“Well, that’s true.” She gave him a grin that looked a little complicated, as though she wasn’t sure how to feel. “You know she had therapy again today, right?”
Three times a week, and Archer had the schedule committed to memory. He nodded. “What about it?”
“She seems so fragile on therapy days. I just wanted to remind you, that’s all.”
“You know I’d never do anything to hurt her,” Archer replied, realizing Larissa just needed reassurances that she was doing the right thing by entrusting Archer with her best friend’s care. “I love her, Larissa, just like you said. I’m not telling her that anymore, unwilling to push her faster than she’s ready for something, but that doesn’t stop what I feel. I’ll be here with open arms, ready to be whatever she needs me to be.”
When the sound of the front door opening interrupted them, Larissa let out a smile that looked more natural. “I know that. Thanks, Archer.”
She stepped out to the foyer, her bright voice ringing out. “Welcome home, Auntie Janie. Give Miss Lilly kisses quick. I’m giving her a bath and putting her to bed.”
Janie’s mellow laugh reverberated through the room, making Archer smile reflexively.
“Glad I didn’t miss you, sweet girl.” Janie said, the sound of a loud smacking kiss, followed by Lilly’s laughter, reaching Archer. “If I’d been caught at work another second, I would have arrived home too late. That would have been horrible.”
Lilly squealed again, and both women laughed.
A few moments later, Janie entered the living room. “Hey there,” she called, smiling. “How’s the ribs, gimpy?”
She looked truly happy. That was unusual for her after a therapy session. Usually, she was quiet and brooding, so different from the girl he normally saw. Archer hadn’t let it bother him, quickly realizing therapy made her examine herself more closely than she ever had. He suspected the brooding mood was her reflecting on whatever she and Chelsea talked about. That had to be a good thing.
One other notable difference since she started seeing Chelsea—Janie came home every night, never going on dates. Part of Archer felt relieved that he had less competition for Janie’s attention. At the same time, he hoped she wasn’t doing it because she still blamed herself for the assault. They hadn’t talked about it at all since she started therapy, and he wouldn’t press her for details of what she was feeling.
“The ribs are doing great,” he replied. “Getting stronger every day. I’m glad you have a smile on your face tonight, but I’m about to make it even bigger.”
She blinked in surprise. “You are, are you? What’s up?”
He rose from the couch, able to do it more easily than even the day before. He softly took her hand, leading her to the kitchen. “Dinner is special tonight.”
“In what way?”
He took her to the center island in the kitchen, pulling out the stool on the far side from the stove with only a slight groan of pain. “Your table, my lady.”
She giggled, sitting in the seat and twisting to look at him. “Such gallantry, kind sir. What’s the occasion?”
“I had a bit of help from Larissa,” he replied. “But I’ve finally cooked your dinner.”
“You have?” Her eyes lit up and she clapped, looking just like an excited schoolgirl. Therapy must have gone very well today indeed. He’d never seen her this relaxed and carefree.
“Larissa promised me that you love pasta, so I hope you like my own personal recipe.”
Going to the stove where he’d left the sauce on low, he quickly tipped fresh noodles into the waiting pot of lightly boiling water. “It’ll just take a moment, so sit tight. There’s also bread in that covered basket in front of you.”
“I hope you didn’t overdo it,” she said, unwrapping the napkin covering the bread basket and snagging one of the breadsticks inside. She munched on it, obviously hungry after her workday.
Archer chuckled. “You and Larissa really are like sisters. You sound just like her.”
“Ha! Are you saying we’re both nags?”
“Oh, no!” Archer turned to her with wide eyes, suppressing a smile. “I’d never say that about such a fair lady as yourself.”
She pulled off a piece of the bread and chucked it at him, pegging him in the shoulder. “Shut it, chef boy. I can tell when you’re making fun of me.”
Archer couldn’t believe how happy this little banter back and forth made him. “You must have had a good day. It’s great seeing that beautiful smile.” He hurriedly turned back to the stove to check the noodles, not wanting to see if his compliment made her uncomfortable.
To his surprise, she giggled again. “You can read me so well, Archer. I didn’t know before how good that could feel, having someone understand how I’m feeling.”
He quickly turned back, startled. “You like it?”
