The short ride down the hall and up the elevator went by in a blur of people staring and whispering. Though there were many X-rays to cover the old and new breaks in Ashley’s bones, they went by fast, or so it seemed as she completely zoned out and went numb. She could do so with Beck a constant presence by her side or standing sentry outside the X-ray room.

Dr. Bowden settled her in another room and a more comfortable bed while they set up the IV and gave it time to slowly work its way into her system. The pain meds she added didn’t make her loopy, but lessened the pain and helped her relax after the day’s ordeal.

They helped loosen her tongue, too. She’d spent the last twenty minutes answering Dr. Lanning’s questions. She’d never seen a shrink. Didn’t know what to expect, but it felt more like talking to a new friend than someone trying to pry secrets out of her head.

“Is being in the hospital difficult?”

“It makes what happened to me seem even more real.” She didn’t know if that made sense. Of course what happened to her was real.

“Now everyone will know,” Dr. Lanning spoke Ashley’s thought.

“Yes. Not just the people who’ve seen me here.”

“Fans are swarming outside with the reporters and photographers. Your celebrity will ensure the story is spread far and wide.”

“There will be no escaping it.”

“Is that what you want to do? Escape?”

“Wouldn’t you? I wanted to be famous, but I didn’t want this. I wanted to be known for my work, the characters I played.”

“He took what you wanted and turned it against you.”

“He took the greatest thing in my life and made it ugly. I make people forget who I am and show them someone else. He twisted that around on me. And when I couldn’t convince him, he punished me.”

“Because you aren’t those characters, Ashley. You’re real. They are an illusion. One that you created, but that is different to each and every person who sees it because their perception is different from everyone else’s. Your version of that character takes on a life of its own in their imagination outside the story you show them on the screen. You’d have never gotten it right because he still saw himself as he is, but he wanted you to play the character who fell for the man sharing the screen with you.”

That made more sense than anything she’d ever thought to justify Brice’s behavior and how no matter how perfectly she played the role to match the movie, she’d never gotten it right for him, when it should have been perfect.

The same sense of frustration and defeat filled her.

Dr. Lanning glanced over her shoulder at Beck, who Ashley stared at nonstop. He centered her. He never took his gaze off her, but still caught both of the guys who walked by pretending to check their phones, but really snapped photos of her. He’d simply snagged the phones from their hands and tossed them to the security guard by the door, who erased the photos and escorted the people away.

“Is it hard for you to be around men?” Dr. Lanning asked, noting that Beck wasn’t the only one outside her window. Doctors and nurses worked at the station just past her room.

“I don’t know. I’ve only really been around Beck and his brother.”

“How does it feel to be around Beck? He’s a formidable man.”

For the first time all day, Ashley smiled softly, making Beck narrow his gaze on her, wondering what made her smile. Him.

“The first time I saw him, he had long hair, a full beard, tattoos up his arm, and an angry glare and scowl on his face. He pulled a gun on me. If I’d met him out in my old life, I’d have crossed the street to avoid him.”

“That must have scared you to see him like that with a gun in his hand.”

“It did. At first. But I couldn’t get the image of him with Adam sleeping in his arms out of my head. That big man held that little boy safe and sound. He told me I could go, but I couldn’t take Adam with me. He knew I needed to know I could leave, but he still wanted to protect Adam, even from me because I was out of my mind. Then he took care of me. He wasn’t gentle. Not in a way that he coddled me. He nudged. He pushed. He gave it to me straight. He never treated me like I’d break. That made me feel stronger. When I faltered, he held me up. For all Beck has had to do on the job, all the things he’s seen and done that weigh on him, I would bet my life that man would never hurt me.”

“You’ve formed a deep connection to him.”

“Maybe all a broken soul needs to heal is for another broken soul to see the whole of you and accept you, flaws and all.”

“He saved you. It’s normal to feel grateful, even beholden to that person.”

“I feel both those things for him, but I feel something much deeper, like without him in my life I’d be missing something truly precious.”

“Ashley, I should warn you that after what you’ve been through forming this kind of attachment won’t shut off the bad feelings and emotions you need to deal with.”

“That’s just it. I still feel all those things. I can feel them right out in the open with him. He understands. He gets it in a way others can’t because of the things he’s seen and done in his life. It’s not one-sided either. I see his pain, the torment he’s in, the way he’s had to play a part and forgotten what it’s like to be himself.”

“Don’t you think that two people who have similar experiences and things to work through and overcome might make it hard to give the other person what they need?”

“You have that wrong, Doctor. We’re the perfect people to help each other out because we can’t hide from each other.”

“What happens when you’ve both had time to heal and come to terms with your past?”

“I hope we’ll be better for each other. Whether that’s as friends or something more, I don’t know, but I will forever hold him dear. That’s just the way it is. I’ve never had that, or felt this way about anyone. I can’t explain it. I don’t even feel the need to analyze it or put it in terms that make sense to you or anyone else. After all I’ve been through, all he’s been through, I can only say that I deserve a friend like him in my life. I will be the best I can be for him and hope he feels the way he makes me feel.”

