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Montana Heat: Escape to You by Jennifer Ryan (12)

Ashley stood in front of the window, the light shining on her face, her eyes closed, and breathed through her warring emotions. She fought the urge to hide so no one, especially Brice, saw her basking in the bright, white day, and tried to enjoy her freedom. Beck’s warning that he might not be able to let her go initially set off a bolt of fear. But that quickly got swamped by the warmth that spread through her system and the thoughts of staying here with the intense man who surprised her with his honesty and depth of emotion when he tried to hide everything behind a wall of indifference. She saw past the facade to a man with a kind but battered heart. And a smile that made her belly flutter when he let one loose, which wasn’t often enough.

She hadn’t had anything to smile or laugh about in a long time, but she found herself daydreaming of a day when, held in Beck’s arms, she smiled up at him and something made them laugh together. As much as she wanted that kind of joy back in her life, she wanted to see Beck happy, too.

If she got the chance.

She glanced back at the laptop on the table. Before Beck disappeared into his room, he’d sat her down, put his hand on her shoulder, and asked her in his gentle but firm way to tell her story. She tried to boil down what happened to the bare facts in the report, but the more she entered and filled in that empty space the angrier she got until she couldn’t stand to think of it one more second. She felt the tick of an imaginary clock in her mind counting down to Brice coming after her and counting up the seconds Brice took up in her life.

She wanted this to be over.

But it was far from done.

As much as she wanted to run, Beck was right, she needed to stand and fight. To do that, she needed to find her feet again.

She wrapped her arms around her middle and stared out the window at the snowy landscape. Three months to Christmas. She’d missed spending the holiday with her friends, the dinners and cocktail parties held by friends in the business in gorgeously decorated Beverly Hills homes, and even the strained call with her mother they shared each year. She didn’t miss the loneliness of spending Christmas morning alone trying to make herself believe she wanted the peace and quiet. She didn’t even have a dog for company. She didn’t want the responsibility or guilt for leaving it every time she had to go on location for work for long periods of time.

She missed her simple house with the beautiful view of the hills. She loved sitting in the backyard, the flowers blooming in the Southern California sunshine year-round. She’d drink her coffee or favorite tea and stare at the view soaking up the sun.

The dark clouds parted and a sliver of sunlight beamed through, bounced off the crystalline snow, and shined on her face. She closed her eyes and soaked up the warmth. Her heart lightened as some of the fear she’d felt trapped in the dark fell away.

A hand settled on her shoulder, pulling her back into that nightmare. She jumped and swatted the hand away. Her back hit the glass as her hands came up to protect herself. She yelped, cutting off the scream that rose in her throat when she saw the man standing before her, familiar but different.

“Beck?” She stared in amazement at his transformation. He’d shaved the beard and cut his thick, long hair short along the sides and back, leaving it longer on top to fall back in a soft wave.

He slid his hand along his bare jaw and up along the side of his head. “It’s been a while since my face saw the sun. The hair wasn’t easy to cut with the clippers, but it’s a hell of a lot better than having it falling in my face all the time.”

She didn’t know what to say. She’d never seen a more handsome, rugged man in her life. Those penetrating gray-blue eyes stared at her. At first she was tongue-tied, then words tumbled out her mouth before she thought of them. “You’re gorgeous.” So much so that her stomach fluttered and her fingers tingled with the desire to reach out and touch his strong jaw and slide through his thick, silky hair.

His eyes narrowed, then dipped, scanning down her face and body, all the way to her toes and back up leaving a trail of heat in their wake.

Beck reached out, took the side of her face in his big hand, and swept his thumb over her cheek. “If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to have to—”

The alarm went off, buzzing incessantly, cutting off whatever Beck intended to say and her hope that he meant to kiss her. After all she’d been through, she couldn’t believe her mind and heart reached out to Beck in that way, but she craved his touch and the sweetness and light it shined into her desperate heart. For a split second there, she’d felt like a real person again. A woman, not some possession.

