Not Through Loving You by Patricia Preston (7)

“Daddy’s proud of you.” Aaron stood beside John’s incubator in the NICU pod. With the access panel open, he changed the baby’s diaper. He had removed the nasogastric tube and replaced the oxygen hood with a nasal cannula. “You’re nearly four pounds now, and your white blood count has improved. Lungs sound good, too. I think you’ve turned the corner, buddy.”

He smiled at the wide-eyed baby, who watched him with interest. Aaron was pleased that John was an alert baby. “You won’t be in this contraption much longer. In a couple of days, if all goes well, you’ll be a grower, and we’ll move you to an open bed for a while. Get a little more fat on you, and then Daddy will take you home.”

John grasped Aaron’s pinkie finger.

“Are you excited about that? I’m excited about that.” Aaron smiled as he withdrew his hand and closed the side panel. He discarded his exam gloves and turned to see Helen heading his way. She carried a bright orange medical bag.

“The helicopter’s ready,” she said as she handed him the bag.

“Thanks.” He hung the strap over his shoulder. “I listed Baby John’s aunt as an approved visitor in his chart. I told her she could start visiting him in the afternoons around two.” He took Helen aside. “Make sure she’s feels comfortable in the nursery.”

“Sure, Doc.” Helen gave him and the baby in the incubator a worried glance. “She’s not going to be a problem for you, is she?”

“No.” Aaron glanced at John again. “No, she’s not going to be a problem.”

Famous last words, Aaron thought as he ran across the helipad and accepted a flight helmet from one of the air ambulance crew members. He settled inside the helicopter, riding beside an infant transport incubator that held a newborn baby girl.

Baby Girl Whitten had become cyanotic with diminished pulses in her feet. Aaron had diagnosed her as having hypoplastic left heart syndrome. The left side of her heart was underdeveloped and not pumping oxygenated blood to her body. The condition required heart surgery; a team of neonatal cardiac surgeons at the St. Louis Children’s Hospital would take over her care when they landed.

“Hang in there, sweetie,” he told the baby as the helicopter lifted off and headed west.

Aaron flexed his neck. His back muscles hurt, and he knew exactly why. It was that crappy mattress in the spare bedroom upstairs, the one he had slept on last night after he had given Lia the master bedroom downstairs.

“Aaron, this is your room. I’m not taking your room,” Lia had protested when he ushered her into the master bedroom and she had seen the bookcases on either side of the stone fireplace that held personal mementos—trophies, awards, autographed sports memorabilia, and family photographs. She had seemed particularly disconcerted by a framed professional photograph that Brett’s wife, Natalie, had taken of a rainbow over a waterfall on Kauai.

“I can stay upstairs with Stevie and Dad. End of discussion.” He had listened to her objections all the way to the hotel and back. She had insisted she could stay at a different hotel. He wouldn’t agree to that. There wasn’t another upscale hotel with security like the Lansdale in town, and he had decided it would be safer for her to stay at his house. He would not relent.

He gathered a few of his belongings and took them upstairs to the spare bedroom that contained an old twin bed and dresser that had come from his parents’ home. He knew he would miss his king-size bed, which had a superb mattress on it. You do what you have to do.

“Aaron.” Frank had appeared in the doorway. “Got a minute?”

Sitting on the bed, Aaron took off his shoes. “Sure.” He knew his father was about to lay some fatherly advice on him regarding Lia. “Listen, you don’t need to be worried about me. When it comes to Lia, I’m not stupid. Everything I’m doing, I’m doing for John Aaron, and I have no choice but to try to placate his aunt until the adoption is final.

“I wish she weren’t in the picture, but she is. So I’ve got to keep things smooth.” He glided his hand in the air. “That’s all. For a couple of weeks. I promise you I’m not going to fall for her. She’s in a relationship.” In her hotel room, Aaron had noticed the wallpaper on her laptop screen was a publicity photograph of her and Dallas. Nothing like a good dose of reality to piss you off for the rest of the night.

“Don’t think I didn’t learn my lesson with Molly. Lia has a man in her life, and that’s fine because I don’t want to be in her life. I’m not even her type. I don’t have a cowboy hat and boots. I’m not Cole Younger.”

Frank’s brows shot up. “Cole Younger?”

“Or Woodrow Call.”

“From Lonesome Dove?” Frank smiled. “Best Western ever.”

“You and Lia would be a perfect match,” Aaron grumbled as he stripped off his clothes.

“It sounds like to me you’ve got everything under control, son.”

“I do.”

Frank nodded and grinned. “Listen, what I wanted to talk to you about was this ointment for my hemorrhoids.” He had handed Aaron a crumpled tube of prescription hemorrhoid cream. “I need you to call me in a refill.”

