Remember when I said I’ve never been more confused?

I was wrong.

This is confused.

And to add to the level of confusion, Hayden is on the way to my apartment to pick me up. He said he would come to the door but there is no way in hell I’m going to let that happen.

He fought me about it, saying he’s cool with Logan, and I’m going to guess after last night, he’s not going to be cool with him at all.

Can we just take a moment to consider what happened last night?

Logan, my dear friend, who I’ve been through everything with from bad one-night stands to learning how to insert a catheter . . . we’ve gone through it together. The good, the bad, and the incredibly ugly.

And out of the blue, he goes and tells me he loves me and then kisses me.

What the hell?

And for the record, before you go judging me, HE kissed ME. There was no reciprocating of the kiss. No, I was pretty much a dead fish hanging off his lips last night. He must not have kissed a lot of women lately because when he pulled away, he looked fully satisfied.

He must have been kissing carps for a while if that was pleasing to him.

But he’s in love with me.

In love.

The big L word. Where the hell did that come from?

In all honestly, I’m not being naïve here. After our night together, I really thought there was no chance in hell Logan and I would ever be a couple. Anyone in my position would think the same thing.

This was a mistake.

It’s clear-cut. There is no going forward from there.

Oh and don’t get me started on the “flinch,” because that’s so ridiculous. For all I know, I could have had an ill-timed muscle spasm. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have flinched if he went to snuggle with me.

Ugh, men.

A flinch.

That’s what this all comes to. A freaking flinch. How about you ask me, did you just flinch or did you have a morning chill? I was naked after all. I could have been cold. A little shiver is what scared him off.

Absurd.

It’s times like these I miss Emma. It hasn’t been easy being so far away, but we have managed to connect most days either in the mornings before a shift like old times, or in the early evenings when we were both finished work. This morning, I tried calling Emma to talk about Logan’s declaration, but we couldn’t catch each other. She’d worked a morning shift then was helping Racer at the bridal store he’s working at. I was taking a nap when she called back. And her phone was off when I tried her back. I knew what that meant. When she hasn’t spent much time with Tucker, she turns off her phone and it doesn’t come on until . . . well, until she has come . . . well, multiple times. And he’s good for it. For. Hours. But I needed my friend. I still couldn’t get my head around Logan saying he’d been pining for me. I’d thought he’d been into Emma before she got together with Tucker. But he said he’d been pining after me for years. Did Emma know? Had she seen that? God, I was so confused. Part of me felt angry that he’d waited until we were here because it was his turn to make his move. It was so . . . contrived. Yes, he is amazing in how he packed everything up and left the East Coast to support me in LA. I’ll never forget that. But knowing he was doing it with the intention of making his move because things with Hayden didn’t work out. Gah. The whole thing was absurd.

Rolling my eyes, I snag my purse, check myself in the mirror one last time, and make my way to the front door. Logan is on the couch, his computer propped on his lap watching something on Netflix.

Trying to be sneaky, I tiptoe to the door but not having an invisibility cloak at my disposal in such a small apartment makes it impossibly hard to sneak out without going undetected.

“Where you off to?”

Okay, I practiced this in my room. I wore jeans and a regular white shirt with leopard-print flats. Casual but still nice, not looking all gussied up for a night out.

“Shannon is picking me up. We’re going to the movies and then dinner.” My voice sounds a little robotic, but I plaster on a huge smile, showing off every last one of my teeth.

“What movie?”

Ha, got it covered and looked up times to make sure what I said matched up.

“The new Marvel movie.”

“Really? I didn’t know you were into Marvel movies.” I’m not. He shuts his computer. “I’ll tag along, let me grab my wallet and shoes.”

What? Who just invites themselves like that? Think, Adalyn. Pretty sure Hayden won’t be happy to take me to a Marvel movie with Logan.

“You can’t,” I shout. Laughing nervously, I play with the strap of my purse and say, “Shannon wanted a girl’s night.”

Raising an eyebrow at me, he asks, “Why are you looking all fidgety?”

“I drank a can of real Coke a few second ago, pounded it hard. The sugar makes me feel high as a kite.” I wipe my forehead. “Man, look out, high pregnant woman coming through.”

Now his brow is creased when he steps closer to me. To say I’m a good liar under pressure is not necessarily correct. I feel like he can see right through me.

“You drank one of my Cokes without asking?” He tsks at me. “That’s a roommate no-no, Adalyn. You should know that. Just poor etiquette.” When he reaches me, he pulls me into a hug and kisses the top of my head. “Have fun with Shannon, and tell her I said hi, okay?”