Beck swore, gave her one long regret-filled look, then went to the coffee table, picked up the remote, shut off the alarm, and changed the channel to check the cameras.

Ashley gasped. The unfamiliar white truck made her heart thunder. “Someone’s h-here.” Her voice cracked, fear clogging her throat.

Adam bounded off the couch and ran to her, wrapping his little arms around her hips. She held him close, looking from the front door to the back for a means of escape.

Beck closed the distance between them in a few long strides. With Adam between them, he cupped her face and made her look up at him. “It’s my brother. You’re safe. Don’t bolt.” A trace of a plea sounded in his deep voice, despite the order in his eyes.

With his hands on her face, the warmth from his palms sinking into her skin, the total awareness she had of him this close, she couldn’t do anything but fall further into the depths of his eyes that convinced her he’d protect her no matter what. The urge to run dissipated, but the frantic need to hide lingered in her gut.

The knock on the front door made her jump. Beck held on to her, leaned in with his cheek pressed to hers, and whispered in her ear. “No one will ever hurt you again and get away with it.” His lips pressed to her temple in a soft kiss, then he let her go all at once, turned, and walked to open the door for his brother.

Beck held the door only wide enough for him to look out. A man’s deep voice boomed with, “Holy shit, you finally cut your hair,” then, “You look damn good, man.” Relief laced those words from Beck’s brother. He cared deeply about Beck. That eased her a bit more about meeting strangers.

Beck said something under his breath that sounded like, “Take it slow and easy,” then opened the door and a near-duplicate version of himself walked in behind a golden-haired woman carrying a box filled with cupcakes.

Adam buried his face in Ashley’s leg and held her tight, hurting the bruises on her legs, but she held him close anyway and tried to breathe and soothe his fears at the same time.

The woman stopped in her tracks when she spotted them. “Oh my God, it’s really you. I knew that, but you’re here.” She smiled nervously like a lot of fans did when they saw her in person. “I loved you in all your movies, but Flame in the Night is my absolute favorite. The love story between you and Duncan is so romantic.”

Memories of the past year flashed through her mind. Bile rose up her throat and soured her mouth. She covered her lips with her fingers hoping she didn’t throw up as every ounce of blood drained from her head down to her feet with a punch to the gut that stopped her breath and her thrashing heart.

“Ashley.” Beck snapped out her name, drawing her attention and reminding her she wasn’t Aurora. She didn’t need to speak her lines for a madman, or anyone, anymore.

She found her breath again.

“This is my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Mia. Lord knows, we question her sanity for agreeing to marry Caden, but we’re happy to have her join the family.”

Mia held up her hand, showing off a huge diamond solitaire. The smile, love, and happiness on her face warmed Ashley’s heart, but made her wonder if she’d ever feel that kind of love and joy in her own life. Her gaze slid to Beck. Their eyes locked and the connection she couldn’t deny between them tugged against her chest, making her want to close the distance between them and tell him she got it. He didn’t think he’d have that in his life either. But maybe that look he gave her meant with her it might be possible. She wanted to cup that possibility in her hands, protect and hold on to it because everything seemed so out of control or lost to her and she wanted to have something, someone that made her feel good and hopeful again.

Ashley found her voice. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” Mia beamed, though at one look from Beck she dialed down the vibrant joy Ashley had a hard time feeling even a tenth of these days.

“I’m Caden.” The big man gave her a nod. “Whatever you did to transform this one back into my brother, thanks.”

She tilted her head and studied Beck’s new look. Though his appearance changed, he was still the same handsome man she saw under the disguise, but seeing the darkness fade from his eyes had changed a lot about him. He seemed more open, less guarded with her. Maybe because she saw right past all the barriers and fronts he put up to keep people away.

“Sometimes the character you play takes over. All I did was what he did for me and remind him who he really is.” She sucked in a steadying breath. “I’m Ashley.” It still felt weird, but she tried to embrace her true self and not stay locked in a part she hated but played to stay alive. “It’s nice to meet both of you. Thank you for picking up supplies for us. Once I’ve got my life back and squared away, I’ll pay you back for everything.”

