Vanessa
Hunter followed Vanessa back to her apartment, still reeling over the fact that she’d invited him. He was hoping to get her to open up to him, and she had, but he never imagined this. They couldn’t drive fast enough.
Inside her apartment, he sat close to her on the sofa in her living room. He had to keep looking away to avoid that same drawn-in feeling he felt before. He still didn’t think she was ready for that, but she was like a magnet to his body. He wanted to move closer, but he forced himself to stay put, reminding himself that she likely didn’t invite him back here for a booty call.
He had to act like he didn’t want her so badly. Not just for her sake, to take things slow, but he still had a job to do. Jeremy had paid him $25,000 to kill this woman. And that meant there would be only two outcomes. Either Hunter would have to kill Vanessa, or Jeremy would come and take his money back. And likely not leave either of them alive. So there was really one choice now. Protect Opal and Vanessa at all costs, knowing Jeremy had hired a hit man once to kill her. He’d do it again. And he’d already shown plenty of violence toward her in the past. Jeremy was not someone to be taken lightly. The van, too, was worrying him. There might already be someone on him, or tailing her.
“Can I ask,” she said, pouring them more wine.
He raised an eyebrow, waiting for her question.
“Well, you said earlier that your old man was mean. I guess I was just wondering what you meant by that.”
“That.” He picked up his glass and took a sip, wishing she had beer instead. “Well, let’s just say that I know exactly how Opal feels.”
“Your father hit you?”
“My father, my mother, sometimes even aunts and uncles if they were around and bored. Bunch of junkies, all of them. Always high on something or drunk off their asses. I come from a long line of no-good criminals and addicts.”
“I’m sorry they were all like that.” She reached over and put her hand on his knee. The warmth ran through him at her touch.
“It’s all I ever knew. My whole life I was told I was nothing and would never be anything. They called me stupid and put me down all the time. Miracle I even made it this far. Or finished high school. They wanted me to fail. They didn’t even come to my high school graduation. Or anything at the school. They weren’t involved in my life at all, unless it was to go get them more cigarettes or make a run.”
“What sort of run?”
“Pick up drugs, drop off drugs, whatever. The riskier the exchange, the more likely I’d be the one to go. They said it was much less likely that a kid would get robbed or shot, so it was better for everyone if I went. I’ve been mugged more times than I can count, been beaten almost to death, was stabbed a few times, and was even shot once. All doing their business.”
Vanessa gasped and put her hand to her mouth. “That’s so terrible.”
He shrugged. “Eventually I got out of there. Left them to their own devices. They didn’t last long. Both died less than five years after I left home. Guess they had no one to buy food or do their dirty work anymore.”
He decided to leave out the part how when they died, he hadn’t gone to either funeral. Not because he didn’t want to. He didn’t have the choice whether or not he wanted to. At the time he was in prison, serving a ten-year sentence. He’d always been something of a protector, so when his high school girlfriend told him her father was abusing her, he took care of it like he never got to take care of his own parents. It was his first kill. He remembered how it felt. Powerful, dangerous, wrong. Might have been his only kill, except that he found out later she’d lied. The man had never touched her. That anger and deep-seated distrust flared hot in him and never cooled down. It gave him the hard edge he had now. But the protector in him wasn’t dead. Vanessa and Opal were resurrecting it. And maybe that wasn’t the only thing.
For a moment, he considered telling her all of this. But this was a first date, and she had trust issues. This wasn’t the time. Maybe someday.
Vanessa reached for a tissue and dabbed at her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“It’s just so wrong what they did to you.”
It took a second for her action and her statement to come together in his mind. “You’re crying… for me?”
She nodded. “I’m sorry. I hate to think of anyone going through what I went through, and what they did to you was so much worse. I wish I had the capacity to kill sometimes. It might be awful to say that, but I can’t help it. Did you ever fantasize about killing your parents?”
Hunter chuckled. If she only knew. “Only every night.”
“I guess they’re lucky that you turned out nothing like them.”
