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No Excuses by Nikky Kaye (13)

Maddie

I tried not to laugh at the pained, offended look on Gage’s face as we returned to our suite. Yeah, I knew that what I did was stupid, but it was spontaneous. Really, he’d brought it on himself for trying to manipulate me.

He wanted me to commit to the exercise, right? Well, I committed.

He threw a glare over his shoulder at me when we arrived at our door, and he reached in his pocket for his keycard. I blinked at him, oh so innocently, and then did stupid thing number two.

“So, how do you think the staff retreat went?” I asked.

He shoved open the door. Only a few steps after I followed him in, he spun me around and hauled me up against the closing door.

With his thigh wedged between my legs and his nose nudging mine, he flattened his hands around my skull above my ears. I was held completely still by the strength of his body and his gaze. Oh shit. Maybe I had gone too far in teasing him.

“Too soon?” I offered him a timid smile.

His response was to lower his mouth to mine, consuming me in a toe-curling kiss. When he thrust against me, boosting me up so I was off-balance and riding his leg, it was possible that my toes really did curl.

“Tell me, Madeline, when my assertiveness becomes aggression.”

He slanted his mouth forcefully over mine until my teeth bit into my lips, and then he licked any soreness away with surprising tenderness. The pressure he was putting on my aching core made me dizzy, and far too close to actually coming for my comfort.

That silly primal scream seemed to bring out the primitive in us, for sure. With a kiss he swallowed his own name as I tried to cry it out, and I clung to his shoulders for security.

The passion in his kiss was almost frighteningly fierce. I’d shown my trust in him the night before, but he still unnerved me at every turn. Was I crazy for thinking about getting involved with this man? Even if he wasn’t my boss, he was, well, bossy. But I couldn’t help the shiver that ran up the back of my knees at the thought of him commanding me to come, and how helpless I was against his dominance.

In every way, this was a bad idea. I was his assistant. I was nearly ten years younger than him. I flew by the seat of my pants while he probably organized his sock drawer. He was rich and I was, well, not. If this was a smutty book he’d be pulling out a contract and introducing me to his playroom.

Yeah, right. I was a recent college graduate too, and even I knew better than to sign anything like that without a lawyer. Then again, that chick also managed to get through college without a computer—which made the book fantasy, not fiction.

The twirling sensation in the pit of my stomach wove through my spine like a needle and thread. His hands moved from my head to under my arms and clamped on the back of my neck like a collar. I tried to wrench my head back to catch my breath, but I was flat against the door. I jerked my head to the right, and his lips landed on my ear.

“Gage, stop! Red light! Red light!

Like a switch had been flipped, he lowered me to the floor gently and released me. I missed his arms around me, but savored the breathing room. My heart thumped like a lab rat at the sight of a white coat, and slowly my feet recognized the floor underneath them. Brian Gage didn’t need to do much to unsettle me—or make me his fucking slave.

It should have scared me how ready I was to throw my inhibitions out, to let him do anything and everything to me. Like I’d told him, I’d try anything once. Well, except autoerotic asphyxiation. I wasn’t too crazy about that idea. I rubbed at my throat, still feeling his touch there.

He stumbled back until he hit the couch, breathing heavily. His gaze was square on my trembling lips, and he swiped the back of his hand over his own.

“Jesus, Madeline. What you do to me…” He shook his head, at a loss for words. Me? What I did to him?

“Ditto.” I glanced over to my bedroom. “Uh, we should pack. Are we heading home soon?”

He’d insisted that I ride with him. At the time, the idea made me nervous. Now it excited me—and made me nervous. Oh god. Four hours in the car with him—alone, in that fucking sexy car. Maybe I should try to get a ride with Susan, I thought to myself.

He exhaled heavily then stood straight and tall, calm and collected—if not totally cool. His mouth twisted as he glanced down at the noticeable bulge at the front of his slacks.

“Yes, go ahead and pack up. We’ll have a quick roundtable discussion downstairs with lunch.” As I stepped toward my room, he said, “Don’t worry about packing for me.”

“I wasn’t going to! You can handle your own dirty underwear, sir.”

When I looked back he was trying to discreetly adjust himself, muttering something about his dirty underwear that I didn’t quite catch—and wasn’t about to investigate. Something told me I’d already pushed my luck enough today poking the bear.

I closed the bedroom door just as he looked up at me. I’d never seen that expression on his face before—confused, almost bereft, and downright voracious. He looked like a starving man in front of a steak dinner, but finding it behind glass.

Well, I thought as I stuffed my own soiled panties into the front pocket of my suitcase, glass wasn’t that hard to break. You just had to be careful not to get all sliced up in the process.

A second, completely unnecessary hot shower and an hour later, I rolled my bag down to the lobby. Bobbie waggled her fingers at me and, unlike upon arrival, this time I smiled at her easily across the front desk.

“It was so nice to meet you!” she gushed.

I shook her hand with genuine pleasure. We’d gotten along the night before like the proverbial house on fire, at least before I returned to the hotel and her big brother practically set me on fire. The way she grinned reminded me of Gage, and the memory of his talented lips made me blush.

