Here it is. This is the moment we both decide if we’re going to cross that line.
I can head back to my room, pull the covers up to my chin, and forget about everything. We can go back to being coach and student. No lines have been crossed, and no contracts have been broken.
Or I can forget the show, forget everything, and just be. Be with the man I’ve wanted since I first laid eyes on him. Be with the man who wants me so fiercely in return that he’s willing to risk everything–his reputation, his contractual obligations–for me.
Do I stay or do I go?
Without any hesitation, I reach back and unsnap the clasp of my bra. My eyes remain locked on his as I let the material fall from my chest and down my trembling arms. His eyes are pulled downward and there’s an audible hiss as he takes in my almost naked body. I go for broke as I gently push my panties from my hips and down my legs. Standing before him, naked, is exhilarating. Better than I ever could have imagined this moment. And this moment has only just begun.
I watch helplessly as Beau mimics my actions. He pushes those tight boxer briefs that leave absolutely nothing to the imagination down his long legs. His actions seem so much more exact as his large erection bounces free. There are no words as we both stand before each other, completely naked, and looking our fill.
Ten seconds or ten minutes later, I slowly make my way over to the hot tub. The water almost scalds me as I slowly lower my body into the welcoming warmth. Bubbles tickle my overly sensitive skin as I glance up and wait. Will he join me?
I don’t have to wait too long for my answer because seconds later, Beau is slipping into the hot tub with me. He remains on the opposite side, though, directly across from me. We continue to stare at each other as if having an entire conversation without even speaking. I can see his desire, his wants, his needs. Even if I didn’t just see the evidence of it when he removed his boxers, I can see it written clearly in his dark eyes.
Without speaking, Beau offers me a wet hand. I take it without hesitation and he pulls me through the water and into his lap. I straddle him, truly feeling the softness of his skin for the first time. The hot water only seems to magnify the heat of the moment. His erection presses against my core as he runs his wet hands up my neck and threads them into my hair.
I shiver from the mixture of his touch and the cool air as his lips finally meet mine. The kiss starts hesitant as if testing the waters or waiting for me to change my mind, but that isn’t happening. And it doesn’t take long until this kiss turns raw. Unadulterated need and lust. The dam breaks, and we’re all hands and lips and teeth. I grind my center against him as his tongue plunges deep into my mouth. He tastes like alcohol and something I can only associate with Beau. It’s a taste I’ll never forget. And never get enough of.
Beau runs his left hand down my neck and touches my chest. Lightning strikes my slick core as he plays with my nipples, pulling and massaging them with his calloused fingers. The moan that escapes my mouth is swallowed up by the night as I close my eyes, absorbed and lost in the feel of his hands on me.
After showering each breast with plenty of attention, his hand finally glides downward. When he touches my center, I almost come completely undone. I whimper as his fingers stroke and tease the very essence of me. When I open my eyes, they collide with black, dilated pupils. I’m just about to lean forward and kiss those delicious lips when I feel the first finger enter me. The sensation is out of this world, like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I uncontrollably roll against his hand, intensifying the feel of his hand against my clit. When he adds the second finger, I’m lost. His lips attack mine with ferocious hunger as he glides his fingers through the wetness inside of me, bringing me towards the edge of release. My entire body is flying high as my internal muscles lock around his fingers, pulling him deeper than I ever thought possible. His thumb grazes the little bundle of nerves and I soar over the edge. I shatter into a million tiny pieces as I come violently on his hand.
Beau slows down as I start to float down from the clouds. “I will never get the image of you coming like that out of my head. When I’m old and gray, I will still imagine this moment and remember it with such precision, such detail. But right now, I need to be inside you.” His words fuel the fire I didn’t know was still smoldering. My body rages back to life, ready for another round.
“But not here. Not in a hot tub. I want to take you for the first time in a bed,” he adds as he places open-mouthed kisses on my lips, cheeks, and chin.
“Okay,” I reply, not about to deny us this moment.
Beau stands up with me still locked around his waist. He steps out of the hot tub, careful not to slip and fall on the now wet deck. The air is cold and sends chills through my body as Beau walks through the French door leading to my suite. Gently, he sets me down on the edge of the bed, but I don’t let go. I pull him down on top of me as I lie back on the bedspread.
