Chapter Five
Abby
Lexi called AJ before we were even finished at the salon and invited her to join us at my place. Apparently, if I was gonna give this whole Internet dating thing a try, I was gonna do it with the help from two of my sisters.
“First things first. We need to settle on which site. Here’s a list of some of the popular ones,” AJ says as she keys in sites into my Internet browser.
The first thing I notice is the sheer quantity of sites she’s pulling up. There’s general dating ones, ones particularly for the wealthy, even sites for finding country boys and cowboys. It’s almost overwhelming right off the bat, and I haven’t even started the process of setting up my profile.
“I’ve already told her we’d use PerfectDate.com,” Lexi tells our older sister.
“That’s a really good one, and from what I’ve found there’s quite a few singles on the site from our area. Not just Jupiter Bay but also Ridgewood and other towns that are within a short drive,” AJ says, inputting that site into the browser next.
“What about this one?” I ask, pointing to one with a catchy name.
“No, you don’t want that site, Abs. That one’s nothing but a bunch of people looking for hookups and sending dick pics,” she says, waving her hand.
“Maybe I want that,” I say shyly, unable to stop the blush.
“Not those kind. The men on there whipping out their dicks aren’t the good ones you actually want to see. Trust me,” she says.
“Why did you bring it up if you aren’t going to let her use it,” Lexi asks, chastising our sister.
“I had a profile on there once, but I was getting hookup requests from just as many women as I was men, so I deactivated my profile.”
“That’s what all of these are? These are ones you’ve tried?” I ask, shocked because, my goodness, there’s a lot of them.
“Not all of them, but some. I kept a list though and would try a new one if I wasn’t getting many results on one of the others.”
“Wow, there’s a lot to this, huh?” Worry suddenly creeps up my spine. Maybe Dad’s right and I shouldn’t do this. There are a lot of crazies out there.
“Don’t get all nervous now, Abs. I won’t let you get into trouble. Dating sites can be perfectly safe and effective at finding your true match,” she says with a smile.
“And how’d that work out for you?” Lexi asks, a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
“Still a work in progress,” AJ mumbles before bringing up the site we agreed to use.
She gets up from my office chair and points. “Sit. First thing we need to do is create your profile. Then, we’ll help you sort through the frogs until you find a prince.”
Turning to face the monitor, I move the cursor until it’s hovering over the words Sign Up. Do I really want to do this? Images of Crystal’s arms and legs wrapped around Levi last night flash through my mind, unwanted and unedited. I’ll never get the picture of the other woman exiting his apartment in the early morning out of my head either. They both keep repeating over and over again, reminding me that I’ll never be what he’s looking for.
I’ll never be who he wants.
So this is the best way for me to squash this little crush I’ve developed on my best friend once and for all. I’ll find someone who enjoys watching cheesy 80’s rom-com movies and eat caramel corn with me, and finally be able to spend time with Levi without the butterflies fluttering in my belly.
Except that Levi likes watching those cheesy movies and the popcorn is always his idea. So maybe I start watching something else. No biggy. I can do this. For my own sanity, I have to try.
I. Can. Do. This.
I create my profile with all of my personal information, as well as my credit card details. Now comes the fun part. Glancing at both of my sisters, they’re anxiously chomping at the bit to jump in and help me write the perfect profile that’ll attract men aged twenty-five to thirty-five in the Jupiter Bay area.
“Profile name,” I say aloud.
“Don’t use your name. Everyone uses nicknames or sexual innuendos like Super69 or BigDaddyDic,” AJ states.
“BigDaddyDic? Why would you want to date someone named that?” I ask.
“Why wouldn’t you?” Lexi retorts with a snort.
I type in the first thing that comes to mind. AngelEyes. I keep my eyes on the monitor and to the next category so that I can’t see the judgment on my sisters’ faces. Occupation? Editor.
“No one uses their real occupation, Abs,” Lexi says.
“You just have to embellish it a bit more. Like a fast food worker might call themselves a culinary expert or a chef extraordinaire.”
“Really? People really lie about their careers?” I ask, flabbergasted at the idea.
“Of course they do! People lie about everything on these things. I mean, I bet sixty percent of the profile pics aren’t even of themselves,” AJ adds.
“Then what’s the point?” I ask. “Why do all of this if the person you’re talking to isn’t even the person you think they are?”
“Listen, Abs, this is great practice for you,” Lexi says. “You want experience at dating and this will get you that.”
“Yes. Your first goal is to set up a profile. Next, we’ll take the quiz, which will help narrow down guys who have the same interests as you. Then, we’ll scan through the guys and see if anyone draws your interest. From there, you strike up conversations,” AJ instructs.
“No talking about romance novels, though,” Lexi adds.