“Yup.” I swallow hard. “We’ll be out late, so don’t wait up.”

“Okay. Be careful. Call me if you need anything.”

With another kiss to the head, he sends me on my sweaty way, waving at me from the door. Thankfully he shuts it, not watching me the entire time.

It’s not like I’m already having a difficult time here, Logan has to come into the mix and throw me for an entire loop.

Outside, waiting for Hayden, I try to process everything. Logan is my friend, a boy I once briefly saw myself with long ago, a boy who broke my heart, who kept me guarded. But he’s also been there for me when I’ve needed someone the most. He’s protected me, guided me, and has been my rock.

And then there is Hayden.

He pulls up to the curb in his sleek car, a pinch in his brow when I open the door. “I told you I would come to the door. I don’t want you to have to wait outside for me.”

“It’s fine,” I say, getting immediately in and buckling up. Taking a second, fidgeting with my purse, I tell myself to forget the bomb Logan dropped on me last night. Hayden deserves my full attention, especially when he’s making such an effort. He drove straight from the airport to here, and I’m sure he’s exhausted.

“How was your flight?” I ask casually. He eyes me for a second before he starts driving.

“Fine, got in an hour of sleep. You know, it’s dark out, Adalyn, something could have happened to you.”

“Hayden, I’m fine.” I touch his arm that’s gripping tightly onto the gearshift. “It’s really okay.”

Exhaling heavily, he looks unhappy but moves on when he asks, “Do you like Chinese food?”

“Love it. Did you get us some?”

“Yup, should arrive shortly after we do.”

We’re not in the car for more than five minutes when Hayden is pulling into an underground garage and parking in a spot reserved for him.

Out of the car, he guides me to the elevator where he has to flash a key card to get started and presses the tenth floor. When we were pulling in, I didn’t realize that one, he lived so close, and two, the building was more than ten floors. It didn’t seem that tall when we drove into it.

“You’re pretty close, aren’t you?”

“Planned it that way.” Reaching out, he links my hand with his and leads the way when we step off the elevator. The hallway is a light shade of green with grey flooring, and modern, sleek-looking lights illuminate the dark but clean hallway.

It doesn’t take long to reach his unit, 10A. Not releasing my hand, Hayden opens the door and lets me in first. The room opens up to a span of windows overlooking the city below. To the right is an open-concept kitchen with dark cabinets, chrome hardware, and subway-tile backsplash. It’s beautiful and a great size for entertaining. To the left is a spacious great room connected to a dining room. All the furniture is dark, just like the cabinets, with accents of white and green. There isn’t much personalization to the space, just a few picture frames on a credenza, but it’s the view that’s breathtaking. It’s what draws me.

Walking toward the windows, I take in the busy streets below, wondering once again if there are any celebrities below us. Hell, are there celebrities in this building? Hayden is technically considered a celebrity, but in my eyes, he’s just sweet and handsome Hayden, not this mega-star everyone deems him to be.

Although, the people closest to Scott Eastwood must think the same thing.

“Would you like anything to drink?”

“Water is great,” I call over my shoulder, spotting my apartment. “I didn’t realize how close you were to me. You can see my place from here. You know, I could have walked here.”

That statement makes Hayden laugh, deep and throaty . . . and oh so sexy. “Adalyn, I didn’t even want you waiting outside after I realized what an idiot I was being. Do you really think I would want you to walk here, in the dark? Yeah, not happening and don’t attempt it, or I’m going to be really mad at you.”

“It’s a nice area, Hayden.”

Coming up behind me, he hands me my water and places his hand on my hip. Possessive, marking his territory, even though it’s just us in his apartment. It’s as though no time has passed, and it’s simply how we stand when close to each other. Easy.

“I don’t care.” His thumb rubs across my side, silently letting me know he’s looking out for me.

“This place is beautiful,” I say, taking in the room. “So open and airy. And the ceilings, they’re so high. Who knew apartments could feel so big?”

“I wanted to get you a better place, Adalyn, but your budget—”

I silence him with my hand to his lips. “I love my apartment, and it’s perfect. I was just admiring yours.”

Eyes softening, he lightly kisses my fingers and then links them with his. He brings me to the couch where we both take a seat, facing each other. Hayden’s large arm, defined and full of rippling sinew, spans across the back, his hand toying with a strand of my hair. Our propped-up knees knock against each other, our bodies are close, but still a reasonable distance for a conversation.

“Out of your brothers, who’s your favorite?”

“What?” I laugh, surprised by his question.

