I was about halfway through the previous night’s receipts when my phone buzzed. I was going to catch that bitch Tina with her hand in the till if it was the last thing I did, and when I did, I was going to fuck her up good with Peter. I liked Peter and I didn’t like the fact that she was skimming. I glared at the phone in annoyance, marked my spot, and picked it up. It was Cain.

 

“Hey,” I said, my smile coming through in my voice. I had gone from not wanting him around to looking forward to hearing his voice in just over a month.

 

“Hey yourself. I have a question. Have you seen any strangers around? Anyone that didn’t look right?”

 

“Cain. First off, I work in a bar. Secondly —”

 

“Alex,” he barked. “I’m serious.”

 

“Secondly,” I continued, “I’m in the back now. I don’t see anyone except employees anymore. Why?”

 

“Nothing to worry about. I’m just checking in on you.”

 

Something in his voice set off alarm bells in my mind. “Cain, what’s going on?”

 

“Nothing you need to be concerned with.”

 

I rose from my desk and shut my door. “Don’t. Don’t you dare shut me out again. You need to tell me what’s going on.”

 

“Maybe nothing. Probably nothing. I don’t want to worry you for no reason. I just heard some things that made me think, that’s all.”

 

“What things?”

 

“It’s the Bulls. I told you how we’ve gotten into a pissing contest with them? Just more of that, that’s all.”

 

“And that affects me, how?”

 

“That’s just it. It may not. I just don’t want you to get… splashed. Look, I have to come down to New Orleans tomorrow to do some business Friday morning. I will tell you all about it then, okay?”

 

“But I’m not in any danger, am I? Or you?”

 

“No. Not that I know of. It’s just that the Bulls are sometimes… unpredictable. Just keep an eye open for something that doesn’t look right. And you might want to start carrying your gun.”

 

I felt the cold hand of fear grip my heart. “Now you’re scaring me.”

 

“Don’t be scared. It’s probably nothing. And I think you should carry your gun, always, anyway. Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.”

 

I thought about what he said. “You’re not lying to me are you?”

 

“No, Alex. I would never do that. Trust me, okay? I just don’t want to take any chances.”

 

“Okay. When will I see you?”

 

“Tomorrow. I’ll leave in the morning. I should be there when you get off from work. I’ll be in a white box truck.”

 

“A what?”

 

“A box truck. You’ve seen them. They have the big square cargo box on the back. You probably have the booze for The Claw delivered in one.”

 

“Oh! Those. I didn’t know that was what they were called. Are you coming alone?”

 

“No. There will be four Hounds as escorts, but they are staying at a hotel.”

 

“So I will have you all alone?”

 

“Looks like it.”

 

I smiled. “I like the sound of that.”

 

“Yeah, me too,” he said, but his tone said something different.

 

“Are we okay?” I asked.

 

“Sure. Why?”

 

“I don’t know. You just don’t sound like yourself.”

 

“Just tired, that’s all. This shit with the Bulls is wearing me out. Nothing to worry about.”

 

“Okay. So long as that is all it is.”

 

“That’s all it is. I’m looking forward to seeing you.” This time I could hear the smile in his voice and I relaxed.

 

“Same here.”

 

***

 

When I rolled up to my house on Thursday, there was a white truck sitting at the curb and I smiled. As I drove by I could see Cain sitting in the driver’s seat, apparently asleep. After tucking my car away in the garage I walked out, picked up my mail, and rapped on the door of the truck with my knuckles. He lunged awake and made me grin in delight.

 

“Enjoy your nap?” I asked as he blinked himself awake.

 

“Yeah,” he mumbled as he opened the door. Just like the last time I saw him, he looked like hell, but even worse this time. He looked unkempt in a way that he never had before.

 

“Is everything alright?”

 

“No,” he said as he locked up the truck. “I am way out on a limb here.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, I’ve convinced Thad, the President, to back a play to hold onto our client. We are going to lose our ass on this shipment, but it buys us some time to figure out what the hell is going on. That means no payday, for anyone, this month – next month too, probably. Everyone is pissed off at me about it. They think I’ve lost the touch.”

 

I closed the garage door behind us as we entered my kitchen. “Why are they mad at you? Sounds to me like you are doing everything you can.”

 

“I am, but how would you like it if your boss came to you one day and said you weren’t getting paid because one of the waitresses convinced him to give away free drinks for a month to boost traffic?”

 

“Oh. I see your point.”

 

“Worse, when the Bulls find out that now I’ve screwed their deal, they’re not going to be happy about it. But I figure they have everything they got wrapped up in this deal, and if I can squeeze them out, then they may just implode. It accomplishes the same thing as wiping them out, but without the mess.”

 

“Is that what the phone call yesterday was all about?”

 

“Yeah. The Bulls are a little more rough and tumble than we are.”

