An hour passed, maybe two. I kept drifting in and out of sleep for a while until the nurses came in to check on me, as did the doc. Checks were done to see if I had sensation in my legs, which I did, once the meds had worn off. I’ll let you in on a little secret: When a man finds out that everything south of his navel is working, he cries, and that’s okay. It felt good to release some of that emotion. It felt really fucking good to feel the painful movement of my toes.

I got a rundown of everything that had happened, half of which I didn’t understand. I got offered physical and mental therapy, the mental one being optional if I felt I needed it after the trauma of the crash. The woman who hit me on the second impact survived with barely a scratch on her, just a severe case of whiplash and the loss of an expensive car. I was told I was lucky that she had swerved at the last minute, only crushing the front end of my car, because otherwise I would have been checking out of life approximately fifty years too soon. They showed me the casts on my legs, as well as the x-rays and scans that had been taken while I was out of it. One leg was worse than the other, but both would heal in time.

I listened to everything they said. I just didn’t hear it all.

My mind was too busy on other things. It was the one thing that refused to be tired. It was awake, reminiscing, throwing images, sounds, and nightmares my way. The only thing that silenced it for just a second was when I closed my eyes and sought the outline of those blessed wings again. They’d gotten me through the time in the dark. Even though light and life surrounded me now, I still needed them for guidance.

More time passed. I lost track. The exhaustion took over.

I was drifting back to sleep later that night when Sammy whispered in my ear and brought me back to life.

“Marcus, do you have five minutes before you go back to sleep?”

I moaned, opening my eyes and taking her in. “Sure,” I whispered.

“There’s someone else who has been here the last couple of days. She wants to see you.”

“Who?” I asked, suddenly hoping to see Danni.

Sammy glanced behind her, giving a nod to someone, and I followed her stare until I saw the body of a timid Alice pushing through the door.

“What is she doing here?”

“I’ll let her explain.” Sammy kissed me on the forehead before she turned to leave. I didn’t miss the not so subtle glare of warning she gave to Alice.

I watched my sister leave, and my ex take her place on the plastic chair beside my bed. She, too, looked pale like the rest of them. Her uncertainty oozed out of her as she pushed her hair behind her ear and swallowed.

“I’m so glad you’re awake,” she began, nerves making her voice quake.

“Me, too. Not being dead is a good thing.”

“I’ve been so worried.”

“How did you know I was here?”

Her hands fell into her lap as she pressed her thighs together and hunched her shoulders forward. “It was all over the local news. The accident shut down several roads. Then reports started to filter in about someone being dead and two being critical. That’s when I started paying attention to the television.”

“I was on TV?”

She gave me a weak, apologetic smile. “Nicholas Law’s face was everywhere. I didn’t think anything of it until I saw a picture of his son, Alex, beside him. I recognised him from that night…” She stumbled. “At your flat.”

“My birthday. Don’t be embarrassed about saying it. It happened.”

“Right,” she said before she swallowed again. “As soon as I saw Alex’s face, I tracked your sister down on Facebook and asked her if you were safe. The news report mentioned another male victim. Call it gut instinct or some weird cosmic power, but as soon as I heard that, I knew it was you.”

“You spoke to Sammy?”

“We’ve talked a lot these last few days.”

“You’ve told her about us, haven’t you?”

Her sad stare held mine. “I had to, Marcus. She had to know what you meant to me.”

I closed my eyes, took a breath and exhaled. When I looked back at her, I saw her worries written across her face.

“I’m sorry,” she offered.

“Don’t be. Sammy deserved to know.”

“If it helps, she didn’t seem too angry.”

“Can’t get mad at a guy who is knocked out cold, unable to defend himself. I should actually thank you. The timing was perfect. Any other time and Sammy would have ripped me a new arsehole for keeping an engagement secret from her.”

“She definitely loves you.” Alice smiled.

“She’s the best sister a guy could ever wish for.”

“You have a lot of love around you. Your friends, your ex-girlfriend, your family—you’re one of the lucky ones.”

“I am,” I agreed. I was. I could have lost them with my stubborn behaviour just a few months ago, but they’d had faith in me and stuck around. I owed them my life. Literally.

Alice shuffled in her seat again, gearing up to say something I didn’t want to hear.

“Marcus,” she started, twisting her hands again.

“Don’t do it, Alice.”

Her head shot up, her beautiful, delicate eyes landing on my battered, bloodshot ones.

“I have to say it,” she whispered.

“No, you don’t. It’s already been said. We’ve already discussed it. Nothing has changed just because I’ve got two broken legs and a new scar on my back.”