I kiss his lips with such intensity that it steals my breath, not that I could really breathe right now anyway. Beau’s weight deliciously presses down on my entire body as his hands begin to explore me once again. When he reaches my center, he finds that I’m still wet with want.
“God, you’re so wet,” he whispers against my lips.
“You. You do this to me,” I reply as his lips caress mine and my legs tighten around his hips.
“Are you sure?” he asks, his eyes searching my own.
“More than I’ve ever been sure about anything in my life,” I tell him honestly.
And now we both step over the line–together. So far over that line that I can’t even see it anymore.
“I need to go get protection,” he says as he runs his hands up my sides and caresses my chest.
“I don’t want you to leave. I’m clean, I promise. And I’m on birth control,” I confess.
“I’m clean, too. I swear. I get tested every six months and I was tested before this season started.”
“Then make love to me without it,” I whisper as his eyes widen.
“Yes, m’am,” he answers as he slides us both up the bed. He lays me out and takes in my wet, naked body. I don’t feel the cold air anymore. No, it’s replaced by the raging inferno of desire that can only be associated with Beau Tanner.
With gentle precision, Beau lines up his pulsating erection at my entrance. Our eyes are locked as he slowly starts to push forward.
“Mine,” he whispers the moment he’s completely seated inside of me. From root to tip, he fills me so wholly and perfectly. My mind blanks from the intense sensations of our intimate connection. We continue to stare deeply into each other’s eyes as we become one for the first time.
After several silent moments, which allow me to adjust to the size of him, a fine sheen of sweat breaks out over his brow. “I have to move, baby,” he confesses as his face tightens.
“Then move, Beau,” I direct.
He starts out slow and easy as my insides loosen up to accommodate him. His lips are tender and soft as he slowly slides in and out of me. I can see the moment that his fragile control starts to slip. His face becomes tighter and his breathing more labored. As if completely on its own, his body starts to pick up the pace. He takes me for the ride of my life as our bodies slap and grind towards a shared release. I keep my legs firmly locked around his narrow hips as he slams his body into me with enough force to rattle the bedframe.
The sound of our bodies connecting and our moans of pleasure are the only sounds in the room. Beau pushes me higher and higher towards orgasm. His hands grip and slide along my skin as if he can’t get enough of my body, pushing me to the point of no return. When I can’t hang on any longer, I let myself slide over the edge of oblivion. Beau joins me moments later, our bodies as one while our mutual releases throw us orbiting into another world. A world where only we exist. Us. Together.
When we both start to gain control of our breathing, Beau slides his body from within mine. He curls up against me, pulling me tightly so that not even air can slip between our connected bodies. His warmth wraps around me, heating me better than the blanket we lie on ever could.
“I care for you, Layne. More than I’ve ever cared for anyone before,” Beau whispers into the dark. The meaning is evident, but doesn’t send me into the panic attack that I expected to come with that sort of revelation. Maybe because I care for him more than I ever have before too.
So when I reply, the words are honest and easy. “Me, too.”
We lie in silence for several minutes as the implications hang over us. There’s no going back. Hell, I wouldn’t even if I could.
“Tell me about the song. I couldn’t find it online when I looked it up.”
“I wrote it,” he answers, confirming what I deep down probably already knew.
“It’s a beautiful song. I really like it.”
“It’s for you. I wrote it for you.”
The air is expelled from my lungs as I feel his arms strengthen around me like he’s afraid I’m going to bolt. But what he doesn’t know is that I won’t. I can’t. Even as the fear of being hurt, being betrayed, niggles in the back of my mind, I force it back and won’t let it take root. Beau isn’t Colton.
“Thank you. It’s the greatest gift anyone has ever given me, except for Eli,” I say.
“We’ve got a big decision to make, Layne. Tonight was so much more than sex. At least it was for me,” he says.
“It was for me, too.”
“Good. We have a choice to make about the show. We can go on, pretending this night didn’t happen and finish out the last two weeks. Or we go to the network and pull out.”
I’ve already thought about this choice. We can go about our lives and finish out the show, but then I have to live with the fact that I broke the contract and didn’t tell anyone. Can I live with that decision? Or we tell the network and risk lawsuits. It’s not an easy decision, but a necessary one.
Whatever we decide, we will do it together. Because when it’s all said and done, we both made the decision to sleep together. We both broke the agreement within the documents we signed. We both destroyed our futures on Rising Star.
And now we have to deal with the consequences.