“Right. And Levi. You can’t talk about your male best friend when you’re trying to attract a new male into your life,” AJ says.
So begins the process of setting myself up on a dating site. I answer the questions in the quiz as truthful as possible, even though Tweedledee and Tweedledum are chirping in my ear, trying to make me sound better than I am. The thing they may not realize is that I really am that boring and lame.
After the quiz, PerfectDate.com has matched me up with fourteen potential date candidates. Together, we set out to find out if my future someone is in the mix.
The first two are nixed right away. The first, someone with hair longer than my own. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but it’s just not for me. The second had a culinary expert listed as his occupation, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about him flipping burgers at the local Burger King. Not that it’s not a reputable job, but I keep picturing a thirty-five-year-old man, living at home with his parents, playing video games all day long, and going off to work at the BK every night.
The third guy has potential. Shaggy blond hair that reminds me of the surfer type, with striking blue eyes. His hobbies are completely outdoorsy, and even though that’s not my thing, I can’t get over the fact that I need to start somewhere, right? So, I click the thumbs up beside his profile, which categorizes him for me to make contact with later.
“Oh my God, Abs, look at that one! I think that’s a bong he’s holding in his profile pic,” AJ says, causing Lexi to laugh, while I groan. Drugs definitely are a deal breaker for me.
“Gross,” I grumble, sliding past him. “Wait look at this one.”
“Oh, he screams bad boy. Click him,” Lexi exclaims.
“His ears are pierced. A lot,” I notice.
“It bet he has other things pierced too,” AJ chimes in, her green eyes lighting up with something dirty.
“Hey, don’t knock piercings. Some of them are really…effective,” Lexi adds, her own smirk plastered across her face.
“There’s a story there, I can tell. Spill,” AJ directs.
“Motorcycle boy in high school had a piercing,” Lexi whispers before breaking out into a giggle fit.
“Really?” I ask, completely curious now about the whole piercing thing. I mean, is his, you know, pierced? A nipple? Why am I blushing? Why do I find that thought completely hot?
“Oh, yeah. They’re…nice,” Lexi adds with a wink.
A gasp mixed with a laugh is muffled from somewhere off to the side. I glance up and see Levi standing in the doorway. “What are you ladies doing?” he asks, walking into the room. I forgot he was coming over for dinner tonight, but mostly I feel slightly guilty for looking at guys right now. And that’s just plain silly, right? I have nothing to feel guilty for.
“Internet dating!” AJ exclaims, happily.
“You’re gonna try that crap? I would have thought you wouldn’t waste your time and energy on that bullshit, AJ,” he says, stepping up behind me. I can practically feel the heat radiating from his muscular body.
“Not me, big guy,” AJ teases with a knowing smile. “Abby.”
I swear he chokes on the very air he breathes.
“Abby?” he asks, glancing down at me with hard eyes. “You can’t do that,” he says automatically.
“Why not?” I ask, defensively.
“Because…well, you’re…it’s not safe.”
“I’m not meeting up with all of these guys, Levi. There’s no reason for you to freak out and go all big brother protective,” I tell him.
“Besides, when the time comes for her to meet up with these guys, we’ll make sure she’s in a public place and that one of us always knows where she is,” AJ reasons.
“Guys? As in more than one?” he asks, glancing down at me again. There’s something strange in his features today. He looks scared or worried, twisted with hurt and rage. But he’s doing his best to camouflage it with curiosity.
“Of course, more than one. You always start with many and weed them out until you find that one perfect date,” Lexi adds.
“That’s the name of the site. PerfectDate.com,” I tell him. “It’ll be good for me to meet new people. Lord knows I don’t meet anyone working from home every day.”
“Why do you need to meet new people? You have your sisters. And me,” he says, seeming completely at a loss, which just makes me feel weird and uncomfortable. I didn’t expect him to turn into my dad at the thought of me trying Internet dating.
“Exactly, Levi. I have my sisters and you. I can’t date any of you,” I remind him.
“Or have sex with any of us,” Lexi mumbles to AJ.
“And Abs needs to have the sex, Levi,” AJ adds loudly, causing a whole new level of mortification to set in.
“Let’s not talk about that,” I beg before turning my attention back to the monitor.
Ignoring all conversation around me, because really, who needs to listen to her sisters and male friend talk about her sex life, or lack thereof, I finish flipping through the matches the website gave me. At the end, I have five prospective matches to work with.
I’m already exhausted by the time I return to my own profile, that I really want to just shut down the computer and dig into the greasy, messy chicken wings that I can smell in the kitchen.
“Oh, look, Abs! You have your first message,” AJ notices, pointing to the little envelope icon that shows the number one over the top, indicating that I have a message.
“I can look at it later,” I suggest, ready to power down.
