The flight to San Francisco took over three hours, and every minute of it was spent in grim silence, with Nathan Callis’ mind having taken on a masochistic bent. It forced him to replay Alyx’s frantic call, forced him to relive the tension that had gripped him the moment he realized she was about to break apart.

“I don’t care what you’re doing, just come here.” Words so damn unlike Alyx to say, her need like tendrils that threatened to strangle his heart. Instinct had kicked in a second after, and he took charge – the way they both knew she was asking him to.

Tell me where you are.

Go to the nearest hotel.

Request a room.

Enjoy a glass of wine then wait for me.

He had issued the instructions in a hard voice, knowing that it was the only way to get her to move and keep it together. “Say you’ll do it, sweetheart.” The words formed another command.

It took Alyx so long to answer that when she did, Nathan had been an inch away from growling her name out.

“Okay.” Her tone had been low and fragile, but at least it was no longer shaking. She had calmed down, and Nathan’s own breathing had slowly eased at the realization.

As soon as he had ended the call, his godfather had remarked in a tone rich with interest, “I’ve never seen you so worried before.”

Understandably so, Nathan had thought grimly, since worry didn’t come naturally to him.

He had almost always been in control of his life, his absentee father having made him self-reliant from when he was a child. And in the one instance he had made a grave miscalculation, it had only caused him pain and bleakness.

But not worry.

Never worry.

To worry meant a part of his life had become unpredictable and out of control, and that had never happened to him in the past.

Then again, Alyx Marshall hadn’t been a part of his past either.

Upon arriving at the airport, a limousine was already waiting for him. The ride to Alyx’s hotel in small-town Rockton took half an hour, and he used the time to call her. He must have dialed her number at least a dozen times, but all of it went straight to her voicemail. By the time he made it to her suite, Nathan had been prepared for the worst.

He rapped his fist furiously on the door. “It’s me. Open up.” He tried the knob and cursed when he found it unlocked. Stalking inside, he bit out, “What the hell are you thinking---” He broke off.

Alyx was lounging on the sofa, elbow propped on the armrest, head cocked to the side. Her eyes were questioning, but her smile was goofy as she sang out, “Hellooooooo.” She was also dressed in nothing but her underwear, a modest pair that kept everything hidden but was nonetheless made sexy as hell by the combination of black silk and tiny red ribbons.

Fuck.

His gaze slid to the bottle of wine on the table. She had barely done damage to it, her wine glass still half-full.

“You’re completely smashed, sweetheart.” Nathan’s tone was half-exasperated, half-resigned. “Did you drink on an empty stomach?”

“Yup!” Her tone was gay. “And now it doesn’t hurt anymore!”

“That’s good…” Walking forward, he said dryly, “Because your head’s going to hurt like a bitch tomorrow.” Looking down at her, he asked, “I’m guessing you’re not much of a drinker?”

“That depends.” Alyx fluttered her lashes.

“On what?”

She giggled. “On which answer would get me in your bed, dummy!”

A grin tugged at Nathan’s lips despite the seriousness of the situation. Who would’ve thought inebriation could make Alyx so wonderfully flirty? Bending down, he scooped her up---

“Are we going to bed?”

“Yes.”

“Woohoo!” She threw her arms around him, her large breasts pressing hard against his chest.

Nathan fought for control. He had never taken advantage of a drunk female, and he wouldn’t fucking start now. When he tried laying her down, Alyx resisted letting go even as her back touched the bed.

“Alyx---”

“Don’t leave me.” The words suddenly came out choking. “Please.”

Nathan’s jaw clenched. “I won’t leave you.” He managed to keep his voice gentle even as rage rampaged inside of him. He had always dreamt of having Alyx beg him, but never like this. Never fucking like this.

“I’m just going to order room service, sweetheart.” But when he tried pulling away, her arms only tightened.

“You said you wouldn’t leave me,” Alyx accused.

Lifting his head until their gazes met, he asked softly, “What has you so afraid?”

She slowly shook her head. “Not afraid.” Unspoken pain threaded her voice. “Just tired.” A smile wobbled on her lips. “So tired of hurting.” Her voice caught. “You know?”

Ah.

“Okay then.” Instead of pulling away, he slid his arms back under her and lifting her up, he sat down on the bed and stretched his legs out before placing her in his lap. She immediately snuggled against him like a trusting little kitten.

A curvy vamp of a kitten whose scent tantalized him as much as the feel of her abundant breasts against his body---

Nathan leaned back against the headboard and closed his eyes. This was going to be one long damn night---

“Nathan?”

It took him a moment to answer. “Yes, sweetheart?” He strove to keep his mind off the gutter. She’s fucking heartbroken, Nathan Callis. This is no goddamn time to lust after her.