“Already done,” Caden said, nodding at Beck. “That’s all the thanks I need.” He openly stared at Beck. “This is the best I’ve seen you look in two years. More.”

Beck gave Caden a dismissive half frown, but the shrug acknowledged Caden’s words and the concern that went with them. Caden didn’t mean the haircut and shave. He meant the ease that settled over Beck, though maybe not as comfortably as Beck hoped, but he’d get there.

She hoped she did, too.

Caden held up several large plastic bags. “We brought you both some new clothes and stuff.”

Mia crouched and held the box of cupcakes out to show Adam. “I heard you like sweets. I made these for you, Adam. I’m a chef and love to bake. Want one?”

Adam glanced up at Ashley, looking for approval and assurance that it was okay to approach the newcomers.

She softly brushed her thumb over his cheek. “If you don’t eat them, I will.”

“Share,” he said. One of the few words he’d spoken to her. He seemed to find it easier to open up to his idol, Beck.

“Now that sounds good.”

Ashley took Adam’s hand and walked him over to Mia. She hated how he hesitated the closer they got to the strangers. But she couldn’t fault him when she discovered she’d slowed her own pace, keeping Caden in her sight. Beck kept his steady gaze on her. He didn’t miss anything. She took a deep breath, let it out, and tried to relax so Adam could relax.

Adam stared down at the cupcakes with their thick white frosting.

Mia smiled softly, not moving an inch. “Do you like chocolate with vanilla frosting?” she asked Adam.

He looked up at Ashley.

She ran her hand over his head. “Do you, sweetheart?”

He nodded, but didn’t reach for one.

Ashley took one of the fat cakes, peeled the wrapper down, and took a huge bite. She rolled her eyes back and said around the sweet confection, “Oh, that’s good. You don’t want to miss out on that, sweetheart.”

Adam eyed Mia one last time, then grabbed a cupcake. He took three steps back and licked the frosting. That one sweet taste was all it took for him to stuff half the cake in his mouth without peeling the paper.

Mia laughed. “Slow down. You can have as many as you want.”

Adam’s eyes went wide. He chewed and glanced at Beck to be sure he could indeed have more.

“It’s your lucky day, little man.” Beck gave Adam a nod to let him know he wouldn’t get scolded or worse for taking the cake.

Adam went to him, leaned against his thigh, stared way up at Caden, and pointed his finger at him. “Good guy?”

Caden handed off the bags he held to Beck and crouched in front of Adam. He pulled his wallet from his back pocket and held it up to Adam, showing Adam his badge and credentials. “I’m a good guy, just like Beck.”

“I don’t want him to do it again.”

Caden narrowed his gaze on Adam. “Do what again?”

Adam ran back to Ashley and buried his face in her belly. She held him close with one hand at the back of his head and brushed her fingers through his bright hair to comfort him. Beck’s, Caden’s, and Mia’s gazes all went to her.

She met Beck’s hard stare. “He can’t find us.” She didn’t have to say anything more. If Brice found them, he’d kill them.

Caden stood and planted his hands on his hips. “The roads are icy but clear. A few more storm systems will move through over the next few days, but nothing like the last storm. We need to move forward on this.”

Ashley held up her hand to stop him.

She glanced down at Adam and brushed her hand through his hair. “Want to watch TV and finish that yummy cupcake?”

He nodded and took another bite of the treat. While he licked his lips, most of the frosting remained smeared on his mouth. And her shirt.

“Looks like you need a change of clothes,” Mia pointed out. She traded the box of cupcakes for the bags in Beck’s hand. “It’s not designer, but it will fit a hell of a lot better than the giant’s clothes.” She cocked her head toward Beck.

Ashley used to love trying on new clothes, experimenting with different styles, and transforming into yet another character. Now Beck’s oversized clothes felt like armor. Or just a comfy way to hide the evidence of her ravaged body. She hated to admit how much she used to relish her lithe frame with just enough curve to draw attention. She prided herself on being sexy, but not audacious. Classic, romantic with a hint of flirtation in the fashion she loved.

