Chapter 9: Family Time
Ev needed to kiss her. There was just no way around it. Maxine had shed her suit jacket and had donned one of his man-sized aprons to protect her clothing while she worked her magic and made brownies from scratch, including the melted dark and milk chocolate. And when it was done, she added homemade whipped cream. Watching her as she did her thing made something Ev had thought long dead stir back to life. He had loved to watch Dani in the kitchen. She had been the one who had taught him to make the few dishes he had mastered. She had loved to cook, and tried everything she thought looked good on the Food Network channel. She had glowed with life when she cooked, and now, watching Maxine, he saw that same flame surrounding her.
He needed to kiss her desperately. And not that chaste, sweet thing he had planted on her in his office. He needed to lay a dirty one on her, one that would stir her up, make her moan for him, bring her closer to taste him better. But there was no way to get her alone without raising questions he didn’t wish to raise. And so he kept frying the chicken in the deep fryer and was making the salad when she pulled the brownies out of the oven. They smelled heavenly, and he loved the smile on her face as she rested the hot baking pan on a griddle to cool. Jeff had just walked back into the living room with a drink for Danny, and Ev took the chance he wouldn’t immediately return to sidle over to where she stood finishing the whipped cream. She was using a whisk instead of his stand mixer and he could see the tensile strength in her arm as she beat the cream into light, airy goodness.
He took the whisk from her and spun her round to face him. The surprise on her face was quickly replaced by awareness and a heated desire that she tried to hide from him.
“Maxine, I need this. Just one, to tide me over until after dinner. You’re driving me crazy.”
“How…?”
“Kiss now, talk later,” he ordered her, and dropped his mouth on hers without pulling her closer. Maybe he could still keep some measure of control.
A muffled “Mmmff!” and then she opened for him. Ev kissed her deeply, wishing he could find a way to kiss down into the very center of her. She kissed him back with equal fervor, chasing his tongue when he slid it out of her mouth, following his lips with hers when he let her up for air. He dived in again, this time holding her at the waist and pulling her closer to him than before. She let him do what he pleased with her tongue, and the way she leaned into him sent his blood soaring. He sucked on her lower lip one last time and then pulled away. He was too hard, too hungry, and if he didn’t stop, there’d be a hell of a lot of explaining to do.
“Damn!” He stepped away from her, walking back to the counter where the unfinished salad sat waiting. Willing his body to calm the hell down, he finished the prep, tossing the ingredients that he had already cut up with the wooden utensils next to the bowl. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as she cut up the brownies and then added a heavy dollop of whipped cream to each square. Then she put the tray in the fridge and turned to him. Her cheeks were still flushed with color and she was a sight to behold. She cleared her throat.
“Do you need me for anything else?”
“No. You go ahead and sit with the others. I’ll call you when everything’s ready.”
She nodded, removing the apron and throwing it over a stool at the kitchen island, before walking out without looking back. He inhaled deeply when she disappeared, dropping the wooden utensils and clenching his fists to stop their trembling. He had been wound up since the moment she walked into his study the first time earlier in the afternoon, and the chaste kisses he had left with her had done nothing to quench the fire of his need. He had wanted her with him when he interviewed the two women because he knew she would pick up on things he might miss. But truth be told, he had also wanted her there because he had needed to see her.
Now she was evoking emotions he had buried three years ago, and he didn’t know how to fight against them. He wasn’t sure he should. What would Dani think if he went after another woman for more than sex? He knew she would have been ashamed of the way he had been living these last twelve months. And in his deepest heart, he was ashamed of his over-the-top behavior. But it had fed a need, which it now seemed he no longer had. Now his needs were different. He wanted someone for his own, not someone for a night.
He decided to make dinner formal, so he lay the table in the dining room, and once he had dished up the chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and the salad, he put them all on the table and called the others to dinner. Jeff sat next to Danny, as always, and he sat next to Maxine.
“Help yourselves,” he said. “And after dinner, there’s dessert that Maxine made for us.”
So far, Danny had been silent on the subject of Maxine, but Ev knew it wouldn’t be long before his son asked about her. Jeff had cut up a little salad for him, plus a spoonful of mashed potatoes on his plate, and one chicken wing cut into parts. He had just torn into the leg part of the wing and was chewing it noisily. Jeff reprimanded him gently.
“Chew with your mouth closed, Danny,” he told the little boy, and Ev watched as Danny stared at Jeff for a long moment before nodding.
He hid his smile and glanced at Maxine to see she had not managed to do the same. And then his son said,
“Daddy, what’s a fish wife?”
Maxine choked on the food she had just put in her mouth, and Jeff looked up curiously. Ev wiped his lips and tried to find a good way to explain without embarrassing her further, but he could think of nothing. He looked at her, willing her to look at him, so his eyes could apologize for what he had said and beg her to forgive him for the whole conversation.