She nodded, hoping off her stool and rounding the center island. Surprisingly, she wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. “You’ve been here for me this whole time, sitting here with quiet understanding and no demands. I don’t think you realize how much that’s meant to me. I’m sure you’ve had questions, and I know you’ve been worried, but just having you nearby has been such a comfort.”
Ever since the meeting with Brad and Matt, Archer had forced himself to quit holding Janie, deciding that she probably needed a bit of space and time to think things over. Especially considering how hard the therapy had seemed to be on her. For the past few weeks, his goal had been to be her friend and nothing more. She wasn’t in a state of mind to think about anything besides herself right now, and that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. While she sorted everything out, he didn’t want to thrust his own feelings on her and give her more to deal with than she could handle.
But if she was the one initiating contact between them...
Without hesitation, he closed his arms around her, heart singing with joy that she wanted to be in his embrace. “I’ll always be here,” he promised.
She looked up, nodding slightly. “I’m beginning to believe that, but it’s scary in its own way.”
“You don’t need to be afraid of that, but all I can do is prove that to you over time.” He looked down at her face, pleased at how relaxed and happy she appeared. “Did something good happen today? You seem a lot better than you’ve been.”
She nodded. “I feel a lot better than I’ve felt. When you first agreed that I should see Chelsea, I thought you were crazy. How could I talk to a complete stranger? But, she’s really great, and I feel like I’m making real progress. Today was sort of a breakthrough, and I’m feeling great about it.”
“That’s wonderful.” He released her, not wanting to seem too clingy and also needing to get the pasta noodles out of the water before they turned to mush.
She readily let go, returning to the bar stool to watch him while he mixed the pasta with the sauce. “It smells delicious. I can’t wait until you’re well enough to make me all sorts of foods. I want to try all your recipes.”
Archer didn’t even try to suppress his happy grin as he carefully crossed the kitchen and placed the food in front of her, sitting on the barstool next to hers. Carrie had never understood or cared about his passion for food. When he’d been excited about a new twist he’d come up with on an old recipe or had created something entirely new and wanted to share that with her, she’d tolerated it at best, usually with harsh criticism as to why Archer’s meals paled compared to the original recipes.
It felt like, with Janie by his side, he’d finally found someone who would support him, take part in his dream as a willing sidekick to his passions for food, and give him a bit of praise. Not that he wanted someone to lie if his new creations tasted worse than dog food, but it would be nice cooking meals for someone who so obviously appreciated it.
Janie forked the first mouthful in, letting out a soft moan of contentment that upped Archer’s heart rate. He was sure she didn’t mean to be sexy, but the look of pure enjoyment on her face mixed with that soft moan... it made him feel more desire for her than ever before.
“It’s so good,” she said after swallowing. “I thought it was Alfredo sauce, but it doesn’t taste like garlic. I’ve never had anything like this before.”
Archer let out a laugh when she quickly shoved another bite into her mouth. “I played around with the ingredients a bit, using spices Larissa has here to make it different. Is it truly that good?”
“Mmmhmm.” She took another bite, brown eyes sparkling with joy. “If I had food like this waiting for me every night, I’d never want for anything again.”
Archer studied her face, wondering if it was his imagination that her cheeks reddened a bit beneath her dark skin. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? If she had him around, she didn’t need to look for other men? Was it okay for him to hope that’s what she meant?
Clearing his throat, he reached for a breadstick just to give him something to focus on rather than his increased pulse and the happy hope filling his chest. “If that’s what it takes, once I’m better, you could come home to me every night. I’d always make sure to fulfill every desire you might have.” He paused, picking at the bread a few seconds. “In the kitchen.”
A titer of laughter sounded beside him, and he looked at her again, overjoyed to see the sparkle of amusement in her eyes.
“Only in the kitchen?” She arched an eyebrow. “That wouldn’t satisfy everything, but it’s a good place to start.”
She hadn’t been flirty much the last two weeks, and the tension Archer had carried around, wondering if Jaden had broken her spirit, slowly eased. She’d needed time to process, needed time to come to terms with what happened, but it seemed she was feeling like herself again. The best part of that was, she’d still chosen to come home to him, not find a date.
