Stephanie

 

After I left the bar, I was feeling so proud of myself that I could have gone into another bar and bought shots for everyone there. Instead, I rode home and crawled into bed early. I was still exhausted from the meeting earlier—I couldn’t believe how many of the girls were backing Val.

 

Val was a goddamn mystery these days. Everything she did troubled me. Even though she was my best friend, it seemed like she was doing things to deliberately antagonize me.

 

That night, I was almost afraid of dreaming about Isaac again. Isaac, the man who I'd loved so much that I thought we'd spend the rest of our lives together. But instead, I barely dreamt at all. In fact, I barely slept. I spent the whole night tossing and turning in a sweaty pile of sheets and blankets. In the morning, I felt exhausted. There were dark circles under my bright blue eyes and even my hair looked darker than usual. Ever since I'd started dying it black, I thought the contrast always made me look more awake. But now, I felt like it matched the circles underneath my puffy lids.

 

I had six missed calls from Val, two from Alexa, and one from Jessica. Oh great, I thought as I slid my phone into my pocket. Today’s going to be awesome. After I showered and nibbled at some breakfast, I drove over to the Succubi’ clubhouse. In the light of day, I had to admit that the building looked pretty seedy. It was an older brick building and the ground was covered with old brick dust and weeds outside. I decided immediately that we’d have to set up some kind of beautification project—if we didn’t want the city on our asses for criminal activity, we were going to have to start looking a lot more legit.

 

The girls didn’t look too pleased to see me. I grabbed a beer and sat down at the table, glancing and Val and Alexa. They were seated with their heads close together, and Val looked spitting mad about something.

 

“So,” Val said when I sat down and took a sip of beer. “Did you do it?”

 

I sighed, pulling out my phone and scrolling to a picture of a passed-out Isaac on the bed. “I did,” I said. “It was pretty fuckin’ easy. I was just sitting there and he rolled up and sat next to me and bought me a couple of drinks. I drugged his first drink and then spilled my bag. He was only too eager to help,” I explained, raising my eyebrows and staring at Val.

 

She didn’t look impressed. “So what now?”

 

Irritation flared inside of me. I wanted to shake her by the shoulders and demand to know when she’d stopped respecting me, when she didn’t actually care about being my friend anymore. Business was business but Val and I had been close long before the formation of the Succubi. I’d always thought that we’d make it through anything together, but I was starting to find out that I’d apparently been wrong.

 

“So,” I said carefully. “We go after the Russians, if that’s what y’all are interested in.”

 

Alexa frowned. “Why not the Jungle’s Thorns?”

 

“Because,” I said, feeling grouchier with each passing second. “Because if we target them, it’s going to be obvious. We had a little showdown with a few members when they showed up for the party, and then Val saw one of them sneaking away after the attack. They’re going to know it’s us.”

 

“I want those fuckers to know it was us,” Val growled. The other girls cheered and clapped when Val was finished. She bared her teeth and glared at me. “I want those assholes to know exactly who is fucking with them.”

 

I frowned and steepled my hands together on the table. Five seconds in and this wasn’t going the way that I’d hoped. Not at all.

 

“Right, but if we try to take them down, it ain’t gonna work with just us,” I said through gritted teeth. “It’s a better move for us to drag down their supplier, and then sneak in while they’re weak. If we can steal all of their business, they’re not going to have a source of revenue and they’ll be weaker than ever.”

 

Alexa shook her head. “That’s not good enough,” she said. “I want justice for Jessica.”

 

“So do I,” I protested hotly. “That’s exactly what I want, that’s why I’m here.”

 

Jessica, who had been quiet the whole time, gazed up at me with hardened eyes. “I want to see them all dead,” she said in a sotto voice. “The doctor told me that I won’t be able to have children as a result of the attack.”

 

I shuddered. I couldn’t believe it had been two weeks since Jessica’s assault. She was already up and running around with the rest of us, even though she’d been through some extreme and traumatic pain. She was stronger than I gave her credit for, even if Val didn’t agree.

 

“They’ll be useless,” I promised Jessica. Her face relaxed a bit, the corners of her lips turning up into a faint smile. “But we have to know the right way to do this.”

 

“The right way is fuckin’ bombing their hideout,” Val said with a nasty grin.

 

My stomach twisted when she said that. I couldn’t explain why, and I’d never have admitted it, but suddenly Isaac’s face flashed into my mind. I knew that I couldn’t kill him, no matter what one of his boys had done. I just couldn’t.

 

"No," I said firmly. "We're going to get the Russians out from under Jungle’s Thorns and get them to start supplying us instead. We'll wipe out Jungle’s Thorns by eliminating their need for gun running, and they'll be forced to disband."

 

“That ain’t good enough,” Val repeated in a hiss. “I want to see those fucks dead on the ground. Bloody and maimed.” She raised her fist in the air and yelled, “Dead!”

 

“Dead!” the other girls chimed in, beating the table with their fists. “We want to see them dead!”

 

“No,” I said forcefully, banging on the table with a gavel. “No! That’s not how we’re going to do this! Listen to me, I’m your fucking president!” After a few more slams on the table, Val, Alexa, and Jessica all looked up at me. The other girls glanced around, looking nervous.

