Nya

“I wish you were here.”

“Traveling? No thank you,” Jade said. I could hear the disgust in her voice and laughed at the thought of my homebody friend taking a vacation.

I giggled, sank deeper into the bubbles that overflowed the massive tub in the rustic yet luxury hotel room.

“Girl, I’m telling you, even you could get used to this.”

“Yeah, no thank you. Besides, your new friend Mr. Murphy probably wouldn't appreciate a third wheel. Unless ya’ll are into that kind of thing. Which is cool but not for me,” Jade said.

“You know I’m not very good at sharing, but it’s a moot point because Mr. Murphy won’t be here,” I replied.

“And you’re okay with that?” she asked, her voice going serious.

I paused, squeezed the phone a little tighter.

“I have no choice but to be,” I said.

“Not an answer, Nya,” she said.

“But it’s the best one I have,” I said.

She sighed. “Okay so I guess I’m gonna have to say it.”

“I guess you’re gonna have to,” I replied in a weary breath.

“You know what kind of man he is.”

“I do,” I replied quickly.

Even though she was a hundred miles away, I could practically see Jade shaking her head. “You know that’s not what I mean,” she said.

“You don’t know him,” I replied.

“Oh my God. Listen to yourself. I don’t know him? I know that not two months ago he was looking at a federal indictment. I know that he is a freaking criminal. You know the thing you’re supposed to hate?”

“Jade, I don’t need your lecture,” I said, my voice rising.

“You sure about that?” she countered.

“Yeah, I’m sure. And it doesn’t matter because like I said, Patrick’s not here. I am getting out now. The water’s getting cold.”

“Look, Nya—”

“No, I think I’ve had enough conversation today. Talk to you later, Jade,” I said.

She sighed. “Bye,” she replied in a heavy voice.

I hung up quickly, felt a moment of regret.

I’d let my anger get the best of me when I knew that Jade was only looking out for my best interests. I also knew that she spoke the truth. But that didn’t change the fact that Patrick was more than I had expected, and more than one would think if they looked at him in black-and-white.

I’d had an opportunity to know him, his family, knew that whatever he might’ve done, whatever was written about him, that he was a good person. That he was the person I loved.

But I’d told the truth when I said it didn’t matter.

Patrick wasn’t here, and he wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t give us that chance.

As I’d ridden with the driver, a nice man but a stranger, and worst of all not Patrick, I’d come to accept a sad truth.

That time with him, that one explosive encounter that had mushroomed into something that had changed my life, all the time we’d spent together after was over. This little trip proved that, so it was probably good that Jade reminded me of all the reasons that we couldn’t work.

It hurt, but I knew her heart was in the right place, and besides, I needed to remember that, needed to cling to anything that might make me hurt less.

I got out of the bathtub and drained it and once I was done, I padded into the huge bedroom and tossed the prepaid cell phone that James had given me onto the bed. I knew Patrick was behind that little touch. He’d also seen that my favorite snacks and a few movies I’d mentioned wanting to watch were waiting for me.

It was thoughtful, just another example of why I’d lost my heart to him. Which was insane if I really thought about it. The only reason I was here was because of Patrick’s life, the people after him, the father who seemed intent on antagonizing him.

Yet that didn’t matter as much as his thoughtfulness, didn’t matter as much as my feelings for him.

I knew he had to have some affection for me. He wouldn’t have allowed me into his home, allowed me to spend time with his brothers, wouldn’t have been so frantic about Aengus in my house if he didn’t.

But he was pushing me away. He was trying to protect me from his life, but I resented him not allowing me to make that choice for myself.

“Patrick Murphy, I don’t understand you,” I whispered.

“Too bad, because I was hoping you would be of some assistance.”

I froze, looked around the beautifully appointed room for the source of the voice.

My heart was pounding, and for a moment I questioned my sanity. The door was closed and there was no one in the room.

“Over here.”

I froze, looked at the cordless phone on the nightstand.

“That’s right. Here,” the voice said.

I moved my gaze from the phone to the door, desperate to get to James.

“If you’re looking for your chaperone, don’t. He’s dead,” the voice said.

I inhaled, shocked, but instinct told me to believe it. I didn’t know what to do, so I stood frozen, my mind racing. My gaze landed on the phone and I began to walk toward it slowly. Whatever was happening was very, very bad, but I needed to keep it together, had no other choice.

I stopped, stared down at the phone. “Who are you?” I called tentatively.

My voice trembled, but I ignored that, stared at the phone as if doing so would give me answers.

“Who I am is not important. What’s important is how much you matter to Patrick Murphy. For your sake, I hope it’s a lot.”

The red light on the headset turned off and the room was again cloaked in silence.

The difference between thirty seconds ago and now was a lifetime. In the space of that short conversation, the sleek, modern hotel room nestled in beautiful mountains had been transformed.

I ran to the door, tried to open it and found it locked. Did the same with all of the windows, though I knew it was hopeless. Raced for the cordless phone and picked it up.

No sound.

Grabbed the prepaid phone, hoping to make a call, maybe access the Internet.

No signal.

I dropped down atop the bed, looked around at the expensive cream linen upholstery, the real hardwood chairs at the small dining nook.

Again confirmed what I already knew.

My retreat had become a prison.