“We’re here,” I announce.

Of course it's not like Jacqueline can't see the vast ocean in front of us. It's fucking massive.

But she hasn't said anything since we got into the car and she told me to take her anywhere I wanted. Before I could suggest a secluded place where I could fuck her senseless in the great outdoors, I caught a glimpse of her face.

“Oh,” Jacqueline says, with the same expression she’s been wearing the whole drive.

Even though we’re only inches apart in my car, it feels like she’s somewhere I can’t reach. She has a vacant stare, and her voice is barely above a whisper.

What’s gotten into her?

First, she begged me to take a day off together. Now, when we should be enjoying the day off, she’s sweating like a drug mule about to go through customs.

“Angel, are you worried about something?” I take her hand as we both make our way toward the boardwalk.

“We’ll talk later,” Jacqueline says, staring off into the distance.

“Okay. But I want you to know that no matter what it is, I’m still going to be here for you when you’re done talking.” I stroke the back of her delicate hand.

There’s a hint of a nod, but otherwise I see no signs of her having heard me.

“Jacqueline, angel, listen to me,” I say. “I meant what I said. Nothing can change my mind about you. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and that’s all that matters.”

“Uh-huh,” she says. It’s like she has mentally blocked her ears. She turns to me with a fake smile and says, “Let’s get something to eat.”

I tell her to wait for me on one of the benches while I get some hot dogs from the same stall where I’ve always bought them from.

How long ago was it, when I first took Jacqueline here on our first date? It feels like a lifetime ago, but it also feels like a second ago.

Our relationship has grown and strengthened since then. She was just a stranger then, but now she’s my lover, my girlfriend, my partner in life.

But sometimes, I wonder… I still don’t know something very important about her.

She has a secret that's apparently dark enough to tear us apart. What could it be?

And is she about to tell me now?

I feel like I know her well enough to say that I trust her and love her no matter what.

At the same time, my rational mind tells me she’s trouble.

The paranoid conspiracy theorist within me tells me she could be an agent planted by the KGB to dig for information about my work and kill me as soon as she gets what she’s after. But it's not like I know any information worth an assassination.

“Do you speak Russian, Jacqueline?” I ask as I hand her a hot dog.

“Huh?” Jacqueline frowns. “No.”

“Of course you’d say that.” I want to tell her that’s exactly what a KGB agent would say, but her stormy blue eyes say this is not the time for dumb jokes.

I take a seat beside her on the wooden bench and watch as she takes one tiny bite after another. She stares off into space again.

What kind of a wound has she been carrying around, in that petite body of hers?

I diagnose and fix what’s wrong with people every day, but I can’t help the woman I love. It makes me feel powerless.

I hate this feeling. It reminds me of a moment on the night of The Incident. the cops kicked the door open, and just as I’d feared, Sam was no longer breathing.

I need to fill this silence. I have to find out what’s bothering her. Everything sucks when she's unhappy; even this kick-ass hot dog tastes like shit.

“You know, you can eat the entire hot dog,” I say the first thing that comes to mind.

“Huh?” Jacqueline asks, taking a break from chewing the tiny morsels of food in her mouth.

“I only owe you half a hot dog, remember?”

“Oh. Right.” Her lips spread into a small smile. Finally, her gaze focuses on me and she sees me. “Thanks.”

“It’s just a hot dog.” I raise my hand to caress her cheek. “If I could buy you a thousand hot dogs and get a thousand smiles in return, I’d do it. Happily.”

Jacqueline’s smile widens, but then sadness clouds her eyes. “Sorry, Gabriel.”

“What for, angel? You’ve given me some of the best moments of my life.”

“Sorry because I’m not who you think I am. Because I’m going to disappoint you. I should’ve left you alone on the balcony that night.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew the truth,” Jacqueline says with a wry smile.

“Try me.”

“I don’t know how to tell you this.” Jacqueline drops her gaze and absently plays with the phone in her hands. “But let me start by saying that it was never my intention to deceive you. I just wanted to say hi to you, but then the conversation went in an unexpected direction and I…couldn’t just walk away.”

“Okay. I'm going to need some context to understand what you’re talking about… but okay.”

“You’ll see when I tell you everything.” Jacqueline gazes into my eyes and says, “I’m scared you won’t see me the same way again after I tell you. I’m terrified I’ll never catch you with that same look again on your face.”

“Angel, I’ll still be here when you’re done. Everything between us will stay the same. I told you.”

She keeps staring at me like she’s recording every word and filing it in her mind in case we never see each other again.

This is getting on my nerves.

This means she doesn’t trust me when I pledge her my loyalty.

“You have nothing to worry about,” I say, a little more brusquely than I intended.

“I know. I just need time to get it all out. That’s why I asked you to take the day off. This is not something I can just blurt out in a few minutes. I need to organize my thoughts. I’ve imagined this moment for years and now that it’s finally happening, I can’t believe it’s real.”

Did she just say “years”? But we haven't even known each other for half a year.

Jacqueline pauses to take a breath and gives me an apologetic look. “Sorry. I don’t want this to end. I know we’ll fall apart once I tell you the truth, but I have to say it anyway. I don’t want you to find out from someone else. The least—”

BEEP.

A loud electronic noise from the pocket of my jeans interrupts Jacqueline.

Hurriedly, I take my pager out and light up the screen. I told an intern to only page me in case of absolute emergency, but I hope he’s just paging me to let me know he’s ticked off another unimportant thing on his to-do list. As usual.

…

Fuck.

Jacqueline and I share a look. Neither one of us wants to delay this conversation, but we both know duty calls.