 

“Come on,” Alexa said in a softer tone. “You know that what we’re asking for isn’t unreasonable.”

 

I swallowed hard. “We’re not doing any of the killing ourselves,” I said. “We have no proof. We can’t just storm in and attack them.”

 

“No,” Val said slowly. “But we can call the cops. We can rat them out and give out info about the Russians supplying Jungle’s Thorns with guns. You know that, Stephy. Don’t be a fool.”

 

I cringed at the word cops. Motorcycle clubs, especially outlaw biker gangs like the Succubi and Jungle’s Thorns, didn’t ever get involved with the cops. If we did, it was to get some local protection. But we never ratted each other out. It hadn’t always been like this, but ever since a few years back, it was unwritten code. Before the Succubi were formed, there had been another female biker gang, Hell’s Handmaidens, that was attacked by another MC, The Scoundrels. There had been a rape and the Handmaiden involved reported it to the cops. When the Scoundrel responsible went to prison, he organized an attack from the inside on the Handmaidens.

 

Let’s just say the Handmaidens weren’t around any longer. Ratting out other MCs to cops was a cardinal sin in the biker world. It was the worst of the worst, the lowest of the low. If I ratted out Jungle’s Thorns because of their weapons supplier, they’d come after us before we could say boo.

 

“We can’t do that,” I finished sharply. “We can’t rat them out. We are dead if we do that, you all understand?”

 

Val snapped her head up. “You’re being a real cunt today, Stephy,” she snapped. “You ain’t thinkin’ of the good of your girls. You’re thinking of your own selfish head,” she added. “You ain’t even want to defend Jessica!”

 

Indignity and outrage rose in my blood. “What the fuck are you talking about?” I snapped back. “Everything I’m doing right now is so we can get back at those assholes! But we can’t turn them over to the cops, Val. The cops will sniff down on us faster than we could turn our backs.”

 

Val tutted. “You coward,” she said, lifting her chin high in the air, as if balancing something on the end. “You wanna see Jessica’s rapist go unpunished.”

 

I gasped. "This is fucking ridiculous. You have no fucking idea what I’m thinking!”

 

“Hey,” Alexa said, waving her hand around in the air. “Quit arguing! This is fucking important, and we have to decide today!”

 

“We’re not calling the cops, and that’s final,” I said as I crossed my arms over my chest. A room full of women glared right back at me. “Do none of you care about the future of the Succubi?”

 

Jessica’s shoulders sagged. “Stephy,” she said. “Come on, you don’t understand. Have you ever been attacked like this? Have you?”

 

“No, but—”

 

“Then you won’t ever understand!” Jessica said angrily. She stood up with her hands in fists at her sides. “You just won’t get it!”

 

I swallowed a huge knot in my throat. I couldn’t believe this—my club was falling apart right in front of my eyes. It was like we’d gone through nothing together, like they didn’t even care about what the eventual result was.

 

“You guys need to fucking calm down,” I said as calmly as I could manage. “We are not calling the cops! They will destroy us!”

 

Val shook her head. “No,” she said. “You’re gonna destroy us if you don’t start listening to your girls.” She gave me a disgusted look. “We need to call the cops. Then they’ll be more likely to trust us in the future!”

 

“Yeah,” Alexa chimed in. “If we tell them this one little piece of information, who’s to say they won’t give us immunity in the future?”

 

I rolled my eyes. “Because you can’t trust cops,” I argued. “You can’t trust them! They’ll lie to you! They’ll make you sign a statement and then turn around and lock you up! This club will be over!”

 

Alexa stared at me. She reached across the table and took Jessica’s hand. “I think we should listen to Jessica,” she said. “I think we should ask Jessica what she wants.”

 

I slumped, feeling defeated. I couldn’t believe this. I wanted to stand up and ask the girls, one by one, if they were taking crazy pills. “Fine.” My voice sounded hollow and empty. “If you all don’t care about this club, we’ll call the cops. We’ll turn the Jungle’s Thorns over, and we’ll be done ourselves.”

 

It seemed like a bitter way to go. Two weeks ago, we’d just been celebrating our independence and our new clubhouse. And now I was practically digging our grave.

 

“I want to turn them in,” Jessica said softly. “I want those assholes to suffer for what they did to me.” She shuddered. “Attacks on women are some of the most senseless and violent acts, and I want them to pay for it.”

 

I stared at her. “So you want us to call the cops?”

 

Jessica glanced around timidly before nodding. “I do,” she said in the same soft tone. “I want to get revenge.”

 

My heart felt heavy and wooden in my chest, like a thing crudely carved from a tree. I swallowed hard and picked up the gavel, thumping it once for emphasis. “All in favor of calling the cops and reporting the Russians as the gun suppliers for Jungle’s Thorns, say aye.” I looked around from girl to girl, wondering how things got to this state. A year ago, my girls wouldn’t have risen against me like this. They would have stood by my side and defended everything I was doing. They would have loved me; they would have trusted me.

 

The vote was unanimous.