The sleep I had that night was blissful. Danni fell asleep in my arms, her cheek pressed against my chest, and her lingering smile like a tattoo over my heart. I couldn’t be sure that I’d ever feel enough for her, but maybe that was how it was supposed to be. Maybe loving someone meant always trying to be more for them, better for them, worthy of their time and affection. One thing I was sure of, though, was that she loved me. I’d lost so much in my life, but I’d been one hell of a lucky fucker, too. I’d dodged death. I had the world at my feet. I had the girl of my dreams. I had the opportunity to start over.

That included all walks of life.

The sun had barely risen when I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, just listening to Danni’s peaceful breaths while I contemplated life. She’d once asked me to figure out what my dream was, and I still hadn’t come up with any answers. It was like talking to that careers advisor all over again. The easy things to say would have been pilot, fire fighter, millionaire inventor of some household item that everyone would need. I could lie and tell Danni I wanted to retrain as a chef, a teacher, or maybe write a book someday.

None of those answers would be the truth.

As I stared at the ceiling, enjoying the reflections of the early morning sun as they cast shadows and shapes across the white paint, I realised there was only one dream I had. One solid dream that I could work on and that would mean something… and it was cheesy as hell.

Because all I wanted to be was happy.

I didn’t care about money, cars, or having any bragging rights.

I wanted to follow the girl in my arms around the world and never leave her side. I wanted to be the man standing next to her when the next Johnny Miller tried to use her as an ornament instead of treasuring the jewel that was Danni. I wanted to sell up my flat, not think about the investment, and use the money I’d made on it to live a little. I wanted to quit work, never having to stare at a computer screen again so long as I existed. I wanted to remove all social media and leave everyone from my past where they belonged. I wanted to live off the grid of expectation and bathe in the beautiful reality that took place when we all looked up, saw the world, and breathed.

I’d almost died at the age of twenty-six.

My dream was to make the most of life while I still had the chance.

The realisation hit me like a truck, and it was like a weight had been lifted as soon as the decision had been made. Sure, people would tell me I was fucking crazy. My parents would worry. My sister would accuse me of going too fast, too soon again. There’d be doubters, haters, and dream-crushers along the way, but it was up to me to ignore all that.

It was up to me to live my life the way I wanted to.

Now all I had to do was convince Danni that I could make a good travel buddy.

I blew out a heavy breath, and she stirred in my grip. I was about to experience my favourite moment of any day—the very second Danni’s eyes fluttered open, she furrowed her brow in confusion, looked up and saw me there with her. The gentle, yet oh so fucking gorgeous, sleepy smile would break free on her face, and we’d simply stare at each other for a while. Two people who found each other despite the obstacles of life. Two pairs of eyes that connected, and two bodies that fit together like they’d been made in the same factory of human life.

“Hey.” I pushed her hair back from her face and held her gaze. “You slept peacefully last night.”

“Always do when I’m with you,” she said almost silently.

I grinned. “I keep the bogeyman away.”

Her hand glided over my chest, and Danni pushed herself up, resting her arms there as she gazed up at me adoringly. “Last night, you were the monster. You were brutal.”

“Did I hurt you?”

“Sometimes.” She shrugged.

“Did you like it?”

“Every time.” Her eyes widened, as did her grin.

“No apologies, then.”

“Don’t. But you can offer up seconds before you leave me again.”

Leave her.

That’s right. I was due to go home the next day. We only had twenty-four hours together, and who knew what those hours held. We had a proposal to play a part in. We had a scandal or two to avoid and hope against all hope that Danni’s name hadn’t been dragged through the mud because of me. I also had something else I wanted to talk to her about.

“What if that didn’t happen this time?”

She scowled ever so slightly, her lips pushing out as she buried her chin even farther into her hands that rested against my chest. “What if what didn’t happen?”

“Me… leaving.”

Danni froze, hope betraying her by lighting up her eyes.

“Or is that too scary for you?” I asked her softly.

“I…”

“Because I’m willing to stick around a bit longer, but not if that’s moving too fast for you.”

She sucked in a big breath, tilting her head to one side as her eyes searched mine wildly. “You want to stay with me?”

“More than anything in the world.”

“But… but… you have work. A life. An apartment.”

“All which I hate without you there with me.” I wasn’t explaining myself very well, and I knew it. Turning over, I manouvered us both until we were lying on our sides, facing each other. I had to be on her level. I had to show her I meant every word I was about to say.

