Chapter 23
After returning Lady Betsey home, every impulse Jackson possessed petitioned for him to find Kate. To rush to her and defend his actions.
Thankfully, common sense prevailed. God only knew how big of a fool he’d have made of himself. The woman was promised to another man. What could he possibly say that she’d want to hear?
Needing to escape, he’d gone to the one place he could be himself. Willie’s ship.
Only it lacked its usual welcome. The unsteady floor didn’t ease his troubles. The sounds of the dock didn’t wash away the world.
And Willie’s gruff jubilance irritated greatly. “Why are you punishing me with your sour face?” he finally prodded.
“Do you have an objection to my presence?” Jackson’s ire increased with each word he bit off.
“Generally, no. Today, yes.”
Jackson slumped in his chair. If there was ever a place he felt welcomed, this was usually it.
Except not right now, damn it.
Willie’s direct stare challenged Jackson to argue. “What makes today different?”
The old man didn’t hesitate. “You don’t want to be here.”
Jackson lifted a brow. “And where exactly do I wish to be?”
“Don’t be a fool, boy. We both know where. Sharing my unpleasant company isn’t it.”
Dreading the answer, Jackson remained silent.
“Fine, be a fool. Makes no difference to me.” Willie reached for the drink sitting on his desk, dismissing Jackson.
His world was spiraling out of control. He hated these unknown feelings, churning in his gut.
“You won’t be happy until you speak your mind, old man,” he spat.
Glass almost to his lips, Willie met Jackson’s glare. “I don’t think you are ready to hear it. You wouldn’t be here if you were.”
“Damn it! Out with it.”
As calm as ever, Willie savored the last of his daily rum, spiking Jackson’s fury tenfold.
He pushed himself to his feet, intent on working off his anger on deck, when Willie’s voice stopped him cold. “Why can’t you admit you love her?”
Jackson sucked in a harsh breath. “What do you blather about now?”
“Lady Katherine Baxton, youngest daughter to the Duke of Cosgrove. You should be more discreet.” It was as if Willie challenged him to deny the claim.
After years of striving for the very thing almost in his grasp—an ownership in Willie’s seafaring venture—Jackson found himself fighting to protest the man’s accusation.
Only his heart balked.
Time to admit defeat? Yes, except it didn’t feel like he’d lost. His prior life might have held the promise of foreign lands but it had lacked what made him whole . . . Kate.
Did he desire her? Yes.
Did he crave her? Yes.
Did he love her? His chest thumped with every beat of his heart, as if trying to answer for him.
Yes.
“Yes,” he murmured aloud.
“At last you found a grain of sense.”
Lost in his revelation, Jackson vaguely registered Willie’s smug words. He waved off the old man’s glee. “She isn’t mine to have.” The truth of it was a joy-crusher.
“And just like that, you’ve once again become an idiot.” Willie released a disgusted snort. “Start acting like a man and take what you want.”
Jackson’s lips parted to defend himself but Willie wasn’t done. “When I agreed to go into business with you, I did so believing you were a man who knew what he wanted and went after it. The seas aren’t akin to a simple stroll in the park. It takes daring and heart. Two things you are currently lacking.”
Enough was enough. Jackson curled his hands into fists, ready to brawl. “I’m more than ready to take on whatever is thrown at me.”
“Then why are you here with me and not with her?”
No fight left, Jackson fell back into his chair. “She is promised to a duke, for God’s sake. I have nothing to give her.”
“Except love,” Willie pointed out. “You can give her love.”
He fiddled with his empty glass, then gestured toward the open sea. “I married this ship years ago. She is my life. Your heart is no longer on this ship.”
“But—”
“If you pursue her and she denies you, I’ll be here, this ship will be here. If you do nothing and let her blindly marry Blackthorn—yes, I know about him—my deal is off the table. I need a partner who will fight for what he wants. Not skulk away like a scared little boy.”
Utterly defeated, Jackson had nothing left but the truth. “Love can’t provide for her.”
“You aren’t without means.” A smile spread across Willie’s bearded face. “You are the partner in a very profitable shipping business after all.”
“If Kate will have me, I won’t sail with you. I couldn’t ask that of her.”
“As you enjoy pointing out, I’m not a young man. As much as I’d like to live forever just to befuddle your life, there will come a day my love will need to have a new owner. There are no other hands I’d want her in besides yours. You don’t need to sail her, just look after her.”
Overwhelmed, Jackson sat up in his chair.
Willie mimicked his action, elbows resting on his desk. “When you first came to me, you needed my ship for an escape. I wanted to give that to you. Now you need her for other reasons. I’d like to give that to you, too.”
Jackson’s friendship with Willie hadn’t been filled with open affection but there was no denying their bond. Hearing Willie echo the sentiment, sent a wave of power through Jackson. Maybe, just maybe, he could have everything.
And there was nothing he wanted more than Kate by his side . . . forever.