“I’ll be coming to town more often on my off weekends to, uh, get out and see stuff,” she said, her own cheeks darkening.

“You mean see Aaron and get off,” I needled her. Two glasses of red wine the night before and we had turned into over-sharing goofballs. Thankfully I didn’t have much to over-share… then. Now I would have to watch myself around her a little. She was a few years older than me but I saw the potential for a friendship, which pleased me. It also made me nervous, as it was one more way to be entangled in Gage’s life.

“You have a wicked swing.” She laughed and mimicked my stance with the foam bat. “You want to take it back to the office with you?”

A snort escaped me. “Yeah, I don’t see that going over well. What was it like growing up with him?” I had a hard time imagining him as a kid. A brooding emo adolescent, maybe, but not as a small child.

“When I was about twelve I called him Keyser Söze for almost a whole year.” I burst out laughing at her reference to a mysterious fictional titan of tyranny. She spread her hands out on the desk. “No, I’m serious. It drove him up the wall.”

“I’ll bet.” We exchanged numbers, and she promised she’d call me for coffee when she was next in town. I wouldn’t expect it and I wouldn’t hold her to it; but, as I wheeled my suitcase over to the conference center, I realized that I hoped she’d be in touch.

I was the last one to arrive, missing lunch, since my bathroom indulgence made me later than I’d planned. Hovering at the back, I tried to ignore Gage’s long pause and X-ray vision.

“As I was saying, since we’re all here now

My eyes rolled up so fast I almost got vertigo. Seriously? If he didn’t want me to take a second shower, he shouldn’t have gotten me so… dirty.

“It’s been pointed out to me,” Gage continued, “that a group assessment of this weekend is not the most expedient idea. What I will do, then, is compile a list of questions about the retreat and your experiences here, then distribute it to you at the office. You are free to print out your answers instead of email, if you want to stay anonymous.”

Thank god, I thought. Despite the fact I would probably end up in charge of this, at least Gage was starting to understand that keeping the staff happy meant not putting them on the spot all the time and expecting spotlessness. There were a few people who refused to make eye contact with him as he glanced around the room.

“If you have any further suggestions on how to improve our productivity and creativity, I’m open to hearing them. Each one of you is valuable to this company, but together we are worth a fortune.”

Not bad. He looked to me for help with a big finish, to which I shrugged. I was better at bullshitting onto a keyboard, not verbally. Well, okay, maybe a little.

Gage cleared his throat and stepped forward, trying to look casual as he leaned against a table. “In any case, thank you for coming this weekend,” he said in a surprisingly humble tone. “I know that you all have other things you’d rather be doing.” Again he looked over at me, but again I was helpless—and blushing at the knowledge that he would probably rather be doing me this weekend. “I appreciate your commitment.”

The room was silent.

“And you have tomorrow off,” he added.

The room was no longer silent. There were a few tepid cheers, but only Aaron had the balls to clap the boss on the back in thanks. As the room emptied and Gage’s lips pressed together in a flat line, I felt a little sad.

If he just relaxed a little, he’d probably get to know his staff better, and they’d work harder for him. All for one and one for all, that kind of thing. Right now Gage’s benevolent dictatorship was limiting his reach and ability to connect with his team—and me, if I was honest.

My attraction to my boss had been physical at first, and who could blame me? Week by week, I’d started to fall for his intelligence and dry humor as well. He had high expectations, but that was because he actually thought the best of people’s abilities to achieve them. He had a lot of confidence in us, in me—way more than I did. That’s why I felt so rotten when I disappointed him.

While shrugging his coat on, he walked over to where I leaned against the wall. When he looked at me, I didn’t see the fire that I’d grown accustomed to that weekend, only a kind of defeated look. It broke my heart.

Brian Gage had so much to give, if only he’d stop taking.

With only the two of us left in the room, I slipped my hand into his. Susan had already left, but I’d resigned myself to the prospect of driving home with Gage anyhow. He glanced out the open doorway to the empty hall, then bent down to kiss me.

“Thanks,” he murmured against my lips.

“No problem, sir.”

The way our lips curved against each other in smiles felt strange, but not bad, like kissing with braces.

He sighed then gallantly grabbed my suitcase. “Shall we?”

It was more than just the question of hitting the road. Invested in it were also the questions of “Can we date now? Do you want to try to be together? Do you want me like I want you? Can we manage to be boss and employee and lovers at the same time, without fucking everything up?” It was a lot to take in with two little words.

Why did the shortest statements always seem to hold the heaviest meaning?

Gage flinched in surprise as I stood on my tippy toes and kissed his cheek. I reveled in the feel of his coal-black scruff against my tender lips, since he hadn’t shaved that morning.

With his leather bomber jacket on and the shadow on his jaw, he looked like an ordinary man—a ridiculously handsome, virile, driven, intense ordinary man. I had my suspicions that he was, in fact, extraordinary. And I couldn’t wait to find out.

After a quick goodbye to Bobbie and thanks to her staff, we made our way out to his sexy, low-slung car. As we pulled away from the lodge and headed to the curvy ribbon of road going down the mountain he visibly relaxed, sinking into the leather seat with a sigh.

“Mister Gage, have you ever had road head?”

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