“Things are different now. When I heard you’d been hurt… when I thought I was going to lose you.”

“You already lost me. All those years ago. And as much as I fucking worshipped the ground you walked upon back then, and as much as I still care for you and, actually, yeah, still love you, it’s not the same. It’ll never be the same. I can’t go back. We can’t.”

“Why can’t we try?”

“Because you’re different to me now. The love I have for you is tainted.”

“Tainted,” she whispered.

“Back then I couldn’t find any faults with you. Now, whether I like admitting it or not, faults are all I see. You’ll always be the girl who broke my heart. If we ever got back together, I’d be waiting for you to do it again. I’d never feel peace.”

“I would never hurt you again.”

“Yeah, you would.” I smiled sadly. “You have no control over it. This wanderlust you have—this need to be free and see everything while proving shit to your mother—it’ll always turn your head and make you want to try something new. It’s who you are. There’s nothing wrong with that. I would never ask you to compromise yourself, so please, don’t ask me to do it, either. I want someone who wants me for who I am—flaws, shit jokes, bad timing, crushed legs and all. I want someone who’ll never make me doubt that they’ll always be with me.”

Alice looked down into her lap again. There wasn’t anything else to say. I was tired. Fucking exhausted. But my heart was clear and knew that the days of Marcus and Alice were over. I’d always care for her. I’d just never be in love with her again.

“Whoever that is, I hope she never makes the mistakes I did. I hope she never lets you down.”

“She won’t,” I answered confidently. “She never lets anyone down.”

Alice’s eyes opened in surprise. “I… I didn’t know there was already someone in your life.”

“There isn’t yet. But if she ever wanted me the way I want her, I’m here, I’m breathing, and I’m willing to wait.”

“I thought you weren’t waiting for anyone anymore?”

“I guess I found someone who made it seem like a privilege rather than a sentence.”

“Ouch,” Alice mouthed silently.

“I hope one day you figure out who you want to be and where.”

She bowed her head again before she pulled her coat tighter over her chest and pushed her bag higher onto her shoulder. “I should go.”

“I’ll always be here for you if you need me,” I offered, watching her as she began to stand and walk to the end of my bed. “Even if I end up on wheels. I do love you, Alice. It’s just a different love now.”

“I love you, too.”

“Go be happy.”

“Goodbye, Marcus.”

With a gentle nod, she turned and left, leaving me to rest my head on the pillow and drift off into a semi-peaceful sleep as one old wound healed up nicely, forever sewn together, leaving nothing but a scar. One that would always be a major part of the story I had to tell. I just wasn’t willing to let it hurt me anymore.

I woke the next morning to find my room was empty. Thank the Lord. It seemed Sammy and my parents had gone home to shower and, hopefully, sleep for the first time since the accident.

“How are you feeling this morning, Mr. Anderson,” a different nurse asked when she walked in. Her hair was a mass of curly white fluff, and a CV of wisdom was written in the wrinkles of her eyes.

“Sore. Broken. Hungry,” I strained out as I tried to shuffle myself upright. Rolling her eyes playfully, she came over to my bedside and took charge, carefully lifting me where she felt it was safe, and fluffing my pillows behind my back.

“There you go,” she sighed before she pulled the monitor next to me in front of her.

She went about her morning checks, pulling wires here, there, and everywhere, ticking things off the charts at the end of my bed, asking me what I wanted to eat that day. Not only did she look like a fairy godmother from one of those Disney films, all dressed in blue with a knowing twinkle in her eye, but she acted like one, too. It was amazing what a soft, reassuring smile could do to put a wounded man at ease.

“Anything else before I leave?” she asked me.

I reached up to scratch my eyebrow where a couple of stitches had been put in. “Can I ask about my friend?”

“Friend?”

“Alexander Law. The one who was in the accident with me. He’s in a coma.”

Her face fell slightly, but only for a fraction of a second before she corrected herself, came to my bedside and pulled my hand away from my stitches.

“Do you believe in blessings in disguise, Marcus?”

“Sometimes.”

“Well, I believe that sometimes people need to shut their eyes and sleep when real life’s nightmares become too much for them to handle.” The nurse pulled my bedding up my stomach, tucking it into place as she continued to speak. “The boy has just lost his father. It’s not my place to comment on that or what kind of man that father may have been. But from an old lady’s point of view, let’s just imagine that your friend Alex is choosing to sleep through his grief so that when he eventually wakes, he’ll be able to live a guilt-free life with no confusion over his emotions whatsoever. He’ll have grieved for the man he loved away from the rest of the world. When he opens his eyes, he can live for the woman who sleeps constantly by his side.”