Right. Lucky that he turned to murder before drugs and wasn’t around to be able to kill them. No doubt he would have eventually if the lowlifes hadn’t done the job for him. Sometimes the desire was still there. He still had wonderful dreams where he got to kill them. Got to point a gun at their heads. Got to beat them to death. Got to cut them and torture them like they had to him.
Vanessa dabbed at her eyes again and brought him back to the present. She was crying for him. Feeling something for him, because of what he’d been through. Never had anyone cared like that for him. No one ever cared what happened to him. He was always the one brushed aside, forgotten and left behind. Never the one being listened to and cried for.
He dropped his eyes to the floor. If he had the emotional capacity, he might tear up himself.
# # #
“Do you want to dance?” Vanessa asked. Seeing him quiet and sad had made her bold. She felt more comfortable with him than she had with anyone in a long time and she wanted to keep it going, wanted to see how close they could be.
She got up and went to the little wireless speaker sitting on the TV. She opened the app on her new, pre-paid phone, and started playing music. The sound quality wasn’t good. Nothing like the full sound system she’d had in the house with Jeremy, but it was better than nothing. She stood there, a little awkward, waiting for him.
He seemed to be considering for a moment, then got up and took her hand. He pulled her close and held her as they swayed. It wasn’t so much dancing as it was the stiff sway of the high school couple at their first dance, but it was the nicest thing she’d felt in a long time.
For once, she didn’t feel like a mother. She wore no functional-but-not-flattering clothing. She wasn’t wearing the uniform of a school nurse. And she didn’t have on one single bruise that proved she was a survivor. She should feel good about surviving, but sometimes she wished desperately that rather than having made it through, she hadn’t had to make it at all. Being with Hunter made her feel like a woman, not just someone who got away from a horrible situation.
She was free, and for the first time in so many years she’d lost track, she felt safe. It was a strange feeling. It almost made her wary of it. Too much security could make a person get lazy. She couldn’t afford that. Not when strange vans showed up. But for right now, for this little sliver of time, she could allow herself to just exist in the space of Hunter’s arms, and to be taken care of.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered in her ear.
She wiped a stray tear and smiled. “Absolutely nothing. I was thinking how I couldn’t remember the last time I felt safe.”
“I’m glad. I want to protect you both.”
She held his gaze and couldn’t get over the look of desire in his eyes. Her own expression must mirror his, because she was warm with wanting him.
He leaned closer to her, slowly. Her heart raced. He was going to kiss her. It was really going to happen. She closed her eyes and waited. His lips, warm and smooth, pressed against hers. He slipped his mouth over hers, his tongue gently playing at the edge of her lips.
It felt amazing kissing him. She hadn’t been really kissed in so long. Kissing Jeremy had been a chore, and never pleasurable. He used it as a tool of force, like everything else in their lives. But kissing Hunter was how kisses were meant to be. Soft and pleasant, building the desire in her with every pass of their tongues.
She opened her eyes to look into his when he finally pulled back from her. Behind him, she caught sight of the clock.
Vanessa gasped. “Oh no. I have to go.”
“What? Why?”
“I had no idea it was so late. I was supposed to pick Opal up an hour ago.” She scrambled to find her purse and her keys.
Hunter stood where they had been embracing just a moment ago, watching her.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have been watching more carefully. I don’t mean to just kiss you and run out, I—”
“Vanessa.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her close, pressing his lips to hers again. “It’s okay. I understand. You haven’t scared me off. It would take a lot more than that to keep from coming back.”
“Thank you. And thank you for a lovely night.”
“We will do it again sometime.” It wasn’t a question. He wasn’t taking the chance that she might say no.
“Soon,” she said.
He followed her out of the apartment and walked her to her car. When she got in, he gave her another brief kiss before closing her car door. She gave him one final smile before pulling away.
In her rearview mirror, she glanced back as often as she could before she turned and he was out of sight. He had his eyes on her the whole time. Knowing he was looking out for them, especially now that he knew the truth, and knowing he would come back, all made her feel even more safe. If Hunter were around, Jeremy couldn’t harm her, couldn’t take Opal. So maybe she’d just have to make sure Hunter was around an awful lot.