 

“Rough and tumble?”

 

“Let’s just say they don’t mind getting bloody. They are quicker to want to fight, and kill, than we are.”

 

I whirled on him. “And you think they may come after me? Damnit! This is exactly what I was worried about. ‘Nothing to worry about’ you said. ‘You’re blowing the risks all out of proportion,’ you said. Well…it sounds like I have something to worry about now. Goddamnit, Cain! I should have never gotten involved with you. Fuck!”

 

“Alex, it will be okay,” he said as he tried to pull me to him, but I shook off his hand.

 

“It is? How? Tell me how, Cain! How is it going to be okay? You want me to start carrying my gun, for Christ’s sake! That doesn’t sound okay to me!”

 

“That’s just a precaution.”

 

“Against what?” I shouted. “Against me being killed?”

 

“No!”

 

“Then what?” I raged.

 

“Nothing! I just wanted you to be safe. I don’t know of any threat against you. So far as I know, you are perfectly safe. I just wanted you to be prepared, that’s all.”

 

“Prepared for what? Some kind of attack? There must be something, otherwise why did you even mention it?”

 

“I’m just trying to protect you, okay? If you would just come to Dallas I wouldn’t be like this. I worry that I can’t protect you so far from home. It’s just a precaution. That’s all it is. The Bulls, as I said, are unpredictable. They may decide to try to hit us, make a grab for the brass ring. I don’t know. That’s the problem. When they find out that we are not going to just stand by and let them muscle us out of the way, I don’t know what they will do. It could be anything from nothing to a full-scale war. I just don’t know. That’s why I want you to be prepared.”

 

“That’s not making me feel any better, you know. I have another life to worry about.”

 

“I know. Look, you should be safe. Nobody knows about you. I haven’t told anyone that you are carrying my child. So far as they know, you are just another woman that I bedded and you mean nothing to me.”

 

“Do I? Do I mean anything to you?”

 

“Yes. You mean more to me than my own life. You and the baby both do. I will do anything I have to to protect you.”

 

“You could leave the club. You could leave the club and leave all the guns and violence behind. Move to New Orleans. You could move in with me. We can make a go of it, I know we can.”

 

“We’ve been over this.”

 

“That was before you were going to war with the Bulls!”

 

“I know. But nothing has changed. If I leave the Hounds, I’ll have nothing. How will I support you and the baby?”

 

“How will you support me and the baby if you are dead?”

 

“Nothing is going to happen to me. Nothing is going to happen to you either. If anything goes down, it will be in Dallas. You should be safe here. We just have to get through this rough spot and then things will get back to normal.”

 

“Until the next time,” I said bitterly. I turned my back to him. “Maybe you should go before we get in too deep.”

 

He said nothing and I finally turned to face him. “That is where we are again? You said I could trust you.” He looked at me, his face a mixture of sadness and anger.

 

“That was before you put my life in danger.”

 

I watched as he seemed to collapse in on himself. “I would never do that.”

 

“Sounds like you already have, otherwise why are you worried? Why do you think I should carry my gun?”

 

“Alex, it’s not like that.”

 

“No?”

 

“No!” He looked at me and I could see the sadness in his eyes. “I thought I could trust you. I thought you trusted me. I see I was wrong. Perhaps this is for the best.”

 

“Maybe it is.”

 

“When I get the Bulls problem sorted out, I will be back.”

 

“But what about the next time? And the time after that? What then, Cain?”

 

“I’m sorry. I really am. I thought maybe we had something. But I guess not.” He stared at me a moment, then pulled a card from his pocket. “Send me a picture now and then?” he asked as he offered the card.

 

I took it, but I felt so alone and vulnerable. I didn’t want him to go, but I was afraid for him to stay. “Get your life sorted and then call me. I can’t live like this, Cain. I just can’t.”

 

“I know,” he murmured. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I got you pregnant and I’m sorry to put you through all of this. I’m…just sorry. I will keep sending money for as long as I can.”

 

“If you can, okay. But if not, I understand,” I said. This was for the best! So why did I feel so torn?

 

He took my face in his hands and held me gently, looking into my eyes, staring at me as if to memorize every detail of my face. Then he kissed me, a sweet, gentle, kiss, a kiss without heat but much promise. He held his lips to mine and then breathed deep as he stepped back. He looked so sad that my heart broke for him, but I steeled myself to not waver.

 

“Goodbye, Alex.”

 

“When you are ready, when you have your life in order, when you are free of all this, I will be here. But don’t wait too long. I won’t wait forever.”

 

He said nothing, but pulled me into tight embrace, holding me a moment, before he stepped back, kissed me once more softly on the lips, and stepped out of my life.

 

I watched through the front door as the truck clattered to life and pulled away. This was for the best! I knew it was! So why did it hurt so much?