Chapter Twenty-One
This was the fourth night in a row that Asa had come home hours after his shift had ended. He’d been secretive and distant. Whenever she’d ask him about it, he’d just simply tell her that he had things to do without elaborating. She didn’t understand what could make him be this way toward her when everything else between them was going great.
Jamie was convinced that her worst nightmares were coming true and Asa was seeing someone else. She couldn’t eat or sleep properly and her stomach was in knots when she thought about it. Last night, he’d even slept at the hospital because he claimed they were short staffed. They hadn’t even made love in the past few days which was odd because Asa was insatiable.
A tear slid down Jamie’s cheek as she microwaved the leftover pasta she’d made for dinner the night before. A dinner that Asa didn’t bother to come home to. She sat down at the kitchen table with her plate and a book. But after several minutes of trying to read, she grew frustrated because the words seemed jumbled and she was starting to develop a headache from trying. That’s how stressed she was.
Even her meal wasn’t that enjoyable. She could barely taste a thing. She gave up all together after a few bites. Just as she was about to put her plate away, she heard the front door open and the beep of the alarm code being entered.
She tensed. Would he pretend everything was all right or would Asa make up some excuse about why he was so late without an explanation?”
He walked into the kitchen and smiled at her but it was hard to get excited to see him when she had been thinking of the worst-case scenario just minutes earlier.
“There’s my beautiful lady.” He pulled her out of her seat to give her a kiss but Jamie turned her head in time for his lips to graze her cheek.
He narrowed his gaze. “Is there a problem?”
“I don’t know, Asa. You tell me.”
“What’s the matter?”
She pulled away from him. “I think you know.”
“If I did, I wouldn’t be asking. Jamie, we all have our bad days but I need you to drop the attitude or are you looking to be punished? Is that it? You want to be put over daddy’s lap and have your ass paddled so hard when you sit down, all you’ll think about is me?”
Jamie pushed him away. This wasn’t something that could be fixed with sex and she refused to be fobbed off or distracted just because Asa didn’t want to talk about it. “No. You don’t get to pretend like you haven’t been acting strange these last few days. I understand how important your job is but you get home way past the time your shift ends with no explanation. Now, I don’t mind your forceful personality and that you like to take control. But outside of the bedroom, I deserve the same respect you would give anyone else. And, I believe I’m owed an explanation.”
“I already told you, the hospital has been short staffed since one of the doctors left abruptly. You remember Dr. Nguyen, don’t you?”
Jamie furrowed her brow in confusion. “Yes, what about her?”
“She’s the doctor who left.”
Jamie was surprised to hear that. From what she could tell of the other woman, Dr. Nguyen was an ambitious woman. Even if she got a lucrative position elsewhere, it seemed strange that she’d burn her bridges by leaving her position without proper notice. That was a no-no in any field. Even when she’d left the custodial department at the hospital, she’d given two weeks’ notice. The bright side, however, was that the staff would no longer be terrorized by that horrible woman.
Still, it didn’t let Asa entirely off the hook. “It’s not just the last nights. Something is different about you. Something scary. You get this distant cold look in your eyes…I’m beginning to think that maybe you don’t want me anymore. I think you’re seeing someone behind my back.”
“I don’t play games, Jamie. If I didn’t want you, I’d tell you which I wouldn’t because I’ll always want you. You’re mine forever. There’s no other woman because I don’t want anyone else. If you believe nothing else, then believe that.”
“Then explain what’s going on. We’ve been together for over a year now and there are times when I still feel I don’t know you.”
“I’m not sure you can handle the real me.”
Something dark flickered in his eyes momentarily, making her take a step back. “What are you trying to tell me?”
“You see, I haven’t told you anything yet and you’re already trembling.”
When she realized she was in fact shaking, she wrapped her arms around her body. “You just look so…intense.”
“Is that what you call it?”
“Look, Asa, there shouldn’t be any secrets between us and I feel like you’re keeping a big one from me. And, its tearing me apart.” Jamie hastily wiped away a tear. “Just tell me okay? I love you and want to know whatever it is you’re hiding.”
“If I told you, it could get you in trouble. The less you know, the better.”
She’d had enough. “You say you don’t play games, yet you’re giving me the runaround.” She turned to leave the room, no longer wanting to participate in a futile conversation.
Asa grabbed her by the elbow and spun her back around. “Don’t walk away from me.” A grim expression crossed his face. “I said, I’d always protect you and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
She shook her head. “What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything I just said?”
Asa raised a brow. “Do you really want to know what I’ve been up to these past several days?”
“I wouldn’t have asked, if I didn’t.”
“You have a minute to think about this. I want you to think long and hard because once we go down this rabbit hole, there’s no coming back.”
“That sounds ominous.”
“58 seconds.” He started the timer on his smart watch.
Why was he acting so strange? What was he hiding? “Asa, is it really that serious? Why can’t you just come right out and tell me?”
