After dealing with the condom, Lance headed to the kitchen, telling Jade to stay in bed. Eschewing the tray, he loaded plates high with some of the food the ladies brought over. Grapes, cheese, cold cuts, and crackers piled alongside hummus and chips. Snagging two bottles of water, he hurried back into the bedroom, hating to be away from her side.

Hobbling out of the bathroom wearing a light robe, Jade’s eyes widened as she crawled back into bed and watched Lance carry plates of food over to her. Grinning, she settled against the headboard, making her lap available for a plate. The cold food was perfect and she popped a couple of grapes into her mouth.

“This is such a good idea,” she said, reaching for the cheese and crackers.

Lance arranged himself on the bed, his back against several pillows, and faced her with the plates close by. They were silent for a few minutes, each busy nibbling. Finding he wanted to learn more about her, he hesitated, acknowledging that if he asked her questions it would open himself up to the same. Sucking in a deep breath, he realized his desire to truly know Jade outweighed his desire for privacy.

“Can I ask you a question? It’s personal and I don’t want you to feel like you have to answer,” he began.

Jerking her eyes to his, she smiled. “Honey, you can ask anything you want. We just made love and confessed that it meant something to both of us. As far as I’m concerned, you can ask anything you want.”

Nodding slowly, he said, “Well, I noticed you gave your mom’s phone number as the emergency contact at the hospital, but you didn’t seem to want to talk to her.”

Shaking her head, she lifted a napkin to wipe her mouth, and said, “I’m afraid I’m a huge disappointment to my parents…so much so, we are not currently speaking much. Well, I suppose that’s not entirely true…they speak, saying the same thing over and over. I think that my mom is sure if she berates me enough, I’ll come running back home.”

Not the answer he expected, his brow furrowed in unspoken curiosity.

Licking her lips, she continued, “I guess you might as well know, my parents have money…quite a bit of money. As a child, I never thought about it. You know how, as a kid, normal is what you are exposed to? Well, I had an exclusive private school education, horseback riding lessons, and even learned to play the violin…although not well,” she added with a laugh. “But as part of our high school’s community service project, I went with my grandfather to work at a homeless shelter and, I’m embarrassed to admit, I was stunned. Somehow, I saw homelessness as a problem of adults and not of children. When I saw the children in line for food, it broke my heart.” Cocking her head to the side, she amended, “No…not broke my heart…it gave me my heart. It was a pivotal moment because I knew I wanted to work with children who needed me.”

“So, is that why you went into education?”

Nodding, she smiled. “I went to college here in Virginia and, while it was a major battle with my parents, they finally accepted that I had no interest in a business major, majoring in education instead.”

“If they accepted the college major, then why are you not speaking?”

Popping another grape into her mouth, she chewed thoughtfully for a moment before answering. Sighing, she said, “My father, unbeknownst to me, arranged a teaching position at a private school. I should say, an expensive, exclusive, best-of-the-best kind of school. But, I had already been in search of a system that was desperate for teachers.”

Jade became distracted by Lance’s lips closing over a cracker piled high with hummus and the way his mouth worked as he chewed.

He swallowed and looked at her, prompting, “Jade?”

Blinking rapidly, she blushed as she shook her head slightly. “Sorry, but you eating is so sexy.”

Barking out a laugh, he leaned forward and placed a swift kiss on her lips. “Go on, I want to hear more.”

“Okay, well, I investigated the school systems in North Carolina and Virginia and looked for the poorest counties. In Virginia, I discovered North Heron is the poorest, or almost the poorest. I also checked out the public schools here and found there was a huge need for qualified teachers. The pay isn’t great but there are grants available. So, I came out to visit. Stayed at the Sea Glass Inn. Met Tori. Visited the school and checked out Baytown. That was it…I knew I had found home.”

Lance watched her animated face as she spoke of moving to Baytown and thought of the similarities in their backgrounds. Well, up to a point. She embraced life and her new environment, while he used it as a place to hide.

“And your parents? I take it they aren’t happy with the choice you made?”

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. “Hardly. As far as they’re concerned, I am wasting my life here and can’t stand that I am doing my own thing and doing it my way.”