She refused to look at him. Instead, she looked at his son, swallowed, and said, “If you like, I can tell you, Danny.”
The little boy nodded, still gnawing on his chicken.
“A fish wife is someone who gets mad and says mean things.” She held his gaze while he processed what she’d said.
“You not mad now?” he wanted to know next.
“No, I’m not mad now.” Finally, she looked at Ev, but he couldn’t read the look in her eyes.
“Okay.” He paused, as though he was contemplating saying more on the subject, and then he added, “Can I have a brownie?”
Maxine laughed and Ev’s heart lifted. “I think that’s up to your dad, Danny.”
“You can’t have dessert until you’ve finished your dinner,” Ev said. “No more talking now. Eat up.”
Relief poured over him in waves. He tried not to look at Maxine again, but once dinner was over, she insisted on helping with cleanup. Jeff took Danny back into the living room, and he worked beside her silently to clear the table and pack the dishwasher. He made a care package for her from the leftovers, and added two pieces of the brownie, against her wishes.
“For a well-deserved midnight treat,” he said, “when you remember the ordeal that was family dinner at the Morgan’s.”
He pulled her away from the sink where she was washing a pot, dried her hands on a kitchen towel, and held her by her arms in front of him.
“I’m sorry about my son,” he said. “And I’m sorry I called you names.”
He leaned in to kiss her but she backed away. “Ev, we both said things in the heat of anger that night. If you’ll forgive me for being impatient and rude, we’re even.”
“But no more kisses?”
“We don’t know each other that well as yet,” she said. “I’m…I’m not like the other women you’ve been with.”
He felt the sting of her disapproval down to his bones, but he also heard the thread of regret in her words.
“Maxine, just answer me this one question. If I hadn’t been sleeping around when you met me, would you still reject me?”
She looked up at him with a frown, and Ev tried not to be impatient as she decided how to answer him. He thought it was a fairly simple question, but apparently she didn’t. Who knew with this woman? He bit his tongue and held on to his patience.
“I’m not rejecting you, Ev,” she said, surprising him. “I’m just…slowing you down.”
“Why? Do you think it’ll change the way I feel if we go slower?”
“It’ll change the way I feel,” she said immediately.
“And how is that? How do you feel, Maxine?”
He wanted desperately to pull her all the way into his body, to let her feel how he was feeling, but he resisted the urge. He wanted to win this battle, not lose the whole damn war. She tried to pull away from him, but he held her firmly, being careful not to hurt her.
“Tell me. At least give me that. Don’t hide from me.”
She sighed in resignation, but refused to look him in the eyes as she said, “I can’t think straight around you. You make me think things. Want things. I don’t like feeling so out of control.”
Now more than ever, Ev needed to hold himself in check, though all he wanted to do was drag her body into his and kiss her until she surrendered to his desires. He took a deep breath to calm himself and said, still holding her by the arms,
“Do you think you’re the only one struggling to keep control here? If you do, you’re wrong. I’m a thirty-nine year-old man, not a boy, but I can’t seem to rein in this need I have to see you, to hear you, to touch you.”
She looked up at him then, her eyes burning with questions he knew she would never ask. So he told her.
“I want to do really inappropriate things to you, Maxine. All the time. And yes, I know we’ve known each other less than two weeks, and this is only our third date. But why do you think I had it here, in my house, with a child and his nanny in tow? It wasn’t to show you what a great family guy I am. It was for my sanity. And even still, I’m fighting not to push you up against that wall and kiss the shit out of you. So don’t go thinking you’re the only one struggling here.”
He let her go then, because he was back to trembling with desires she wasn’t ready to help him deal with. He couldn’t hold her and not kiss her, and she had just refused him. He was not going to be rejected twice.
“Go back into the living room,” he told her, his voice harsh with unfulfilled need. “I’ll finish cleaning up.
When she opened her mouth to protest, he barked at her. “For chrissake, Maxine, just get the hell out of the kitchen!”
Ev clenched his fists and waited until she walked out before releasing the breath he’d been holding and turning to the sink. He was angry with himself for being in the position of wanting a woman who didn’t trust him. And he was hurt by her rejection, and angry with her for not seeing that he wasn’t the same asshole who fucked women to ease his pain. And above all, he was pissed that he couldn’t get a hold of his raging libido around her, and instead had made a fool of himself.
He tried not to bang the things he was washing, but he knew he hadn’t succeeded when Jeff came in to ask if everything was okay.
“If you want, I can finish up in here and you can go entertain your guest,” he offered.
“No, it’s okay. I’m almost done. Thanks, Jeff.” He turned to look at the young man. “It’ll soon be time for Danny’s bath before bed. You’ll have enough to do then. I’ll be out there in a few.”