“45 seconds.”
Jamie stared at him open-mouthed as the timer counted down. Once it beeped, he clicked the side of his watch. “Time’s up. Are you certain you want to know?”
“Yes,” she said slowly a lot more unsure than she was the first time he’d asked her. Now, there seemed to be some sinister element to whatever it was Asa didn’t want her to know.
“Get your shoes on. I won’t tell you. I’ll show you. But just know, whatever happens, you’re still mine.”
His declaration sent goosebumps up and down her arms. “Why can’t you—”
“Get your goddamn shoes, Jamie. You wanted to know and now, you’re going to fucking know everything about me.”
* * *
The car ride to wherever Asa was taking her was done in complete silence. He, obviously, didn’t want to talk and she was too scared to ask any more questions. Every so often, she would sneak glances at him but Asa kept his gaze trained firmly on the road.
Part of her wanted to tell him that she changed her mind but they had already set on a course that there was no coming back from, one that Jamie believed would change their relationship forever. Could she have just turned a blind eye and pretend that everything was all right? Or would she grow even more suspicious of his activities as time went on until it consumed her? She didn’t want to be one of those jealous girlfriends who looked through his phone or demanded to know where he was every second of the day. She didn’t want to follow him around because she didn’t trust him. Jamie simply couldn’t live like that. It was because of the latter that it was necessary for her to know.
As the drive continued, Jamie grew restless. She noticed that they’d been on the road for nearly an hour. “Are we almost there?” she finally broke down unable to take the tense quiet in the car.
“Shortly.” His answer was curt and he didn’t bother to look in her direction.
He’d never been this way toward her before and she almost wished she hadn’t made such a fuss. Almost. Jamie had to tell herself that this wasn’t her fault. Whatever Asa was up to, was on him.
She folded her hands in her lap and stared out the window. They were miles outside of the city and lots of farmland now surrounded them. Jamie thought she made out some cows sleeping in a field but she couldn’t tell because it was so dark. The lack of street lights was freaking her out and she felt as if she’d stepped into the beginning of a horror movie.
She glanced over at Asa again. What was behind that poker face of his? The longer they stayed on the road, the more nervous she grew. Finally, when she didn’t think they could go any further into the abyss, Asa turned his vehicle down a dirt road. Her fear was renewed.
They drove another quarter of a mile before they came to what looked like an old cabin. It was dark so the only light was the moon and stars that peeked through the trees that surrounded them. She didn’t want to get out of the car.
Asa parked and got out of the vehicle. He came to her side of the car and opened her door. That was one thing that hadn’t changed since they’d been together, he always opened doors for her.
“This cabin used to belong to my father. He used to come up here to fish, hunt and conduct his extra marital affairs discretely,” he spoke so casually, he could have been discussing the weather.”
“This is where you’ve been coming?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you just say so?”
He paused for several seconds before responding.“It’s not that simple. While we’re here, I may as well give you the tour.” Asa took her by the hand and led her to the door. It was so still and eerie out here. The sounds of mysterious animals could be heard all about them.
She moved closer to him.
“There’s no need to be afraid. It’s mostly deer, raccoons and small critters.”
“What about bears?”
“This area gets them occasionally but they usually don’t bother people unless they’re searching for food.”
“Gee, that’s reassuring.”
“When I said I’d never allow anything to happen to you, I meant it.” He fumbled with the keys he took from his pocket and opened the door.
Jamie didn’t want to step inside because she couldn’t see anything ahead of her. As if sensing her hesitation, Asa went in first and he flipped a switch. She had to blink in order for her eyes to adjust to the flood of light that now illuminated the room.
To her surprise, the cabin wasn’t as primitive as she thought it would be. In fact, there were several modern touches, from the tasteful furniture to the updated appliances. She could actually see this as a cozy little weekend getaway.
“Have a seat, Jamie.” It wasn’t request and they both knew it.
She nervously sat down on the plush leather sofa. She licked her lips with the tip of her tongue. “This place is nice. I can see why you want to escape to it from time to time even though it’s in the middle of nowhere.”
“It’s because it is in the middle of nowhere that I come out here. I hate this place and if I had my way, I’d burn it down.”
“That’s an odd thing to say. If you dislike it so much, then why don’t you just sell the property? I’m sure a bunch of nature enthusiasts would love it here, especially if they’re looking for some peace and quiet.”
“I could never sell it because this place holds too many secrets that are better left buried.”
The way he emphasized certain words in that statement made Jamie think there was some kind of hidden meaning there. Maybe she was just being paranoid.
“What kind of secrets?”
“You wanted to know the truth, so let me start out by telling you a little more about me. The side of me that I didn’t want you to find out about until much later. But, you’ve blossomed. I see the change in you since we’ve met. You’re more confident and have direction in your life. You don’t allow your brokenness to hinder you anymore.”
