Julian

 

Dubai’s dark blue atmosphere was ideal for a romantic setting. I hadn’t noticed the starry skyline on my last visit, although this particular visit was nothing like any trip I’d made in my lifetime. I reached down and linked our fingers together. Whenever we were side by side, the need to connect with her in some way remained significant. I stepped into the grains of sand but Desiree halted, and I turned to her.

“I need to take my shoes off,” she said.

My eyes roamed down to her bare legs, and spiked heels, and my manhood bobbed against my zipper. A part of me felt like Desiree was teasing me, wearing a similar ensemble as her earlier one, but looking like a mysterious vixen in the same notion.

“Here, let me help you,” I said. I found myself wanting to help Desiree with everything; the desire for her to want and need me becoming stronger by the day. I still couldn’t understand this emotion, but I wasn’t willing to dismiss it without finding out why my heart pounded so fiercely when I was around her, or why I wanted to be her provider, lover, and friend.

“It’s okay,” she said. “I can get it.”

Desiree leaned into me for support as she reached down to remove the high heels. She scooped the shoes up, and they hung off of her fingertips while she moved into the sand with me.

“Wow, this sand is so cool.”

We began our walk down the beach. “It’s like this in the desert, too,” I said.

Her brows rose. “Really?”

I gave her a half grin. “At night, the temperature drops, and where it’s scorching hot during the day, you would need a light jacket or sweater at night.”

“Are we going to the desert?”

“Tomorrow, we’re shooting a scene on camelback.”

“When you say we, you mean, you and me?”

I stopped walking to stare at her. “Yes and a few others.” I watched her closely. “Is there something wrong?”

“I don’t want to mess up your photoshoot.” She sighed. “Have you seen the other’s we’ve taken today?”

“Bella, you absolutely have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?”

Her face heated and she dropped her head which I lifted just as quickly.

“Listen to me,” my hands slipped to hold her face in my palms. “The pictures will be perfect. I’ve been through the frames, and if it makes you feel better, I’ll show you a few. But trust me when I say, you’re the star of the show.”

Another flush of heat fell over her skin, and her cheeks darkened.

“I would need to see them to believe that,” she said.

I dropped my hands. “So you don’t trust my judgment, then.”

“No, no, it’s not that.”

I watched her intently as she scrambled for the right words to say.

“I’ve never been photogenic. So it’s an insecurity within myself. Has nothing at all to do with your judgment.

“How can I get you to trust me?”

Desiree watched me carefully. “I don’t know,” she said. “When it comes to men, I’m not quick to let my guard down.” She stammered. “I mean, it’s no offense to you…”

I reached out and wiggled her nose. “It’s cool,” I said deciding to calm her. “Tell me about it.”

My question seemed to fluster her even more.

“What do you want to know?”

“Why don’t you trust men?”

“Before I answer that question, do you see yourself as a trustworthy man, Julian?”

“Of course.”

Keeping a keen eye on me, Desiree’s shoulders relaxed. I wondered if it was any indication that I’d squashed her worries.

“Tell me.”

She grabbed my hand and turned away from me. “Let’s continue walking,” she said.

We moved down the beachfront shoreline; the silence between us lingering. I let Desiree gather her thoughts without questioning her again.

“It started a long time ago,” she began, “when my father left.” A deep breath escaped her. “He told me he’d be back. Like everything was as normal as any other day. But he never came back. The night before, he and my mother were fighting. It started with the usual argument. She asked him where he’d been and he said working. She accused him of lying, and he screamed about her wanting all the bills paid and the kids taken care of, so what did she expect him to be doing with the hours of his life. I should’ve known then they would never last, but I was naive. They were my parents, after all. Usually, they’d have those arguments then go on, business as usual, the next day.

 I could tell it drove my mother crazy because my father got up in the morning, showered, dressed, and pulled my mom away from her morning duties to dance around the kitchen. I figured it bothered her more because she wasn’t over the argument from the night before and his disappearing acts became stressful to her. But the next morning, after this particular argument, there was no dancing, no conversation, only quietness as they walked around each other making sure not to touch. My father hugged Claudia and I and kissed us goodbye.

Her voice trembled.

“He lied, telling us he would be back when he knew he wouldn’t.”

A single tear slid down her face, and I pulled her into me.

“No,” she said, pushing back. “I’m okay.” Desiree wiped the single tear and forged ahead with her story. “He wasn’t the singular cause of my distrust in men.”