After Baby Girl Whitten had been whisked off the helicopter and into surgery, Aaron headed to the hospital cafeteria to grab a bite to eat before the flight back to Lafayette Falls. He was in the middle of eating a grilled chicken sandwich when he felt his phone clipped to the waist of his scrub pants vibrate.

He glanced at the screen and saw he had a message from Stevie.

A video followed the message, and Aaron clicked Play. He saw his backyard and the basketball goal. Then Lia appeared, dressed in white shorts, running shoes, and a racer-back tank top, dribbling the basketball. With her long, dark hair in a ponytail, she charged toward the goal, made a jump, and dunked the ball with one hand.

“Michael Jordan ain’t got nothing on you,” Stevie called as he continued recording. “What about a long shot?”

She started running again, making a couple of circles as she bounced the ball on the concrete pad; then she made her shot from the right side of the court. The basketball arched in the air and hit the net. Lia cheered and went running after the ball. Stevie lowered his phone so the focus was on her round bottom.

“Bro, if you don’t bang that, you’re out of your frigging mind,” Stevie said as the video ended.

Aaron fired off a message to his kid brother. Asshole, you’re supposed to be painting. I want that nursery painted today.

Aaron frowned. It was the middle of the day and nothing was done. At this rate, he’d never get rid of Lia. He sent his father a text. Dad, where the hell are you? You need to get the paint home to Stevie.

“The rush,” Aaron muttered as he felt the urge to fling his phone across the cafeteria. Instead, he sent another text to his father. Dad, I need the nursery painted today. There’s no time to waste.

Aaron stared at the message. Wild mustangs. He shook his head. Dallas probably liked wild mustangs. Ditto for Cole and Call and all her other heroes. But he was not going to put a painting of wild mustangs over the fireplace in his house. It was not Lia’s house, and it was not going to be Lia’s house, and he did not want reminders of Lia in his house when she was gone. That was that.

He reached for his sandwich.

As he ate, he watched the video Stevie had sent him again.

* * *

“He looks different.” Surprised, Lia glanced up at Baby John’s primary care nurse, who stood on the other side of the incubator in the NICU pod.

“Of course,” Helen said. “Babies literally change overnight. It’s amazing to watch them. By this time next week, you won’t recognize him.”

Lia studied the small baby inside the incubator. His face had filled out a little, and she could see his features better since the oxygen hood had been removed. “He’s so cute.”

“We all think so. And he’s a good baby. He’s our little angel. Except when he’s hungry, and then he pitches a fit.” Helen indicated the red rocker. “Pull the chair up and have a seat. You can hold him for a moment.”

“Hold him?” Lia gasped. “For real? Shouldn’t he stay in there?”

“He can come out for a couple of minutes. He’s breathing well and maintaining his body temperature. Plus, human contact is an important thing for these little babies. Dr. Kendall comes in twice a day and does kangaroo care with Baby John.” Helen explained how Aaron advocated kangaroo care for parents and their preemies. “He and Baby John have a strong bond.”

Lia didn’t doubt that. Frank had emphasized how much the baby meant to Aaron during their impromptu trip to the furniture store. “Having a son means everything to Aaron,” Frank had said. “Having a family means everything. Just like his mother. She was a nurse, you know. God, she was so proud of him when he decided to go to medical school.

“He was a good pitcher. I thought he might get into the big leagues, but there was an accident on the field his sophomore year in college. He and a shortstop collided. Aaron came down on his pitching arm and busted his wrist. He couldn’t play summer ball because of his wrist, so he got a job working in the hospital where his mom worked. Next thing I know, we’ve got a doctor in the family.

“Even if Aaron weren’t my son, I would still tell you that your sister’s baby couldn’t have a better doctor or a better daddy than Aaron. I hope you can appreciate that in him.”

She had told Frank she definitely appreciated Aaron. What she hadn’t told Frank was that it wasn’t all platonic appreciation like it should be. Especially last night when she had gotten ready for bed in his room where she was surrounded by his things. A closet filled with his clothes and a bath with sandalwood soap. She had lain beneath thick Egyptian cotton sheets on a strong mattress, and when she’d buried her face in one of the pillows, she recognized his scent mingled with Fahrenheit. Suddenly, she had been so horny she would have done him in a minute if he’d walked in the room.

“Here we go.” Helen turned with the baby, and Lia’s thoughts of Aaron fled as the nurse put Baby John, who wore a blue beanie and blanket, in her arms. “We just have to be careful with the monitor leads.”

“Of course,” Lia answered, her heart thudding wildly as she held John in the crook of her arm. She didn’t move or breathe. “His eyes are open.”

“Yeah, we woke him up. Baby John’s a very alert baby.”

Lia said nothing as she stared at him. He had his hand pressed against his cheek. He did have the most perfect little face. “I see my mother in him,” she whispered.

