Beck’s stomach soured with every gut-wrenching sentence he read in Ashley’s account of what that bastard put her through. She had a way with words. Direct. To the point. The facts in brutal honesty.
I woke up alone, swallowed by a darkness I couldn’t escape in an empty cell with no windows. Nothing but the terror eating away at me as I struggled to understand how my friend turned into my captor. I tried to convince myself it was a misunderstanding, a mistake. He’d let me go. Hours I spent trying to convince myself he’d never hurt me. He wouldn’t leave me here alone and terrified. Those hours turned to days and even my worst nightmares about what he might do to me didn’t come close to the horrors I faced when that door opened again. The light poured in and revealed the evil that overtook my friend and turned him into the monster in my living nightmare. He beat me with a purpose. To cause pain. To make me understand that without my compliance in his twisted game I would endure more pain, more punishment, more humiliation than any person, animal, or thing should endure. He transformed me from one to the next until I felt nothing and became his possession to do with as he pleased. And it pleased him to torture me with his fists, with starvation, by withholding basic sanitary and biological needs, with his indifference, with devotion distorted by love that was nothing more than delusion and executed with exacting precision to create an illusion that broke me down to the point I knew giving in meant my death and I welcomed it.
If she ever took the stand against Brice, he wouldn’t stand a chance. No way a judge or jury heard her account and didn’t think that Brice deserved the maximum punishment for all his many twisted sins.
He’d like to get his hands on the bastard.
Brought out of his dark thoughts by Mia’s statement, he stared at Ashley as she mechanically put the jacket and boots on. She intended to leave the house and go for a walk. He understood how his place must feel claustrophobic after all she’d been through, but the hesitation in her movements, the way her gaze darted to the windows, and her teeth gnashed her bottom lip, he didn’t think she’d get far before her nerves got the better of her and she ran back to the relative safety she’d found here.
He didn’t want to think too hard about how it made him feel to know she wanted to stay here. He hoped with him, but understood most of her need to do so was a protection mechanism. No one would look for her here. He hoped. But knew inevitably Brice would come looking for her. It was only a matter of time, because the man Ashley described in her report needed his possession back. Without her, he’d never feel whole. He’d never feel anything. And the evil inside him needed to be fed or it would destroy Brice. And Brice would do anything to keep that evil happy so he could endure and feel alive.
If they were going for a walk, he’d tail them and make sure they remained safe. He stood but sat back at the table when Mia shook her head and warned him off with a narrow-eyed look.
She walked to Caden and held out her hand. Caden pulled the gun from the holster at his side and handed it to her. She tucked it down the front of her jeans and pulled her jacket closed, but didn’t zip it, ensuring she could get to the gun in a hurry if she needed it. Caden had trained her well after the trouble they faced hardly more than a month ago. Mia didn’t like guns, but Caden insisted she learn to respect and use one in case she ever needed it again. In their line of work, threats against them and their families were expected and sometimes carried out with dire outcomes. As Mia and Caden almost found out before Beck ended that threat with a bullet.
“We’ll be back soon.” Mia stood with her back to Ashley and pointed to the kitchen, sweeping her finger in an arc to the back of the house and around the property to indicate the route they’d take. Just in case.
All the bells and whistles went off in his mind and gut. He wanted to keep Ashley close and safe. He couldn’t do that if she was out of his sight.
Mia read his unease. “She needs this, Beck. I got it covered.”
Which meant Mia was prepared to do whatever was necessary to keep them both safe.
Beck still needed Ashley’s go-ahead. “Do you want me to come with you?” He wanted her to know he’d take her out if she needed to go and stay by her side if she needed that, too.
The indecision showed in her eyes and the way she opened her mouth to answer, closed it, then said, “We’ll be okay.”
“I want to come,” Adam said from the sofa. He looked so cute in his new jeans and blue monster truck T-shirt.
Ashley hesitated and so did Mia.
“I need your help, little man. We need to put together this puzzle Mia brought for you.”
Adam glanced back and forth from him to Ashley and back.
“How about after my walk we go down to the stables and see Beck’s horses?”
Adam’s huge smile was all the answer Ashley needed before she turned and rushed out the front door like if she didn’t do it now, she wouldn’t be able to do it at all.