Her voice changed, going from soft to a throaty, intoxicating heaviness that she didn’t know turned me on. It wasn’t the best time for my thoughts to travel that direction, but it became more apparent that I couldn’t control myself around her.

“Tell me,” I said edging her on, wanting to be her confidant in every sense of the word.

“Throughout my young adult years, I was adamant about making a name for myself. After my father left, Claudia and I got in more trouble than we could handle. It ended up landing us in juvie.”

She took a peek at me to see how I reacted to the information, but my face held neutral showing her nothing.

“I ended up dropping out of high school.”

Desiree peeked at me again.

“It was one of the things I regret most about my life.” She continued. “However, I took a GED test a few months afterward and failed. It did surprise me because I knew I was book smart. I took the test three times before I passed it. Three years, rigorous studying and I finally got it.”

She glanced at me again, and this time I offered her a smile.

“Congratulations, I’m sure your mom and sister were proud.”

“That’s just it,” she said, “They never knew.”

I watched her more intently as she spoke. “I set my alarm and got up every day like clockwork and walked Claudia to the bus stop. She got on going to middle school, and I pretended to wait for the high school bus. No sooner than her bus pulled off, I caught a city bus downtown to the school I attended for GED classes.” She sighed. “I was ashamed. As the oldest, I should’ve stepped up once my father left. My mom needed the help, and I was old enough to get a job with her consent. I should’ve looked after Claudia, but instead, we ended up in juvie together.” Desiree shook her head. “Once I graduated, I went straight to a community school for journalism.”

I reached out and tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of her scarf behind her ear.

“I only needed a two-year degree for associates. While I went to school, I looked for jobs everywhere but Chicago. I believed deep down that if I got away from the city, I could escape my demons and start fresh. So I did.”

Desiree paused, and I could see an inner struggle with what she wanted to say next.

“The Houston Report was the first response I received for a job offer. Like I told you before, I studied, planned, and prepared for my move. But, what I didn’t expect was how lonely it would be without my mom and Claudia. How lonely it would be without anyone.”

Her voice lowered, then she looked at me again, this time holding my gaze.

“I was in Houston six months before I met Cameron.”

Her eyes fluttered away from me, searching through the distance.

“I had just landed a major news story, which went on to win a DIG Award for journalistic excellence and investigative video.”

“Congratulations,” I cut in.

Desiree smiled up at me. “Thank you.”

“Forgive me for interrupting. Continue.”

Desiree held her smile and pressed forward. “I wanted to celebrate but had no one to celebrate with.”

Her tone became even lower.

“It was easy for him. I made it easy for him to just walk into my life like a savior.”

She struggled over her words.

“To try and make the most dramatic long story short, I fell in love with him. We were together two years before I found out he had a baby on the way with someone else.”

A flow of single droplets of tears glided down her caramel face. I swept her into my arms holding her close. Her body vibrated off of me as she cried. I stroked her back as she relinquished herself. Her voice was muffled when she spoke again.

“I keep telling myself that I’m over it, but every time I think about it, I cry like a baby.” Pulling back hopeful eyes searched mine. “That means I’m not over it, right?”

“It sounds like you need closure,” I said. “And you’ll have it. You can’t start anew without getting closure from your last relationship.”

Desiree scoffed. “Start anew?”

“You deserve to be with someone who will love and cherish you and only you forever…”

Desire wiped her tears and pulled away from me.

“I don’t know if that will ever happen for me, Julian.”

“I do,” I said.

“Because you’re psychic?”

I chuckled. “Not usually, but when I look at you, I see your future.” Her eyes rose. “It happens to have me in it,” I said.

Her eyes faltered and desire registered in them. Desiree took a step toward me, much like she’d done back at my hotel in Houston. If she wanted to keep her distance, taking that step was the wrong move. But like before, I took that as an opening and my mouth sailed into hers, deliberate and stimulating. Instinctively, my hands traveled around Desiree, sealing her warm body against mine. Remembering where we were, I pulled back.

“Do you mean it,” I asked, needing to hear her say she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.

“Yes,” she whispered.

My lips fell to her ear. “Are you sure, Bella?”

What I wanted to give her now was far more than I’d given on the yacht, but I needed her consent, loud and clear.

“Yes,” she said again.

My blood heated and I grabbed her hand, swiftly making our way back inside the Jumeirah Beach Hotel.