Helen nodded. “I think there’s a strong family resemblance. Introduce yourself to him. Let him hear your voice.”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lia spoke to the baby. “Hi there, precious. I’m your Aunt Lia, and I’ve come to see you.”

He puckered his lips, lifted his hand, and spread his tiny fingers in the air.

At that moment, Lia could no longer hold back the emotions converging inside her. Her heart overflowed with love for this tiny baby, and it was unlike anything she had ever felt before. Tears streaked down her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she apologized to Helen.

“Happens all the time. Here.” Helen fetched a box of tissues from the table next to the incubator. “We’ll put him back in his comfy place.” She took John from Lia. “If you want to sit here with him a little while, that will be fine.”

She removed the blanket and beanie from the baby and checked all of his leads before she closed the access panel. “I’ll be back shortly with a bottle for him. You can feed him.”

Lia wiped her eyes as she leaned forward in the rocker and peered inside the incubator. “Aunt Lia loves you so much. We’re going to have so much fun together. Birthday parties. Christmas. Halloween. I love Halloween. We’ll get some really cool costumes, and you’ll really love the ranch. I’ll get you a pony.

“I’m so excited.” She gazed at the baby and wiped away another tear. “I don’t know how Candace could have given you away, but what we’ll say is that she meant well. She gave you to a great guy. He’s taking good care of you, and I know you have medical issues, so you need him. But you also need a mommy, and I don’t see why that can’t be me.”

Helen returned with the baby’s bottle. “I’ll show you how to feed him.”

Lia smiled. “All right.” She had so much to learn. “Dr. Kendall said he usually sends parents to a CPR class so if their baby quits breathing, they know what to do. I would like to sign up for that class.”

With a surprised look, Helen said, “The respiratory therapy department is in the east wing of the first floor. You go there to sign up.”

After Lia left the nursery, she stopped by the respiratory therapy department and signed up for the CPR class. Then after leaving the hospital, she headed to the historical downtown district where Bundle of Joy, a shop specializing in baby clothes, was located.

Lia parked the Jag beside a classic blue Road Runner at a quiet park in downtown Lafayette Falls. Across the street was a block of quaint storefronts, and she spotted the shop. Before she got out of the car, her phone lit up with Dallas’s image. She sighed and answered.

“Conner called me. He said Julian told him to set up some joint appearances for us this fall,” Dallas said, his voice tight. “He’s working on a deal with some home-and-garden network to do an hourlong feature on us at home in Nashville and a guest spot on a cooking show. We need to get this over with.”

“I know.”

“ ‘I know’ is not good enough, Lia. Okay? We need to talk to Julian. He’s in London now. I think we should go.”

“I can’t go,” she shot back. “I’ve got a responsibility to my sister’s baby. He’s trying hard to survive, and he comes first—before us and our screwed-up relationship and my father and his grandiose ambitions. My priority is the baby and making sure he has what he needs.”

Dallas didn’t respond, and she went on. “Dad will be home in a couple of weeks. The big confession can wait until then.”

“I want to marry Madison,” Dallas said. “She’s not going to wait forever.”

Lia wasn’t surprised. She figured that Madison had been pushing Dallas hard for a commitment. Personally, she thought he was making a mistake.

“Dallas, if she loves you, she’ll wait.”

“Like you know what love is.”

It’s not us. She bit back that sharp retort and said, “I’ll be in touch.”

Furious about what Dallas had said, she sat in the car for a few moments, thinking about his words.

Like you know what love is. How much could she possibly know? She’d hooked up with him when she was nineteen and made him her life. It had seemed like love at the time. She had told her father she loved him, and Julian had welcomed Dallas into their world.

When she wrote love songs for Dallas and listened to him sing them, it had felt like love. When they had worked on a set, with their voices merging, it had sounded like love. When they had walked hand in hand onto the stage at the CMA awards show, it had looked like love.

Obviously, she didn’t know what love was because, at the moment, she felt nothing for Dallas. He could say all he wanted about love, but did he know what love was? Or rather, had he ever actually loved her? Or was it just the music. He had kept his indiscretions quiet. Neat little secrets tucked away until she told him she knew and didn’t care.

All they were doing was maintaining a brand, not a relationship.

She would be glad when it was over. That’s a first, she thought as she reached for her purse. She had been dreading the breakup forever, but now she didn’t feel like it was going to be the end of the world. Other concerns were taking precedence in her heart.

She had a baby now.

The moment she walked inside Bundle of Joy, all of her concerns about bad relationships and breakups fled as she absorbed the enchantment of the shop filled with pink and blue everything. She gaped at the wall display of long, elegant christening gowns, matching blankets, and snow-white teddy bears.

