Chapter 20
Luke
By Sunday, Anna wasn’t better. She was worse if anything. She barely spoke to me and spent a lot of time in bed sleeping or standing in front of the window looking out. I wasn’t sure if it was her period bothering her or the worry about her dad. I couldn’t figure it out.
She wouldn’t talk to me about it, either. I asked her a couple of times what was wrong, and she always told me everything was okay. But I wasn’t stupid, I could see something was up.
“I think we should chat,” I said after she woke up. She had slept in a lot later than I had. She was exhausted lately.
“What about?” Anna asked and looked suspicious.
“About what’s going on,” I said. “You’ve been so off lately, and I have no idea what’s going on with you.”
“Nothing’s going on,” Anna said.
“You’re so tired all the time. And you’re distant and switched off. I know it’s none of my business, you can be the way you want to be, but I’m worried about you, and you’re so closed off from me compared to how we were when you first arrived here.”
Anna nodded, looking toward the window where the snow was softly swirling from the sky.
“It’s my time of the month,” Anna said. “I’m struggling with cramps and headaches and mood swings, and I don’t want to make it your problem. It’s really crappy, I know. I’m sorry about that. It will be over soon, and then everything will be fine.”
I sighed. She sounded convincing when she said it, but I wasn’t sure I believed her. Something was up, and I couldn’t tell what it was, but I had a feeling it wasn’t only her period that was the problem.
I wanted her to talk to me and tell me what was wrong. It was as if she had shut me out and it drove me crazy. I could handle a lot of things but when I was emotionally involved with someone, which I had become with Anna, I needed communication. I had realized very early on she was my weakness, and I needed to know how I could help her if nothing else. But she wouldn’t talk to me.
“How about we have a cup of coffee together and then start on breakfast?” Anna asked. It was the first time she had offered to do something together in a few days, and I nodded, jumping at the opportunity.
We walked to the kitchen together. We had a little routine where Anna made the coffee, and I made the fire, and we worked together in silence.
When the coffee was ready, Anna brought it to the couch, and we sat down together.
“Have you seen signs of the mountain lion again?” Anna asked.
I shook my head. “Not since I scared it off that last time, thankfully.”
Anna nodded. “Do you think it’s still around?” she asked.
I shrugged. “It might be. If there’s been enough food for it to stick around, then it wouldn’t have moved on despite the weather. But if there’s no food and it got a scare, it might have left. Let’s hope for the best.”
We sipped our coffee in silence. Anna pressed the back of her fingers against her mouth, and she looked pale.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
Anna shook her head. She closed her eyes and breathed through her nose. When she opened her eyes and removed her hand, she opened her mouth to say something but a look crossed her face that I couldn’t place and she jumped up, putting the coffee cup hard down on the table before she ran to the bathroom. The coffee splashed onto the coffee table, and a moment later, I heard her throwing up. I walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door.
“Anna? Can I get you anything?”
“Go away,” she said in a strained voice before more vomiting sounds followed. “I’ll be out in a minute.” And more vomiting.
I sighed and walked back to the couch, sitting down. What was going on? If she was sick, I had to make a plan to get her to a doctor. Unless it was morning sickness.
Something clicked in my mind, and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before. She was throwing up; she had been distant; she was tired all the time. What if Anna was pregnant?
I thought about the ripped condom. God, I should have thought about that. I should have taken her to the pharmacy to get the morning after pill.
My stomach turned at the thought. How would she raise a baby? How would I be a dad if I was on the run all the time? This wasn’t the life for a child. I should have been more responsible.
I waited for what felt like forever before Anna came emerged from the bathroom again. She looked pasty, her eyes drooped, and she collapsed on the couch again, her eyes closed. I watched her, unsure how to word it. I wanted to talk to her about it, but it wasn’t the easiest topic to broach.
“Are you pregnant?” I blurted out after I tried and tried to find the right words.
Anna froze, opening her eyes to look at me.
“What?” she asked.
“Pregnant,” I said again.
Anna shook her head. “I’m not,” she said. “I told you—I’m on my period. I can’t be on my period when I’m pregnant.”
I nodded. That made sense. Relief washed over me. I didn’t know what I would have done if she was pregnant. I wouldn’t have wanted her to get rid of the child, but I couldn’t imagine a life where I had a child with someone. I couldn’t see how we would give that child the life it deserved. I felt silly for asking now that the shock was over and it turned out there was no threat of any kind.
Maybe it was better to leave the whole thing. I was driving myself crazy wondering what was going on with her when maybe nothing was going at all. I thought of something.