“Where do you go from here?”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen in five minutes, an hour, or days from now. I can’t seem to think like that right now. It overwhelms me. I know this thing will spin out of control. I don’t want to go with it. I want to find the calm in the storm and breathe. When I’m with Beck, it’s so easy to find that place.” She sighed, wishing to be back at Beck’s place, the snow falling outside, a fire in the hearth, and her safe with him. “I’m tired. I don’t want to talk anymore.”

She kept her gaze locked on Beck even as the doctor rose and went out to talk to him.

Beck turned to face the doctor as she came out of Ashley’s room. Dr. Bowden joined them for the meeting. Beck made sure no one was close enough to overhear their conversation and kept his voice low. “How is she?”

“As expected, traumatized, suffering from PTSD, but holding strong considering all she’s been through. She wants justice. She wants her life back, but she’s not sure what that will really look like. She has no real idea what she wants anymore except for this to be over.”

“She doesn’t need to know every detail right now,” Beck pointed out.

“No. I wouldn’t expect her to, but she’s got a sense that everything will be okay. That’s good. She understands that she won’t be allowed to cope and deal with this privately. Not like someone unknown would. It weighs on her that the life she chose has made her life infinitely more difficult in this situation where privacy and peace are necessary for her to heal.”

“I’ll find a way to give her those things the best I can, but under the circumstances we’ll have to fight for it.”

Dr. Lanning smiled at him. “She found the right man for the job. I have a feeling there’s nothing you wouldn’t fight for, for her. The bond she’s made with you is extraordinary.”

“If I can be the calm in her storm, I’ll do everything I can to protect her and make her feel safe again.”

Dr. Lanning narrowed her eyes. “How did you know . . .”

“Reading lips in my line of work comes in handy when you’re watching a suspect across the room and they think you can’t hear them.”

“What did you think about what she said about you?”

“That I feel exactly the same way about her. I can’t explain it either.” Two days ago he didn’t want to be around anyone. Now he couldn’t stand to be ten feet away from her. The impact of her words to Dr. Lanning made his heart ache with wanting her even if it was only exactly what Ashley said, two friends who held each other dear. He wanted more.

“You are important to her in a way that is tied to her recovery. Do you understand what I mean by that?”

“That if I let her down it’ll be detrimental to her.” He wasn’t just talking about hurting her feelings or breaking her heart. Those things were already damaged. He had the ability to devastate her even more. The thought of hurting her in any way made his own battered heart bleed. “I won’t let her down.”

Dr. Bowden interjected. “Can I release her, or do you think she needs to stay for observation?”

“As long as she’s staying with Special Agent Cooke, I see no reason to keep her. Her mental state is shaky, but she’s making reasonable and positive decisions.” Dr. Lanning directed her attention to him. “Keep things simple right now. Don’t ask her to make too many decisions about the future all at once. Keep her focused in the present to help her cope with the nightmares and memories that drag her into the past. Whatever you’ve been doing, it’s working for her. She told me she feels steadier than she has in months because of you. She may suffer bouts of being quiet or withdrawn. Try to pull her out of them, but don’t push too hard. She needs time to reflect and put things into perspective. If you feel that her attitude is shifting to destructive thoughts or she feels no sense that good things will happen or she’ll ever be happy again, we may need to medicate her and reevaluate her.”

“I’ll keep a close eye on her.”

“She wants to go home, but she’s afraid to also. It’s normal for her to want to do things, but be afraid of them. Coax her to try, especially when it comes to going outside. She’s been locked away—don’t let her do that to herself.”

“Now that Brice is in custody, I think she’ll want to spend more time outside and her fear will fade. She’ll lose that sense that he’s out there trying to get her.”

Dr. Bowden jumped back in. “I’ll sign her release papers, but the press and a horde of fans are still camped outside.”

Beck glanced over at Ashley, sound asleep in the hospital bed. “I’ll let her sleep a couple of hours, then sneak her out.”

“The staff is prepared to help you do that,” Dr. Bowden assured him.

Dr. Lanning handed him her card. “I’ll leave her in your capable hands. If she needs me, give me a call. After all she’s been through, talking to a professional will help.”

“When she’s ready,” he assured the doctor. He didn’t particularly like his sessions with the psychologist the DEA made him see after the shootings, but he had to admit they helped when he participated.

If Ashley wanted and needed the help, he’d make sure she got it.

“Take care of each other,” Dr. Lanning said, shook his hand, then left.

Dr. Bowden gave him a knowing smile. Yeah, he got it—everyone could see how much he and Ashley cared about each other. He’d get used to it. Right now, he wanted to take Ashley away from all the prying eyes. He didn’t much like everyone looking so closely at him either. It made his skin itch and the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. The warning that something was about to happen stirred in him but he didn’t know why. Then his cell phone beeped with a text message.

Beck swore.

“What’s wrong?” Dr. Bowden asked.

“Brice is on the loose. Tell hospital security to be on the lookout. Any reason someone from the staff needs to see Ashley again?”

“I’ll remove her IV myself. Otherwise, no.”

“No one but you comes into her room.”

Beck went to the security guard, gave him the heads-up about Brice and keeping everyone out of Ashley’s room, then he went in, took a seat next to her, held her hand, leaned in and kissed her good-night, and stood guard so she could sleep in peace until she woke up.