Beck stared at the closed front door and fought the urge to go after her.
“I see why you’re attracted to her,” Caden commented. “Every man on the planet probably is, but Beck, after all she’s been through, getting involved the way you are, it’s not going to end the way you want. She’ll get through this and go back to Hollywood and make movies and get back to her glamorous and very public life. Your life depends on you staying deep undercover and off the radar.”
“What if that’s not the life I want to live anymore?”
“Can you live without the action, the danger, the adrenaline rush you’ve been chasing from the military to the DEA?”
Instead of answering, Beck asked, “How is life with Mia?”
“Great. I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
“What if instead of an adrenaline rush I wanted a steady dose of happy in my life?”
“If the DEA isn’t what you want anymore, I support you a hundred percent. You’ll save me several hundred gray hairs.”
Beck didn’t want to play pretend undercover anymore, but he still felt the pull of duty and desire to help others just as strongly as he ever did. “I’m thinking the DEA can use my expertise and skills in another way.”
“If you’d use your knowledge to train the up-and-coming guys for undercover work, your knowledge and uncanny instinct would be invaluable to them. You’d make a great team leader. Your tactical expertise alone would save lives in countless ways on both sides. You know how those guys think, the extremes they’ll go to to escape arrest. At this point, the DEA will practically let you write your job description. You know that. You’ve known that for a long time, but you never wanted to come in. You thrived being in the game.”
“The game is kicking my ass and messing up my head. I want to have a life and a family before I’m too old or dead to do it.”
Caden smiled. “You like her that much.”
“She’s so much more than I ever thought when I saw her in a movie. That’s just one side of her. I like all the others a hell of a lot more than just the image she plays on-screen. I didn’t expect this, her, to hit me the way they did. She’s the first woman in a long time who made me think more about her than myself.”
“Well, that’s something, especially with all you’re going through right now.”
“Exactly. I don’t want to pass up a chance that could mean something in my life because the timing sucks and it’s hard. Maybe it turns out to be nothing. But maybe it’s something.”
“I think sometimes about the two times I stood up Mia and what I’d have missed in my life if she hadn’t agreed to, and I hadn’t shown up, that third time for our date.”
“It was a hell of a first date.”
“Don’t remind me. The point is, if you want her, if you want this to work out, show up, Beck. Don’t let the past hold on to you so much so that you aren’t here right now.”
“I am here, man. She cut right through all the bullshit I’ve been shrouded in and found me. Maybe that sounds stupid.”
“No. It doesn’t. I’ve been trying to find the brother you buried for a long time.”
“I still have a lot of shit to deal with and resolve, but for the first time I can look at it without reliving it or feeling like I’ll never feel anything but how I felt in those dark moments.”
“Let them go, Beck.”
“Maybe I’m . . . no, I am hoping for more than I deserve or she’s capable of right now, but for a chance with her, I’d put it all away and try to be the man she deserves.”
“Beck, man, I don’t know what to say to that. What she’s facing . . . it’s a lot to deal with. You don’t even know if she feels the same way about you.”
“I know she does. What I don’t know is if she feels it for me, or just because of all she’s been through I’m a lifeline and a safe place to hide.”
“I can see why she’d think that. You’re a cop. You can protect her.”
“She needs that, but I think it’s more.”
“I hope it is.” The worry lines across Caden’s forehead deepened with the concern in his eyes.
Adam crawled up into Beck’s lap with the puzzle box. “Is she coming back?”
Beck kissed Adam on the head and held him close. “Yes, little man. She’ll be back soon.” He missed her already, too.
“Mom isn’t coming back.”
Beck met Caden’s intense gaze. Unspoken questions bounced back and forth between them. They were both wondering the same thing. What happened to Adam’s mom?
“Are you sure?” Beck held his breath, hoping Adam knew something about his mother and that what he thought happened to her wasn’t the truth.
Adam didn’t answer, just dumped out the puzzle pieces on the table in front of them. He handed a corner piece to Caden.
“Tomorrow.” That’s all Caden had to say to tell Beck that with the end of the storm came the end of their secrecy—they would have to reveal that Ashley hadn’t given up her celebrity life and gone into hiding away from the public eye all this time. They needed to move forward and arrest Brice before he had a chance to make a move on them.