“Does this mean I can plan on you coming home after work from now on?” he asked. “Should I doublecheck whether you have plans, or just make dinner every night and know you’ll be here.”
Her flirty smile slid from her face. “I won’t be going out anymore, but it’s not your responsibility to take care of me. Not that I don’t appreciate the meal, but Larissa and I are helping you to heal, so don’t worry about making dinner all the time.”
“But cooking for someone I care so much about makes me happy.”
She narrowed her eyes and looked down at her plate. “Why?”
Her simple question caught him off guard. “Why what?”
“I’ve been working on my feelings a lot with Chelsea, so I understand why I care about...” She stopped talking and let out a low sigh. “I just don’t get it. Why do you care for me? I’m damaged goods, Archer, and you’re so wonderful.”
Although she’d had a good day today, it seemed Janie wasn’t one-hundred percent yet. He wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, but held himself back, knowing it wasn’t what she needed right now. She’d been treated like an object for so long, having men be perfectly happy to use her, that he wanted to make sure she knew he was her friend first. He cared about the person she was, not what they could do in the bedroom. Not that he was opposed to bedding her in the future, but not anytime soon. He’d take as many cold showers as he had to, waiting until she was ready for a real relationship.
“We’re all damaged goods, Angel,” he replied. “I was raised by two drug addicts who couldn’t care less about me. There were so many nights I huddled under my blankets, afraid of the people my parents brought home to party with. Cooking was the only escape I had to get away from my damage. So, while you turned to sex to control the things that happened in your past, I turned to cooking. It doesn’t make me any better than you, it just means I had a different outlet.”
She glanced up, a frown marring her pretty face and crease lines between her eyebrows. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how bad you had it growing up. You told me about your cheating ex, but not your parents.” Letting out a soft sigh, she reached over and placed her hand across his that covered the now-shredded breadstick. He hadn’t even realized he’d done that while he talked to her. “This whole friendship has been all about me and making me feel better, and that’s not fair. I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” he said, forcing a smile. “It’s not like you’ve been selfish and refused to listen to my past. I just haven’t opened up and told you everything yet.”
She gave a short nod. “Because you have trust issues too and didn’t know if telling me would accomplish anything.”
“Yes. When we first met and I found out about your dating history, I thought I could never count on someone like that.”
Her face twitched, but she didn’t comment. He knew his words might hurt her a bit, but he had to be honest for them to move forward. It was important she understood his thought process and how it had changed so that her trust in him could continue to grow.
“It didn’t take me long to figure out I was wrong,” he continued. “You’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. These past few weeks, living with you, have been some of the happiest I’ve ever had. It feels like we’re a family here, what with Larissa and Lilly in the mix. I’ve never had that. I always longed for it, but after I found out Carrie was sleeping around on me, I decided I didn’t deserve a family and I’d never get one.”
Her hand tightened around his briefly, as though to tell him she understood the feelings he struggled with.
He shook his head and forced another smile, this one a bit more natural. “Enough about that, though. It’s not good to dwell and be sad when things are going well right now. You had a great day today, and I did too. Being able to cook, even if Larissa did most of the work, was such a rush. I’m truly content tonight and happy I could impress you with the food. Eat up before it gets too cold.”
She turned back to her plate without argument, happiness once again suffusing her features as she enjoyed her meal. Once she’d finished off the last of the pasta and sopped the sauce up with a breadstick, she patted her tummy and let out a satisfied grunt. “I’ll be home every night, so don’t worry about that. I’ll come home to our little family, however long our time together lasts. You don’t have to push yourself to cook if you aren’t feeling up to it, but I’d be happy to eat any dinner you want to try out.”
“Janie.” He smiled, the urge to kiss her overwhelming him. He leaned in, and she didn’t back away, but at the last second, he forced himself to move the kiss to her cheek. “Thank you. Even once we leave here, maybe you and I—” He abruptly cut himself off, shaking his head. “One day at a time. Keep working on yourself, and we can revisit this conversation later.”
Even though she nodded in agreement, her eyes glistened and a wide smile suffused her face with even more beauty. It seemed she had understood what he was saying, and it didn’t sound as though she were against that possibility of them continuing to be together.
For now, he could be happy just dreaming of the possibilities.