“You have to have a favorite. Hell, I have a favorite brother and mine are twins.”

“I understand the question, I’m just confused where it came from. I figured you would ask how I am, how the baby is or something like that.”

Becoming serious, Hayden says, “I love that baby growing inside of you with everything in me, Adalyn, but you are more than a vessel carrying my baby around. I want to know more about you.”

A little surprised, it takes me a second to gather myself. This is why I haven’t been able to erase Hayden from my life . . . from my heart. Because just when I think I can do it, that I’m strong enough to put distance between us, he says things like that, pulling me right back in, firmly planting himself in my life. Because he cares for you, Adalyn. He never stopped.

Clearing my throat, I say, “Favorite brother, huh? Hmm, that’s hard since I have so many, but if I had to choose one of them, I would probably go with Patrick. He’s closest in age to me, and growing up, he’s who I played with the most. He’s the one I stay in contact with the most. Plus it helps that I like his wife the most. She’s fun, and when we first met, she made it known she was here and sticking around so no need to try to weed her out. She’s a tough cookie and takes a lot from the family. She tells us to fuck off when she wants to but is so incredibly loving.”

“Sounds a lot like someone I know.” Hayden tugs on the strand of hair he’s playing with.

“I guess we are a lot alike. What about you? Who’s your favorite brother?”

Before he answers, he eyes me up and down. “Does this stay in the vault?”

“The vault?”

“Yeah”—he nods—“the vault. Does this stay between us and only us? Once the words are uttered out of my mouth, you have to keep them to yourself, locked up in the vault.”

“Ah, I see. You don’t want me telling your brothers you have a favorite.”

“Exactly. Because, believe it or not, they’d never let me live it down, and that is something I really don’t want to live through. They know me as loving them equally, just like all parents apparently love their children equally.”

“Load of crock.” I tap his knee and lean forward as if telling a secret. “My dad says I’m by far his favorite, which makes complete sense because my sister has always been quiet and at times aloof, independent, and of course, all my brothers are numbskulls. But when it comes to my mom”—I shake my head in disappointment—“Shane is her favorite.”

“Shane?”

“Middle kid. He’s her project.”

“What do you mean by that?” A small chuckle pops out of that enticing mouth of his.

“Starting as a teenager, he’s always been ‘lost’ and my mom has made it her mission to help him find his way.”

“As every good parent should.”

I grip his arm for emphasis. “I think so too, don’t get me wrong, but when your mom goes to your college classes with you, there’s an issue.”

“Oh fuck, did she really?” The curve of his smile brings out the joy inside me. It relaxes me, helps me forget about everything else and enables me to focus on one thing: the man in front of me. The man who looks at me as if I’m his world. As if every word from my mouth is vital to him somehow. The man I wished could be mine.

“I wouldn’t lie to you. She wouldn’t have done that with any of her other kids. She’s a total Shane fan.”

“Well, seems like your dad is the smarter parent.” Winking, Hayden flashes me that straight white smile, melting me with one look at a time. This is what I’ve missed the most. Yes, our chemistry was out of this world, but despite only knowing Hayden a short time, our friendship had been so effortless. I’ve missed him. Missed this. I like learning things about him, because I truly like the man.

“Okay, so tell me your favorite brother. This is all in the vault.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Giving me one last once-over, he deems me worthy of such private information and divulges one of his deepest, darkest secrets. At least that’s what I tell myself; it is for more of a dramatic effect.

“Favorite brother would have to be Halsey.”

I lean back, a little surprised by his confession. “Huh, I would have guessed you were going to say Holden.”

“Yeah, why’s that?”

“I don’t know. He’s more outgoing and fun. It seems like you would have had more good times with him growing up. Halsey is so reserved and quiet. Barely entertained unless on the rare occasion you can grab a little smirk from him.”

“That’s why I like him more. He doesn’t like someone to be nice. You have to earn his approval and when you do, he’s a good time, more so than Holden, because he comes without the asshole attitude. I love both brothers, but Holden can be a dick a lot, and that gets on my nerves after a while.”

I can see what Hayden is talking about. Holden can be obnoxious at times, at least from what I experienced, and for some reason, earning someone’s approval sounds more appealing to me as well.

“Do you think I earned Halsey’s approval?”

“Do you really want to know?”

Uh-oh, am I not going to like the sound of this?

“Umm . . . maybe?”

Chuckling, Hayden playfully tugs on my hair again and says, “He said you were cool.”

“Oooo, cool. Is that good?”

“It’s the first step to earning his approval.”

“Then I’ll take it.”

