Chapter 32

PRESENT DAY

 

I can’t stop smiling.

Noah had to make a run to the store after we get back, but before he left, he kissed me so deeply that my knees almost gave out from under me. I missed kissing Noah all those years. Nothing has ever been able to match it.

And now I’m lying in bed, thinking about him. I can still feel his large, warm hands over my body. I can still taste his lips on mine. Like I said, I can’t stop smiling.

My post-coital bliss is interrupted by the sound of my phone buzzing next to me. I roll my head to see who’s calling. It’s Theo.

The last person I want to talk to right now.

I consider letting it go to voicemail. After what he did last night, I never want to speak to that asshole ever again. But unfortunately, Theo isn’t some creep I met in a bar last night. Theo is the father of my daughter. Like it or not, he’s a part of my life. For Lily’s sake, I need to remain on decent terms with him.

That means if he’s calling from jail because he got pulled over for a DUI, I probably need to go bail him out.

I pick up the phone, bracing myself for an angry outburst. I’m relieved when Theo’s voice on the other line is subdued. Almost contrite. “Hey, Bailey.”

“Hello,” I say.

He’s silent for a moment on the other line. “I’m sorry about last night,” he finally says. “I was drunk.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

“You know that’s not me,” he says. It’s true to some extent—Theo’s never manhandled me before. But he’s certainly gotten drunk and done stupid things in the past. It’s his kind of his thing. “You know I wouldn’t have… I mean, I’m sorry I grabbed you like that.”

I take a deep breath. I’m not sure what Theo would have done if Noah wasn’t there to protect me. I’d like to think it would have been fine. But I don’t know for sure. “It’s all right. Just don’t ever do it again.”

“And I’m sorry I tried to beat up that guy in the wheelchair,” he says. “That was… I mean, I’m really embarrassed about that.”

I almost laugh. Tried to beat up that guy in the wheelchair. Ha. If he’s embarrassed, it’s because Noah kicked his ass. “I’ll tell him.”

There’s a long silence on the other end. I’m hoping that means our conversation is over, and I can go back to thinking about when Noah was touching me. And fantasizing about what he might do to me tonight.

“But, listen…” Theo breaks the silence. “I might have been drunk, but I meant a lot of what I said last night. I know I screwed things up with you, Bailey. I regret that every day of my life.”

I snort. “You’re only saying that because you thought I was with another guy last night.”

“Maybe you’re right,” he admits. “But maybe it took thinking you were with someone else to open my eyes. You’re the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I just threw it away.”

I don’t know what to say to that. Yeah, you did. But the time for bitterness is over. It was never going to work out with me and Theo. He wasn’t ready to be faithful, and I realize now that I had never gotten over Noah.

“Bailey,” he says softly. “I’ve had a chance to do a lot of thinking lately and… I really think we should give it another try. You and me. You know?”

I suck in a breath. Theo has said things like this many times before, but he’s never sounded quite so serious. Something has changed. Maybe it’s the fact that Theo is getting close to forty or maybe it was seeing me with Noah last night, but he sounds like he really means it this time.

“Theo, I just don’t think—”

“Hear me out first.”

I bite my lip to keep from telling him there’s no point. “Fine.”

“I know I was a crappy husband and a crappy father,” he says. “I know I cheated on you and I haven’t been there for Lily. But when I saw you last night, I just… I realized how much I love you. That’s why I went so crazy. I love you, Bailey. And I want us to be a family again. You, me, and Lily.”

I’m shaking my head, even though he can’t see it.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he says. “You’re thinking I haven’t changed. But I swear to you, I have. I won’t mess around on you this time. I swear it.”

Theo, me, and Lily. A family. That’s what we were once. I was never confident things would work out with Theo—he was always my rebound guy from Noah—but I wanted to give it the best possible try for Lily’s sake. But from the start, Theo never took our marriage vows seriously. He never took fatherhood seriously.

But maybe he’s finally grown up. Do I owe it to Lily to give her biological father another chance?

I hear the door to the cabin opening. It’s Noah. He’s back. I can hear him whistling in the kitchen. I forgot how he always used to whistle when he was in a really good mood.

Theo’s voice comes to me on the other line: “Bailey?”