“But he will? He will open his eyes eventually?” I asked.

“He sounds like one hell of a fighter to me. Those are the ones who always wake up in the end. They just need a rest in between rounds.” Then she gave me the warmest smile I’d ever received before she turned and walked out of my room, just as Sammy was walking back into it.

“Hey, slugger,” she chirped, much brighter and fresher than yesterday.

“Hey, baby sis.”

“How’s it hanging?”

“Little to the left.” I cringed.

“Eww. Gross.” She laughed as she walked up to me and placed a gentle kiss on the unwounded part of my forehead.

“You seem brighter today.”

She blew out a long breath, her smile never fading as she sat down in the seat next to me and dropped her bag to the floor. “I slept last night. Not peacefully. You know, Alex is still on my mind, but I slept. I showered. I…”

“Got laid?” I interrupted, raising both brows.

“Ha bloody ha.” She rolled her eyes and leaned forward, resting her arms on the bed and her chin on her hands. “No sex. But I do have something to tell you.”

“Is this about you and Cameron?”

Her eyes widened in shock, her blink heavy as she stared at me and the humour dripped away from her. “What about Cameron and me?”

“Oh, come on, Sammy.” I chuckled. “You’re hot for him, and he’s not pushing you away. I get it.”

“I cannot handle this conversation right now,” she mumbled, her lips barely moving.

I rolled my eyes and huffed out another laugh. “Whatever. When you do decide to talk to me about him, though, I’m not going to give a shit. Just a little FYI to you: He’s a good guy. You’re the best girl. Put that magic together and it works. Plus…” I tried to lean a little closer. “It’s nothing to do with me.” I winked.

“I’m dying of shame. This is how I’m going to leave the world.”

“Okay, stop.” I laughed harder, even though it tore through my chest like a knife. “We won’t talk about that until you’re ready. What else do you have to tell me?”

“It’s Danni.”

Just hearing her name made my heart work faster than it had done all the time I was asleep. “What about her?”

“Marcus, she’s been a mess since she found out about the accident.”

“What? Why did you tell her?” I couldn’t help frowning, I just couldn’t understand why they’d made her suffer when there hadn’t been a need for her to know or worry.

“Because she had a right to know. Not everyone likes to keep important news a secret.” She arched a brow, clearly letting me know what she thought of the engagement I’d kept schtum about. “And there was a point where we didn’t know if you’d both make it. They were saying you could have been paralysed, dude. Alex still might not wake up.”

I closed my eyes to try to push some of the pain away. “You’re right,” I eventually whispered.

“She, as you can imagine, is going out of her mind over there. I’m talking crazy. What’s going on with you two?”

I chose to ignore that question, not knowing how to answer. “Did you tell her I’d woken up?” I asked as I opened my eyes again. “Did you tell her I was okay?”

“Yeah, but she wants to see for herself. Otherwise, she’s talking about ditching the modelling gigs and coming home to see you.”

“Like hell she is,” I barked.

Reaching down into her bag, Sammy pulled out her phone and wiggled it in front of me. “That’s exactly what we need you to tell her. She’s not listening to Paul, Suzie, or me. You have to be the one to tell her. You feeling up for some FaceTime to let her know you’re still the sarcastic little arsehole who left her high and dry in Greece?”

“High and dry?” It was my turn to raise my brows.

“Ha! If you thought for one minute that the rest of us didn’t see just how into each other you and Danni were out there, you are dumber than I thought.” She grinned, her shoulders slumping forward as she shook her head.

“You all knew?”

“It was hard to miss those stars in your eyes.”

“And you don’t mind?”

“No.” She sighed in contentment, tilting her head to one side. “Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, too. It’s not my place to mind. It’s not my business. The only thing I can worry about is being a better little sister to you. I’ll take care of that. The rest can take care of themselves.”

“Sammy, you’re as good as it gets. I truly couldn’t ask for anyone better than you.”

“Good to know. Now make the call. She needs you.”

Huge, beastly butterflies erupted in my stomach when the phone rang. I held it up and waited for her face to appear. Sammy smoothed my hair down as much as she could, vowing to cut off some of my curls while I was in the hospital. She’d made me look as presentable as I was going to look, given the stitches above my brow, the two black eyes, the busted lip and the weird glass cuts across my cheeks.

I tried to smile as I waited for Danni to answer, even if it did make me look like a punch-drunk, skinnier version of Rocky Balboa. It took a few seconds for her to come into focus, but, oh, when she did, it was like watching the sun rise in front of me again. A warmth spread over my skin, my eyes falling to her lips where, just a few days before, I’d lost myself.