“Can’t you please just fuck me?”

Nathan choked.

“It’s just not enough that you make me come. It only feels good when it’s happening, b-but when I’m alone---” Her fingers curled against his shirt. “I can’t stop hurting. And I want to stop hurting. I’m tired of hurting.”

“Sweetheart.” He managed to keep his voice steady. “I don’t think sex is going to solve your problems.”

Her head jerked up, hitting him by the chin, and Nathan grunted in pain.

“How do you know?” she demanded as she pushed herself up to glare militantly at him. “Have you tried fucking someone’s pain away?”

“Well, no---”

“Ha!” Alyx flashed him a triumphant smile. “Then it’s decided!” She nodded vehemently. “You’re going to fuck my pain away---”

“Alyx.” His voice was strained. He felt bad that she was hurting, but all this talk of fucking wasn’t helping, and it was all he could do not to reverse their positions and roll her under him so he could give her exactly what she wanted.

“Don’t you want to fuck me?” She was speaking in a woe-is-me-voice now, and Nathan swallowed back a groan.

“It’s not that, sweetheart.” His fists clenched and unclenched in an effort to keep his need for her contained. “You must know I want to fuck you, but---”

“If you don’t want to fuck me---” This time, belligerence had replaced the self-pity in her voice, Alyx’s mood swinging from one extreme to another, and Nathan was torn between wanting to laugh and kiss her.

Goddammit, but a drunk Alyx was just too irresistible for his own good.

Crazy as hell, too, but still.

Her eyes locked with his. “Then make me fall in love with you instead?”

Silence, and then Alyx giggled. “That scared you!”

Yes. Nathan only stared stoically at her. Fuck yes. And his shock at her words must have been too obvious that even her alcohol-clouded mind hadn’t any trouble comprehending it.

“There’s no need to be.” She reached for him, saying soothingly, “So don’t be scared, little boy.” She tried patting him on the cheek reassuringly, but her fingers ended up drumming against his mouth instead. “I just want the pain to go away, okay? So you either fuck me or make me fall for you. Either is fine.”

“Alyx---”

Her hands moved up, and then she was cupping his face. “Let me be clear. There’s no need for you to fall for me. Got that?” And releasing him, she said airily, “You can still date other women. Totes fine.” Her hand waved negligently in the air as if to emphasize her words.

When she looked at him as if expecting an answer, Nathan said slowly, “We’ll talk about this when you’re not---”

“No!”

The high-pitched cry surprised him, and Nathan frowned when he saw a look of distress fall on Alyx’s face.

“You don’t understand. You gotta promise now!”

“I can’t. You’re not thinking rationally---”

“And that’s why you gotta promise now!” And now her eyes were shining with tears that threatened to fall any second.

Fuck. “Calm down, sweetheart---”

“I know I’m drunk! Do you think I don’t know?” A hysterical laugh escaped Alyx. “Nathan, I need you to promise me now while I’m still able to ask it.” She moved back and started to sway---

He immediately reached for her. “Steady now.”

“I’m o-okay.” She ended up straddling him. “I’m okay.” Her smile was determined, but the slur in her voice was more pronounced.

No, Nathan thought. You’re not.

“Listen to me, Nathan.” Her tone became a low, confidential whisper.

He nodded.

“I’m going to tell you a secret, and it’s going to change everything.”

When it looked like she needed him to answer, he murmured, “I’m listening.”

“Good.” But she looked like she badly wanted to cry now. “That’s good.”

His expression hardened at the way her voice shook. “Alyx---”

“I fell for my best friend’s hubby,” she blurted out.

Ah.

And she asked in a voice that was just too damn blank, “Do you think I’m an evil slut?”

Ah.

He met her eyes straight on, saying quietly, “What I think is that you’ve always tried so hard to be everyone’s ideal…” And now, it was his turn to lay a hand on her face. “That it took you completely by surprise when you realized you can be as human and fallible as the rest of us.”

Her eyes fell closed.

And then she muttered under her breath, “It’s sickening how you always say the right things---”

He would’ve laughed if he could, but with the tears finally falling, he could only yank her close to him.

Her arms went around his neck, tightening, almost threatening to choke him even as her tears began to soak his shirt.

“And you know,” she choked out, “when not to cop a feel, too.” Her clenched fist struck his back weakly. “So horribly perfect. I hate it.”

A hoarse chuckle escaped him. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ve always been perfect.” Her nails dug hard into his back, and he grinned. It hurt, but he definitely preferred a fighting Alyx to a broken one.

“Your promise.” Her voice was a sleepy mumble. “You haven’t promised yet.”

But then she started to snore, and his shoulders shook.

Nathan pressed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

I promise, sweetheart.

I’ll fill your head with thoughts of me if it’s what eases your pain.