Desiree

 

 

Last night had been like a dream. When I woke, I assumed it was, and everything that had happened was a figment of my imagination. That was until the firm bulge against my backside nudged me, and a pair of strong arms laying across my waist made me realize it wasn’t the covers that warmed me. The clock on the nightstand read 5:00 a.m. The drowsiness I felt accompanied the ache between my thighs. Making love with Julian was mind numbing. He was hyper-aware of my bodies needs as if he’d known my curves in detail beforehand. I laid there listening to his soft breathing and imagined waking up to him every day this way.

Those thoughts scared me. I revealed many of my desires last night. It was easy to do with Julian since he was so attentive and forthright. Another thing that worried me was how comfortable I felt around him, in his arms, in his bed, in his presence alone. Reason being? It was easy for Cameron too.

But then you had been looking for love. This time love found you.

I locked my jaw and closed my eyes needing to shut out those thoughts. But they wouldn’t be silenced, coming out to haunt me as the day moved forward. I’d lain in Julian’s arms for another hour before rising to shower. He moved in on me as I stood with the water pedaling my skin. My body’s overwhelming need to connect with him became addictive. Why oh why did it happen to me that way? I wasn’t ready. How could I fall in love with a man whose background I barely knew? Who was more likely to break my heart? Whose temperament went against my independent defiant one?

I asked myself those questions as Julian rocked against my core, slipping in and out of me with his fingers strumming my clitoris. Those thoughts assaulted my mind as my mouth hung open, moaning, squealing and crying out his name after every violent thrust. Like a song on repeat, I questioned myself, silently trying to figure out how I went from like to love in what seemed like an instant. When we made it out of the shower and managed to pull apart long enough for me to tread lightly to my room to get dressed for the day, those thoughts continued.

I had intentions on keeping my head on straight, after all, I was there to do a job. But that task seemed less and less possible the longer I was around Julian. He made it hard for me to pull away from him; drawing me across the seat as we rode in the back of a limo to our next destination. There were no words spoken between us as I’m sure we both assessed the situation we’d gotten ourselves into overnight. When my thoughts shifted, they didn’t go far.

“We’re going to make a baby…”

He said it last night, and I drowned in his whispers of love. My gut tightened, and I almost broke out into a sweat. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I had to get a grip. Protecting myself was rule number one. I had to remember that. And yet, we’d had sex; multiple times now with no protection. My nerves were frazzled for most of the day. As much as I wanted to believe everything Julian said and that he really cared for me, I just couldn’t.

“That power you spoke of, it’s yours anytime you want it. The same way you gave it away, you can take it back.”

When we reached the desert, I moved around in a daze, being shuffled from one person to the next. How interesting that I’d found myself getting a firsthand account of what the ins and outs of putting together a successful photo spread contained. All the note taking and scribbling I’d done would not have prepared me for the importance and detail that went into being in a model’s shoes. Again, I was completely transformed into an Arabian Queen. We were set to take shots on the back of a camel when a jeep came flying over the dunes. It stopped a few feet before us, bringing a mist of sand swirling around the tires.

“I’m here! I’m sorry I’m late!” The blonde hair blue eyed model jogged through the sand. She was dressed the same as I, making her way to where Julian and I stood. Julian called for assistance over his shoulder. Kelsey and the photographer walked over to us.

“Are you switching?” Kelsey asked Julian.

“No,” he turned to the model. “Lila, this is Desiree. As you can see, she’s taken your place. We need to get these shots before the sun sets, so you’ll need to hang out with the others unless we call you.”

Lila’s face fell. “You mean with the backups,” she asked perplexed.

“Yes,” Julian confirmed.

“But I’m your main girl.” Lila looked to me. “No offense, Desie, Desire or what was your name again? Anyway, I don’t mean to be rude, but you understand, right?”

Before I could speak up, Julian did. “Her name is Desiree, and you are rude.”

Lila was befuddled. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “What I mean is, I’m the queen, you hired me for this part, so,” she glanced at me again, “Desiree can hang out with the other’s while I do the job you paid me for.”

“I don’t think you understand,” Julian drawled. “This isn’t an option, Lila. You missed your flight. We replaced you. Now, you’re the backup and Desiree is the leading lady. Now step to the side so we can wrap this up. I don’t have all day.”

I had never heard someone get read their rights as smoothly as Julian had done to Lila. It was obvious she was insulted, but she slunk to the side with everyone else as we were holstered on the camel and the photoshoot resumed. I tried to be what I assumed a professional model would be, but I’m certain the cameraman had shots of me laughing as Julian leaned forward to whisper in my ear. His breath tingled my spine, and I doubled over in a heap of giggles.

“You’re going to have to take a million shots if you keep this up,” I said swatting at him at times. Julian chuckled and ducked, then leaned to the opposite side and nibbled on my ear. With every wardrobe change we made, I got a glimpse of Lila in the background brewing like a pot of hot tea on the stove. She was not a happy camper, and I wondered if it was because I took her spot or because I took her man. It was silly of me to think it because at that point, I trusted Julian enough to tell me if he were dating one of his models. From what I knew about him, Julian was not the type of guy to condone disrespect. So I pushed that thought to the side and focused on my task. It was enough that I had a plethora of other thoughts to contend with.

At the end of the day, Julian pulled me away for a romantic dinner at Jumeirah Beach Hotel. We strolled hand in hand to an outside area flank with palm trees around a deck that housed a contemporary outdoor sofa made from resin material. Perched in front of the sofa was a modern ventless outdoor fireplace made with stainless steel and fireproof glass. Diamond rocks accented the centerpiece, and it sat beautiful and idle on an elegant presentation. Soft jazz music wafted around us, and I relaxed against Julian’s shoulders. He sat back against the sofa with both arms thrown on top as I cuddled against him.

