Chapter Twenty-Three
Gia
The next morning, my parents eat a quick breakfast with us before heading off to the hospital. I don’t know what changed with my mom, but she doesn’t give me grief for not going back to the hospital. Once they leave, we don’t waste much time getting undressed and having another romp, but in the bed this time. After we are finally able to pull ourselves away from each other, we pack up our bags and head back to Chicago.
Our hands intertwined, we find ourselves in easy conversation for most of the drive. When we aren’t talking, we are listening to music.
“So, I have to ask, Simon. Why gaming?” I’m really curious because while he played a lot when we were younger, he never talked about wanting to pursue it professionally. I didn’t realize it was a thing.
“What do you mean? I’ve always loved video games, you knew that.” He cocks an eyebrow my way.
“Yeah, I remember, I mean, like how did you get into it? It wasn’t on your radar at all before I left.” I try not to cringe when I mention my leaving but I can’t help it. However, he doesn’t flinch.
“Well, when I found myself with suddenly nothing to do with my free time,” he looks over at me with a knowing smirk, “I started gaming more. I was already pretty good, the more I played, the better I got. Obviously.
“I built up a reputation pretty quickly and the summer before I was set to leave for college, Dex reached out to me about a new team opportunity. It was really low-key at first. At the time,” he pauses and thinks for a second, “Dex, Link, Chuck, Bernie, and myself were all in different places. Chuck was the only one not enrolled in college. I was already going to The Illinois Institute of Art, so it was almost like fate that Chicago became our home base of sorts. We just started out practicing together between our classes. We had scheduled times and somehow made it work. We all even managed to graduate. I’m pretty sure Bernie graduated early,” he chuckles.
“So, you’ve been in Chicago for about six years now?”
“Yup.”
“Do you think this is where you will stay for good?” I wonder.
“I do love it here,” he says.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how do you guys make so much money? Ruby said that, as a team, you guys bring in millions a year. That’s impressive but when you split it five ways …” I trail off.
“Almost ten million in the six years we’ve been doing this. If we branched off and competed in more than one game, it would be more. One of our competitors participates in seven different games and I think their more recent tournament earnings total was almost twenty million.” He says all this stuff like it’s not a big deal he’s a freaking millionaire.
“We get sponsorship deals, that’s part of that ten million. As a team we are sponsored by Vertagear, which is gaming chairs, and SCUF, which is gaming controllers. And then individually, we also get our own deals. Like I have a contract with Gunners, the gaming glasses. Dex with Turtle Beach. Bernie is with Jinx, which is apparel, but she’s always turning companies away since she is one of the few women in the industry right now. Even though he isn’t on the team anymore, Link makes a killing on advertising on his YouTube channel and writing strategy guides for the game publishers. He also has a sponsorship with Turtle Beach.”
“Well that’s really cool, Simon. Color me impressed.”
“So, you don’t mind that your boyfriend plays games all day and gets paid for it?” He turns a lopsided grin my way.
Hearing him refer to himself as my boyfriend makes me a bit giddy. I like it.
“Nope. But that’s only because you make so much money,” I say as nonchalantly as possible.
“Ha-ha. Real funny, well I guess I’m just gonna have to make you earn nice things and romantic gifts,” he says mimicking my tone.
I try to remain unfazed, but I see the biggest grin on his face and I can’t help but laugh.
“Whatever. I don’t need gifts.” I lean over and kiss his cheek. “I’m just happy to be your girlfriend.”
“Yeah, well what if I still want to make you earn it?” he teases.
I playfully punch his bicep.
“So, you guys are like in your prime right now? How long do you plan on pro gaming? What happens next?” I ask.
“Well, honestly, we’ve probably got another year or two in it. Well, when I say ‘we’ I mean Dex and me. We are getting kinda old for the industry.”
I snort. Since when is mid-twenties old? But he continues.
“When we are ready to retire though, I wouldn’t mind putting my degree to use. My degree is in game art and design, so I’d love to design a video game. We’ve tossed around an idea for our own video game company, but it's a huge undertaking, one that we just don’t have time to get started on now.”
“Well, it sounds like you’ve got your life pretty much figured out,” I offer.
Chuckling, he nods his head. “Yeah, but only until recently.”