“When I was in hospital, you asked me to figure out what my dream was. You asked me to tell you what I wanted from life and that we’d figure out a way to make it happen together. Well, guess what? I want you. I want all of you. People might say we’re crazy. I’m stupid. You’re tying yourself to someone when you should be free, soaring high like a rocket. But do we care about those people, Danni? I know I don’t anymore.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I want to quit my job, sell the apartment, and live. I want to live. I don’t want to waste days back home pining for you when I could be with you. I want to quit worrying about what the world expects of me and worry about waking up with a smile on my face every goddamn day, no matter how insecure my future is. I want to be with you, standing next to you when you feel tired, worn out, and too weak to smile that day. I want to pick up my pencil and paper again, draw all the things I see, including you. I don’t care about being rich or successful, Danni. All I want is to lead a legendary fucking life, and I know I won’t get that away from you.”

Her breathing became erratic, her chest bouncing up and down and her nostrils flaring as she tried to stay in control. The silence lingered for a moment too long—a moment that made me stiffen and wonder if I’d made a mistake by being so open and honest with her. But then her smile exploded, her cheekbones rising high until the lines around her eyes couldn’t cope with the excitement. Her face scrunched tight and unshed tears appeared as she stared at me.

“Please tell me those are happy tears,” I breathed out in a rush, my hand finding her hip and clinging on tight. “Please tell me this is a dream you can get on board with.”

“This is the dream I’ve been wishing you’d wish for.”

“It is?” I smirked, a firework of happiness being lit in my chest.

“It’s scary, it’s intense, and it’s new, but all I want is you. No matter where I am in the world or what I’m doing, when you’re not with me, I’m miserable.”

“Fuck, baby, so am I. You have no idea.” I pulled her closer, our bodies leaving no room for air to pass between us. “I’ll sell the apartment or rent it out. I’ll quit my job. I’ll figure out a way to make some money on the road or something. I won’t care about anything but the present day I’m living in.”

“You could do some consultancy work or something? Offer advice online? Or… or… maybe you could sell your drawings. You could practice and practice and build up a portfolio…” Her words were filled with excitement as her imagination took over.

“We’ll figure it out.” I grinned, staring into her ocean blue eyes.

“Let’s do it.”

“No matter what anyone says?”

“I’ve never cared what people think of me.”

“No matter how hard it gets when we’re both frustrated and under each other’s feet.”

“I love you being under me,” she said through a small laugh.

I sat the two of us up, pulling her into my lap until she was straddling me, her bare legs around my hips and her naked arse in my hands. “Like this?” I asked, looking up at her.

“Just. Like. This,” she whispered, dropping her forehead to mine.

“Let’s live for today.”

“Today,” she repeated with a smile.

“I guess now we’ll never forget each other.”

“Seriously, Natalie,” Danni sighed down the phone. “We’re great. No. No. I know. Yes, I’ve seen the Internet reports. Yes, I’ve seen what Miller has said about me. No.” She laughed as she walked in front of me carrying a bag full of goodies like she didn’t have a single care in the world. “I don’t care, and I’m in the best mood I think I’ve ever been in.”

Danni spun around on the pathway of Clapham Common, her beautiful, blush-coloured knee-length skirt fanning out as she rolled her eyes and grinned at me.

Once we’d made it out of bed and gotten over our excitement at the next phase of our adventure together, the phone had started ringing like crazy. Roberta had been exasperated, as usual, panicking over the reports that were claiming Danni was a part-time hooker who Johnny had paid for sex after The Howlers premiere. It was hard for me to take those kind of rumours on the chin, but like Danni had said to me, a rumour, like fire, only stayed alive if you continued to fuel it. It was her job—and mine now—to assure the rest of the world that Miller was a liar, and I was the only man she’d slept with recently.

I’d nodded in all the right places and tried to smile as carefree as I could, but she didn’t need to know that the next time I saw that bastard I was going to shove his balls back up his anus and then break a few toes.

No need to make the girl panic.

Plus, there was something extremely sexy and reassuring about the way she just… brushed it off. Like it was a piece of lint on her jeans, Danni simply picked it up with disinterested fingers, tossed it aside and got on with her day.

She was indestructible.

I wanted to be just like her when I grew up.