I was doing it again; allowing myself to be vulnerable. How could I blame anyone if I ended up in the same predicament as my last?

“I am not Cameron, Desiree. Don’t be afraid to love again because of him. I’m not willing to let you run.”

Julian’s words danced around my head as we dined. Our conversation was lighthearted, but the intensity of our connection remained profound. I was clutched to Julian’s side, and anytime I wiggled out of his reach, he pulled me back. I wasn’t used to being cherished the way Julian cherished me. Even Cameron didn’t act with such greediness. It warmed my heart and made me panic simultaneously.

The next few days were filled with hustle as we moved from one serene location to the next. Some of the models warmed up to me, and often they invited me to lunch or dinner. Julian occupied my time whenever he got a free moment, but sometimes we went the entire day without having so much as a single conversation. It intrigued me how often the queen was not with the Arabian king, but it was beginning to be a universal sign that men did their own thing most of the time. Lila held firm to her obnoxiousness even when I broached her to strike up casual conversations. Besides her one-word answers, avoiding eye contact with me seemed to be her thing until I was dressed as the queen in front of the camera.

Then and only then did I receive piercing stares that could’ve struck me dead if her eyes were a weapon. After a week, I gave up and decided if she wanted to talk it out, she could approach me. We were in what appeared to be a palace with white and gold columns that stretched from marble floor to ceiling, upholding a massive yet luxurious bed. The golden canopy almost touched the tall ceilings, and I tried not to marvel as I lay across the sheets on my side perched on an elbow in a gown fully covered from head to toe. The thin material lay against my skin, accentuating some of my most dominant curves. For a moment, I felt insecure about that part of the shoot since, although the king didn’t occupy my space, I felt normally, you wouldn’t be able to see features of an Arabian queen this way.

Letting my nerves get the best of me, I sat forward and pulled slightly at the material wishing it wouldn’t be so form fitting. The cameraman approached me.

“I’m ready whenever you are,” he said.

“Um, I’m not sure if I’m ready.”

Julian’s deep voice crooned from behind him. “What seems to be the problem?”

Both men watched me fiddle with the material then I sighed.

“This gown is too form fitting. Would you happen to have something bigger?”

“Bigger?” Julian said.

“Yes, puffier,” I said, “Like the one I had on yesterday.”

“No, no,” the cameraman said adamantly. “That one was for a different scene. You must wear this one today.”

Julian placed a hand on the cameraman’s shoulder. “Take five,” he ordered but not without taking the camera off the photographer’s hands.

“Bella,” he said stepping closer to me. “You don’t need a change of clothes. This fits perfectly.”

I looked down at the gown then back to him.

“Are we seeing the same thing?” I asked.

There was a glimmer in his eyes that told me we did indeed saw the same things, but didn’t have the same worries.

“Of course, I see a radiant beauty that’s perfect in the queen’s gown.” He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. “Would you be more comfortable if I took your shots in this scene?”

I’d become comfortable with just about anything involving Julian. That was part of my problem. I swallowed and lowered myself back onto the bed. Julian stepped back and held the lens to eye level. The flashes were consistent, one behind the other. He stalked me, going from one side of the bed frame to the other. Julian worked as if he’d done this a million times. He was content and exact. I don’t think he knew, but his calm nature relaxed me as we finished up the shots.

“Was it good, can I see?” I asked afterward.

“They’re perfect,” he said.

“What is up with you and the word perfect? I’m not perfect so the pictures couldn’t be.” I bit down on my lip.

“Bella,” Julian reached out and pulled me in. “Do you think I’d lie to you?”

I hesitated. “No.”

“Are you sure?”

I groaned. “Julian…”

“You know how much this spread means to me, right?”

“Of course, but what does that have to do with—”

“Then you know I wouldn’t lie to you.”

That shut my mouth.

“I need to take a ride somewhere; would you accompany me, Bella?”

“Sure.”

Julian and I climbed in a Jeep that took us ten miles down the road before coming to a garage. He pulled inside and took us up a ramp then parked the vehicle in the middle of the cemented garage. When the ground beneath us moved, it startled me, and I reached out to hold on to Julian’s hand. He slid his gaze to me.

“I got you.” His hand threaded my fingers and held mine in a snug fist.

The rooftop opened, and we ascended through. Once we were as high as we could go, the ground beneath us locked, and a helicopter sat next to us. Surprised, I let out a gasp, my hand coming to my mouth. The luxurious helicopter was a pristine midnight black with a sea-blue tail. Before I could stop myself, I was out of the Jeep giving it a full inspection. When I looked at Julian, he stood watching me with his hands inside his pockets.

“Take a ride with me, Bella.”

“Okay,” I said a bit too quickly.

He smiled, charmed, and opened the door to help me in.

“This is unbelievable,” I said to myself. These things only happened in movies or so I thought. Julian opened the door and stepped into the pilot’s seat. My eyes bugged.

“Are you flying this thing?”

He pulled the seatbelt over his shoulder. “Of course,” he said.

“You know how to drive one?”

Julian sat against his seat holding a smile on his face. “Are you afraid?”

I twisted a few loose strands of hair nervously with my fingers.

“If you say you can drive this beauty, then, I believe you.” I pulled my hand back down and sat back keeping my eye trained on him.

“Give it to me, Bella.”

I warmed, instantly understanding his reference. A flash of us making love fiercely flooded my memory. Julian’s pleading words ran across me stroking my flesh.

“That power you spoke of, it’s yours anytime you want it. The same way you gave it away, you can take it back.”

The overwhelming feeling of desire passed through me.

“Take it back, Desiree, and give it to me. I promise to take care of it, with my life.”

That was it. I couldn’t pretend to feel what I was feeling. My heart constricted as I came to terms with my truth. I was in love with Julian.