“Are you judging me for eating straight out of the carton?” I ask, a mouthful of lo mein about to be shoved in my mouth.

“Not even in the slightest. I think it’s cute.” Eyeing the other cartons, he says, “I wish I’d asked what you wanted beforehand, because I’m going to have a lot of leftovers, when I shouldn’t be eating all these leftovers.”

Playfully, I flip up the hem of his shirt, showing off his corded stomach and say, “Pretty sure your abs can handle it.”

He pushes his shirt down and takes mock offense. “It’s not polite to lift a man’s shirt when he’s eating.”

“Please,” I scoff, giving him a giant eye-roll. “With the kind of abs rubbing against that tight shirt of yours, you’re lucky I’m not making you eat with your shirt off.”

“Making me, huh?”

“Yeah.” I wave my chopstick at his body. “When a pregnant woman tells you to take off your shirt, you do it.”

Laughing, he reaches behind him, his hands posed below his neck, gripping onto his shirt. “Say the word, babe, and I’ll put on one hell of a show for you.”

“Don’t.” I shake my head and pat my protruding belly. “You’ll give me a complex.”

“Are you being serious right now?” Hayden’s features harden when he looks me up and down. “Adalyn, you’re gorgeous—”

“I don’t feel anywhere close to gorgeous.” I sigh. “And believe me, I’m not saying that to fish for compliments. Nothing fits anymore. I feel like I’m not pregnant enough to be cute, I just look super bloated.”

“You don’t look super bloated. You look sexy.”

That makes me laugh out loud, because the last thing I feel is sexy right now. I’m two forkfuls of lo mein from rolling down the elastic waistband of my jeans and calling it a night.

Setting down his carton of Chinese food, he dusts off his hands and scoots closer to me, taking my carton from me as well. Looking more serious than ever, Hayden says, “Touch me.”

“What?” I nervously giggle as he comes even closer, the crisp white of his shirt stretched across the expanse of his chest, his biceps framed under the fabric, enticing me.

“I want you to touch me, anywhere you want, just touch me.”

“Why?”

Scooting closer so now there is no room to retreat, he says, “I want to show you how unbelievably sexy you are to me. Despite what you might think, you’re drop-dead gorgeous, Adalyn, and the fact that you’re carrying my baby just heightens the need I have for you. So touch me. Let me show you.”

Trepidation steels my nerves, my hand shakes, and I’m unsure if I should touch him. This was not in the plans—or at least not in my plans—to be this close, to be sucked into the sensation of having him near me again.

Touch him. It seems like such a simple request, but behind the simplicity is a myriad of emotions waiting to consume me.

One touch. I know that’s all it will take to open up the floodgate of memories I shared with this man. Am I willing to risk the onslaught of emotion to follow?

“Touch me,” he repeats, his voice rumbling over me like a cloak of comfort, reverberating up my spine, sending my hand forward to his forearm.

Tentatively, with the pads of my fingers, I run them over the well-defined sinew of his thick forearm. The muscles beneath me flick and flutter to my touch, dancing beneath my hand.

Peering into Hayden’s heavy-lidded eyes, I’m taken back to a moment in the hotel room in New York City, my head buried between his thighs. My mouth on his cock, my tongue lapping at the head, his eyes fluttering shut, his teeth pulling on his bottom lip, his corded neck straining with every single lap.

Heat consumes me. A wave of lava erupting over my skin, the sound of his grumbly moans echoing through my memory.

“Do you feel that, Adalyn? Goosebumps spread over my skin, the heat of your touch warming me immediately? A light touch does that to me, having you near me sends my body into a frenzy, so the next time you try to put yourself down again, think of this moment. Because you might not feel like yourself, but to me, you’re more beautiful than ever.”

Clearing his throat as my fingers continue to travel along his arm, he scoots back on the couch and pulls on the chocolate strands of his hair. “Uh, I’m going to pack some of these boxes up. I’ll meet you in the kitchen. I have something planned for us.”

Standing from the couch, he starts gathering boxes, and I finally open my mouth. “How many women have you been with?” I don’t know why I ask the question, and frankly I don’t think I want to know, but for some self-loathing reason, I’m curious.

Not looking at me, he says, “Doesn’t matter. There’s only been one woman I’ve ever truly cared about.” Eyeing me with a look I can only describe as loving, he adds, “And she’s sitting on my couch, driving me fucking nuts with the way she keeps wetting her lips.”

My tongue on route to wet my bottom lip, I suck it back into my mouth, causing Hayden to chuckle to himself and retreat to the kitchen, his backside flexing with every step.

I might be in trouble.