Chapter 39

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Rose

ANOTHER MONTH HAD PASSED, and Alex and I were still going strong. I tried my hardest to take it slow, but it was so difficult when I wanted to be with him more and more. I was spending a lot of nights at his place and pretty much everyone at work knew what was going on. Still, we didn’t flaunt it at the office. Outside of work when we’d get together with coworkers was a different story.

Lucy and Declan were also still hitting it off, and I was pretty certain theirs would be another one of my success stories. I had become Marisa’s pregnancy person. I was so ecstatic when she invited me to her first ultrasound appointment. It was the first time I’d ever witnessed anything like that, and it truly was a miracle. I was even more honored when she asked me to be her Lamaze coach. The thought of it was a little nerve-wracking, but I was taking the job very seriously, reading up on everything I could about pregnancy and attending Lamaze classes with her as the time got closer.

Everything in my life was falling into place. I’d opened up to Alex about my dream of one day owning my own clothing boutique and my quest to become more independent. He aided me with taking my first baby step to reaching that goal by helping me get my first credit card that wasn’t in my father’s name. Little by little, I’d prove to my father I could do this on my own. Funny how this wasn’t my intention when I first came to New York, but thanks to Lucy, Marisa, and most of all, Alex, I was starting to see things so much differently.

As expected, William’s health was deteriorating. It was so sad to watch it happen, but he seemed to be at peace. Audra was a permanent part of his life, spending all her free time up here and allowing him the opportunity to finally meet his grandson. Alex and I continued to help out when she wasn’t around. Sadly, I couldn’t help but wonder how much longer before he would be back in the hospital for good.

Alex and I never talked about the past, and we rarely planned for the future. I kind of liked living in the present and enjoying the here and now, but at the same time, I was hoping he would have opened up a little over some of the things his mother had let slip out to me. But he was like a closed book where that was concerned, and I didn’t want to open any of those pages with my questions and potentially piss him off. The only time he vaguely mentioned it to me was when he told me how he’d gone back to school to obtain his bachelor’s degree after he’d gotten out of the military.

There was no doubt he was a brilliant guy, and part of me was lost in that same wonderment as my dad the night when he questioned him about not following in his father’s footsteps. But after breaking down those initial layers of his personality, I had learned Alex was a very stoic guy, who stood up for what he believed in strongly. So, it didn’t surprise me he’d do something as honorable as forgoing the college life to serve his country. I just wished he felt comfortable enough to share some of his experiences with me. After a little perseverance on my part he was taking his education further by taking some evening and online courses to obtain his master’s degree.

“Did you know right now Marisa’s baby is about six inches long and weighs about four ounces?” I looked at Alex as we sat in bed. Me reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting and him studying for an exam.

“Wow, that’s interesting,” he teased, clearly having no interest in pregnancy talk.

My smile broadened, and I was unable to look away from him. How had we gotten to this place? Just a few months ago, we were at each other’s throats. Now here we were sitting in bed like an old married couple.

“What?” he asked, taking his attention from his reading material as I continued to gaze at him.

“Nothing. You just look really cute when you wear your glasses.”

“Cute or sexy?” He pressed his forehead into mine.

“Hmm…maybe a little of both.”

“Well, I’d rather be just sexy.”

“Guess you’ll just have to work a little harder on that!” I giggled.

He took my book from my hand and threw it on the floor. Grabbing my arms, he hovered over me and pinned my wrists to the mattress. “Am I sexy yet?” he asked, peppering my neck in kisses.

“Still absolutely adorable.” I laughed.

He lifted my top over my head, teasing my breast with his tongue, gazing up at me with a grin when I shook my head. Pulling off my pajama bottoms along with my panties, his lips trailed down my stomach to my inner thigh.

“You’re getting sexier…much sexier.” I let out a pleasurable gasp when his mouth finally reached the spot that was yearning for him so badly. “You’re extremely sexy.” I arched my back, reaching down and running my fingers through his hair as his tongue began to work its magic.

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After waking up late and running around Alex’s apartment like a crazy lady to get ready, we were finally heading into work. “People are gonna talk when they see us coming in together,” I teased as we stepped onto the elevator.

“Let them.” Taking me off guard, he took my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine just as the elevator doors opened to our destination. I pulled away first, trying my hardest to wipe the huge grin from my face as Judy, the receptionist, and some brunette woman whom I’d never seen before stood on the other side of the doors staring at us. The color drained from Alex’s face when he set eyes upon this stranger.

“Hello, Alex.” She raised an eyebrow and flashed him a sarcastic grin, then eyed me up.

Alex was speechless, and for the first time ever, he appeared to be a little nervous. I stood there, waiting for an introduction, but judging by the look of contempt on Alex’s part, I didn’t bet on that happening.

“Since Alex seems to have lost his manners, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Vanessa, Alex’s wife.”

My entire body broke out in a sweat. The room began to spin and a wave of nausea churned inside my stomach. This had to be some sick joke. There was no way he was married.

“Ex-wife.” Alex finally found his voice, trying to soften the blow, but not by much. How could he have kept something like this from me?

She covered her mouth and laughed. “Sorry, it hasn’t been that long, so it’s hard for me to get used to being called the ex.”

“What the hell do you want, Vanessa?” Alex barked.

I pulled in my bottom lip when his remorseful eyes met mine. I wanted to cry. I wanted to punch him for not telling me and, most of all, I wanted to smack the smug smile from her face. But instead of doing any of those things, I stormed into my office, ignoring Lucy’s good morning greeting and slamming the door behind me. Taking a seat behind my desk, I turned on my computer, willing myself not to cry. My mind was going at warp speed as I tried my hardest to turn it off and focus on work instead. I didn’t respond to the knock on the door, knowing exactly who it was, wishing he’d just go away when he took the first step in.