He noted her faraway expression and stayed quiet, letting her gather her thoughts.

“You know,” she finally said, “it really bothers me that they act like I’m being a rebellious child. My decision was well thought out, planned, executed, and more importantly…I’m happy. But that’s not important to them. They are more worried with how my career choice reflects on them and, as far as they’re concerned, it does not reflect well.”

“So, do you have any contact with them at all?” he asked, thinking of the similarities in their families.

“We call and email occasionally…most recently because my mom saw me on the news. That was a mess. But, usually, it’s just them asking when I’m going to stop working in the backwaters of Virginia and come back to Northern Virginia.” Seeing his brows lift, she quickly added, “But I’m not. I’m happy here. I plan on making my home permanently in Baytown.”

“You said the pay isn’t good? Will that make a difference?”

Scrunching her nose, she said, “It’s not so good. But, my car is paid for and I got a great deal on my attic apartment.”

They fell silent for another moment, still snacking on the food he brought in. Chewing a cube of cheese, she lifted her gaze to his and said, “I want to ask you about how you ended up here, but I feel like that would be intrusive. I just want you to know that you can tell me anything, but you don’t have to. I respect your desire for privacy.”

“I want to tell you,” he rushed, thinking if he spoke quickly it might make the punch to his gut easier.

Peering at him closely, Jade observed the panic in his eyes and began to shake her head. “Lance, no…this night was too special to ruin it by too much talking—”

“No, don’t you see?” he asked, sitting up straighter, so that his body was facing hers, close enough their legs touched. “Tonight is the perfect time because of what we shared.”

Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, she nodded slowly, allowing him to say whatever he wanted to say.

Dropping his gaze to their plates for a moment, he sucked in a deep breath before letting it out in a long sigh. With a rueful chuckle, he said, “The truth is that our families seem to be somewhat alike. My parents are also wealthy. My dad cares more about his next portfolio conquest than he does about being an honest businessman. My mom is too used to the cocktail hour at the country club to be involved in anything else. Oh, she likes charities…as long as all she has to do it write a check so her name is on the donor list for everyone to see.”

Lifting his eyes, he admitted, “Me telling you this has a déjà vu feeling. I just told Mitch this story the other day. Anyway, Dad always planned for me to graduate from high school, attend his former university, and join his investing firm. But in ninth grade, I watched the Twin Towers fall and knew I was destined for another calling. Dad hated it, but as soon as I turned eighteen years old, I joined the Army. I went into the military police and eventually attended the Criminal Special Agent school. Was assigned to the Criminal Investigative team. Not only did I find my calling as an investigator, but doing it for the Army was everything to me.”

“And your family?” she asked softly.

Shaking his head, he said, “Dad cut me off completely, thinking that if I didn’t have his money I’d come running back. Instead, it just solidified my resolve.” Shrugging, he added, “I’ve got some money from a trust my grandfather left me. I don’t need it, but it’s there…just to keep my dad pissed probably. Anyway, his firm expanded and he and my mom moved to Florida before I got out of the Army. Which was for the best, really. Distance. I got a job in Richland working Vice for a few years, then came here.”

Jade’s face had relaxed, watching the animation in his expression as he told her about his early years, but after relaying his history with his parents his face closed off. “Why Baytown? How did you end up here?”

“Mitch invited me,” came his instinctive, short response. Lance jerked his eyes to her face and shook his head. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

She reached out her hand and placed it on his arm, her touch gentling him.

“Jade, this is the part that I’ve told no one but my counselor.” Seeing her eyes widen, he hastened to add, “Yes, I finally went to talk to someone…mostly to get Ginny off my back.”

Smiling slightly at the idea of Ginny hounding him, Jade said, “Then you know you don’t have to share with me. We’re good, no matter what.”