I don’t think I was meant to hear her sudden gasp when she saw me. I chose to ignore it, not wanting to look anything other than happy to see her, which I was. Even if I was convinced that my bruised, swollen lip was making me look like I was trying to break wind rather than smile.

“Hey, you,” she said quietly, her mouth strained and her eyes red, puffy, and sore. Her hair was scraped back into one of those bun things on her head, and her clothes were baggy and old. She’d pulled her grey hoodie sleeves over her knuckles and was currently resting her chin on her fist as she stared into the phone.

“Beautiful,” I tried to sing because she’d never looked more perfect to me, but the word came out as a strangled groan. “You miss me?”

“So much,” she pushed out weakly.

“How much?”

“Too much for it to feel right being away from you.”

“God, it’s so good to hear your voice,” I breathed out.

Danni’s eyes turned down even more, making her look like she was about to start crying as she pressed her balled up fist against her mouth and closed her eyes.

“I know I look bad, but geez, you could at least try to pretend my face isn’t scaring you.”

She laughed a weak-arsed laugh before she opened her eyes to look at me again, speaking from behind her hand. “You’ve been scaring me for days. That was happening way before I saw the state of your face.”

“I’ve looked better, I’ll admit.”

“Why the hell did you get in that car, Marcus?” she whispered, turning serious. “Why did you put yourself in so much danger?”

“Because it was the right thing to do.”

“And look what happened.”

“I survived,” I said as joyfully as I could manage. “I’d do it again if I had to.”

“That’s what scares me the most.”

“What’s right isn’t always easy, Danni.”

“I know that,” she conceded. “But I can’t get over the fact that I’m seeing you like this when just a few days ago you were here with me.”

“Giving you the best night of your life.”

Once again, I was aiming for humour, but it had the opposite effect. Danni closed her eyes to compose herself before she unleashed her baby blues on me and nodded her head, forcing a traitorous tear to fall down her cheek.

“Hey,” I whispered, frowning. “No tears, Miss Pretty. What happened to you being the ray of sunshine in my life? The girl who could make the darkness disappear?”

“I almost lost you. That’s what happened.”

“Almost,” I reminded her. “I’m still here.”

“And I’m not with you. I should be with you. I want to be there.”

“No,” I told her flatly, groaning as I shook my head way too quickly. “Not a chance in Hell are you coming here to see me like this.”

“Marcus…”

“Danni, I said no.”

“I don’t care about the modelling crap. Not when I see you a world away from me looking like that.”

“Well, you goddamn should care.”

“Don’t you want me there?”

“You know I do,” I pushed out through a sigh, trying not to melt under her puppy dog gaze. “I want that more than anything.”

“Then let me—”

“No, you listen,” I said firmly, cutting her off again. “I’m not even having this conversation, so get that into your head before you try to push me on this. I’m not dragging you back here. I could. I want to. But apparently I’m just not that selfish when it comes to you. I am alive. A little sore, beat up, and tired, yeah, but underneath all the broken bones, bruised skin, and wounded ego, there’s a guy in there who cares too much about you to see you walk away from the dream that is within touching distance. It’s waiting for you, Dan. It’s days away. Fucking days! I’m not going to be the guy who drags you away from that just so you can sit by my bedside and watch me learn how to walk again. Not a chance. You want to help me? Then do your thing. Be a success. Go out there and kill it. Win at life. That’s the only thing I need from you, baby. The only thing. That’ll be the best medicine you can give me.”

She remained still, staring me down for far too long before a slow smile started to emerge from behind her fist.

“You’re bossy when you’re broken.”

“Does it turn you on?”

“That, and the fat lip.”

“I can be a real arsehole if you want me to be. Really make those legs of yours tremble. Maybe show you the bruises on my legs, too.”

Her smile grew. “Or you could just call me baby again.”

“Baby?” I asked, my brows rising high in surprise. “You like that?”

“I never did until it was you calling me it.”

It hurt to grin properly, but I couldn’t help the gigantic beam of satisfaction that broke free on my face and made my head spin, right before the cut on my lip tore wide open causing me to hiss out in surprise.

“Shit. Sorry.” She clamped her hand over her mouth.

I reached up to touch the fresh wound as carefully as I could, groaning when a streak of blood transferred onto my finger.

“Looks like I’m going to have to remain grumpy for a while if this is what happens when I smile.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard for you to do.” She tilted her head to one side and dropped her hand into her lap.

“Not while you’re away.”

“How long do you think your recovery will take?”

