He lowered his head to mine, kissing me sweetly at first. His lips were soft against mine, but when they parted a little I could taste the rich wine we’d had. When I whimpered a little, needing more, he deepened the kiss until I felt like I’d drunk the whole bottle myself.

My arms went around him, my hands almost clawing at his back through his shirt. Kissing Gage was quickly becoming my favorite pastime. His mouth slanted over mine, drawing out the deepest, darkest response from me. He dragged desire out of me that I didn’t know I had in me. My hands went to his head, his silky hair between my fingers and his jaw clenching under the heels of my hands.

“Gage, I need you.”

“Oh god, I need you too.”

I looked in his eyes and saw him struggling to reconcile the pressure of his passion with his need for control. I kissed him tenderly then nipped his bottom lip to surprise him. He moaned, his pupils dilating with arousal.

“Let go for me,” I begged him. “I want all of you, not just the parts that you think are appropriate or safe. I want you to let go of all that self-restraint and give me everything. You want everything from me? Well then, you have to give it up too.”

He looked thoughtful, even a little frightened at the idea of losing his grip on the reins. “You want my best and my worst,” he mused.

For better or worse, in sickness and in health… I couldn’t ignore the familiar words that his own triggered in my head. Even the fleeting idea of commitment like that should have scared me, but there, in his arms, the fire spitting behind us, I felt safer than I had since my Gotcha Day.

“Well, maybe not your worst,” I warned him. “You can be a bit of an, uh…”

“Asshole?”

“I was going to say know-it-all, but that works too.”

He slowly licked up the side of my neck like I was an ice cream cone, making me hitch a breath in my straining lungs. “Are you sure you want my best?” he whispered.

“I want you—the real you, the scary, ugly you. Not the CEO or the optimized iteration.” I couldn’t help scoffing at the jargon he sometimes dictated.

“I’m trying to communicate plainly with you here, so strip all that crap away and gimme gimme gimme. I’m not saying I have to be on top or anything.” My face heated at his raised eyebrow. Maybe his words of confidence and trust had seeped into me. “Or that I want to be in charge, but I want to be on the same level.”

Slowly he nodded. “That seems… fair.”

Despite my bold words, I was trembling with nerves as well as lust. I’d never asked so much of him before. And if I were being honest, I was a little afraid of getting it. But I was putting myself out there, climbing that pole and leaping. The least he could do was jump as well.

“Forget ‘fair’, Gage. You’re measuring, analyzing again. Just feel me.”

His hands roamed over me, his gaze following closely behind. His knuckles nudged the curves at the bottom of my breasts and pressed gently to feel the bumps of my ribcage. He tugged my blouse out of the waistband of my skirt so he could slide his hands across my warm, tingling skin.

“Ahhhh!” A gasp escaped me as I reminded myself to let go as well.

With surprising grace, he rolled me to the floor in front of the fireplace and undid the buttons on my blouse. I pulled it off while he took off his own shirt, and my hands went to the fastening on my skirt. Gage bent over to slide my skirt down my legs. He tossed it on the couch while he slowly undid his pants.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his hands paused at his waist.

My answer was to wriggle out of my bra and panties and lie there, letting the heat from both his gaze and the fire lick my naked body.

With a pained grunt, he shoved his jeans and briefs down and kicked them off. He stood above me, his erection in his hand. He was strong, lithe, and all man. Idly he stroked himself, watching me watch him. Inside I was loosening, lengthening in anticipation of him, my body reacting in pure, primal ways.

I stretched out my arms and spread my legs, beckoning him. “No games, no expectations. Just us.”

His hand moved over his cock as he bit his lower lip. “What about—”

“Just us. I trust you, Gage.” Did he have any idea what that meant to me? It was not something I doled out lightly.

He knelt before me, his shaft bobbing between us. Despite being on display for him, his gaze was completely focused on my face. The crown of my head was hot from the fire, but the way he looked at me made me shiver.

With a tentative touch, he tested my readiness. The second he touched me I wanted to yelp and moan. But I forced myself to be still and quiet, to let him feel me. He bent over me, the hot, hard tip of his cock nudging at my entrance. He offered each of my nipples a soft, wet kiss then rested his ear on my left breast.

“I can hear your heart,” he said quietly, his head rising and falling with each breath I took.

“I’m impressed you slowed down long enough to listen.”

