Five
I woke up to a burning, tearing pain.
I was on my back with my arms behind my back. I tried to pull them apart but realized they must have been bound together. My legs were pulled apart and they too, couldn’t be moved.
And then the source of my pain…
He was over me, in me, his big body clothed, yet still he was in me. I opened my mouth to scream but he put one of his big hands over my mouth, nearly covering my nose in the process. My eyes widened in fear.
This wasn’t happening.
He pulled back, his penis dragging in the tight friction.
“Not wet enough, girl,” he grunted. He leaned back, still in me and his hand still on my mouth, and reached for something beside me. I heard the pop of what must have been a cap, then felt a cold substance as he poured whatever was in that bottle between us. He tossed the bottle back down beside me and rubbed the cold, thick liquid between us, over him and through my folds. I squeezed my eyes shut.
If I closed them tight enough, maybe I could go somewhere else.
Be somewhere else.
Be someone else.
As he started to move in and out of me, his grunts and stale breath filling the air, I turned off my mind.
I didn’t want to be here. I wanted to be anywhere else.
He kept his hand over my mouth, sometimes pressing harder, the action pressing my lips hard into my teeth, but I fought to keep my mind elsewhere.
I was quickly thrust back into the here and now as his body stiffened over me. I could feel his penis throbbing inside as warmth filled me. And just like that, my body betrayed me yet again, bringing my own sex organs to a throb, my legs shaking and straining against their bounds for reasons other than fighting.
“Such a tight, beautiful pussy,” he murmured, pulling out of me.
Tears were again falling down my cheeks, tears I hadn’t felt burning behind my eyes. When his thickness left me, I was left sore and oddly feeling like something was missing, leaving behind a mess of wetness.
He stood then, stuffing his penis back in his pants and zipping them back up. He bent to the floor and returned to me, pressing an ice cold cloth to my vagina. He didn’t say another word, just completed his tasks with a joyful hum in his chest. My ankle restraints were undone and I quickly turned to my side, bringing my knees to my chest, which only caused him to chuckle.
On my side, he had access to my wrist bindings. Once released, I brought my arms in front of me, my clenched fists pressed into my lips. They were sore from being pulled behind my back for who knew how long.
God, how long had he been in here?
Even though my prayers had failed me before, I prayed that it hadn’t been much longer than his assault.
He placed my folded pajamas at the end of the bed but I was too numb, in too much shock, to reach for them. He lifted the comforter up from the base of the bed, bringing it up over my shoulders.
My eyes were squeezed shut and I muffled my cries behind my fists. I just needed him to leave.
Just go.
“Good night, Genna.”
I heard as he shuffled to the other side of the room, listening as the door clicked open.
He locked the door when he came in.
Before he could pull the door shut behind him again, I heard the bedroom door across the hall open.
Ryan.
“Hello, Ryan,” he said, my door clicking shut but if I strained, I could still hear.
“What were you doing in Genevieve’s room?”
“Just brought her some water. She called out. I’ll see you in the morning, Ry.”
The hall grew quiet but after a moment, the door to this bedroom opened. My heart immediately began racing. I didn’t bother opening my eyes, hoping that he would just leave.
Just fucking leave.
“You alright, Gen?”
Ryan.
“I’m fine,” I whispered into the dark.
I kept my eyes shut but I could feel him staring at me.
Please don’t be like your father. Please, God, don’t be like your father. I can’t…
After an antagonizing, long moment, Ryan finally said, “Alright. Good night, Genna.”
This time, the click was deafening.
***
I woke up to blood on my inner thighs.
Freaking out, I put my hand down there, but I wasn’t entirely sure what I was looking for. I needed to see someone, but how?
Thank God I was on birth control. It was one of the things that was urged to female foster kids to be taken, and was therefore something I didn’t need permission from the foster family to get.
I quickly showered and dressed, trying to avoid my reflection in the mirror but it was of no use. Eventually the fog lifted from the mirror and, staring back at me, was a shell of who I recognized.
My eyes, which had the ability to be a unique swirl of colors, were a dull, lifeless green. My skin was pale, my lips drawn in a thin line. I had bags and shadows under my eyes because I didn’t sleep anymore.
Being placed in this home was my own personal hell and it was wreaking havoc on my body and mind. I wasn’t entirely sure that I could last another week here, let alone three.
I needed the emancipation to go through.
And while it hadn’t been on my radar in the least bit two days ago, I wanted to join the Marine Corps. It would, at the very least, get me out of Tennessee.
I finger combed my wet hair back from my face and pulled it into a low messy bun and, before leaving the bathroom, placed a well-worn baseball cap on top of my head. I couldn’t wear it in school, no, but it would at least help keep my hair from frizzing on the walk there.
I placed my cell phone in my back jeans pocket and left the bathroom, going back to the bedroom I used. Near the door sat my backpack. I shouldered it and turned back, moving toward the stairs. I ran down them and quickly moved out the front door. Thankfully no one had been around to stop me today.
A block out, I pulled my phone out to text Marie.
Can you take me to a clinic?
I couldn’t very well tell her he assaulted me last night but I could come up with a story.
Marie’s text pinged back nearly instantaneously. Absolutely. Are you ill?
I bit my lip as I walked, unsure how to weave this story.
Condom broke last night I finally typed out, tears threatening. Hell, she and everyone else thought I was some promiscuous teenage hussy, so it worked.
Never mind the fact that last night was the first time a penis had ever entered me. I’d been no stranger to playing and taking things a little too far, but never had I gone all the way.
A sob caught in my chest and I shook my head. I was done fucking crying.
I took a deep, calming breath, looking up from my phone as I walked. When my phone binged with an incoming text, I chose to ignore it for a few minutes. I needed to clear my mind.
Finally, I looked to see her reply. Ok. Do you need to go right away or after school?
Ideally… Can you meet me before school?
Alright. I’ll meet you there in fifteen.
When she arrived, she came in with me to the office to inform them I would be arriving to my classes later, and drove me to the nearest clinic. I didn’t have a primary doctor but I was still able to be seen quickly at a walk-in.
Marie sat in the waiting room while I was seen. After, on the way back to school, she said into the otherwise quiet car, “Let’s go to an early lunch.”
I frowned and looked over at her. “What about school?” She was always pushing me to apply myself, and now she was essentially allowing me to play hooky.
“I’d like to talk with you about a few things on your file.”
I shifted under my seatbelt. “Ok.”
Marie didn’t start talking until we were both nearly through with our lunches.
“Your emancipation is going to be granted.”
I couldn’t stop the smile from filling my face. It could have easily been the first smile I had in months. “That’s awesome.”
“Not every kid does,” she said, staring across the table at me, “but will you be looking to do a name change?”
It wasn’t something I had ever considered but…
In light of what was going on with him, I thought I’d be better off severing all ties to my former self once I stepped away from the system.
“I think so.”
Marie nodded and opened up her notebook, jotting something down. “You’ll have a hearing in a few weeks. We can work it so it aligns with the military.” She flipped her pen over to click the tip in and put the pen back down. “Is there anything—anything—else you’d like to discuss, Genna?”
I bit my lip and shook my head. “No.”
“Nothing at all?”
Again I shook my head.
“You understand that if I hear reports on things going on with you, it’s my responsibility to have them investigated, correct?”
I nodded.
“The clinic wants to further investiga—”
“It’s fine,” I interrupted her. “I’m fine.” I shook my head. “We were just rough.”
Marie considered me and tightened her lips. I didn’t think she believed me.
Finally though, she conceded. “Ok.”