“No, Theo,” I hear myself saying. “I’m sorry. It’s too late.”

“Bailey.” His voice breaks on my name and I feel a twinge of guilt. “You can’t even give us one last try? For Lily’s sake? Doesn’t she deserve that?”

For Lily’s sake.

I don’t say what I’m thinking, which is that Noah has been a better father figure to Lily in the last week than Theo has managed in six years. Above all, Lily deserves a mother who’s happy. And there’s only one man I know who can make me truly happy.

“I’m sorry,” I say again.

Theo is quiet for several moments. “It’s that guy from last night, isn’t it?”

I swallow hard. I didn’t want to mention Noah, because I didn’t want to set off Theo’s temper. But he’s right. If Noah hadn’t come back into my life, there’s a chance I might have been persuaded to give our relationship another shot. Just another reason I’m grateful to Noah.

“I could see the way you were looking at him,” he says. “It was really obvious.”

“Oh,” is all I can say. There’s no point in denying it.

I brace myself for Theo to start another jealous rant, but he doesn’t. Maybe he really has matured. But even if that’s the case, it’s far too late.

“I blew it,” he concedes. “And I’ll always have to live with that. But… I’m going to try to do better for you and Lily from now on, okay?”

I do my best to keep from snorting again. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” he says, “I’m going to go out and get a real job. The band isn’t happening. Me and the guys… we had a talk the other day and decided to go our separate ways.”

I actually gasp. “You broke up? Seriously?”

“Yep.” He lets out a little chuckle. “It’s been long enough, right? I’m going to hit the job ads on Monday. Figure out a way to get back on track with the child support payments again.”

I grip the phone in my hand. He’s trying. He’s really trying this time.

“Hey, Bailey!” It’s Noah’s voice coming down the hall to my room. “I bought some snorkels for us if you want to try it out tomorrow. I got one for Lily too. We don’t have to go deep or anything, but I thought it would be fun if—”

Noah’s face appears at my bedroom door, but he stops talking abruptly when he realizes I’m already on the phone, a smile frozen on his lips. I wonder if he realizes who I’m talking to. I have a feeling from the look on his face that he’s got some idea.

“That would be great,” I say into the phone. “Really great. It would help us a lot.”

“I know,” Theo sighs. “I’m just… I’m sorry I screwed up on… us. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

Noah blinks a few times, giving me a questioning look like he’s not sure if he should leave or not. I gesture at him, indicating he should stay. He sits on the edge of my bed, an uneasy look on his face.

“Listen, Theo,” I say quietly. “I have to go, but… we’ll talk more later, okay?”

At the sound of Theo’s name, Noah’s eyes widen.

“Okay, Bailey,” he says. “Have a good time on your trip.”

I hang up the phone, feeling a rush of relief. That was the best phone conversation I’ve had with Theo in ages. He didn’t get pissed off at me. There was no yelling or accusations. And he promised to start giving us child support. I hope this is the start of a better life for me and Lily, although I’m not holding my breath.

Noah raises an eyebrow. “So… that was Theo?”

I nod.

“What did he want?” He laughs, but it comes out strangled. “To get back together?”

I nod again. “He wanted a fresh start.”

“Jesus.” He rakes a hand through his short, dark blond hair. “He’s persistent, isn’t he? So, um, what did you say?”

I slug Noah gently in the arm. “What do you think I said?”

“I think,” Noah says quietly, “that the guy is an asshole. But he’s also Lily’s father, and I wouldn’t entirely blame you if…” His blue eyes meet mine. “I mean, it’s not like we’ve been back together for months. It’s only been a day. We don’t know if you and I…”

Except I know. I’ve known Noah Walsh since I was eighteen years old, and he’s the most decent man I know.

And he’s also the sexiest.

“I don’t want to be with Theo,” I say as I run my hand up his shoulder. “I want you. I want to go snorkeling with you. And fishing, even though it’s super boring.”

Noah laughs. “Stop it. You know you love fishing.”

“Um, fishing is objectively boring,” I say. Noah clutches his chest in mock hurt. “But I have to say, I love fishing with you.”

“I’m glad.” He leans in closer to me, his lips nearly touching mine. “Because I love fishing with you too, Bailey.”

And then he kisses me.

God, I can’t wait to go fishing with him again.