Chapter Fifteen
Two weeks since Janie agreed to date Archer, their relationship still seemed the same as it was before. They sometimes went for walks in the evenings and held hands and kissed, but he hadn’t invited her back into his bed, and neither one of them had mentioned the ‘L’ word.
Janie looked at Chelsea during her therapy appointment. “Will I ever be normal?”
Chelsea narrowed her eyebrows. “Normal?”
“I can’t even tell the man I’m wild about that I love him. I’m too damn scared that this will all come crashing down if I do.” Janie shrugged, feeling a bit helpless. “Even before the crap with Jaden, I couldn’t have admitted that I love Archer.”
“But you have fallen in love with him, right?”
If she said it out loud, would that make it all go away? Throughout the past month she’d started to realize what happened with Jaden really wasn’t her fault. She knew her self-worth a bit more through the encouragement from both the therapist, Larissa, and Archer. Still, that didn’t mean she could trust things to continue going well. What if saying she loved him was what undid the entire thing?
“I… I can’t say it.”
Chelsea shook her head in a way she had to let Janie know the therapist thought Janie had missed some essential truth that most people understood. “How long do you think a relationship with him can last if you never admit your true feelings?”
“What if I say something like that and he leaves? I can’t handle that.”
“Janie, just because you don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean it isn’t already true,” Chelsea said, tone gentle. “If he left you tomorrow, would you be any less sad because you hadn’t admitted that you loved him?”
Probably not. She already knew the truth. She did love him, loved him more than she’d ever loved a man. Being with him made her so happy, and even if they hadn’t been having sex every night like she’d normally do, deep down she understood why they weren’t. Archer was trying to let her work on herself without pushing her. Intellectually she got that, emotionally things were different.
“Let me put this another way,” Chelsea said when Janie didn’t respond. “What are you going to do if he ends up leaving because you won’t tell him your honest feelings?”
The woman had a point. She longed to hear whether Archer loved her, thought about it all the time. He must be the same, wanting the woman he dated to express her feelings.
She gave Chelsea a firm nod. “I can’t keep being afraid, can I?”
The therapist shook her head. “Not if you want to take control of your life in a healthy way. You need to give yourself over to love instead of using sex. I really think you have to make this step to ever fully control your life, but I can’t make you do it.”
“No, you’re right. I need to.” Janie took in a shaky breath, realizing she was frightened but also a bit exhilarated. “I’m going to tell him tonight. I will no longer be bound by my past or stuck there. I’m taking control. That starts with being honest and letting Archer know how I really feel. I can do this.”
***
Archer sat across the table from Quinn and Larissa, smiling as he watched Quinn feed Lilly her dinner. They were so happy together. Quinn painted other people’s families as part of his job, but Archer thought the three of them together made an art-worthy scene.
And, unfortunately, the time had come for him to step away from this happy family and let them have their house back. He received permission from Dr. Peterson to return to work starting tomorrow, keeping to light duty. Shane already agreed to have him start at Paradise Point, helping with prep work tomorrow morning. He was cooking all the meals entirely on his own here at the house, so he was sure he could handle his job. There was no reason to keep living in Quinn and Larissa’s house.
Well, no reason except for Janie. He strained his ears, listening for the sound of the front door, counting down the minutes until she’d return from work and he could see her again. He needed to have a serious talk with her. Quinn hadn’t asked them to leave yet, but Archer knew it was coming.
He needed to secure his future with her before that. They were in their own bubble here, and things had been fine the past two weeks, but that would all change when they weren’t living together. He had to make sure she knew how committed he was to her. He didn’t want things changing once they left, unless the changes were for them to grow even closer.
“Archer?” Quinn’s deep voice pulled him from his thoughts. “Everything okay over there?”
Archer looked up, grinning. “Sure. I was just thinking how great your family is. Also, I know I’m in the way here. The doctor said I was well enough to return to work, so I guess that means I should go back to my apartment in the employee housing. I’m not sure how to thank you guys for everything you’ve done for me.”