He lifted his head to look at me. Other than a faint line across his forehead, his face was smooth, washed clean of worry or fierce ambition. “Jesus, Maddie. You will be the death of me.”

“No.” I smiled. “I will be the life of you. I promise. But I have health insurance through work, just in case. Now fuck me.”

He let out a sharp laugh then sighed, averting his eyes. “No, Madeline. I’m not going to fuck you.”

I stilled in shock and shame. Oh god. This is why I shouldn’t commit. It was too risky, too easy to look foolish and vulnerable and oh my god why did I—

“I want to make love to you,” he said, interrupting my inner tailspin.

My heart stretched like an overinflated balloon, threatening to pop.

A cracked noise burst from my throat as I reached for him. With determined deliberation, he lined himself up at my entrance before cocking an eyebrow at me. I nodded, swallowing hard. My hips tilted in anticipation.

He entered me slowly—too slowly—getting about halfway inside when I groaned. Already I felt full, my whole body swollen with my need for him. Then he stopped.

“Please, Gage. I need all of you,” I repeated.

His forehead, neck and chest were getting damp from heat and the strain of subduing his desire for domination.

“Meet me in the middle,” he demanded in a hoarse voice.

So I ran my hands over the muscles of his shoulders and back, down to the flexing perfection of his ass. Clutching him and with my legs wound around his thighs, I enveloped him. We both exhaled as he bottomed out inside me. I’d never felt so close to anyone, had never even wanted to. It was intimate and genuine and terrifying.

“God, Madeline. You take my breath away.” He rested his forehead on mine. His breath was hot on my face, caressing my lips like a ghostly kiss.

I felt the same way. Then again, he was lying on top of me and probably outweighed me by at least sixty pounds.

We began rocking together slowly, instinctively knowing to work together as a team. Maybe we were finally mastering effective interpersonal communication. Every stroke he made, I rose to meet. Every time my lips met his skin, we branded each other.

“Fuck, you feel amazing,” he grunted harshly as he slid home inside me.

“I know, I know!” A familiar tension was building in me, making me want to cling to him so it didn’t slip away. He kissed me, his tongue darting into my mouth with every drive of his hard body against mine. It still wasn’t enough.

He thrust again and again, making my head tilt back in dizzy rapture. “Oh my god, I feel like you’re touching my heart from the inside!”

“Madeline, I’m so close,” he ground out in warning. The lines around his mouth and eyes tightened.

I ran my hands up and down his back, memorizing the line of his spine. “It’s okay. Let go. I’m there too,” I panted. My climax was bubbling deep within me, promising to burst up and flood me.

Then it did, spilling forth and drowning me with pleasure. “Gage, oh so good!”

He arched back a little, the tanned line of his neck taut. A harsh shout burst from his mouth, and when he looked down at me it was with a shocked expression. He’d truly lost control with me.

“Take me, Maddie. Take it all.” His blue eyes were wide and wild. He tried to hold the rest of his body straight and strong, but his hips jerked against me helplessly, as though disconnected from his brain.

Watching him ride out the orgasm that I gave him was the hottest, heaviest thing I’d ever seen.

“Holy shit,” he breathed, collapsing on me. He burrowed his burning face into my neck, his body trembling as he tried to regain control of his senses.

I fondled the smooth dark hair at the back of his head, my own body still pulsing as it tried to keep him inside. It took me a moment of feeling his weight on me to recognize all the emotions competing for attention in me—I’d spent so many years trying to push them down.

I felt sated, relieved, happy, shy, and safe. Mostly I was proud—but for him. I was so happy that he could feel the joy of being spontaneous, of letting go of his expectations and fears and just living in the moment, in me. My eyes burned and watered at the wave of emotion that came over me. Gage had really given himself to me, and it was the most valuable gift he could ever bestow.

With a reluctant groan, he rolled off me but still pulled me with him so we were lying on our sides facing each other. The heat of the fire was probably singing my hair, but I didn’t care. He trailed his hand over the curve of my shoulder, the dip of my waist and the swell of my hip, with rapt focus and reverence.

“Yours,” I whispered.

“All mine?”

I pressed my hand to his heart, feeling it beat under his hot skin. “All mine.” Then I gathered my courage to do what I had to do. “Gage?”

“Hmmm?” He was completely distracted by my skin in the firelight.

“I quit.”