She checked on Adam sitting on the sofa, watching TV, and devouring his cupcake. Beck and Caden watched her. She didn’t mind Beck’s intense gaze. She’d grown used to it and the warmth and tingle it sent through her. She’d recognize that ripple of awareness the rest of her life and miss it when this thing blew up and she had to leave here or subject Beck, her very private rescuer, to her very public life.

“Ashley.”

Drawn back to Beck, she stared at him, wondering if he or anyone understood how something as simple as new clothes paralyzed her. She could almost feel Brice here, waiting for her to comply, to be his vision in whatever costume he chose. She wanted to tear off all her clothes and stand in her own skin. Naked, she was just Ashley. No polish. No covering up who she was from the inside out. No way to pretend she was someone else.

Beck walked over, took the bags of clothes from Mia, took Ashley’s hand, and gently drew her with him to his bedroom. Inside, he shut the door, released her shaking hand, and went to the bed. He upended the plastic bags on the bedspread, dumping pants, shirts, packs of socks and underwear, and a couple bras that got tangled around a sweater. Beck sorted out the jumble of clothes and laid them out so she could see everything.

“What do you want to wear?”

She stared at him completely at a loss.

“Mia picked out things in the colors you like,” he pointed out.

The long-sleeved tunic-length shirts in raspberry, dark purple, and a pretty sky blue were indeed some of the colors she favored. The cream sweater looked soft and warm. The leggings and jeans would be comfortable. She had a thing for cable-knit socks.

“Pick something,” Beck coaxed. “These are your clothes, Ashley. You decide what outfit suits you today.”

“What do you like?”

“You. I don’t care what you wear.”

Tears stung her eyes. “How do you know exactly what to say?”

“The truth is simple.”

And a bit complicated due to their circumstances. She couldn’t deny the attraction between them. Beck didn’t, in his way. But neither of them was in a good place. Two broken people coming together didn’t make a whole.

She tore open the plastic-wrapped bikini panties and chose the white with pink roses and satin trim. She added the pretty pink lace-trimmed bra to her hand, hoping it fit and didn’t hurt her ribs too badly. Opting for comfort and the potential for the best fit, she chose the black leggings with the raspberry top.

Beck tore the plastic ties off the pack of socks and handed her one of the white-and-black-speckled pairs.

“Come out when you’re done. They brought you some shoes, a few more sweaters, and a coat.” He turned to walk out and give her some privacy to change, but stopped short and turned back. He stared at her with her hands clutching the clothes she picked out to wear. He took two steps to her, reached up and took her face in his palms, and kissed her on the forehead. She leaned into him, savoring the feel of his warm lips on her skin, the softness of his touch on her face, the steady presence of him in front of her. “It might not ever go away, but it will get easier.” He kissed her forehead again, then released her. He headed for the door, saying, “I’ll get Adam dressed in his clothes, then we’ll need to come up with a plan for what to do next.”

He closed the door and she dropped onto the edge of the bed, wondering how he did this to her. One minute he made her feel present and in the moment and she fell under his spell of protection, the next he asked her to face her past and future. If she could, she’d freeze time and spend an eternity standing in Beck’s sweet embrace, his lips against her skin, his warmth wrapped around her, and the feeling of being truly cared for filling her heart and every dark corner in her soul.

Ashley went into the bathroom, set the clothes on the counter, stripped, and dressed, trying not to make a big deal out of something so stupid and simple. But the panties that hugged her bottom and stretched across her hip bones leaving a small gap between the band and her too-thin belly startled her. The bra, one size and cup smaller than she normally wore, sagged a bit against the top of her breasts even after she adjusted the straps. She reminded herself she’d fill out once she got a few more good meals.

The leggings hugged her legs and hips even if the waistband remained a bit loose. The tunic hung down her torso, showing off her bony structure. The bright color highlighted her pallor, hollow cheeks, and dull eyes.