“Natalie, Jesus!” She laughed louder this time, throwing her head back before she turned around and walked towards the bandstand where Alex had told us to set up for him. “You can’t save the world. No wonder you and Marcus hooked up. You’re both wannabe superheroes, aren’t you? I’m fine. End of discussion. I love you. Go take your frustrations at Miller out on Alex and ride him like he’s Sea Biscuit for an hour.”

That forced a laugh out of me. Natalie, too, apparently.

When Danni ended the call, she came to a stop at the bottom of the bandstand steps and looked into it. I came up behind her, resting my chin on her bare, golden brown shoulder.

“Can you believe he’s about to propose to her?”

That one bandstand held a lot of promise. Our friends’ future was in there. Our friends’ happiness. To everyone else, it was just a bandstand. To us, it was the start of an epic adventure.

“I have goosebumps.” She sighed dreamily.

I dropped the two bags I had in my hands and ran my palms over her bare arms. I couldn’t help but tease her more as I dropped my lips into that delicious curve in her neck and kissed her.

“Now your goosebumps have goosebumps.”

She shivered in my grip, falling back against me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her there for just a moment.

“I love you,” she said out of nowhere, staring straight ahead into the bandstand.

“Yeah,” I whispered. “I know.” I grinned.

We got to work then, making our way inside to begin setting up the place. People tried to come inside as we decorated it, but Danni always worked her charms on those people, telling them what was about to happen and asking if they didn’t mind waiting a while. She had the entire human race in the palms of her hands, and she didn’t even know it. Old couples sighed with contentment, taking their seats on the benches that surrounded the stand. Some younger kids recognised Danni from the society pages online and did exactly as she asked them to, forming a circle around the place so that everyone could cheer loudly when our friends became engaged.

She was a magician.

I was her puppet.

Everyone was.

I began to pick out the black and white photographs Alex had printed off, making a garland out of them as carefully as I could. With Danni’s help, we pinned them up with absolute precision and perfection, until all around us were photographs of Natalie and Alex’s time together—both pre-me and post-me. Snapshots of Natalie making daisy chains, pictures of her on the bus through all the seasons, plus photographs of them together on their travels in London, Greece, and every other place they’d been.

We were staring at a love story we’d always assumed we’d read thoroughly, only the pictures showed us just how much we’d missed. We hadn’t even scratched the surface of understanding the love Natalie and Alex had for each other. Maybe we never would.

I stood back, placed my hands on my hips and grinned.

In the corner, we’d set up a small fold up table. On the top was a gingham blanket that held a single rose in a vase and some tacky London figurines—ornaments that neither Danni nor I understood, but clearly meant something to Alex and Natalie.

“You got the song ready?” Danni asked me as she came to stand beside me, all proud and excited.

“It’s on repeat over there, just waiting for one of us to press play.”

“He picked a beautiful song.”

I turned to look at her, unable to stop my smile from breaking free. “I’m nervous for him.”

“Me, too,” she admitted as she looked at me.

Her hand found mine and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “You think she’ll say yes?”

“When a man makes you happy, you say yes,” she breathed out, her smile matching mine.

“I better keep you happy then.”

“You sure had.”

I leaned in to give her a gentle kiss.

My phone buzzed a few seconds later.

I smiled at my phone, gave Danni the nod to press play on the song, and then I grabbed her hand and guided her to the nearest tree for us to hide behind. She took off her shoes, curling her bare toes into the warm grass as she fell into place, her back resting against my chest and my arms around her waist. I was a boiling pot of nerves and excitement. If someone had told me last year that I would be here doing this, I’d have told them they were off the charts crazy.

Funny how life and emotions could change in the blink of an eye.

Funny how things shifted and tilted until you couldn’t imagine them ever having been any other way than they are right now.

“They’re here,” Danni squealed in a whisper. She had a white-knuckle grip on my hand, and I found myself clinging on to her with everything I had.

We watched as Alex and Natalie approached. He was dressed in a white shirt and dark blue jeans, while she wore a pale blue summer dress that swished around her knees when she walked. Natalie’s hair was half up, half down, and as Alex held her hand and guided her up the steps of the bandstand, everyone around them stopped, looked on, and waited for their love story to go to another level.

We could just about make out what they were saying from where we were hidden, and it didn’t take long for Danni to turn in my grip, her hand landing on my chest before she rested her head on my shoulder and began to cry.

I had to admit a lump had formed in my throat, too, as I watched Natalie stand in the middle of the decked out circle, clamp her hand to her mouth and take in the pictures we’d pinned up there.