Ev knew the young man had to have questions about Maxine, but he was polite and understood he’d have to keep them to himself. They weren’t friends, though Ev wished he had a friend around to talk to right now. He finished up quickly, wiped down the counters and dried his hands. Then, to give himself more time, he served four plates with a slice of brownie and whipped cream and put a fork on each plate. Then he poured two glasses of milk — a small one for Danny, and a larger one for Jeff, whom he had discovered loved milk — and two glasses of wine for himself and Maxine. He took everything into the living room on a tray.
“Dessert’s up,” he said. “Thank you, Maxine.” Even her name on his tongue was too much right now. He swallowed. “Help yourselves.”
Jeff took a plate for himself and Danny, and pulled the little boy closer to him so he could help him with his treat. Maxine reached for a plate and a glass, and Ev was careful to wait until she sat back in the chair before picking up his own.
“Yum!”
Danny was clearly enthusiastic about the treat, and Ev had to agree. It was delicious. But he said nothing. Jeff relieved the silence with his own praise.
“This is great, Dr. Cousins! Best brownie I’ve ever had!”
She smiled, and Ev’s body stirred. Damn! This was not going well. He gulped some wine and stuffed another forkful of brownie and whipped cream into his mouth.
“Thank you, Jeff. I learned that recipe from my mother before she died. She was a great baker, and she’s the reason I love baked treats so much. I used to help her bake.”
Jeff smiled. “Seems like your second career is just waiting in the wings for you to retire from this one,” he said. “Any time you set up shop, let me know. I’ll be your first customer.”
“That’s very sweet of you, Jeff,” she said, that dimpled smile flashing out again. “I’ll definitely bear it in mind.” Then she turned to Ev, as though she didn’t like that he wasn’t part of the conversation. “I was just asking Jeff who plays the guitar.”
He had settled himself into the big leather recliner by the fireplace. She pointed to the beautiful highly-polished box guitar leaning on its stand next to the bass guitar by the window.
“I used to.” His voice sounded rusty, as though he hadn’t used it in a long time. He cleared his throat, and readied himself to make more small talk.
“Used to?”
He had known the question was inevitable. “I don’t have any time these days to play.”
He did not say he used to play so Dani would sing with him. He didn’t say that that was how they’d met. He didn’t say that at one time in his young life he had wanted to be in a band. He didn’t say anything to start a conversation that would rake up memories he would much rather leave dormant. Because these days, memories of Dani inevitably brought with them thoughts of Maxine, and he knew he had to curtail those thoughts until she was ready to let him in. He couldn’t torture himself anymore. He could be patient, and he could show her in the meantime that he was no longer that man that she despised, even if she had not said the words.
She looked over at him as though he had spoken aloud, and Jeff chose that moment to say,
“Come on, little one, let’s go get ready for your bath. Which pj’s do you wanna wear tonight?”
He picked up his cane, which was always leaning close to him and reached out a hand to Danny, who rose to take it, saying, as they walked off, “Spiderman!”
Ev watched them leave and inhaled several deep breaths to steel himself for the rest of the time that Maxine would be in his house, mere feet away from him, and as inaccessible as the moon and the stars.
“I guess that’s my cue to leave,” she said, putting her plate and glass back on the tray. She had barely had any of the wine. “Thanks for inviting me over for dinner. I had a good time.”
She stood up, so Ev did, too, and walked with her to where she had hung her suit jacket. He helped her into it, being careful still to avoid touching her, and when she was ready, she turned to him, her eyes full of heated emotion.
“I know I’ve upset you, Ev,” she said, “and I’m sorry. That really was the last thing I wanted to do. I just…I just need some time. Okay? Just give me a little more time to get used to this…this feeling.”
Ev could see that she was fighting the same desires that he was. It was there in her eyes, in the way her lips trembled slightly, in the way her gaze slid down to his mouth and then back up to catch the hunger in his own that he knew he couldn’t hide from her.
“Call me?” He hoped he didn’t sound as needy as he felt.
She took a shuddering breath as they drew closer. “Yes,” she said, and looked at his mouth one more time.
It was too much. “Jesus, Maxine, just go! Now!”
She turned away and headed to the door. He moved ahead of her to open it for her, and his chest brushed against her arm. He bit back the hiss of awareness and watched her pass through and walk down the steps to her car. He followed her to the top of the steps and when she turned and waved before driving off, he raised a hand and waved back.
“Drive safely!”
She smiled. “I will.”
He stuck his hands in the back pockets of his slacks and watched her drive down the long driveway and out onto the road. He stayed there till her car lights disappeared before going back inside. He had to clear his head. It would soon be time for Danny’s bedtime story. He needed to get his head in gear. Lust and desire for Maxine Cousins had no place in his son’s bedroom. He cleared away the dessert things and went in to Danny.