“You’re tired often, though. And you just threw up.”
Anna nodded. “I think it’s a stomach flu. I feel sick a lot, and you’re right, I’m sleeping more than usual.”
It wasn’t the first time Anna had told me she was feeling sick. I should have taken that into consideration.
“If you’re getting sick we should take care of that,” I said. I felt better now I knew what was going on and there was something I could do about it. “I don’t want you getting any sicker.”
Anna nodded. “I’m trying to rest and take it easy,” she said.
I was in caring mode, now. I felt better now that I knew what it was, and I could take care of a sick person better than I could handle the possibility of fathering a child.
“I’m going to make you soup,” I said, walking to the kitchen. “You just take it easy.”
I started on the soup, browning meat and onions before I added water and started adding vegetables as I chopped it. I was in my comfort zone. I could make a mean soup and nutrition was exactly what Anna needed. When I looked over my shoulder at her, she had fallen asleep on the couch. It was good that she rested.
When the soup was ready, I dished it into a bowl and added bread to it that I had browned with oil in the oven. I carried a tray to her and gently woke her up.
“Here,” I said. “Eat this. It should help settle your stomach and make you feel better.”
Anna looked at the soup before looking at me.
“People don’t usually take care of me like this,” she said.
“I’m not them,” I said. “I take care of you. And it’s a crime that they don’t, anyway. You’re precious.”
Anna blushed.
“I’m going to run to the store,” I said. “I’ll try to make it fast. I want to make sure we have what you need, and I’m going to get ginger tea and ginger ale to soothe a sour stomach.”
“I’ll be okay, here,” Anna said.
I nodded and kissed her before bundling up and leaving the cabin. I was worried about leaving her alone. Anna was feeling sick, and even though I was relieved it wasn’t anything more serious, like a baby, I was worried about how she would cope without me. At least, she was capable of caring for herself and chances were that she would sleep the entire time I was gone.
I hoped she would eat the food I had made for her, first. I knew she didn’t have much of an appetite, but she had to get food into her system to heal.
I was also worried about the people that were after her. I was sure they wouldn’t find her at the cabin—I had been safe there for months on end—but if they did find her and I wasn’t there to protect her, I would never forgive myself.
I made my way to Dillon as fast as I could so I could get back to her again. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to take care of her, and I wanted to keep her safe.
The store was quiet, thankfully, and I picked up everything that I thought she might need. In no time at all, I was headed back. The road was quiet as well—the storm kept most people indoors most of the time—and I made good time. Because there were so few cars out, I noticed the black SUV behind me almost the moment it appeared. At first, I didn’t think it was strange. But when it followed me out of Dillon and into the middle of nowhere, I started to wonder if they were suspicious. Was someone following me? And if they were, then why? Maybe I was a little paranoid after what had been going on with Anna and how she had been worried about someone finding her, but it was in my nature to be careful since I had been running for so long.
So I tested it. I drove past the road that led to the cabin to be safe. Instead, I turned into a dirt road a few miles further that no doubt led to someone else’s cabin.
The SUV followed me. It could still be a very rare coincidence. I knew the land well enough, knew that the dirt road split off into several forks and I sped up a little so I could move between the trees before the SUV reached me. It didn’t take long before I was between the trees and I couldn’t see the SUV anymore. Which meant they wouldn’t be able to see me, either.
I waited a while before I turned back to the road and looked both ways. The SUV was nowhere to be seen. I was sure they had gone on and taken another fork in the road, trying to find me.
I steered back onto the main road and headed toward the cabin, keeping my eyes open for them. I drove past my road one more time to be safe, but I had successfully lost them.
When I turned into the road that led to the cabin, I was worried I might see the SUV there already, and I was relieved to find that wasn’t the case.
I didn’t know who those people had been and what they had wanted, but they had been following me. They had wanted to know where I was going and now I wanted to know why. Were they here for Anna? If they were, how did they find her? Or were they here for me? It was more likely that the mafia had found me. To think that they were this close was chilling. But I wasn’t going to pack everything up and run, not right away. I would keep my eyes open and see if the threat was recurring. If it happened again, I would know, but I had been hiding out here for a year and I had been safe.
When I arrived at the cabin, Anna was awake.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
She nodded. “So-so. I’m glad you’re back.”
I walked to her and kissed her. “I’m sorry I took a little longer,” I said. I wasn’t going to tell her about being followed. There was no reason to make her panic until I knew for sure what was going on.