I clung to Danni, pulling her impossibly closer as we both held our breath and waited.

Natalie spun and spun in circles, looking at every corner, at every image, her tears falling freely as Alex followed her around without saying a word. She always had her back to him. Always. Natalie was too lost in the memories as they assaulted her, drowning her in pure elation.

Time seemed to stand still. The crowd around them were motionless, the only noise filling the air being the gentle melodies of Leon Bridges singing his River song, and the few happy birds that soared above us, joining in

Then we saw Alex go down on bended knee and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Until Natalie finally turned around to face him, her hand still over her mouth as her eyes fell down to the floor where Alex kneeled before her, holding a small box with a ring in it that caused her to cry out uncontrollably.

Danni sobbed beside me.

The whole crowd gasped and waited.

Nobody moved or did anything as Natalie stared at the ring in Alex’s hands.

Then he spoke, his voice dropping for all to hear.

“I know I told you I’d wait a while longer, but I lied. I’ve waited my whole life for you, and I’ve almost lost you twice. Not even a coma could keep you from my thoughts. I can’t imagine spending a single day without you ever again, and I don’t want to. I don’t want anything to keep us apart. I will wait my whole life for you if you ask me to because you’re the only one for me. It’s always been you. But what I want more than anything is to be your husband, to love you forever, and to give you the best version of me I have to offer. I want to build a life, a future, have children, make memories and belong to you. I want to belong to you. I want you to share my name, to be able to call you my wife. I want you in every way I can have you. I guess what I’m trying to say is…” He swallowed, letting his giant grin break free as he looked up at her. “Natalie Vincent, will you marry me?”

Danni clung to me tighter.

Everyone held their breath and waited.

Natalie dropped to her knees in front of Alex, cupping the cheeks of his face as her tears poured free.

“What took you so long?” she eventually said.

“Is that a yes?”

She nodded furiously, her laughter and smile erupting like lava from a volcano. “Yes,” she said gently at first. “Yes, yes, yes!” she cried.

The whole crowd began to cheer and applaud while Alex pulled Natalie to him, stood them both up and spun them around in circles.

Danni’s sobs of pure, undiluted happiness tore free and rained against me, and I dropped my nose to her hair to inhale every ounce of her.

There was an incredible happiness that came from watching people you loved win at life. It made you feel like their success was your own, and as Danni curled herself even tighter in my arms and looked up at me through blurry eyes, all was incredibly fucking right with the world.

“That was so beautiful,” Danni whispered to me. “I’m so happy for them.”

“Me, too.” I brushed the stray strands of hair from her face and smiled down at her.

“Before feeling what I feel for you, I’d have watched that proposal and smiled, but I wouldn’t have felt this ache of understanding in my chest.”

“You okay?”

She nodded once. “It’s overwhelming to watch someone offer up their life to someone else. I’ve been lucky enough to see it twice today. I’ve been lucky enough to be on the receiving end. I know it’s not the same, but…”

I sighed, smirking as I ran my fingers through her hair and scrunched it tight in my fists at the back of her head. “A proposal is a proposal,” I assured her. “Mine may not involve a ring, a marriage… yet.” I grinned. “But I’m giving you my life if you want it.”

“I want it. I want you.”

“Then nothing can stop us. And when the time is right, and if you’re happy and I’m happy, I’ll make you mine forever.”

“You’re never getting away from me, Marcus.”

“Believe me, I’m following you wherever you go.”

“What took you so long to find me?” she whispered.

“Just be glad I finally did.”

We had our own special moment then. Our future held a lot of promise—some big, some small, some uncertain and some absolutely guaranteed.

Every love was different—that much I knew—but what nobody ever tells you growing up is that it isn’t always your first love that changes your life. That’s the one that shows you all the new and exciting things in life and gives you experience. Your second love teaches you lessons and offers you a chance to try again—to correct your mistakes.

But your third love? That’s the love that blindsides you completely. That’s the love that reminds you that while you think you might know everything there is to know about women and heartache, you really don’t know a damn thing.

There’s a happily ever after out there for everyone. You’ve just got to be willing to wait, and willing to change all the rules once they find you.

For her, I was willing to do and lose it all.

She was my sun.

I was her moon.

The light of the world.

The light in the darkness.

One day, I was going to wait until it rained, take her into the ocean, hold her hands and make her mine forever. I’d give her the most powerful moment of her life, making sure she felt everything the world and I had to offer her.

She just didn’t know it yet.