Larissa and Quinn exchanged a quick glance, then Larissa turned to him with her eyebrows drawn together. “You don’t have to leave yet. We said you could stay for six weeks.”
Quinn’s expression looked a bit pained, but he nodded in agreement with his wife.
Archer smiled, shaking his head. “That’s really great of you, but I don’t want to wear out my welcome. That said, it’s felt really nice being a part of a family. I’ve never really had that, so as much as I know it is time to leave, I’m reluctant to go.”
Larissa looked at Quinn again, likely wanting him to take up the conversation.
Of course, the man was obviously desperately in love with his wife and willing to do whatever she wanted, so he quickly took over. “Even if you go home, it doesn’t make you less of a part of our family. It was nice knowing that Larissa and Lilly weren’t stuck here on their own, especially since there were so many nights I slept at the studio on the couch and didn’t even come home. I felt like with you and Janie here, I didn’t have to worry about Larissa being lonely, and it meant a lot to me. Janie’s always been family, but you are now too.”
“Exactly,” Larissa chimed in. “Besides, I’ll miss your cooking. These last two weeks have been awesome. Shane sometimes cooks for us, but it’s not a regular thing to get a professional chef in our kitchen. We have family dinners once a week when the resort’s business is a bit slower. We’ll probably start that back up in another month or so. We’d love it if you and Janie would start being a regular couple at those dinners. Of course, I’d expect you to help cook so I could enjoy your food again.”
“Me and Janie at family dinners, huh?” It was Archer’s turn to furrow his brows and look away. “I need to have a serious conversation with her. I haven’t wanted to push her too quickly, but I need to tell her what I want to come out of this budding relationship.”
“She wants the same things you do,” Larissa said.
Hope filled Archer with warmth. “She told you she wanted to be with me long term?”
The warmth quickly faded when Larissa shook her head. “Not in so many words.”
“Well, then I still have reason to worry.”
Quinn let out a little bark of laughter. “I can understand you not taking Larissa’s word for it. She has a tendency to romanticize everything. That said, I’ve seen you and Janie together the past few nights. I agree with Larissa. Go for it, Archer. She cares about you as much as you care for her.”
Quinn didn’t seem like the type to say something he didn’t mean, and Archer’s confidence returned in the face of the couples’ solid agreement. “Is it okay if we stay here tonight? I’d like a chance to talk with her. It’s important that she understands I’m not playing around, and I won’t leave her the way her father did. I’m in this for life.”
“She’ll understand that.” Larissa chewed on her bottom lip, suddenly looking worried. “Speaking of her father, has he called again?”
Archer shook his head. “If he has, she didn’t tell me about it.”
At that moment, the sound of the front door opening stopped their conversation.
Archer’s palms suddenly dampened with sweat and he hastily rubbed them against his pants.
Janie strutted into the dining room, flashing a smile to everyone before taking the seat near Archer. “Hey, guys.”
They all gave her a greeting, and Archer stood to dish a slice of the lasagna he’d prepared from the serving plate. He pulled the salad bowl close, so Janie could reach it, before returning to his chair.
“It smells heavenly.” She flashed him a sunny smile. “Thank you for cooking again.”
Over the past two weeks, he’d made every meal he could think of. It was all part of his plan to be a good boyfriend and win Janie’s heart completely. Larissa had been a willing accomplice, obtaining ingredients no matter how extravagant the meal.
“Enjoy it,” he said, smiling reflexively when she took a bite and let out a low murmur of contentment. “Once we return to employee housing, I won’t be able to afford all these high-quality ingredients. It’ll be simpler fare for dinner after that.”
Her eyes widened a bit, and she swallowed quickly. “If you’re cooking, I’ll help pay. Whatever it takes to keep eating like a queen.”
Her words reassured him that she still planned on spending time together, and he laughed. “Don’t worry about money. I’m able to return to work starting tomorrow, so I’ll do whatever it takes to make my queen happy.”