“No way. I want to see who it is,” Lexi says, and I swear I hear Levi grumble behind me. When I glance his way, though, he’s as cool and calm as ever.
“Fine.” Clicking on the icon, the message pops up. It’s from GraveDigger413, one of the cuter guys I saved. His message pops up on the screen, and I can feel my sisters leaning in on both sides of me to read over my shoulder.
Hey, AngelEyes. Noticed your profile pic first but then my attention was pulled to the fact that you love to binge watch 80’s rom-coms. Me too. Would love to chat more with you.
Levi snorts over my head, clearly reading along with everyone else in the room. “What the fuck ever. He’s only saying that shit to get in your pants.”
“Excuse me?” I ask, turning to face him. My agitation with him is reaching an all-new record high. “So, what’s he bullshitting me about? The fact that he noticed my profile pic, or the fact that he likes the same movies as I do? Because I’m pretty sure you like watching those kinda movies with me too. So if he’s lying, then are you?” I ask, standing up and crossing my arms.
“Burn!” Lexi yells, causing AJ to bust up laughing.
“I’m not lying, I do enjoy them.”
“So it must be the fact that he thought I was attractive? What, because I’m not a model, then I’m not attractive?” I can’t stop talking. Why can’t I stop?
“That’s not what I meant. You’re putting words in my mouth,” he defends, but it falls on deaf ears.
“You know what? I’m putting myself out there for the first time in my entire life, and I could really use your support right now. If you can’t handle that, then you should just go.”
“You want me to go?” Hurt reflects in his hazel eyes, which look greener today than ever before.
“If that’s what you want.” Crossing my arms again, we stare at each other in a silent standoff.
“This is like foreplay,” AJ whispers to Lexi.
“I wish I had popcorn,” she replies quietly, but of course, I hear both statements.
Levi turns towards the door. “I’ll be back.”
“You’re leaving?” I panic, my words rushed. Did I really piss him off that much with this whole dating site thing?
He stops at the doorway and turns back to face me. Ignoring my sisters, he keeps his eyes trained only on me. “I forgot something at my place. I’ll be right back, I promise.” He throws me a quick grin before walking out of the room. I hear the sound of my door closing a few moments later and finally exhale the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“That was kinda hot,” AJ mumbles.
“Stop it. We’re friends. We still fight and argue, just like we all do.”
“That was like sexual tension at its finest,” Lexi smirks.
“Agreed.”
I glare at AJ.
“Whatever. Anyway, it’s time for you both to go. I’m gonna get ready for dinner and then it’s a big night of watching television and eating chocolate chip cookies,” I say, leaving my office and hoping they both follow.
When I reach the living room, both sisters hot on my heels, I turn and face them.
“Promise me you’ll communicate with some of those guys. You don’t have to meet up with them right away, but just talk. You know, get to know them,” Lexi says.
“Fine. I’ll check my profile for contacts again before I go to bed.”
“Good,” AJ says before leaning in and giving me a tight hug. As soon as she pulls back, I’m engulfed in another equally big embrace from my twin.
“Call me tomorrow and let me know how it’s going,” she instructs.
“Yes, we’ll expect daily updates,” AJ adds.
“Daily? Can’t I just text when something actually happens?” I ask.
“That too, but for now, I want to know how it’s going every day,” AJ replies.
Conceding, I finally say, “Fine.”
A few minutes later, my sisters are gone and I’m left alone in my apartment. All around me I see traces of Levi, from the slow cooker of yummy chicken wings on the counter to the fresh tray of my favorite cookies on the table. Since he’s being a butt, I go ahead and help myself to a cookie. Taking a big bite, I groan out load, the warm gooey chocolate melting over my tongue. This man is deadly in the kitchen.
Walking over to my television, I find the movie I’ve been thinking about watching tonight. It might not be an 80’s movie, but it’s still one of my favorites. Levi’s not a fan, but since he’s on my shit list today, he no longer gets a say. Tonight, after we eat, we’ll devour cookies and watch 10 Things I Hate About You.
Oh, Heath Ledger. I miss you.
I pop the movie in the DVD player and cue it up, ready to go. Then I make my way back into the kitchen and get ready for dinner. I can’t help but wonder if this whole dating thing is really a good idea or not. I guess it’s worth a try, right? I mean, if it doesn’t go well, I could close my profile and walk away. I’m not out anything but a fifteen-dollar per month service fee. I want to try it, but don’t want it to cause problems between us. He’ll either learn to deal with it or he won’t.
Right?
Right. My decision made, my resolve set, I make sure the wings and taco dip are on the table with plates and napkins. There’s no need for silverware because one of the joys of wings is eating them with your fingers and then licking them clean afterwards. I grab two beers from my fridge and place them on the table with the food. Glancing down, I realize I’m all set.
Now, where the heck is Levi?