“You just need some food, vitamins, and some more sun.” She silently scolded herself in the mirror for being so petty and superficial. She enjoyed wearing clothes that fit better and made her feel a little more like herself. She pulled on the socks, wiggling her toes in the soft material and the warmth that enveloped her cold feet.

“Ashley,” Mia called through the mostly closed bathroom door. “Did you find something that fit? Can I get you something else to try on?”

Ashley brushed her hand through her hair, sucked it up, and let go her worries about how she looked to herself and what she’d look like to others. She opened the bathroom door to the woman who’d gone out of her way—at the tail end of a massive storm—to help Ashley.

Mia smiled softly, standing back to give Ashley some space. “Oh, you look great. It’s probably not what you’re used to wearing, but I hope it will do for now.”

Ashley smoothed her hand over the pretty shirt. “Thank you. The clothes are great. All my favorite colors.”

“Well, there are so many pictures of you. It wasn’t hard to figure out what you might like. The sizes were my best guess and Beck’s suggestions based on your height and approximate weight.”

“I’m approximately half my size,” she tried to tease.

Mia smiled, helping ease Ashley’s nerves a bit more. “They’re a little big on you, but a few more cupcakes will take care of that.”

“I appreciate your thoughtfulness for the clothes and for making Adam’s day. He’s been through so much.”

“You’ve been through a hell of a lot more,” Mia pointed out. “If I can help you feel better, even in a small way with the clothes and supplies we brought you, then please, let me know if there is anything else you need.”

Ashley stared past Mia and out the huge windows, feeling the walls closing in on her again. “I want to go outside, but I’m afraid to leave this place.”

Mia put her hand on Ashley’s shoulder. “I know how you feel. After Caden and I were kidnapped and we got away, I had so many bad days where I had to force myself to leave the house.”

Ashley’s gaze zipped from the snowy landscape outside to Mia’s face and the pained look in her eyes. “What? You were kidnapped?”

“By a drug dealer who wanted revenge and tried to use Caden to find out Trigger’s true identity.”

“Good lord.” Ashley had some idea about the dangers Beck faced on the job, but to have someone come after your family to get to you. She understood even better how that would tear Beck apart and the guilt he must carry because of it.

“We got away. I’m alive because Beck helped save me. I’ve seen him falling faster and deeper into this dark place where even Caden and their sister, Alina, can’t reach him. Somehow, you did. I can’t tell you how relieved and hopeful you’ve made Caden. He’s been really worried about Beck. So thank you for giving Caden and me some peace of mind.” Mia gave her a playful grin. “I never thought I’d see him without that long hair and beard. I knew he was as handsome as Caden, but damn he’s gorgeous all cleaned up, right?”

Ashley couldn’t help the smile or the lightening in her heart. She missed this. Girl talk. Connecting with someone, talking about men and clothes and just having fun. “He doesn’t even know it.”

“He spends his life trying to look and act tough, but he’s got such a good and big heart.”

“He’s been very kind and patient and steady.”

“He won’t let anything happen to you or Adam. He and Caden are working on the best way to handle this and keep you and Adam safe.”

“I don’t know if anyone can keep us safe.”

“If anyone can, it’s Beck.”

Ashley didn’t need Mia’s assurance. Beck was that kind of guy. If he made a promise, he kept it.

Ashley followed Mia out into the living room and stopped short when she spotted Beck and Caden leaning over the laptop reading her account of what happened in the early days she’d been held by Brice.

“We’re going for a walk,” Mia announced.

Beck and Caden both jumped and turned to face them. The sorrow and anguish in their eyes tore at Ashley’s heart.

Mia pulled the tag off a brand-new thick black coat. She handed her the jacket along with a pair of black boots. Ashley didn’t take her eyes off the two men staring at her, knowing exactly how she woke up one day and realized that she was well and truly trapped. She wrote down the how, but in their eyes she saw the understanding of how desperate she’d felt and the endurance and will it had taken to get through all of Brice’s punishments. They’d seen too much in their work not to see in her all she didn’t capture in that report.