“Can I help you?” The store clerk spoke to her from the checkout counter.

“I’m looking for baby boy clothes. Newborn,” she added.

“To the right,” the clerk directed. “The newborn sizes are beneath the rainbow.”

Lia glanced up and saw a wooden rainbow arched over the far right corner. “I should have known.”

As she headed in that direction, she walked past racks of clothes for infant and toddler boys. Some of the outfits were adorable: jeans with suspenders, hoodies, and miniature suits with bow ties. She had no idea they made such outfits for babies. I’m in for an education.

She stopped when she noticed a Western outfit that consisted of a blue plaid shirt with pearl snaps, blue jeans, and a belt with a Western buckle. All it needed was a pair of chaps. She checked the size: eighteen months. Someday.

Under the rainbow, she faced wall and floor racks of newborn baby boy clothes that ranged from dressy smocked outfits to cuddly sleepers. She looked at a soft mint green sleeper. It actually looked too big.

After she dug her phone out of her purse, she sent Aaron a text.

As she dropped her phone in her purse, she tried to dismiss the sudden anticipation she felt. She was just beginning to realize that she had been lonely for a long time. Otherwise, she had no justification for her infatuation with an unassuming doctor who loved her sister’s unwanted baby.

Aaron was so different from anyone she knew. Her heart said there was something special about him. Last night, she had spent some time looking at the items on the bookcases in his bedroom. Besides the trophies for being the most valuable player, he’d earned awards for his sportsmanship.

She had looked at a big scrapbook his mother had made for him. Lia told herself the reason she wanted to go through it was because she needed to know what kind of man was going to be her nephew’s father. All of his report cards were in the scrapbook. He’d been a straight-A student, and a copy of an IQ test score ranked him as gifted.

There were pictures of his Little League teams, family vacations, and birthday celebrations. He and his mother did look alike, as Frank had said. Aaron had won a blue ribbon at the science fair, and his senior class had chosen him Best All-Around. He’d taken a girl named Michelle to the senior prom. The scrapbook concluded with his high school graduation.

Lia had returned the scrapbook to the bookshelf, and she’d come to a couple of conclusions. Aaron’s childhood had been one of happiness, love, and normalcy. That made him a good candidate for fatherhood. It also drastically divided them. Her childhood had been far from that kind of normal. Nevertheless, that didn’t mean she didn’t have a lot to offer Baby John and couldn’t be just as good a mother as Aaron was a father.

After an hour of browsing in Bundle of Joy, she hauled twenty-five outfits to the checkout counter, including the cute Western shirt and jeans, size eighteen months. Aaron did say not to worry about getting something too large. She had also found a couple of newborn gowns made of soft cotton prints for preemies. Baby John would have something to wear home from the hospital.

“I see you are stocking up,” the clerk said as Lia laid the clothes on the counter.

“Yeah,” she replied and explained she was buying for her newborn nephew, who was still in the hospital. “This is only the beginning. I don’t have anything, and I can see I have a lot of things to buy, so I’ll be coming back.”

“That’s great. I’m Katie, the manager.” Katie picked up a white cotton outfit with a smocked yoke. “Aren’t these bubble suits precious.”

“They’re bubble suits?” Lia nodded. “I didn’t know what they were called.”

“Do you like the Avengers?”

“Like the movie with Iron Man and Thor?” Heart be still.

“Yeah. I just got in a shipment of infant bodysuits. There’s Captain America or Iron Man.”

“I’ll take one of each.”

While Katie went into the stockroom to fetch the bodysuits, Lia looked at a selection of frilly pink bonnets and found herself longing for a baby girl. She brushed off the thought when the manager returned. Then she noticed a stack of books in a wooden bookcase on the other side of the checkout counter.

“Baby care books.” She looked at the titles that covered the first year of life, good parenting, and child care. “I’ve heard of Dr. Spock.” She reached for Your Baby’s First Year For Dummies. “This is so me.” She added the book to her purchase.

“We have baby name books, too, if you need one,” suggested Katie.

“He sorta has a name.” Baby John Doe. She wrinkled her nose. “His dad calls him John or John Aaron. That’s what he plans to name him.”

“John Aaron. That has a nice ring to it.”

“Yeah.” Lia didn’t disagree. The name was a good, solid name. She touched her locket. “I like the name Cole.”

“Me, too.”

She matched it with her last name. “Cole Montgomery.”

“I love that!” Katie gushed. “That kinda sounds—”

“Sexy?” Lia filled in. She toyed with the name and pictured the baby in thirty years: a tall, dark-haired guy standing at the bar, black riding boots, and a Stetson. Cole Montgomery. It was enough to make you swoon. “You know, that’s an awesome name.”

Katie agreed as Lia handed her a credit card. “I would so name him Cole Montgomery.”