~~~
When we get back into Chicago, I opt for Simon to just drop me off at my apartment. I don’t know if Morgan will be home, but I’d rather face her wrath on my own. It’s my mess to clean up and I’m kind of embarrassed. I know Simon understands, but I don’t want him making excuses for me. If she isn’t home, I’d kind of like a few moments to myself.
Unlocking the door, I walk into a near-silent apartment. The ticks of the wall clock in the dining room are the only sounds I hear. I yell out for Morgan, but there is no reply. I head down the hall toward our bedrooms and see her door is open, but the light is off. So, she isn’t here. I toss my overnight bag on the floor inside my room, walk over to my bed and faceplant into it.
I’ve decided on my strategy when dealing with Morgan. To start, I need Ruby to be here, as a buffer, but also so I only have to explain things once. I’ve decided to just be completely honest with them. To tell them everything and answer anything they want to know.
I roll over onto my back and fish my phone out of my pocket. Calling Ruby is probably better than texting. I need to feel her out.
“Hey, lady!” she sings. OK, well that’s a good sign.
“Hey. So, I’m home,” I tell her.
“Oooh, is Morgan?” she replies.
“Nope. Do you mind coming over?” I ask her.
“Not at all. Hey, is everything going to be OK with your brother?”
With a sigh, I tell her, “Yeah, I think so. But I owe you and Morgan an explanation and an apology.”
“Yeah, but I still love you. You know that, right?” she says.
“I’m glad to hear you say that. Hopefully, Morgan feels the same way,” I say, slightly hopeful. But I’m greeted with silence.
“Well, I guess that answers that question,” I mutter.
“No,” she drags out the word slowly, “she does still love you, but she is really hurt. You kept a big … huge … massive part of you a secret from her. You two are pretty much soul sisters and you were lying to her the whole time. She has every reason to be hurt.”
“I know. But why …” I pause.
“Why aren’t I? Honestly, I kinda am, but she really is, and I think you need someone on your side too. Someone who doesn’t have a dick, that is. Obvs you have Simon, but you’re my girl. And you need all the help you can get when dealing with Mo.”
I can’t help the laugh that escapes. “Alright, Ruby. You’d better get over here before she does, to keep me safe.”
We say quick goodbyes and hang up. I spend the next 30 minutes staring at the ceiling reflecting on the past three days. Dang, I’m tired.
Not even ten minutes after Ruby arrives, Morgan walks into the apartment. Ruby and I are sitting on the couch and Morgan isn’t surprised to see us both there. She offers Ruby a smile but heads down to her room without a word.
“You didn’t mention she was in the silent treatment stage,” I whisper.
“It’s because I’m not,” Morgan says, walking back into the room.
I straighten as I’m about to get my punishment.
She sits down in the chair and just looks at me. And I just look back at her.
Ruby breaks the uncomfortable silence. “OK, let's not do that again. Hashtag awkward.” She grabs my hand and squeezes. “Gia, why don’t you start by telling us if everything with your brother is going to be OK.” I give her a thankful smile.
“Actually, I think I should just start from the beginning,” I offer.
“Maybe don’t leave anything out this time,” Morgan chides.
I just nod and launch into my story. I go chapter by chapter, starting with when I first realized Todd and I were different than other twins our age. Then, about growing up with a brother who was mentally unstable and undiagnosed. About when Simon entered my life. Telling them the truth about why we left and moved to Indy. All bringing me to the moment when I first chose to lie about my family to Morgan.
Looking directly at Morgan, I tell her that when she asked me about my family, the only thing going through my head was my mom telling me to look at this move as a new start. That since Todd wasn’t living at home or enrolled in school, I knew he wouldn’t be around. I didn’t know her well enough yet to know if she would stick around long enough to become my friend. That I was used to losing friends because of Todd. Old habits die hard.
I tell them that I didn’t really think that far ahead, as to how I would explain him if he did move back home. But we went off to college before that happened. Then about how I made my mom go along with it because I felt that she owed me.
Finally, Morgan says something, as she has been quietly taking in everything I’ve said so far.
“I just don’t understand why you’d want to hide such a big part of your life from me. If you hadn’t wanted people to know about Todd, you know I wouldn’t have told anyone. Did you not trust me?”