Shaking his head, he replied, “That’s just it though. Keeping it to myself hasn’t made it any better. Hasn’t kept the nightmares away. Hasn’t given me peace. Sure as hell hasn’t made me a better man.” Struggling to find the right words, he added, “I think that maybe that’s what this comes down to. I want to be the man I was before everything went to hell. And becoming a recluse didn’t do that.” She flinched at his choice of words but, holding her gaze for a moment, the current zipping between them, he lifted his hand and cupped her cheek. “Meeting you…coming to care for you…it’s made me want to find who I am again.”

Nodding, she simply leaned her head into his hand, loving the feel of his fingers caressing her cheek. She closed her eyes, only for a moment, as she reveled in his warmth against her skin. Slowly he slid his hand from her face and she opened her eyes once more, steeling herself for whatever he was going to confess.

“As CID…we investigated criminal activities. Sometimes…well, often…we worked in less than optimum conditions.” Sighing, he said, “It’s hard to explain and I know you probably don’t—”

“Stop,” she ordered gently. “Don’t think about what you think I do or don’t want to hear. Just talk…just let it out.”

Puffing out his cheeks as he blew out a breath of air, he nodded. “When you think of police here in the states, you think in terms of them investigating crimes and having the upper hand. But in the military, we had a job where we were dedicated to investigating crimes but our hands were tied. They shouldn’t have been,” he added quickly, “but it was murky waters we had to wade through. We were mostly enlisted personnel and sometimes had to investigate officers, who hated like hell to answer questions from us. When we went into a camp we weren’t exactly greeted as friends…it was as though we were the enemy. And the fact that we wore the same uniform as the people we were investigating didn’t matter. It was them against us.”

“Can I ask what kind of crimes were happening? I guess I’ve always had such a red-white-and-blue image of our soldiers in war times.”

He held her eyes for a moment and said, “A lot of times, that’s exactly the image that fits. But, sweetheart, there are all kinds of people. Some who should never have taken the uniform to begin with. Some who were just opportunistic. And others who were lured into criminal activities by stronger personalities.”

“I know Ginny had problems that she told us about. Problems with sexual harassment and even a whole investigation into soldiers who hid cameras in the women soldiers’ showers.”

Nodding, he said, “Exactly. That’s exactly the kind of thing we investigated. Also, there’s a lot of buying and selling on the black market. A shit ton of our weapons ended up in the hands of the enemy ‘cause some soldier wanted to make some money. Drugs. Stealing. Sexual assault. Whatever you find in the worst of society in the civilian world, you have it in the military. Thank God, that’s not most…but enough that I always had a job to do.”

“And you loved that job,” she stated, already knowing it was fact.

“Hell, yeah. I loved the military. Considered those men and women to be my family. And that’s why I worked to weed out the bad apples, ‘cause the good service men and women deserved the best. We weren’t always popular when we went into a place, because when you’re investigating, you have to prod, pry, and turn over every stone. But my squad was the best. We set record after record for cases solved.” Smiling, he added, “Jose was my best friend…right hand on all the investigations. Married, with two kids. Best of the best. Chuck, Matt, Dominic, Rusty…all the best.”

She watched his face, so full of pride, the creases from his eyes softening for a moment as the good memories slid over him. But something happened…something that changed him. Both scared to find out what it was and desperately wanting him to unburden himself, she waited patiently until he was ready.

“My team and I were sent to one of the outer camps in Afghanistan to investigate a report of stolen weapons being sold to locals who had the backing of the rebels. We helicoptered into the area and, of course, were greeted like we carried the plague—”

“Why? I don’t understand,” she interrupted, her forehead furrowed in question.

“Money to be made. And, even if you’re not the one doing it, there’s a natural desire to protect your mates. So, someone reported it anonymously and we showed up, ready to find out everyone involved. The investigation was going, but it was really hard to get the ringleaders of the black market sales to crack. We finally got intel about who was buying the weapons and a group of us went out in armored vehicles to find out what we could.”

Shaking his head, Lance’s memories moved into the dark, murky waters he so tried to keep at bay.

Jade swallowed deeply, her heart pounding as she watched his hazel eyes morph into darkness. He moved his arm away from hers as he told his story, but she reached out to his leg, still stretched near hers on the bed, and placed her hand on him.