“They can’t give me a definite answer. There’re a lot of small fractures coming together to make one big giant ache, and by the time they heal, my muscles will be weak. I’ll need to do some physical therapy, etc., but they’re saying I’ll make a full recovery if I take it slow and listen to their advice.”

“And Alex?”

“He still sleeps.”

Danni released a long exhale, her shoulders falling forward. “I wish you’d let me come home.”

“You can… once you’ve conquered the world. Too much shit has happened over the last few years. We all need you to go out and be the good news. Make us proud.”

“No pressure.”

“Only a little.” I winked. Even that hurt.

“And who will look after you while I’m away? Who will squeeze your broken pieces back together?”

“I could get a dog,” I offered, raising both brows.

“You don’t want a dog.” She smiled softly.

“Or a cat,” I went on, pretending to ignore her. “Or those goldfish that just swim around all day listening to their owners moan, demanding nothing while doing this.” I started popping my sore lips together like a fish does, aware that I looked fucking deranged to her.

She stared at me for the longest time, trying and failing to hide the sadness she felt deep inside.

“You could get a gerbil,” she eventually suggested.

“Don’t they smell? Their arses release gas that could put me back in the hospital, right?”

“That’s a skunk. You can’t keep a skunk.”

“Says who?”

“I don’t know… Walt Disney? Haven’t you seen Bambi? They should be free to stink out nature, not your apartment.”

“You’re just skunkist.” I smirked.

“And you’re insane.”

“Talking to you makes me feel high.”

“Imagine how I’d make you feel if I was there to hold your hand and sooth your sores.”

My face fell flat instantly. I wanted nothing more than to see her in the flesh, hold her hand and kiss her lips, but I couldn’t allow it. “No, Danni. Not yet.”

“Fine,” she said, sighing and leaning forward. “But I’m making you a deal. I’ll stay here and go through these next few weeks, doing things I need to do for Roberta, the designers, the photographers, etc. I’ll go to Rome. I’ll listen to my agent schmooze. I’ll try to be the dream girl you and everyone else think I can be.

“Know you can be,” I corrected her. “Know.”

“Whatever.” She grinned. “And I’ll think of you the whole time I’m doing it.”

“That, I can handle.”

“But that means…”

“Uh oh.”

“We have to FaceTime every single day, no excuses or misses.”

“Every day?”

“Every day. Sometimes maybe even twice a day.”

“I don’t know, Danni. That’s a lot to ask. You’re not exactly easy on the eyes. Aren’t mine suffering enough already?” I pointed to the black circles there while she just rolled her eyes at me.

“Secondly,” she began. “You have to do exactly what the doctors and nurses tell you to do and get those legs, and, well, basically everything back to full fitness again.”

“Roger that.” I nodded. That one was easy. I planned on doing all I was told and more.

“Thirdly, when I arrive back on English soil, you have to attend a fancy social event with me.”

“What kind of social event?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.

“That’s a secret.” That mischievous flare of hers shone brightly for the first time since she’d answered the call from me. “Do you trust me?”

“Implicitly.”

She bit down on her lip for a second. “And for my final request, your biggest test yet…”

“Hit me.” I smirked.

“You have to figure out what your dream is.”

“I don’t have a dream,” I answered.

“Everybody has a dream, Marcus. You just haven’t figured out what it is yet. But we both know you’re worth more than sitting in that office being an I.T. geek your whole life. Realise what your dream is by the time I get home because once I’m back, we’re chasing it together.”

“Together.” I grinned, liking the way that sounded. “How long have I got?”

“Eight weeks.”

“Wow. Eight weeks of missing you. Eight weeks to figure out my future, get back to full fitness, buy something smart for a fancy function, and do as I’m told.” I hissed through my teeth.

“And eight weeks of talking to me, morning, noon, and night.” Danni sounded happy for the first time in our conversation.

“Morning, noon, and night?”

“Take it or leave it, Del Boy,” she challenged.

“Damn straight I’m taking it.”

“You think you can handle me?”

“I know I can.” I grinned. “You think you can cope with a half-broken man?”

“I know I can.”

Daniella Marston was one woman—just one woman on a planet filled with seven billion people—yet as I watched her come to life in front of me as our conversation carried on, and on, and on, I tried to imagine what life must be like for all the other people of the world who didn’t have her in it.

Miserable, I thought. They must be miserable. And there I was, relatively happy. Even with a body full of broken bones and stitches, I was happy because of her. She held that power in her hands, and I was the lucky bastard she was gripping on to.

I only hoped that one day she decided to hold on tighter.