“Morgan, I trusted you, from like, day one. I was just so ashamed of myself and him that once the omission was out there, I didn’t look back,” I explain.
“What do you mean you were ashamed of yourself? How? Because you left Simon?” she asks, clearly confused.
I take a deep breath. “That, and the fact that I also suffered from anxiety attacks. All my life I thought that, at any moment, I could start acting like Todd. I mean, we are twins.”
“Wait. You do know that just because you are twins doesn’t mean that if one of you is sick, both of you are, right?” Ruby asks.
“Yeah, I know that … now. But I didn’t growing up, and Todd was always ready and willing to scare me into believing it.” I lean back on the couch and add, “Simon tried really hard to counteract everything Todd said, but I’d still have anxiety. A few times, I’d have a full-blown anxiety attack. Normally, right after interaction with Todd. My mom eventually took me to the doctor and they determined that I was fine but suffered from generalized anxiety, as a lot of teens and adults do. They told me it was very common to take anxiety medicine. So, I have some, in case of a panic attack. I don’t have to take them often. More so in the past year, though.” I offer Morgan a knowing look.
In return she grants me a small, sympathetic smile.
“OK. So now, explain to us what the hell happened the other day,” Morgan demands.
I launch into that mess and, per my promise to be completely honest with them, I tell them about my conversation with Todd. At that point, Morgan has tears in her eyes and Ruby is holding my hand. I’m a little emotional when I recount “the things you never want to hear your sibling say,” but I’m surprisingly at peace with it.
“For the first time, I actually have hope that Todd and I can have some kind of relationship someday,” I say.
Morgan moves to sit beside me and then hugs me. Ruby hugs me from the other side.
That’s when I get truly emotional, because these two women are so important to me and I don’t know what I would do without them. The fact that they are accepting me for who I am, even though I’ve lied to them both for a long time, means the world to me. I don’t deserve them, but I’m going to keep them, and not give them another reason to lose their trust in me.
“I’m so sorry I lied to you guys. So incredibly sorry,” I stammer through unshed tears.
“We love you so much, Gia. We will always be here for you, you’ve just got to let us be here to help you,” Morgan says.
We pull apart and regain our composure. Now we are all smiles and sniffles. Morgan gets up to grab some water bottles from the fridge and then tosses me a bag of M&M’s. I smile at her gratefully as I rip it open.
“So. Now to the good stuff. Have you fucked yet?” Ruby blurts.
And the water I just drank to wash down the M&M’s comes out my nose.
“Really, Ruby?” Morgan laughs.
“What? You’re telling me you don’t want to know too, Mo?”
Still laughing, she hands me the tissue box and says, “Yeah, yeah, I really do.”
“Come on, Gia. Please tell us something good,” Ruby pleads. I roll my eyes and smile.
“Yes. Last night. In his car.” Jaws drop, but I continue. “And this morning, in my old bedroom.”
I can see the progression of Ruby’s giddiness grow. Her hands clap together, and she bounces in her seat.
“Was it everything you always wanted it to be? Because, don’t get me wrong, based on what you’ve told us—and how he’s been looking at you for the last several months—you’ve both wanted to do the horizontal tango for a while.”
“It was better than I ever expected. I’m pretty sure he has ruined me for any other man,” I offer. Ruby looks at Morgan with a sly smile on her face.
“Looks like you and Dexter owe Link and me some money, honey.” Now my jaw drops.
“Wh-what, did you have a bet?”
“Yup, a Simon-and-Gia sex bet,” Ruby says.
“Ew, don’t call it that,” Morgan complains.
“Whatever you want to call it, Link and I bet Mo and Dex that you guys would do it on your little impromptu trip home. And it looks like we won. Wait till Link hears the good news!” she exclaims.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’m not sure I like the idea of you two—well, the four of you—gossiping about my sex life,” I stammer.
Ruby is looking at her phone for the first time in an hour and she’s pouting.
“Looks like Link already knows. Seems that Simon shared the news about your great sex before you did!”
Morgan just laughs. I sit there in shock. Ruby shakes her head in disappointment
“Well, clearly, talking about sex was their most important topic of choice.”