“We were set up. Our driver veered off the road at a strange point and jumped out. I was right next to him and tried to grab him as soon as the door opened. I fell out and rolled several feet, just as the transport ran over an IED. Fucking thing exploded right under us. Blew fire and metal in all directions, the noise deafening. I covered my head, still trying to keep the driver in my sights, knowing he had been part of the ambush. But there was no way…too much smoke…too much destruction. Jesus, the screams of my men.”

Lance jumped up from the bed, breath catching in his throat, his nakedness no longer comfortable. Stalking to the dresser, he pulled out a pair of cut-off sweat pants, jerking them over his legs before walking into the bathroom and closing the door.

Jade sat on the bed, the barely heard whir of the overhead fan circling the only noise in the room, besides her ragged breathing. Suddenly uncomfortable with her state of undress as well, she climbed off the bed and found her clothes lying on the floor. She managed, with difficulty, to get her panties and bra on, but her wrist hurt trying to do the buttons on the shirt. Seeing his drawer still open, she found a large t-shirt of his and pulled it over her head. Sucking her lips between her teeth, she stood for a long moment of indecision. She could not leave because she had no car, but then she realized she did not want to leave. She wanted to comfort him, but had no idea how he would respond, and did not want to make things worse.

Her gaze drifted from the closed bathroom door and back to the bed. She now hated that they had started the conversation there. What should have been nothing but an incredible memory of lovemaking in his comfortable bed, was now tainted by the horrible memories he dredged up there…at my suggestion. With a heavy sigh leaving her lungs, she winced and hobbled to the bed, picking up the plates, most of the food eaten. Making her way to the kitchen, she discarded the scraps and washed the plates in the sink.

The moon was hanging over the bay, visible from his screened porch. Pulled by some unknown force, she walked onto the porch, the sound of the gentle surf easing the pain in her chest. Standing, with her hand on the screen, she felt the breeze blow off the bay as the moon’s reflection painted the water’s surface with glittering diamonds. In the distance, she could see the lights from the cargo ships anchored in the bay and thought about the men and women who spent their careers on them. Sailing from shore to shore, country to country. Closing her eyes, she knew she was just trying to keep from thinking of Lance, the man who held her heart. The man whose pain was real and keeping him from moving forward.

Feeling a tear escape, she wiped the moisture from her cheek.

“Don’t cry for me,” came a rough voice from behind her.

Whirling around, she looked into Lance’s face, her heart now in her throat. “I’m so sorry, honey.”

He stepped closer, encircling her with his arms as she rested her cheek on his chest. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

“But I brought up all this terrible past for you and—”

“And nothing,” he shushed. “Babe, this past is always there. It’s been right there first thing every morning. And right there as I lay in bed at night, staring at the damn ceiling fan. It never leaves me. But, what I realized standing in the fucking bathroom, staring into the mirror, was that I’m sick and tired of carrying it by myself. Tired of letting it define who I am and what I do.”

She pulled back slightly to peer into his eyes, now hazel again in the moonlight, warm as they stared back at her. His gaze roamed over her face as his sigh washed over her skin.

“I love seeing you in my shirt, babe, but you shouldn’t be out here in the cold. Come on, let’s go back inside.”

She allowed him to lead her in, his arm supporting her as they walked. She hesitated in the living room, but he continued to guide her back toward the bedroom.

“Honey, maybe we should sit out here for a while.”

He looked down, his head tilted as he considered her words. “Any reason why?”

“I just thought maybe it would be better to talk out here…not on the bed.”

Another heavy sigh escaped his lips. “Shit.”

Eyes wide, she startled. “What?”

“Baby, we started talking in the place where we made love…the perfect place to learn more about each other. But when I got overwhelmed and afraid you would see things on my face I wasn’t ready for you to see, I fucked up that place.” Seeing her about to protest, he placed his fingers over her lips. “Don’t deny it, sweetheart. I can hear it in your voice.”

Turning his body so they were facing each other in the hall, he said, “Come on.” This time, he led her into the studio, flipping on a small light that gently illuminated the room, allowing the sea glass to sparkle all around. “This is where I need to finish my story. In here, where it will make sense.”