I should have never come back. It took all my restraint to not kiss her today. But my anger at the way she looks at me, is enough to make Piper understand I’m no longer the boy who walked away. I can feel her pain when I bite out my responses at her.

She’s always been an empath, feeling my pain and agony, but this time, we swapped roles and I hated every moment. I don’t want to hurt her, I don’t want her to break even more than she did the day I left.

Shoving the door to my apartment open, I step inside to find Jeremiah and Preston already settled on my sofa, both gripping PlayStation controls like their lives depend on it. The speakers screech and I recognize the sound of cars racing.

“Shit,” Preston grunts. “Fuck, Jeremiah, stop being an asshole.” He sways toward our best friend and I can’t help chuckling. I’ve known both of them nearly all my life, and I couldn’t have asked for better friends. Even though we’d fucked up on occasions in the past, we still stood by each other.

“Pres, why don’t you get your ass out of my way.” Jer chuckles, and a loud crash thrums through the speakers. It’s been a long while since that sound would send me spiraling.

“Are you two fucking up my high score?” I question, sitting my ass on the armchair, far from the couch where both guys are practically shoving each other off the cushions.

“Jeremiah’s being a pussy ass bitch as usual.” One thing about Piper’s brother is that he loves cussing. If he could’ve gotten a degree in it, he would’ve.

“Yeah, sure, Pres,” Jer announces. “And I’m the one losing, am I?”

“Fuck off,” Preston bites out, tapping the buttons as if hitting them harder would make a difference to the game.

Shaking my head, I rise and head into the kitchen. “Did you guys fill my fucking fridge with beer?” Silence meets my question and I can’t help the frustration flowing through me.

“There’s soda in the bottom drawer,” Jeremiah finally responds, and I find a neat stack of cans in a corner. “Can you grab me a drink please, bro?”

“Yeah.” I instinctively take two cans, along with my soda, to the living room to find my friends sitting back, the game on pause and both sets of eyes on me. “What?”

“How was school?” Preston asks, cracking open the can. I know what he means, how is Piper, but he doesn’t voice the question.

“It was fine. Kids are damn good for being ten-year-olds.” I watch them watch me and I wait for it. Both Preston and Jeremiah know about Piper’s crush on me, and they also both know I’ve held a forbidden flame for her for years. Only, Preston’s never given me his blessing to come back and be with his sister. Not that I deserve it, because everything I touch turns to fucking ash. And Piper is far too precious for me to burn with my sins.

“And your little blonde?” Jeremiah takes the chance to ask me, their eyes searing me with unasked questions.

“She’s okay. Doing a great job with the class.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Ryder,” Preston smirks, sipping his beer. “I know you have the hots for my sister. Everyone knows it. So don’t sit there and tell me it was just like any other day.”

“It was. I told you, Pres, I’m not back here to start a fucking relationship.”

“You didn’t tell her, did you?” He shakes his head, the guilt eating away at me because he’s right. I should’ve told her the moment I returned, but I’m too much of a fuck-up to confess what I did.

“Why would I tell her?”

He glares at me, anger simmering just below those blue-green eyes that are a mixture of mine and Pipers, a strange mix, but they’re unique to Preston.

“What?” I take a swig of my soda, ignoring his penetrating stare.

“Just wondering why you’re so fucking scared to tell her. Piper is not going to judge you for what happened. If anything, she should blame me.” He’s right, but that doesn’t mean shit to me right now.

“Play the fucking game, asshole.” I tip my can toward the television.

“Preston is right, man,” Jeremiah offers. “She’s a sweet girl, she loves you, and there’s nothing that is going to make her change her mind or her heart for that matter.”

“Fuck off, Jer. Don’t talk about my sister being in love.” Preston acting like a big brother is strange, which only makes Jeremiah and me chuckle.

“I’m dead serious, Ry,” he tells me, his dark brown eyes locked on my green ones.

“Doesn’t matter,” I tell them both, “she’s out of my league.”

“Too fucking right, she is.” Preston nods, and I can’t help chucking a cushion at his head in frustration.

“Fuck you, Pres.”

“You wish,” he retorts, taking a long gulp of his drink. Turning his attention on me, his expression turns serious, before he continues. “You need to tell her.”

“Yeah, I know.” My response is sobering in so many ways because I know I need to come clean. She has to know what I’ve done, what I’ve been through, and I need to tell her why I never came back for her eighteenth birthday. I broke a promise and that guilt will sit heavily in my gut forever.