“Thank you?” Jamie wasn’t sure if he was complimenting her or not. His tone was so deadpan which made it hard for her to discern.
“I’ve already told you that I had the seemingly perfect family. My father was touted as some kind of hero in his field because of the countless lives he saved. People looked up to him, wanted to be him. But, he was a different man behind closed doors. He wanted to mold me into his image. My first real memory was of my father telling me how I would never be good enough to carry the Stansfield name. The first time I brought home a disappointing grade, I was in the second grade. At that age, we didn’t get grades, just O’s for Outstanding. G- for Good. S for satisfactory and N for Needs Improvement. I didn’t possess the greatest penmanship at that age, so I got an S.”
“My father didn’t accept anything less than an O. So, he took my writing hand which was the left one at the time, told me to put it on the floor, palm down. I didn’t know what he had planned, until he stomped on my hand crushing it. He told me that if couldn’t get it right with that hand, I have to start over with the other.”
“Oh, my God, that sounds awful!” Jamie’s heart went out to him. That almost sounded like some of the torture her father had put her through.
“Oh, my God, is right. And while I cried and screamed in agony, he told me to shut up or else he’d really give me something to carry on about. Then, he made me sit at the desk in my room and practice my handwriting with my right hand. I wasn’t allowed to get up until what I’d written was satisfactory. All the while, my hand hurt to the point where it felt like I would pass out. But, he didn’t care. He demanded perfection.
“Lucky for me, he was a doctor. When he deemed my work acceptable, he set my hand and gave me some pain meds and wrapped it up. Unlucky for me, is that he was a doctor. He had some kind of rapport with several doctors in the area. When he took me to the orthopedic specialist, he knew his friend wouldn’t ask questions about the accidents I’d frequently have. There was really no rhyme or reason why he did those things to me. He was just a sick, sadistic bastard who got off on hurting me. All throughout my childhood and teen years, I had to be the best at everything or accept the consequences. I can’t tell you how many times my nose has been broken. This isn’t my first nose. My father shattered it so often that it had to be reconstructed because I had trouble breathing.
“I’ve had several teeth capped because he knocked them out for my hanging out with kids he deemed unacceptable. I hated that man from the depths of my soul, but I had to pretend to love him in public because it was the image he wanted everyone to see. Our family wasn’t perfect. It was so fractured and warped, I would have traded places with any number of kids in my school even though they envied me for the things I had. I would have gladly given them away just to feel safe in my own home.”
Jamie covered her mouth with her hands. Her heart went out to him and all that he’d suffered. She would have gotten off the couch and given him a hug but he told the story with no emotion as if it had happened to someone else.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. No need for you to apologize.”
“That’s just awful. At least with my father, I could almost rationalize why he did the things he’d done. I was a constant reminder of his affair that he wanted buried under the rug. But you, you were your father’s son. He had no reason to hurt you like that.”
Asa shrugged. “Like I said, he was just an evil son of a bitch, who didn’t drink or do drugs. I don’t know if my grandfather abused him and it was just a cycle that had yet to be broken but it doesn’t matter the reason. What does matter, is that he did it in the first place. He wore a mask for all the world to see but the truth is, he was a monster. The night of his death something in me snapped, something as dark and ugly as him. I fought him with all my might and then he went tumbling down the stairs. I was happy he was dead, and that I’d killed him.”
Jamie shook her head. “Asa…that was self-defense. You didn’t murder him.”
“I’m not going to excuse what I did because of a technicality. The thing is, had I not fought him, he probably wouldn’t have had his accident and he’d be alive today. But, I did and he’s dead. I have no remorse. He was a monster. He didn’t deserve to live. I stood over his body as it grew cold, happy that he was gone. I found that I actually liked the idea that he died by my hand. I’d slayed him and in that moment a monster hunter was born. There have been others since him, other monsters.”
A chill raced through Jamie’s body. “What are you talking about?”
“He wasn’t the only monster I took out. In fact, this leads me to why we’re here in the first place. It’s time for you to see something.”
Asa walked toward her and held out his hand.
Did he juts confess to murdering people and expect her to be okay with it?
“Take my hand,” he ordered when she hesitated.
Jamie considered making a run for it but where would she go? They were in the middle of nowhere and she wouldn’t begin to know where to run without getting lost. She put her hand in his, hoping that she wasn’t his next victim. She couldn’t stop shaking.
“You look frightened. You’d be the last person I’d ever harm.” Asa pulled her off the couch and led her out to the cabin.
Once they were outside, instinct made her attempt to pull her hand out of his grip but he held on tighter. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Jamie felt as if she’d piss her pants. “Please, Asa,” she begged feeling like she was on the verge of a panic attack. He took her to the back of the cabin. Standing several feet away was something that looked like a shed. He produced his keys again and unlocked the door.
Asa then turned on the on the lights.
Jamie let out a scream of horror at what she saw. Sitting in the middle of the
shed, tied up and bloodied, was her father.