“Rose, let me explain.” He approached me cautiously.

“There’s nothing to explain, Alex. You lied to me about something very important. Once again, I look like a fool.”

“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you.”

“Same difference.” I stood up and turned my back toward him, staring out the window and focusing on the busy street below.

He inched closer and gently took my arm.

“Please don’t touch me.” My voice wavered.

“Can you please sit down so I can explain myself to you?”

“There’s nothing—”

“Rose, please?”

I followed him over to the conference table and took a seat. My eyes were looking everywhere except at him because I knew once they did, the tears would fall.

“Rose, I was separated from her for over three years and my divorce was finally final a few months ago. Believe me, it would’ve been final much sooner, but she kept holding it up.”

I finally made eye contact with him, unleashing the anger that had built up inside me since the moment we stepped off the elevator. “Okay, that may be so, but did it not ever occur to you once to have shared that information with me? I don’t know…maybe before the first time or tenth time we slept together?”

“I’m sorry, you’re right, I should’ve told you. She was just a bad memory from my past that I wanted to forget.”

My bottom lip quivered and the dam holding back my emotions finally caved in.

“Rose, I swear to you, I didn’t mean to hurt you by keeping it from you. She’s just an evil bitch I wanted to forget.” He reached over and wiped away the teardrop rolling down my face. “I met her when I was young and stupid. She was one of those girls who hung out at the bars around the military base, trying to trap some unsuspecting guy into marriage.”

“So, what are you trying to tell me, you have a kid too?”

“What? No! I was twenty-one when I met her, and we were married two days after my twenty-second birthday. I was cocky as hell and thought I knew everything there was to know about life just because I was a Marine. I was thinking with something other than my brain, and I let her talk me into believing we were meant to be together. I’ll admit, part of it was to piss my father off a little, but then the joke ended up being on me.”

“So, what happened that made you realize she wasn’t the one for you?”

“After we got married, my father cut me off. He may have been a dick, but at least he had brains. He knew what she was all about, and he didn’t want any of my inheritance going to her. I didn’t care one way or the other because I never wanted to live off my family’s money. I wanted to make my own way.”

His inheritance? Another tidbit of information about himself he failed to mention.

“I should’ve known then she was only after one thing. She got so angry when she found out what my father did, and I couldn’t understand why. She kept telling me to get back in his good graces, so I’d be put back in his will, and I refused. God, I was so stupid at the time for not seeing her for what she was, but again, I wasn’t thinking with the upper half of my body.”

I looked away, not wanting to imagine him being with anyone else but me.

“I got sent on back-to-back deployments. I was a day away from coming home when I got hurt.”

He was finally opening up to me about his accident, but part of me wondered if he ever would’ve if this hadn’t happened.

“What happened?” I asked.

“It’s a long story. To cut it short, there was an IED set up. We drove right over it. I was one of the lucky ones who got thrown from the vehicle. I ended up with first-degree burns on my arm and a pretty extensive back injury. I was told I’d never walk again.”

“And that was lucky?”

“Yeah, it was.” His voice cracked. “Most of the guys I was with didn’t survive.” He bowed his head, but it was too late. I already saw the emotion building in his eyes. “I, umm…went into a pretty bad depression after it happened. I didn’t want to see anyone. I felt like half a man. She didn’t want to be stuck taking care of an invalid husband for the rest of her life, and I didn’t want her to. So, we started the divorce process. Then I found out she had been screwing around on me the whole time I was deployed, and it made it that much easier to let her go.”

I softened my gaze. “So, what happened to make her not want the divorce?”

“My father and I made up, and she just assumed, the inheritance was back in the picture. So, she totally changed her tune, and told me how much she loved me and wanted to make our marriage work. But this time I wasn’t stupid. I knew she was trying to hold on for as long as she could, hoping to get a piece of it.”

“I’m sorry, Alex. I’m sorry for everything that’s happened to you, but I’m not sorry for being angry at you for not telling me about her. I value the truth more than anything, no matter how much it hurts, and I just feel like—”

“I know, and I’m so sorry, Rose. You have every right in the world to be mad, but I swear, I didn’t mean to intentionally hurt you with this.”

“Why was she even here?” I asked.

He pulled out a beautiful emerald ring from his pocket. “This was my mother’s grandmother’s engagement ring. My mother foolishly gave this to me to give to the woman I married one day, and I was a bigger fool for giving it to her. It was part of the divorce settlement that she gave it back. I thought she’d just ship it, but she said she was in New York for a few days, so she wanted to drop it off in person.” He dropped his gaze to the table and fell silent for a moment. “More like she wanted to create trouble, and I guess she succeeded with her plan.”

“And let me guess, you thought I was just like her when we first met, and that’s why you hated me?”

He looked away and reluctantly nodded.

“I don’t see how, she has awful taste in shoes, and I wouldn’t be caught dead with that purse she was carrying.”

A slow, satisfied smile washed over him. Placing his hands on the sides of my face, he moved closer until our foreheads were touching. “Not everyone could be as perfect as you.”

“Was that supposed to be sarcastic?”

“Not at all.”

“Well, I’m still a little pissed.” He moved my hair out of the way and skimmed my neck with his lips.

I was such a sucker. He certainly knew how to wear me down, making it impossible to stay angry at him for long. “Alex?” I whispered.

“Yeah,” he replied, his mouth moving closer to my ear.

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and we’re through.” I had to at least pretend I was still holding my ground. He didn’t need to know that each time his lips met my skin, he was breaking down my resolve a little bit more.